Toby sighed deeply as he stepped off the plane. The California heat hit him instantaneously and the twins were already groaning about the sun being in their eyes. All the way through security, picking up the rental car and driving from the airport, his mind swirled with ideas and thoughts.

The last time he'd been to visit CJ, Danny was away and they'd ended up getting too drunk and fucking. She'd never spoken of it since and he didn't blame her. He hadn't visited her for almost 2 years as a result, knowing in his mind he'd do it again in a minute if given the slightest opportunity.

Luckily whenever CJ had been to New York, Danny had never left her side. This time she'd practically forced him to come, and since Andi had allowed him the kids for a few weeks, Huck and Molly were finally getting to see California for the first time since they were babies.

Toby stopped the rental car as they approached CJ and Danny's condo; turning to the backseats where Huck and Molly sat. "We're here."

"Dad it's so warm." Molly complained, brushing a dark curl from her face.

"I know, sweetie. Come on. CJ's expecting us." he got out of the car and walked up the driveway, the twins trailing behind.

"Hey guys!" CJ ran out of the front door and hugged Molly. "You're so big!"

"Not as big as you, Aunt CJ." Huck piped up as she hugged him; Toby snorted.

"You're getting your father's wits boy, you better be careful." she glared at Toby.

"You look good." his lips quirked into a slight smile.

"Don't flirt with me, Tobus." she pulled him into a hug. "I've missed you, you big idiot."

"I've missed you too." he breathed in the scent of her hair and realised he was already screwed.

"So where's Danny?" he asked as they stepped into the house.

"In the kitchen finishing up dinner, we figured you wouldn't have touched the airplane food." she smiled. "Hannah's trying to set the table, bless her."

Huck and Molly ran ahead to find Hannah, leaving CJ and Toby pacing slowly behind.


Dinner, for Toby especially, was an awkward experience. They were eating outside for a start; CJ knew he hated the outdoors but had reassured him that the parasol over the table would keep any wayward flies out of his food. To top it off, he and Danny had never seen eye to eye, their mutual love for CJ overshadowing the respect they did in fact hold for each other.

She was the perfect image of a domestic wife and Toby bit down the bile at how comfortable she was in this environment; sharing adoring looks with her husband, fussing over her daughter and the twins, joking with him just like they used to.

"Would you like some lemonade?" CJ asked, snapping him out of a daze. "Danny made it himself."

Toby tried to keep a straight face. "You make your own lemonade?" he asked Danny with feigned interest.

"Yeah. We call it Danny's Homemade Fresh Lemonade." he replied enthusiastically, grinning at CJ.

"Original." Toby quipped, biting the inside of his cheek to refrain from the further sarcastic comments that were itching to spill out.

"It's gorgeous, you need to have some." CJ told him, going into the kitchen and returning with a pitcher.

Toby couldn't fault Danny, it was pretty good lemonade, but it didn't soothe the flow of his irritated thoughts. When did he become the miserable loner who sat around with his best friend while she played happy families and drank lemonade in the California sun, glancing at him with those eyes that said, "appreciate this"?

He was glad the twins were getting along with Hannah, not that he ever needed to worry about them getting along with people. They'd got that from Andi. Conversation moved between a range of topics: they included Josh and Donna's wedding and Sam and Ainsley's new baby, as well as Charlie's big new job as a corporate lawyer.

The conversation continued when they finished dinner and the three children played in the backyard, Hannah happy to welcome the older Huck and Molly. It was pleasant, sure, but a part of him still would always be in disbelief at the way their lives had turned out.


"Hey, why don't I take the kids down to that new ice cream place and you two can catch up properly?" Danny smiled after several minutes of them being inside.

"Oh yeah, sure." CJ replied and watched as Danny went into the backyard to fetch the playing children.

"You know, I still can't believe that you're a mom sometimes." Toby told CJ, sitting down on her couch with his glass of "Danny's Homemade Fresh Lemonade".

"You and me both." She hovered about him, clutching her own glass, when Hannah ran in.

"Mommy we're going for ice cream." She chirped and then turned to face Toby. "Hi Uncle Toby."

"Hey, kid." He smiled warmly and she ran back out.

"She's so adorable." CJ gushed.

"Just like her mom." Toby smirked, taking a sip of lemonade.

CJ didn't get a chance to respond as Danny, Huck, Molly and Hannah walked in.

"We're off." Danny said, kissing CJ on the cheek.

"Be good for Danny, okay kids?" Toby warned to Huck and Molly who nodded and muttered "yeah sure, Dad" in unison.

"Okay, see yas!" Danny called as he headed out with the kids on his heels, the three of them chorusing variations of "bye!" to CJ and Toby.

The pair were left, and CJ sat herself down beside Toby.

"So are you seeing anyone?" she asked perkily.

He began rubbing his beard in agitation. "CJ, you ask me this every time we talk. You'd know I'd tell you if there was anyone, but there's not. I don't have time to date."

"Sure you do, Tobus. Plus you're the hot brooding professor type and what woman can't resist that?" She began tapping the side of her glass with her perfectly manicured nails.

