First one shot. It's a little sad, tell me if you like it. Oh, and Happy Valintimes Day!
I'm finally coming back to Forks Washinton. Its been over a hundred years since I left this place, and none of the other Cullens could bring themselves back. After we left Bella here, my dear sweet Bella, we all just sort of floated away from each other. Alice and Jasper live somewhere in South America and Rose and Emmet have been in Australia for the past two decades. Carlisle took Esmee on an extened tenth honeymoon to Japan two years ago, and I haven't heard from any of them since. I just lost touch with everyone after, I was just lost. I couldn't stand to be in the same area as three other couples, it hurt too much.
I came back to pay my respect to Bella, but she must have moved, because there was no grave for a Bella, anyone, here. And since I felt masachistic, I decided to go see My Love's old home. To see if her great-grandchildren lived here and could tell me about their great-grandmother. But the house wasn't there, just an empty plot of land that smelled of soot and decay. Devistated, I went to my old home. Over the last hundred years the forest had reclaimed the vacant land and all that was left was a mountan of vines in the shape of a house. The porch was still there with a live green floor.
Something glinted under the live foliage. I ripped away the green ivy from that section of wall and under the years of growth was a copper colored mail box just hanging there. There were letters crammed in the small box and it was overflowing. I looked down to the green floor, and,with out a moments hesitation, riped the creeping vines from the boards, throwing them somewhere behind me.
There, laying on the worn wood, were hundreds upon hundreds of letters. Some faded, but all still closed. I didn't know Carlisle sold the house, Esme had loved it so much, but how else to explain all the letters? I picked up one of them, and crumpled to the ground.
All the letters were from Bella, all addresed to me. All the hundreds of letters were from My Love. I felt the fault line in my chest open into the gapping hole that I've spent the last century trying to mend. My Love had writen to me, and I never knew. I reached down and grabbed a letter out of the pile and riped it open. The letter tumbled into my lap.
_
"Bella, are you going over to Jake's house?" Charlie asked as he heard me come down the stairs. He turned in his seat as I stepped down from the last step. His face went from happy, to worried in a snap. "Hey, you're looking a little down, hun. What's wrong?"
Ever since He left, it seems that everyone's walking on egg shells. I can't even feel a little bad every now and then with out somebody worring. So, I did the only thing I could, I pasted a fake smile on my face and lied.
"Oh, I'm fine, just a little tired. And no, I won't be going to Jake's house today. He's a little busy helping Billy with something." I was becoming a really good liar, and I was starting to wonder if I should rejoice, or be ashamed.
"Oh," Charlie said, face brightening. He turnd back to his news paper. "What will you be doing today then?"
I was walking over to the cupboard when I answered, smile still in place, "I was going to study for finals some more. What will you be up to today, Dad?" I asked as I grabbed out a bowl and a box of Life. I then went over to the fridge for the milk.
"I have to go to the station for a few hours. Will you be okay by yourself?" He asked, looking worried again.
"Oh, I'll be fine." I said and hoped my face still looked happy.
Charlie left while I was half way through my breakfast, kissing me on my head, telling me how I grew up to fast. As the door closed the smile slipped from my face. I finished eating then washed my bowl in the sink.
I decided that I would study some more for finals, though that's all I ever seemed to do. My mind wonderd to Jake. He was having a pack meeting today, something I don't think anyone would want Charlie knowing. My Dad and Jake were still so worried about me, it seemed all I did was hurt the ones I love. As I walked in my room I fell on my bed, no longer in a sudying kind of mood.
What were things between Jake and I? I knew he had feelings for me, he made that perfectly clear. But what where my feelings for him? Could I ever really love Jake the way I love Ed-, the way I loved Him? Could I ever forget the one person my heart always yearns for and love another?
The mere thought sent pain through me. No, no. I could never love with my whole being the way I loved Him. But could I grow to? Could I try? Should I try?
I sat up on my bed, wrapping my arms around my middle, trying to hold my self together. How could I possibly find someone with all this pain locked inside of me? I should probably start keeping a journal. Some place to let my fellings pour out. Thats it!
