After writing my other ff, Free me from this world, I realized Lavi seriously needed his own good story. And so, this idea came to me quite fast. An idea of what might have happened after he was kidnapped by the Noah on the day when the 14th was awokened by Kanda.

I hope you will like and review it! ^^

D Gray Man and its characters belong to Katsura Hoshino and I write it purely for fun.


Ch. 1 – Open your eye

He was staring into the clear, blue sky above his head. The air was fresh with early autumn morning. It was neither dry nor humid: a perfect start of a day. He was watching as the birds were soaring up high, taking their leave before the winter comes. They were silent, just as all the surroundings were. He took a deep breath and felt rain on the air, a storm coming.

He heard a sudden bustle in the meadow. He turned startled and saw a young woman nearing him. He was scared of people and wanted to go and hide, but stood frozen instead. She was waving at him and speaking sweetly.

'Hello there little one,' were her words, although somehow unclear, as though some static disturbed them. 'You're the boy from the huge mansion, aren't you? Quite a few boys live there, no?' she continued and came nearer. When she was just in front of him she kneeled beside him to be on his eye level. She smiled warmly but somehow she seemed worried. He recoiled at the sudden panic washing over him and in this precise moment the woman burst in flames. In a blink of an eye the whole meadow was burning and there was frantic shouting in the air. Smoke filled his lungs and he started coughing. He turned on the spot and started running ahead. He knew he had to get away, he was sure he could. Cries, fire, bullets – all this was too much for him. He didn't want to see any of it. It was terrifying. It was inhuman. He had to get away from all of this. So he ran ahead, half blind because the smoke made his eye water. His breath was wheezing, he felt weak. He couldn't take it anymore. But he had to run. He had to get away.

Suddenly, it was all silent. There was only the sound of some one panting heavily. Painfully. It felt real so he focused on the sound and followed it up to the surface of his consciousness. As he reached a reasonable level of comprehension he realized that the breathing was his own. So he was still breathing, he mused. However, he had no time to ponder more on this matter as a new sensation appeared. And it was pain. Overwhelming, numbing pain resonating in his whole body. So there was a body to feel? How surprising. And then, out of the sensations, he singled out one kind that was particularly bothering. There was something clutching his chest as if something heavy lay on top of him. It was hard to breathe. With every intake to his lungs he felt something piercing his insides. He tried to stop himself from sighing heavily, but the sound still left his parted lips.

'Finally awake, are you?' said a voice, presumably, in front of him. It was silky and vaguely familiar, but he couldn't really place it. Where was he? What had happened? What was his name? With the last question a striking realization came to him. He opened his one eye slowly. He blinked into focus the relaxed figure sitting opposite to him. The man smiled widely and uncrossed his legs. He rested his arms on his knees and looked straight into the green eye. 'Welcome back. We have an offer.'

He felt speechless.

After a few long seconds of a staring competition the man in front of him looked up and nodded slightly. Next thing Lavi knew, his head was yanked back by a firm hand and a grayish face neared him. He watched as lips, twisted in a horrifying smile, opened and a tongue slipped out. It was disgusting with so many eyes looking like they could pop out every moment. Quite against himself, Lavi gasped in fright, unable to do anything. And then, he felt his mouth opening and the revolting thing slid inside. He almost chocked on it and felt like vomiting any second but then it was over. He coughed violently and his head fell down again. He felt like fainting and he'd gladly welcome it at that moment. He felt sick. But then he realized that the weight has disappeared from his chest. He took one deep breath, then another. It was gone. How come?

He looked up slowly to the Noah in front of him. He was still smiling and Lavi tried to remember his name.

'Treat it as a token of our good will,' the Noah said pleasantly. 'I see you already look better without those parasites in your body,' he continued with a smile. Lavi just stared at him incredulously wondering what they wanted from him and how on earth would he manage to survive. And than a thought hit him – slowly and painfully he turned to look to his right. He gasped at the sight. All kinds of thought passed his mind, thoughts that he shouldn't have when he stared at his old master, obviously lifeless, on the armchair next to him. He should have never woken up, the thought frightened him like never in his short existence.

'Well then, as things are,' the Noah started once again and Lavi forced himself to look at the man. Tyki, was it? 'You can't really go back to the silly, little Order. They will either kill you on the spot or torture the answers about us out of you. We, however, decided to give you a choice,' he paused still wearing the same sweet, unwavering smile. 'You can take two paths, both of them pleasing us greatly. One, you can graciously agree to stick to us, cooperate with us and continue your Bookman thing or you can deny the offer and we'll get rid of you quickly and painlessly. So how's that?' Lavi looked at him dumbfounded.