"Yeah?" she turned to face him and he took in the way her sun-kissed curls hung loosely around her shoulders.

"Yeah." She confirmed, kissing him chastely on the lips.


"You really ought to find someone." she told him.

"I don't want to." He replied, leaning in and kissing her again. This time it was soft as their lips met, charged with the taste of sweet lemonade.

"Toby!" she half shouted, half whined, pulling away and slapping him on the knee.

"Yes?" he looked at her with his lips quirked in a way that was dangerously playful.

"We can't." her pathetic attempt to repel him failed. Toby took the glasses from their hands and placed them on the small wicker coffee table. He leaned in towards her again, hands cupping her face as they kissed.

CJ's hands wrapped around him as she felt herself respond to the kiss and the way he moved his hands into her hair. She couldn't remember the last time she kissed someone and it felt like this, Danny was good but this was something completely different. Not even when she'd kissed Toby before had it felt like this.

He moved his mouth to her neck, tongue darting into her collarbone and eliciting a groan from her lips. He kissed the exposed skin of her neck and her suntanned chest. She brought his mouth back to meet hers as she craved his taste, finger lifting his chin tenderly and he met her eyes with ferocious affection, only almost apologetically.

They continued to kiss and she pushed him back against the sofa, straddling his legs and allowing his hands to explore her body.

The energy and passion between them scorched and she began tugging at the bottom of his t-shirt to take it off. They pulled away as he brought it over his head and moved to remove the floaty top she was wearing.

He positively groaned to realise she wasn't wearing a bra underneath the tank top that remained and brushed his fingers against the soft fabric to feel her nipples react to his touch.

CJ pulled the tank top off and allowed Toby to cup her breasts before taking one in his mouth. She threw her head back, moaning as he continued to fondle and tease her.

"Toby?" she muttered as he moved to kiss her neck again and he stopped. The look in her eyes made him think she was going to push him off and kick him out.

She began whispering, "I don't think I can wait," before he stopped her with a kiss and manoeuvred their bodies so that she could unzip his jeans and pull them off his legs with his boxers in a surprisingly swift fashion.

She quickly stood up to remove her shorts and panties before finding her place on his lap again; she sunk down onto his erection with a throaty cry.

They began moving quickly, whimpers and groans filling the room. CJ gripped his shoulders, nails piercing the skin, as his thrusts hit harder and his hands moulded into her hips.

The afternoon sun streamed in through the window, cascading onto CJ's already flushed face. Toby couldn't believe how stunning she looked and felt a brief wave of sadness as their reality kicked in.

"You're beautiful," he murmured against her lips and she moved to kiss him, their mouths pressing hard.

CJ smiled as they pulled away but gasped out his name suddenly as she came. He quickly followed and she collapsed against his chest, struggling for breath.


She climbed off him before nestling between his side and the couch, an arm splayed across his stomach.

"I'm such a bitch." She muttered, resting her head on his shoulder.

"No, you're not." He told her, twirling a strand of her hair around his finger.

"I thought we weren't going to do this again." A statement more than a question.

"I'm sorry." He said half-heartedly.

She knew that tone far too well. "You're not."

"Neither are you." He retorted quietly; she snuggled closer in response as he wrapped an arm around her.

"Danny doesn't deserve it." She whispered.

"I don't care about Danny." Toby said.

"But it's not right." CJ breathed.

"Does it matter?" Toby hated Danny's living guts and he was glad that something in their marriage occasionally led CJ back to him.

"It does if he walks in and sees us naked on the couch, let me up."

He let her out of his arms and swung into a sitting position, watching as she shifted off the couch and pulled on her clothes. He reached to the floor for his own and began doing the same.

CJ took a swig of lemonade and she stood up, fully dressed again. She looked beautiful with her hair slightly messed up and cheeks still glowing and Toby felt his groin tighten all over again.

"Why do you stay with him?" he didn't know if he wanted to know, but it was the one thing playing on his mind.

"He makes god-damn amazing lemonade." She laughed, taking another sip.

"I'm serious." For once he didn't want her coyness.

"Me too." The sadness in her voice caused him to stare, mouth hanging open slightly. "And Hannah."


Toby didn't reply, he didn't know what he could say. What do you say when your best friend, whom you're in love with, tells you her marriage isn't as perfect as it appears?

He'd never been someone to tell her what to do, so he knew he couldn't tell her to leave Danny. He also knew she wouldn't, not anytime soon anyway.

They'd slept together both times he'd visited her in California and it killed him deep down to know it would be all he'd ever have of her. She surely didn't reciprocate his feelings, not anymore.

There was no way he could ever tell her that he was still in love with her, always had been and probably always would be. This situation wasn't something he'd envisaged happening between them, but they were always complicated and dysfunctional and this was just another layer, a new condition of how they relied on each other.

"Let's sit outside, you could use a tan." CJ smirked, breaking the silence and heading into the kitchen to grab more lemonade before opening the patio doors to her garden.

He followed with his mind heavy and his eyes captivated by her ass in those shorts.

"Eyes up, Ziegler." she called, not looking back, and he cursed at how well she could read him.