I walk over to me desk and grabbed a piece of paper from my printer. The idea was that I would write a letter, then send it to Him. But, would he find it? Would he even care? I'd write it anyway, just to let him know that I would never forget him. Ever.
March 17, 2007
My Dearest Love,
I will never forget you. And as I haven't the faintest clue as to where you or your family went, I send these letters to the last place I know you have been in hopes that you will return there some day and find them. I will not go looking for you. But know this, I will never give up. I will someday be like you, a vampire. You left to keep me safe, I know, but I am now in more danger than ever, for now I haven't my Guardian Angle to protect me. Victoria is back on the hunt for me. Jacob, my childhood friend, has sworn to protect me. Jacob my werewolf.
I hear your voice sometimes. It dosen't hurt as much as hearing your name, and it reminds me you still love me. At least, I think you still love me. I will try to move on, but know this, I will always love you. More than you could, or ever will, know. I will never forget the times we shared. We will someday be together again, this I swear.
Yours always,
Bella Swan
I was crying tearless sobs by the first line. My Bella thought I didn't love her? And she was spending her time with a werewolf. That cut me to the core, like throwing salt in an open wound. Choking for a breath that I didn't need, I reached for another random letter.
I looked in the mirror and saw myself looking back, a single tear rolled down my cheek. I was getting married. Married to Jacob Black, my warming sun, my replacement protector. I'll be leaving for the church in a half hour and becoming a diffrent person. Another tear rolled down my cheek as I thought of all the "could have beens."
Edward and I watching the full moon, hands entwined, running throught the forest. Flashes of my "would be family" ran before my eyes. Alice dragging me to go shopping, Emmett and I wrestling, Jasper calming me, Rose laughing with me, Carlisle and Esme smiling as they looked over our family. Edward kissing me and telling me he loved me. All the things I know would have happened if they never left, if I could have just said NO to Alice about that stupid, undesired party.
"Bella, darling. It's time to go." Rennee's chipper voice came from the other side of the door.
"Coming." I said, wiping the stray tears from my eyes and placing a smile on my face. I opened the door to a brightly smiling Renee in a light green dress. She looked me in the eyes and the smile faltered.
"Bella, honey, are you alright?" She asked taking me in her arms and closing the door behind her. "Do you want me to call Jake?"
Renee loves Jake, loves him like a son, but she knew that I still missed Edward. "No, mom. I'm just a little nervous. I really do love Jake." I said through the sobs.
"Oh baby," She cooed, taking my face in both her hands and wiping my tears away with her thumbs. I gave her a smile, trying to reasure myself more than her. But I do really love Jake. Over the years he was the one who was always there for me, whether I was being chased by vampires or just falling over my own two feet.
"Mom, were going to be late." I said pulling away and wipping my eyes with the back of hand. She gave me a sad smile.
"Are you sure you want to do this? We can always cancel." She said as we walked out of my room.
"Yes, mom, I really want to marry Jacob." I said as we walked out the front door and into the waiting car. The car that would take me to the reception and to my real future.
August 23, 2010
Dear Edward,
After today I will be Mrs. Black. Leah, Renee, and Emily will be helping me into my dress in the next few moments, so I write this quickly. Please tell Alice that I saved her a spot as one of my bride's maids. I will always love you Edward, but I'm going to move on. If you would have stayed, I know things would have been different.
Sorry,
Isabella Black
She found happiness in her life. That's all thats really matters to me. "I'll always love you too, Bella." I wisped aloud as I picked out another letter.
"Come on baby, your doing great. Just one more big push." Jacob was coaching me as I squeezed his hand. I was panting as the doctor told me to relax and that I was almost done.
"Okay Bella, I want you to take three deep breaths and push. Can you do that for me?" Came the doctor's calming words. I nodded my head, then took three deep breaths before wailing cry of my baby echod through the room.
"Congradulations Mr. and Mrs. Black. You have a beautiful and heathy baby girl. Would you like to cut the embilical cord, Daddy?" The doctor announced happily.
