Started and Finished: February 9, 2003
Last Episode Seen Before Writing: Rush
Pairing: Clark/Lana
Rating: PG-13
Category: Romance, Angst
Spoilers: Nicodemus, Rush
Summary: Clark never thought he'd see Lana in his loft, and she'd never planned on going back. Post-episodic for Rush.
Disclaimer: I do not own them!
Author's Note: This is my very first Clana. Let me tell you, it physically hurt to write it…and I have the headache to prove it! But I had to write it to get the damn idea out of my head. To all my loyal fans, my stoning will be held immediately after reading this fic, in front of the Talon. See you there, I have to go take a shower now!
Tired
"Lana!" Clark said in surprise, jumping out of his hammock. "I didn't figure I'd see you up here for a long time."
"I didn't plan on coming up here for a long time," Lana said, letting her eyes trail over the desk, books, couch, and then Clark.
"So, why did you come?" Clark asked, walking a step forward.
Lana brought her head up, locking eyes with Clark. "I'm tired, Clark."
Confusion masked Clark's face. "I don't understand, Lana."
"I'm tired of being angry with you all the time. I'm tired of trying to find the secret to the real Clark Kent. I'm tired of putting up a wall so you can't hurt me again like you did when Chloe was infected. I'm just tired," she answered, her voice full of emotion.
Clark walked to Lana, putting his hands tentatively on her upper arms. "I'm so sorry I hurt you, Lana. I never meant to. You have to believe me when I said that it wasn't me doing those things. It was like I was infected, but I wasn't," Clark said, trying in vain to explain.
Lana sighed, turning her back to Clark. "Like it 'wasn't you' with Jessie?"
"Exactly. I know it sounds unbelievable, and totally-"
"Ridiculous?" Lana asked, turning back around.
"Yes, ridiculous. But it wasn't me. Just like it wasn't you who tried to seduce Lex when you got infected by the Nicodemus," Clark explained, wincing when he realized that Lana never remembered doing that. "I mean, like it wasn't Pete who tried to shoot Lex."
Lana narrowed her hazel eyes. "I tried to…?" she trailed off, pressing her fingers to the bridge of her nose. "I asked him, but he said I didn't do anything," she muttered.
"That doesn't matter now, Lana. I just meant, that's how I was. I never meant to hurt you," Clark said, his eyes showing his complete honesty.
"You never mean to hurt me," Lana pointed out. "You've left me high and dry before."
"To help Chloe when she needed me. Just like I left her at the dance to help you when you needed me," Clark countered.
Lana sighed quietly. "I guess you're right."
"Look, I never would have left her if you hadn't been in danger. I never would have left you in that limo, if I didn't think Chloe was in a life or death situation. I don't do it to hurt either one of you, I do it to help the other. It just ends up hurting the other in the process so the other won't be hurt."
Lana smiled in amusement. "Strangely, that made sense."
When Clark saw Lana smile, his smile brightened. "I'm glad. So, you're not mad?"
"No, I'm not mad," Lana replied, shaking her head. Her silky hair swished around her face.
"Great. Now, about that date we missed," Clark started to say.
Lana silenced him by putting her hand on his arm. "Slow down, Clark. I said I wasn't angry, I didn't say I was ready for another date."
"I think I can live with that," Clark answered with a nod.
"Good," Lana replied, her smile as bright as Clark's.
"I think Mom was making some more pies. Want to go steal a piece?"
"Sure."
Clark led the way out of the loft, down the stairs, and out of the barn. "Want some milk, too?"
"That sounds great," Lana said, slipping her small hand into his larger one as they walked to the house.
Clark glanced down at their hands, squeezing Lana's gently. When she squeezed back he felt his heart start to beat faster. Maybe his chances weren't totally lost.
