It was cold as she sat outside. Water droplets from the grass slowly seeped into her pants and shoes as she sat there. So much had happened since they had left school. Too much if you asked her. Too much darkness and not enough light. They had lost so many people. Mary had been the first of anyone that she was close to. It had felt like a tonne of bricks had fallen on her when she had been told. Sweet, mischievous Mary, it didn't seem possible. Yet so much in this world didn't seem possible but it was. Many more had fallen, to many to keep count. She lived in constant fear for James and their friends.

Yet through all this darkness there had been a continual light in this dark world, James. He shone so brightly sometimes that she felt like hiding him away so nobody else would notice and he wouldn't get hurt. He fought so hard, determined to beat this constant dark force. He wasn't the only one Sirius was rarely away from his side. They fought together, gaining strength from each other. A smile light her sombre face as she remembered a day when Sirius had thrown the biggest tantrum she had ever seen. She had been sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper, seeing constant reminders of people missing and dead, James had been waltzing down the stairs when Sirius had burst in the front door. She had jumped up, pulling her wand at the same time only to find James standing with his wand pointed at Sirius's chest.

"Bloody hell mate" James said sighing irritably "don't do that"

She relaxed lowering her wand and was about to turn back to the newspaper when Sirius exploded.

"He's fucking done it now" he shouted, throwing his hands up in the air, their was a slight crazy look to him that had become more common on his face as things began to get darker and darker.

"Done what" James replied calmly

"Joined the forces" was the sharp, sarcastic reply

"Who" came the calm response

"My baby brother regulus" Sirius said, swinging to face James

"What?" James said frowning "how do you know?"

"Since I faced him across a wand last night" Sirius said

"Are you sure it was him?" James asked

"Yes im sure" Sirius replied angrily "do you think I wouldn't recognise my own brother, I mean I know we aren't that close but I do know what he looks like"

"I know that" James began to reply angrily before lily interrupted

"alright Sirius sit down" she said fixing him with a sharp glare "you too" she said turning her gaze to James "im going to make us some breakfast, then we will talk, then Sirius you are going to take the spare bedroom and sleep because you look terrible" she said frankly

"Good to see you to Lils" Sirius said a small smile breaking through his dark expression

It had been a long day. Sirius had been angry and pron to random outbursts for the rest of the day. Yet they had moved on, slowly but gradually. They had come so far from when they had been at school. They had been so innocent and naive. Although they had been hit with a sharp burst of reality at the first order meeting they had been to.

She jumped as the back door opened and squeaked shut.

"Lils?" James voice floated across to her, she could see him silhouetted against the door, the light creating a slight halo around him.

"Yeah" she replied "im over here"

He glanced her way then began walking towards her. He reached her side and crouched down beside her.

"What are you doing?" he asked snaking an arm around him slim shoulders and pulling her close to him. She breathed him in and relaxed.

"Just thinking" she replied

"That's dangerous" was his teasing reply; she elbowed him softly, and then snuggled closer to him. They sat in silence for a few minutes observing the dark sky above. The stars twinkled innocently back at them.

"Hey" came a shout from the back door "you two better not be shagging out here"

Lily couldn't help but grin at Sirius's comment.

"If we were" James replied "you just ruined the moment"

"Does it look like I care" Sirius replied grinning, as they stood and made their way over to him "come on we just opened the alcohol"