"Oh, Bella. She's so beautiful." Jacob said as he held the little pink bundle close to his heart. He walked over to my side and laid my beautiful little girl in my arms. "What are we going to name her."
"How about Elise. 'E' for Emily and 'lice' for Alice. But we'll spell it Elise without the 'C'."
"I will not name my daughter after a blood sucker." Jacob spit out, his hands starting to shake. I knew I should be worried, but for some odd reason I wouldn't let up on the name thing.
"You didn't have to carry her for nine months so I get to name her and I'm naming her after Es-Emily and one of my best friends Alice." I said starring into my daughter's eyes. "Calm down, Jake. You don't want to startle the baby."
"Fine, you win." Jake said begrudgingly as he pulled up a chair next to my bed. And as he was sitting down he gave me a tired smile.
"Why don't you go home Jake, get some sleep. God knows I won't be leaving anytime soon." I said touching the shadows under his eyes. They reminded me of a different set of eyes. Amber, but the shading was from lack of food instead of sleep deprevation.
"No, I'll stay. You need your rest just as much as I do." Jake replied, but it was ruined by the large yawn that followed. "Maybe I'll just catch a few Z's here, then when you're discarged, we can go see your Dad."
"Okay. That sounds like a plan." Looking at my sleeping baby, my little Elise. I don't know how long I sat there just waching my sweetling dream, but the next thing I new there was a knock on my hospital room door.
I looked over to my left and saw that Jake was sleeping and it was 7:58. "Come in." I called softly and the door swung open to reveal Leah.
"Hey, Bella. How's the baby?" She said as she walked over to my side, glancing at Jake. "Oh, how precious. What have you named her?"
"Elise." I said smiling down on her sleeping form. I looked back up. "What bring's you here?"
"Oh, nothing. Just wanted to see the baby." Her words didn't match her actions.
"I've spent enough time with werewolves to know when they're lying."
"I came here to talk to Jacob. Pack stuff." She said not looking me in the eyes.
"Pack stuff as in vampires?" She didn't answer. "Okay. Well, if its not important enough for you to have to wake Jake, then it's not that serious."
"Ya. Well, I'd better be going. Could you tell Jacob to call me when he wakes up?" Looking fidgety.
"Sure thing. See ya around." I said.
"Thanks. See ya." And then she was gone.
I looked around the white walled room, than down at the little pink blanket. Smiling, I reached over into one of the little side tables and pulled out a pen and a piece of paper. I would write Edward.
April 29, 2012
Edward,
She was born today, At 5:27 this morning. She is my happy, heathey baby girl. The name Jacob and I came up with is Elise. After Esme and Alice, thought Jacob thinks that the 'E' is for Emiley. She's so beautiful, with her deep, brown eyes and silky, black hair. Jacob hasen't left my side since she was born, but is now taking a nap in one of the hospital chairs, here in my room. I will be discharged at noon, then Jake and I will go show Charlie his new grandaughter. Leah left after she saw Jake was sleeping, and how my baby was doing. There's a new threat with the vampire's that has Leah on edge. I have to go, Elise just woke up.
-Isabella Black
"Come on baby girl. Come down please. It's time to go." I called up to Elise, my now four-year old daughter. Chalie's furneral is today, and Elise is refusing to come down from her tree hide out. "Please. Your making this very hard on mommy."
"No, I don't want to go." Came her sob ridden voice. I felt a pressure on the small of my back.
"Hey Jake." I said, still looking up into the boughs.
"Its time to go, honey. Is she still refusing to come down?" I nodded my head. "Do you want me to go up there and get her?"
"No. Let me go up and talk to her." I said kissing him on his cheek. I hadn't climed a tree in years, but that didn't stop me from swinging up.
"Elise, baby, we have to go." I said as I sat on the branch next to her, holding the trunk for dear life.
"No!" She sobbed as she tightened her grip on an outer branch. "I don't want to go."
"Baby, I know this is hard on you, its hard on me too. But we have to say good-bye to grandpa, so he can be happy in the next life."