He didn't really see a choice there. It was more like giving him two options to emphasize how he had only one. Either he betrayed his Clan or the Order and, by extension, people he dared to call friends. He was torn apart while he shouldn't be. It was not how he was trained, not how he chose to live. It was not the path he had taken. However, his years in the Order had changed him greatly, filled the void and made him human. Though, he wasn't human to start with. At least not after he took the apprenticeship. Could he throw away the best part of his life for which he worked so much? Could he disappoint the others?

He turned once again to the old panda. Really, did he have a choice to start with?

We must record and survive to pass the knowledge on. Remember that.

'What you want me to do?' he asked quietly, his voice hoarse from lack of other use than screaming. He heard a satisfied remark from the Noah but didn't turn to look at him. He put all his will and might to move his arm. It obliged reluctantly, and with a shaking hand he reached to touch his master. However, as he did so, a blinding pain pierced his mind. A rough scream tore his throat and he grabbed his head with both hands. He was falling. Into pain, into images, into darkness. Soundless void wrapped him yet again.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

He was running down the corridor. It seemed vaguely familiar but he couldn't quite place it. There were countless doors with no handles. There were black sleek walls of stone. There was light at the end. He burst into brightness at full speed, barely managing to stop as the floor ended. Before him, enormous gap opened. And it was not a window or something like that. It was a gap. A lack of walls and windows. It looked like half of a circular hall was blown away. It smelled of old fire and destruction. It smelled of death.

How long he's been sleeping?

About two days.

Shouldn't he be waking up already? Do they really need so much time?

Look, I'm not sure what happened to him back then.

Yeah, well, give him some time.

He went down the half-stairway. When he reached the last step he jumped from it, as it was not that high anymore. He landed on his bent knees and got up immediately. He turned around sharply as he could swear there was a faint sound behind. However, it seemed to be only his imagination. He moved on to another corridor that was also lined with doors but the smell there seemed worse. That's probably where the fires started, he thought and marched on.

At the end he found a large circular room that was stuffed with burned out equipment. Everything was a mess, probably turned upside down in the panic and evacuation. Like it always had been. But then, he spotted something out of the order. There was a metal cabinet, all shiny and new. It looked suspicious at the very least and so he came up to it. There, on a silver platter, a small hammer lay. It also looked strangely familiar. He moved to pick it up, but as soon as his fingers touched it, it fell into dust. Suddenly and irrationally freaked out, he turned on the heel and ran back to the staircase.

Come on, head up cheer up?, you might be unconscious or whatever but I'll make you drink something. There you go, good boy. Now lay and rest. I'll be back soon.

He stared at the broken walls. Why couldn't he remember what they were? He was sure he remembered them, he knew them. But for all he tried, he couldn't recall where that was. It made his head ache. He wanted to scream in frustration but no sound came out of his mouth when he tried. He wanted to kick something hard but the only things were those black stones and they sure looked hard. Instead, he went down one more floor and found himself in yet another corridor lined with doors. He moved slowly along them, caressing the blackened surfaces with his fingers.

Suddenly, his hand got stuck on something. He looked down and saw a door knob. He blinked at it. Sure as hell it was not there the last time he looked. Tempted, he turned it around and entered a small room. It was very modest and simple. A chair at a desk, a bed, a wardrobe. Nothing more. So impersonal.

Nagged by his intuition, he turned towards the closed doors and stopped dead. There, a girl younger than him was standing, swaying from side to side. Huge grin split her face and it was not one of an innocent child. Her huge golden eyes pierced him steadily but she said no word. And then, he noticed it. Against the black surroundings, in her dark hair she wore a luminous white lotus flower.

Lavi woke up with a jolt, sitting up. Immediately he regretted it as it made his head spin. He fell down onto the warm, soft pillow. What a dream, he thought closing his eyes and putting a hand against his forehead. It was almost as if he dreamed of the Headquarters –

He looked sharply to his side. And here he was, Tyki, sitting on the other side of the room, reading a book calmly. As if sensing his gaze, the Noah turned towards him and smiled quite a charming smile.

'Oh, you woke up finally!' he said cheerfully.

Well fuck.

'How are you? You gave us quite a scare, blacking out and screaming like hell back then,' he continued as if they were best friends worried about each other. What was his game?

Oh, he remembered the last time he was conscious, great. He turned away from the creepy Noah and looked at the ceiling. Clearly he remembered the scene, he touched old panda and then... then... his eyes widened at the realization and a blast of pain that shot through his head. He winced and gritted his teeth. These were Bookman's records, he knew it. Stored for so long, gathered over centuries. He had to sort them out.

