A LotR Parody. I've only seen the movies, so this is a movie parody. Hope you enjoy and please leave a review.
-Teressa
P.S. I'm sorry.
When Frodo, Bilbo, Gandalf, and whoever else was on that ship reached their destination, they were met with what was probably their worst fear. More war. Chaos. Fire. People yelling.
"What's going on?" An alarmed Frodo asked a woman who was running by.
"It's Sauron!" She quickly replied.
"What do you mean? I killed Sauron four years ago!"
"No, you don't understand! It's Sauron 2.0!"
Frodo's face turned dark. "What."
It wasn't a question. It was a statement. 'What.' Nervous about what he might see, he slowly arched his neck to look up. In the distance, in what must have been Mordor in this continent, there was a huge tower, identical to the one that the Eye of Sauron rested in back in Middle Earth. But then, Frodo saw what he had feared. In the tower, was a huge, fiery…
Nose.
"Oh, crap. What the heck is that?" Bilbo asked.
Frodo swallowed. "I think it's Sauron 2.0."
Bilbo sighed. "Well, I guess back we go then!"
"I like that plan!" Frodo yelled excitedly as he ran back on the ship.
…
When they got back to Middle Earth, they were met with excited greetings from their Hobbit friends.
"What are you guys doing back here?" Pippin asked, hugging Frodo.
"Um…Sauron is over there." Frodo replied sadly.
Sam, Merry, and Pippin stared at the group.
"…What?" Merry eventually asked.
"Well, over there, there's this big tower-"
"Basically," Gandalf cut in. "Over there Sauron has returned as a big fiery nose. And I do not want to be there for the next Sauron, especially if it's something as terrible as a nose." He shuddered.
"Not to be weird, but what's so scary about a nose?" Sam asked.
"Samwise," Gandalf said. "You are far too young to hear such a terrifying tale."
"Right…" Sam replied in a concerned tone. "So what are Aragorn and the rest of the Fellowship gonna' think?"
"Eh." Frodo said. "They'll understand. They saw Sauron while he was here."
"Right…" Merry replied, sounding just as concerned. "But what about over there?"
"Merry, over there isn't my problem." Frodo replied, irritated.
"Right…" Pippin said. "But couldn't Sauron just as easily come back, if he's still alive?"
"Do you people have any happy thoughts?" Frodo yelled.
"Yes, just, we were prisoners while he was here, and we know what that was like." Merry said, pointing to himself and Pippin.
"Yeah, and I had to deal with you the whole trip, Frodo." Sam said.
"Hey, that was-just, nevermind. Let's just go."
Frodo pushed through the other three.
"Someone's grumpy." Merry whispered to Pippin, who nodded in agreement.
…
Once Frodo had calmed down, he started talking to Sam.
"So what now? We got to go tell everyone else in the Fellowship that we're back?" Frodo asked.
"Yeah, I suppose that's what that means." Sam replied.
"Then let's go. Don't want to wait any longer."
…
After telling Aragorn, he stared at them for about two minutes with a puzzled expression.
"So let me get this straight," he eventually said. "Sauron is still alive, and he's chosen to take the form of a huge fiery…nose. And now there's another war over there?"
"Yeah, that's pretty spot-on." Frodo replied, nodding.
"Well man, I'm the king of Gondor, not that place, so I aint' dealing with that crap right now." Aragorn replied, leaving the room and leaving them alone there.
Frodo sighed and looked at Sam. "That was random. Now what? We go find the rest of the Fellowship?"
"Yeah, I suppose. Let's go."
…
Gimli had a slightly different reaction.
"Right, so now you're all back here because of some dumb nose?"
"Well, that 'dumb nose,' is Sauron, still."
"Eh." Gimli replied. "Good to have you back, I guess."
"Uh-huh. Thanks, Gimli."
…
Then they found Legolas, who laughed.
"Yeah, right. That makes so much sense." Then he noticed the seriousness in Frodo's expression. "Wait, you're actually serious? Sauron is actually still alive? And as a…" he hesitated. "Nose?"
"Yep."
"Right…" he slowly replied. "So…why are you telling me this? You beat Sauron last time! You can do it again!" Then he ran away. Oh well.
Then, Frodo went home to live the rest of his days as a grumpy little Hobbit. The end.