"But mommy, I don't want to say good-bye-ye. I don't wanna." She wailed as she grabbed my arm and cried into my shoulder.
"Nobody wants to say good-bye, Elise, but sometimes we have to. We may wish that it wasn't the case, but it is and we have to move on in our lives." I don't know why, but I knew I had stopped taking about Charlie and had started to remimber Edward. How I didn't want him to say good-bye, but at least he had the heart to do it.
"But mommy, I miss him so much." She said looking up at me. I wiped the tears from her cheeks.
"I know, I know. I miss him to." I took a deep breath. "How about I tell you a story about saying good-bye?"
She nodded her head and I kissed her on the temple. "Once upon a time there was a lowly peasant girl who lived with her mother. She was really smart and always had a book in her hands. One day her mother married another man. She decided to give the happy couple some time and go live with her father." I smiled as I thought about it.
"The father lived in a far away kingdom in the high mountains where it rained all the time. The people in the town were nice. But the King and Queen's children where thought to be to high and mighty to come and work among their people.
"The girl didn't want to believe what might be a false hood, so she tried to befriend the princes and princesses. She found out that they were very kind and were just trying to save the kingdom by keeping apart from it. You see they had a curse set upon them that kept them forever young and it was dangerous if anyone found out.
"But that didn't stop the girl from falling in love with the eldest prince. Countless forces were against there love, but they previaled over almost all of them. In the end the prince and his warrior family had to go off to war. Before the Prince left, he was able to only grant her a fond good-bye. And just like that it was over. He never returned to her." Though I felt tears spring to my eyes, I didn't allow them to fall. I had to be strong in Elise's time of weakness.
"Even though at the time she was sad, she was glad to have been able to tell him good-bye." I hugged Elise closer to me. She looked up at me and I kissed her forehead, something that reminded me of Edward.
"Are you ready to say your fellwells to grandpa?" She gave me a watery eyed smile before nodding her head yes. "Good. Now could you go get your father, I'm going to need some help to get out of this tree."
January 16,2016
Edward,
Charlie's funeral was today. Renee flew up with Phil to say her final good-byes. And a huge shocker, she's pregnant. They don't know the gender yet but something tells me it'll be a little girl. Elise already understands that she won't be able to see grandpa anymore. So far, she's cryed more than I have. I think it's because I have already felt this pain when I lost you, and I know that the crying dosn't ever bring that person back.
-Isabella
"Come on baby. Oh Bella, I'm so proud of you. You're doing so good!" Squeeled Renee in my ear as another contraction pulsed through me and the doctor told me to push with it. Jacob was on my other side, pushing the hair back away from my eyes and whispering words of support in me ear.
"I can see the head." The doctor coached. "One more push Isabella. That's it, that's it." The echoing cry reverberated off the close walls. "Congradulations again. You have another beautiful, healthy baby girl."
I reached my hands out in a silent plea and Dr. Carmen placed my little angel in my arms. She had my uniform brown hair and eyes, she was so beautiful. "Oh, baby," Jacob cooed. "She looks just like you. Right down to her button nose." Right then she gave an adorable sneeze. Gosh, less than an hour old and she has her Daddy wrapped around her finger. At the sneeze Jake went into a startled fit, asking if she was okay, if she was sick, if she would get better.
"It's just a little sneeze. She's clearing her passages. Perfectly normal." The doctor laughed. "You'd think this was his first child." He patted me on the knee. "I'll be back in about twenty minutes to bring the next one in." I smiled as he left the room.
"Next one? What does he mean 'next one'? Bella?" He looked so scared.
"Oh hush Jacob." My mother said, picking up the little pink bundle from my arms. "It's just twins. Nothing to get your panties in a bunch over."
"Twins!" He half shrieked. His knees buckled and he colapesd in a heap on the floor. Renee kackled.
"Emily? Did you get that, honey?" Emily and her video recorder, stepped out from behind the bed dividers. One hand was over her mouth, trying to contain her giggles and the other was supporting the technological device.