'Hey,' a call came to him through the veil of his own thoughts. 'Are you even listening? No, you're not. Anyway, here's something to eat.' Lavi turned towards the Noah once again and saw him standing by the bed with a tray in his hands. Shaking a bit from exhaustion he sat up slowly and the meal landed on his knees.

'Eat up, Bookman. I'll be back later.' And with that Tyki left. He looked after him, at the doors behind which he disappeared. He sighted with resignation. Well shit, he thought, better face them well rested. His stomach cringed in protest but he was going to make it digest. He was not going to die over any petty reason, the thought. Unbidden, the last scene from his dream came back to his mind. Lavi had to die.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Left almost entirely to his own thoughts, the new made Bookman took his sweet time to sort out the logs that his late master has left him. There was an enormous amount of information and quite a job to arrange it all. Especially the part concerning the current mission – there were lots of partial logs, question marks and assumptions. And among those, faces and names he'd wish to forget for the time being or at least push them deep inside his brain to not see of hear them all the time. But he had to brace himself, he had to finish what they've started. He frowned mentally at all of them one by one. He never promised to be with them till the end, never ever did he say a word on that. It was all their stupid assumptions, they took it for granted and it was all their fault that now he wasn't coming back. His eye went wide at his own thoughts. Yes, put it on some one else, that's all you can do. That's the best of you, no? That's what you hate about humanity, he scolded himself and went back to his logs. There was no time to ponder and mourn over petty things.

The Bookman stretched his arms as he finally finished with his most recent log. How much time could have passed? He had no real way to count as the room lacked windows. So much for "cooperation", he thought bitterly. He wondered briefly how long they planned on keeping him there. He was done with his own little work and so it seemed like the right time to get himself back to being presentable, in case the Noah visited him after all.

When he got out from the bathroom he noticed right away that something was different in his little cozy cell. He looked around carefully and his sole eye rested on a bundle of clothes, neatly folded on his bed. Why didn't he hear some one opening the doors? He knew he had to get back onto paying close attention to his surroundings. Especially since he was to deal with Noah.

He stepped closer and saw a small card, covered with sleek writing. Thought your old clothes were a bit ragged. Hope you'll like those. He smirked humorlessly at the note and put it away. Well, he couldn't quite wear the uniform, no? It was time to stop drawing attention to himself: he was back in the shadows.

Slowly, he unfolded the clothes and stared at them for quite a moment - it was so not his style: stiff formality. Still, he had no choice. He put on the dress shirt and black trousers, only leaving the jacket behind. He also put on his good old boots, comfortable and useful in case he needed to run for his life. After all, one never knew what might happen.

After attaching a little pouch with his meager belongings to the belt, he made his way to the doors. He turned the knob and was quite surprised that it actually worked. He found himself in a corridor of white leading both ways. What was a chance that he'd choose one of those and manage to leave unnoticed? Probably none, but it was still worth a try. He checked if he had everything on him and started to his left.

Very soon he started recognizing the little details that led him onto where exactly in the world he might be: the southern purity and simplicity, the eastern ornaments. He was getting quite intrigued by the mysterious estate, following its corridors, until he found himself in an inner courtyard. He felt the light scent of blooming oranges and inhaled it deeply. How long has it been since he's seen daylight? He never thought he could crave something that much in his life.

'Welcome, my dear friend,' said a familiar pleasant voice getting his attention immediately. Damn, why haven't I noticed him sooner? 'To the lovely Kamelot mansion in the South of Portugal,' Tyki announced with a broad smile twisting his face. Bookman looked at him impassively, mentally triumphant that he was right in his assumptions. He nodded his head in acknowledgement to the other's words. Noah looked him up and down.

'Road will be disappointed that you declined her fashion advice,' the seemingly human being said with a sly smile. 'And you do seem attached to some of your old stuff,' he noticed.

'I'm attached to being comfortable,' Bookman replied flatly and entered into the courtyard. He sat on the chair indicated by Tyki, opposite to him, and eyed suspiciously the refreshments and snacks lining the table.

'It's not poisoned, you can eat,' his host assured him and took something for himself before continuing. 'So, let's get down to business,' he started sounding business-like. 'I don't believe we have ever had a chance to be introduced properly. My name's Tyki, the Noah of Pleasure.' Bookman tilted his head and considered him for a while. What was he playing at? Well, whatever the game I can play along, no? After all, that's what the Clan does: role playing.

'My name's Aidan the Bookman, pleasure to meet you,' he replied levelly. Noah raised and eyebrow at him, looking slightly amused.

'Pleasure indeed,' he mused and went straight to business.