Author's Note:
This is what months of writer's block on one story makes me do. To be honest, I was itching to write something slightly different with the Loud House cast then what was previously written, before. Namely, I wanted a story not focused on Lincoln or any of the usual sisters that are put into the spotlight as somewhat of a challenge for myself. This is the end result. I hope you enjoy.
Living a Loud Life
Chapter 1: Sanctuary, Sanctuary
Heavy steps and heavier breaths carried an exhausted figure up several flights of stairs. Exiting onto the 3rd floor, the long-winded young man dragged himself down the hall. A pair of dark khaki trousers and a striped yellow and blue dress shirt clad tightly to the tired fellow's acorn skin. On his left wrist, a silver watch stylized in roman numerals affixed itself. His hair was shaped into a high top that was a few days overdue a trip to the barbershop. Situated on the ridge of his nose, one could locate his pair of round glasses, lenses slightly smudged.
To say Clyde McBride wasn't in the best of moods would barely cover it. After waking up late for his internship, tripping twice on the way to his bus, finding a new hole in his favorite pair of socks, and insulting research head the poor young man was looking forward to a nice relaxing time in his apartment.
Unfortunately for him, his roommates had other plans.
"I told you it was mine! I was saving that for later!"
"Oh yeah, well you should've labeled it then."
"Who labels a piece of cake?!"
"Someone who clearly wants to eat it. Or someone who has a birthday."
"Ugh, you're the worst!"
"No, I'm the best!"
"Great, just what I wanted."
The voices emanating from within immediately broke the brief respite felt when entering inside. Yelling back and forth in the middle of the kitchen were Clyde's two least favorite people at this current moment: Lana and Lola Loud. If this was childhood, he could simply walk out that door and head on home, avoiding the great fallout from a Loud sister feud. However, at this time he could not do that for he was already home. Lana and Lola were his roommates.
Clyde was not all too happy about that.
"Hello? You two alright in there?"
"Oh, Clyde! Perfect, you came just in time. Now we can end this once and for all."
"Hmph. Well the answer is a no brainer if you ask me but go ahead and ask away if you want."
"Look guys, I'm not really looking to get in between whatever you two are arguing about today. I mean just today I-"
"Ah, come on, man! This won't take long at all." The eagerness Lana spoke with broke what little resistance had. With a sigh and a nod, he relented into listening in.
With gusto, Lana excitedly continued. "Hear me out: yesterday at work I got to take home some cake after the party we had for Bob's retirement."
"You mean the bucktooth guy who had that sponge accident?"
"No, I'm talking about the builder."
"Huh, who would've guessed."
"Just get to the point where I'm right, Lana."
"…Anyways, I ate half of my slice last night and put the rest of it on a plate."
"Which was not labeled, I might add."
"Sure, Lola, because everybody does that."
"Everyone with a brain."
"Why you-"
"Ladies, please! What happened next?"
Lola snorted, earning a scornful look from Lana before went on. "It just so happened that I came back home today looking to finish off that bad boy of a dessert when I caught miss SNOOTY here licking the last of the frosting off of the plate!"
"Please, I wouldn't be caught dead licking a dish like some common dog."
"But, you did eat it?" Clyde bluntly asked. "The cake, I mean."
Lola paused for a few seconds before answering. "Why, yes, I did."
A singular palm found its way sliding down the front of Clyde's face. "Alright then, what do you need me here for?"
"Lola says she had every right to eat it."
"There's no law anywhere that states I'm wrong."
"While I know miss doodoo head here if full of shit."
"Excuse me?"
"Alright, alright I get it. So, all you want to know is if-"
"I was right." Lola staunchly proclaimed.
"Or she was wrong." Lana spat.
"Oh boy."
It was moments like these, when living with these twins, that Clyde dreaded the most. More than any of the siblings his best friend Lincoln had, Lana and Lola had a deadest rivalry bordering on full antagonism at times. Every little thing could turn into a war between them and being caught in the middle was a sure way to end up bruised, whether mentally or in the extreme cases, physically.