"I'm so happy you didn't tell him." Emily giggled. "This is the best thing I've seen since... well, I don't know since when."
"Here, Emily," Renee said passing my little girl over. Emily held her tight, still keeping the camera trained on Jake, making little cooing noises to the baby. Renee kneeled over Jake's body. "Wouldn't want Daddy to miss act two, now would we?"
She smaked his cheeks a couple of times before he came to. It looked so amusing, my petite mother smaking around a full grown werewolf. He sat up, looking a little dazed, and Emily placing our precious bundle into his arms. A look of pure adoration shone from his eyes as they steadly stared into hers.
"What do you want to name her Jake-y?" I asked, not able to take my eyes off the scene.
"How about Samantha? Samantha Joice Black?" He looked up at me for conformation.
I smiled. "It sounds lovely, honey. I love it."
The doctor came back in, clapping his hands together and rubbing them back and forth. All I really heard after that point was that I had a son. The doctor once again placed the bundle, this time blue, into my waiting arms.
Cuddling him to my chest, I pulled the blanket away from his face. He looked so peaceful, so small and cute. He yawned preciously, then opened his eyes to stare right at me.
"Edward..." It was a silent breath, for all the air had been knocked from me. Emerald eyes smiling at me. So green, so deep, so...dazzling. They were His eyes. How did he get His eyes? Renee has green, but nothing this vivid, more of a leafy color.
"Mom.." I called softly. She came to look at my son, and took a sharp breath.
"He looks just like him." She was amazed, it was evident in her voice. "It's uncanny how much they look like his."
I looked over at Jake. He stood off in the corner of the little room, taking deep calming breaths. They weren't working. His eyes were darker, his arms around our baby girl, as his body vibrated. I was instantly terrifide.
"Emily," My voice came out shrill and strained, I tried to get it under control. "Emily, Renee? Why don't you take Samatha and this little guy out to see their sister and young uncle." I handed my little man over to Renee, who was to taken with his looks to see Jake having his little wolfy melt down. Emily on the other hand rushed over to Jake and plucked my baby out of his arms before ushering Renee and our son out the door.
The room was silent. Neither of us wanting to break it with the wrong words. Jake stood in the courner, as far way from me as he could get in the limited space. Though I new it was for my safety, it still hurt.
"Jake, talk to me." I almost begged.
"What do you want me to say Bella?" He growled, the tendons in his neck straining beneath his russet skin. "That I don't want you to name MY son after that THING. That I..."
"What, Jake. That you can't love your son? That you'll hate him for having green eyes?"
"No!"
"Then what?"
"I don't know!" He bellowed. Then calmed, and almost in a whisper. "I don't know."
"How did he even get green eyes?" I was baffled. Was it the universe just saying that it hated me?
"My mother had green eyes." He said softly.
"Oh, Jake," Maybe the universe does hate us. It gave our son the eyes of my ex-boyfriend and Jacob's mother who abondoned him, his father, and sisters.
The room when silent again, this silence having a sad edge to it. I again broke it first. "What do you want to name him?"
He ran his hand over his face, rubbing his head vigorously, then blowing out a gust of air. "What ever you want, sweetheart."
"Good, now come give the mother of your children a kiss."
Febuary 17,2017
Edward
The twins were born today. We named our new little girl Samantha and our first baby boy _. Samantha has my chocolate brown eyes and my dark brown hair, but _ went lighter. He has your green eyes. He is you, and it almost hurts to look in his eyes and see you staring back.
-Isabella
"Okay, Mrs. Black is it?" The Doctor asked walking in my little room.
"Bella, if you please."
"Bella, I hear you've been having some headaches. On a scale of one to ten, what you'd you rate your pain while having these?" He asks looking through his chart.
"Oh, I don't know. It ranges between a seven and nine, I would say." I was sitting on one of those vinyl tables with the crinckly paper covering.
The doctor took out a penlight and flashed it in my eyes. "And how often do you have these headaces?"
"They've been coming sooner and sooner over the last couple months. Now I'm having them about two times a week."
"And about how long do they last?"
"Oh, uh, the longest one lasted about thirty-six hours and the shortest about one."
"Okay Mrs. Black, Bella, I want to run a MRI on you. Its very uncommon for a headache to last that long and keep reocurring over that type of time span."
"Okay. But what could that mean?" MRI just didn't sound like a run of the mill check-up.
"It could be nothing. Maybe a bump on the head that you thought was nothing, but has caused some brain swelling. I just want to check."
As he got me situated in the machine, I wondered what could be wrong. I didn't remember taking a terrible fall recently. But could Dr. Mosket really be doing this for no reason? It didn't seem likely.
"Okay, Bella. I need you to keep very still so we can get a clean image. Its going to be kinda loud, but it will be over soon. You ready?"
I nodded my head before laying into the support groove, trying to relax. It wasn't working. I kept having flashes of Elise at her wedding. Or Samantha at her Senior Prom. Or little _ at his championship football game. What if the test results weren't good? Would I still be able to see all of this? The twins riding a bike for the first time? Walking Elise to her first day of kindergarden?
Would I even see Sam and _'s first birthday? That thought brought tears to my eyes. I wouldn't be able to see my baby's grow old and have their own kids. No more Christmases. No more reading time. No more kisses.
No! The test would come back and nothing would be wrong. It would just be the extra stress of watching twins and an adventures five-year-old that would be the cause of my headaches. Nothing more. Everything would turn out fine.
"Mrs. Black, I'm sorry to be the one to inform you, but you have a sizable tumor in your brain. The biopsy shows it to be malignent. And it is non-operable. I am truly sorry..."
He might have said more but I could hear nothing over the sound of my world grinding to a halt...
December 12,2017
Edward, I went to the doctor today, and there is something you need to know. I have a malignent tumor in my brain. Remember when you said there was something wrong with my head? We'll I guss you were right. The doctors were astonished that I was still able to function properly. They also told me that my time has run out, that it has actually been out for awhile now. For all they know, I could be dead tomorrow. They gave me a maximum of six months if I was very, very lucky. But we both know that luck was never on my side. I haven't told Jake yet, because I wanted to tell you first. My first and only true love. Goodbye Edward. I love you, and I'll only ever be yours.
-Bella Cullen
I looked down for the next letter. The one that would say that all the doctors were wrong and she was going to live, and had lived, a long and happy life full of kids and grandkids. I tore through all the letters, checking the dates for the next one in the sequence. There was none. That was the last window into Isabella's, my Bella's, life. I crumpled, and right then the clouds let their rain fall, and the sky cried with me.
I don't know how long I just lay there, as the rain fell. But I felt a presence close, too close, for my comfort. And it was one of my kind. I shot up, standing so the wall of the house was at my back. I couldn't hear in their mind and that had me worried. In this state I wouldn't, couldn't, be able to defend myself very well, with this gaping hole in my chest and the knowledge that My Love died before thrity.
The vamipire came out of the nearest tree, jumping out and landing in her saphire blue heals on the bottom stair to the pourch. She had on a black cape with the hood pulled up. I sank down into a defencive crouch, but my opponent didn't copy me. She mearly reached her hands up slowly,as if to say she ment no harm, and grabbed hold of her hood, pulling it back in one swift motion.
Rich, wavey, brown hair tumbled out, and amber eyes stared out at me. She looked so much like Bella that me stance falterd for a second. But the woman infront of me didn't strike. She just gave me a caring look.
"How have you been, Edward?" She asked, her voice thick with emotion.
"Bella?" I asked. She hardly had time to nod her head before I tackled her, twisting in the air so I would be the one to land on the ground. Even before we reached impact, I was kissing her with all I had.
XOXOXOX XOXOXOXOX
That's it. I wanted to get it up to celebrate Valintimes Day. The day of love. I might add some more to this later. If you read it, let me know. THANK YOU! I need Baby names! Should it be Edward or Jacob? Or a new name altogether? Please please please help me!
-Evana