They were at their worst however, whenever they needed someone to decide something between them. No one wants to be on the receiving end of one of these two if you side with the other. Yet it seemed that today, inevitably, Clyde would have to be the deciding factor in this matter.
The increasingly sweaty center of attention focuses his gaze on Lana. A steel blue utility vest was worn unzipped on her torso, with a pistachio colored polo laying underneath. Dark gray mechanic pants, adorned with pockets Clyde assumed were filled to the brim with an assortment of tools, covered her legs all the way down to her chestnut boots. A maroon baseball cap turned backwards partially covered her dirty blonde hair, the rest flowing a little past her shoulders in two pigtails. She seemed to be trying her best to don the most sympathy garnering puppy dog eyes imaginable, although the grease stains spotted around her face distracted from them a bit.
Clyde shifted his focus over to Lola, whose face was composed in as innocent a semblance as possible. Her figure was hugged by a pale pink pencil dress. A cropped white cardigan clung to her upper torso with its long sleeves ending right where a pair of pastel floral lace gloves. Her hair, dyed to a more consistent golden blonde, flowed down to the middle of her back. All in all, she looked pristine, elegant even, like a princess.
To be honest, Clyde didn't know who to choose. It could be said that he looked for the best in people as he often gave them blind trust. He wasn't the best at seeing a person's true colors, especially on a glance. Still, he knew Lana and Lola for years. Seasonal and calendar changes gave him time to know more about a person and without a shadow of a doubt he knew that Lana, while sneaky at times, had an honest heart while Lola was a master of deception. Lies came second nature to her, and she often used them with her stage acting skills to get things to fall the way she wanted. That wasn't to say she never said the truth as in serious moments, she often broke her façade. This wasn't a serious fight, nor should it be something, Clyde thought, that should be taking up his time.
"Why does it have to be me?"
He could think of at least five different things he could be doing. Still, it wasn't in a McBride's nature, and certainly not his, to forgo help.
"I think…from the evidence gathered here, that while both of you have compelling arguments and staunch cases for them…"
"Just get to the point, poindexter."
"Uh, well, it does stand to reason that there was no way to tell that the cake Lana put in the fridge was meant to be saved."
"What?!"
"HA! In your face!"
"However,"
"…What?"
"The fact that Lola has a far greater history of mishandling other people's property for her own personal gain cannot be ignored. Consequently, it can only be logically deduced that Lola would have eaten the cake regardless of whether she knew it was meant specific person or not. Therefore, to conclude, Lola's untrustworthiness proves Lana right and that's all folks. Igottagonowbye!"
With that, Clyde scurried away to his room, leaving the pair of blonde sisters in a befuddled stupor.
"Hold on. Did he just… nah, there's no way…I'M untrustworthy!?"
"I'm right…"
"Seriously, of all the people in the world HE claims I have problems using other people's stuff? I'm sure Mr. 'I'm-such-a-saint' has used something without someone else's permission."
"He said I was right!"
Suddenly, a smile that could outshine a thousand suns etched itself onto Lana's face. She called down the hall Clyde had disappeared down, her voice filled with happiness."
"Thanks for having my back, Clyde! You won't regret it!"
"Oho, you are so going to regret this."
"Oh, I already regret it."
The twist of a knob and push on a door was all it took to enter the sanctity of one of the bedrooms in the abode. A breath Clyde had unconsciously been holding prisoner released itself from its imprisonment.
"Home sweet home."
With a shrug of his shoulders, the tired resident laid down the canvas knapsack he'd been carrying on the wooden floor. His parents had been adamant about it being wood. Carpeted interiors didn't do well for Clyde's allergies. Kneeling down, he rummaged through his bag pulling out all the essential's he'd need, his laptop, computer charger, and couple of papers. A hop and a skip away were all it took to cross over the space and reach his desk. Seating himself on a rickety wooden seat, reminding himself to get one of those rolling computer chairs saw advertised, he placed his laptop in front of him and began booting it up.
"Living with two sisters when you're the only guy can be pain. It's even more of a pain when you're not related to them. As a matter of fact- wait, I don't have inner monologues? Ah, man, I was looking forward to those!"
For the past year, Clyde had been attending grad school on a scholarship, doing research under a renowned biologist and working his way to earn a doctorate. On his path towards earning said title, part of his time was spent working as a T.A. for one of the undergrad classes in the chemistry department. Initially, Clyde was keen to be assisting in the teaching of younger minds, yet his enthusiasm waned day after day when it dawned on him that Chemistry 101 wasn't the most engaging of classes.
(Considering I was able to skip over that class due to my AP Chem tests, I consider myself lucky. Okay, okay! No more, 4th walk breaking!)
Grading the many assignments written by students was by far the most boring part of his day. At least with labs, Clyde could work directly with people, engaging in conversation and seeing the application of concepts and methodology learned. With grading it was simply an answer sheet and a pen. Everything was carefully and painstakingly ordered already and there was no room for interpretation. The professor for this course, having a class just size slightly under the average, was able to get away with the use of written tests, having a distinct distrust of scantrons due to a few articles he happened to read online.
It was because of this that Clyde McBride had to go through 30 different chemistry tests and grade them, by hand, over the weekend. Reaching over, Clyde pulled open the desk drawer and pulled out a bottle of lens cleaning solution. Spraying it a specialized cloth, he began wiping the smears off of his glasses. It was bad enough having to deal with school work on top of his research work on top of Lana and Lola, but dealing with issues of unkemptness? That's where Clyde drew the line.
Looking back on it, Clyde examined the recent fight between the twins, if you could even call it that. The relationship he had with them was…unusual, to say the least. It just so happened that the year Clyde got accepted into his grad school of choice was also the year the two Loud sisters had graduated from their undergraduate university. Lana wanted to go straight into the workforce, not interested in earning anything past her bachelor's and Lola put herself into the entertainment industry as soon as possible. While they would never say it out loud, the truth was they were never interested in being too far apart from one another. When it happened that both of their interests aligned in one city, they jumped on the opportunity.
Unfortunately, the cost of rent was bit out of their price range. The few other siblings who lived in the area already had living plans with other people and it seemed like when it came to their dreams, there was no such luck.
That's when Lincoln Loud stepped in. He and Clyde had been rooming together in the city for months already, himself laboring as an inker for an up and coming indie comics studio. When the company had shifted offices further north, Lincoln found himself an extremely small apartment that would give a hermit crab a run for its money. The snow-haired young man had stated that he was already used to the limited space given his childhood household and was prepared for the adjustment so long as it was okay with Clyde. The bespectacled friend was understanding of the situation, but he needed his own solution to the predicament he faced now that he was down a second tenant, the first having broken off from them on strained terms.
"Why don't I just live with your sisters then?"
The spray that shot out from Lincoln's spit-take that day could be felt on cheekbones miles away. For the half hour or so after, the Loud son had tried rationalizing the complete insanity that was that idea. Yet for every listed reason as to why sharing a space with Lola or Lana would lead to utter misery for him, Clyde had a logical argument to reason them away. Eventually, Lincoln yielded his position, most likely out of pure curiosity, and got his best friend in contact with his siblings. The rest was history as far as Lincoln was concerned.
"Sadly, for me, that wasn't the case."
Clyde really did wonder if he made the right choice that day. Sure, he didn't have to apartment hunting in what was already a housing scarce section of the town, but also now lived with two of the most conflicting personalities in the world. Forget "home sweet home", on his way home from the university all he traded was one mountain of stress for another. That isn't to say he disliked Lana and Lola, far from it. Yet, there merely was no escape from being in contact with a trigger towards his anxiety.
Picking up the only red pen in his collection off the desk in front of him, Clyde grabbed an exam off the top of the pile and began comparing it to the answer sheet opened on the laptop before him. Noticing a mistake, the weary T.A. started to put ink to paper in order put down a red mark, the first of many to come he mused.
Lo and behold, the pen was dry.
Despite the narrator's protests, Clyde looked deadpan through the fourth wall.
"Yup, it's one of those days."
