The Weird Sisters Full Biography or Every Band Ever
Dear Reader,
"behind every good band is a bad biography" it says in Earnest McTavish's Wizard Rock Wave (McTavish, Wizard Rock Wave, 1994) and we of Wizard Wireless Network (WWN) thought we'd try a crappy one ourselves and our victims are no less than the most popular wizard rock band ever to date: The Weird Sisters.
The eight-piece group revolving around the Mancunian frontmen Myron Wagtail and Kirley Duke formed in 1984 and originally started out as a trio including Dublin born multi-instrumentalist Donaghan Tremlett. The trio initially went under the name The 1984s, but later dismissed the name in 1988 when they were joined by Herman Witringham (lute), Heathcote Barbary (rhythm guitar) and Gideon Crumb (bag pipes). In an interview frontman Myron Wagtail stated:
"Donaghan was really into classic English literature and all that [insert insult]. He came up with the name because he thought we sounded like a bill at the Three Broomsticks and we needed something more intellectual. He's a [insert insult] genius, you know." (Skeeter, Up and Rising Youngsters to Perform in Hogwarts, 1994)
The group has since published seven LPs and a couple of EPs and Best Of collections under that name. They are the only Wizard Rock band to have remained in the WWN top 40 charts for 45 weeks with their single Do the Hippogriff that earned them worldwide success when they performed a gig at the Hogwarts Yule Ball during the Triwizard Turnament in 1994. Kirley Duke claims this gig to be height of their career:
"I remember Dumbledore approached us at the Quidditch World Cup, where we played a couple of songs and said he would be honoured to have us play at Hogwarts because he really believed we had potential. We'd only just finished writing Do The Hippogriff and tried it on the crowd and we weren't quite sure if we could live up to a gig like that. But we simply had to accept the offer or we would have forever been 'That-Band-That-Almost-Played-At-The-Triwizard-Turnament'. That was the best thing that could have happened to us." (Lovegood, 2005)
The Hogwarts Yule Ball was played in full line-up and with support of Merton Graves, who wasn't a member of the band back then and still a student. He was suggested by the drummer Orsino Thurston, who knew Graves from his time at Hogwarts and thought the "rhythm section [needed] a bit more oomph." (Skeeter, Victory or Defeat?, 1998) Thurston himself had only just entered the band as fresh graduate for the Quidditch World Cup a few months prior.
The Hogwarts gig was followed by the short but successful Do-The-Hippogriff-Tour that ended abruptly in 1996 when Voldemort rose to power again and the band members decided to go into hiding for fear of persecution. "As a public person you have to be very careful", said Orsino Thruston, drummer of the group. "Where my parents and grandparents are from [Zadar, Croatia], they had already seen the war with Gellert Grindelwald and when they saw how things were developing in Britain, they begged me to go into hiding and I alarmed the others." (Skeeter, Victory or Defeat?, 1998)
Exile proved to be an insurmountable challenge to some of the band members and let to the biggest scandal in the band's history, when Myron Wagtail was accused of seducing young girls with Amortentia that he had purchased at Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes. The Weasley twins, however, denied all responsibility in the case and referred to their general terms and conditions instead (a document printed on every toilet paper roll and can be read on every toilet door in their store). "If you'd spent sufficiant time at our lovely lavatory, you would have noticed that it says 'Our products were created for the sole purpose of mischief making and for that purpose only. We do not take responsibility for any dodgy activities.' We, therefore, invite every guest to spend 15 minutes on the bog at our store, " said founder Fred Weasley in an interview with the Daily Prophet (Skeeter, Weasley's Wanking Wheezes, 1996).
The band almost dismembered over the scandals and decided to take a complete hiatus until the "political situation had changed" (Skeeter, Victory or Defeat?, 1998). During that time Wagtail started a short lived solo career that focused more on political issues along with the singles Ghosts of My Vicious Past (Wagtail, Never Mind The War, 1997) that focuses on the death of infamous mass murderer Sirius Black and We Could have Shagged Instead (Wagtail, Never Mind The War, 1997) that was supposedly written about a girl he made out with at the Yule Ball.
It wasn't only until the Battle of Hogwarts in 1998 that the band got back together and decided to record another album.
"None of us could believe what happened at Hogwarts. I mean, this was the place where we all met and where it all started, you know. We were all so devastated and just had to write it all down never mind what happened in the past. We were simply glad this was all over and we'd come out alive, "explained Kirley Duke (Skeeter, Victory or Defeat?, 1998).
Their fourth album Victory (1999) was indeed going to be even bigger than Do the Hippogriff; although, none of their singles lasted particularly long in the single charts, their album still ranks as one of the bestselling Wizard Rock albums in the world. Earnest McTavish once most poignantly described their success as the very essence of the zeitgeist (McTavish, Cool Britannia, 1999) . The Victory-Tour that followed took them five years with 500 locations and is the longest tour to date.
"Guess, it was just what everyone was feeling at that time and we just happened to have made [insert insult] money out of it," remembered Myron Wagtail who's controversial opinions on everyone's darling Harry Potter often let to believe that he was a supporter of Voldemort, which his band members neither confirmed nor denied (Wagtail, Who Do You Think You Are?, 2008). The charismatic Slytherin very much helped to shape the band's appearance with his attitude and style.
"There was a time during Do The Hippogriff when [Myron] really [insert insult]. Suddenly it was all about style and stupid dances on stage, you know. And he didn't give a [insert insult] about music. Donaghan and I tried really hard on stage, but he would only [insert insult] things up for us. Merton was only 16 at that time and [Myron] would still be [insert insult] irresponsible," recalled Kirley Duke (Lovegood, 2005).
Dukes and Wagtails relationship has always been a difficult one. The two frontmen are well known for their controversial opinions and verbal outbursts. That has often lead to violent fights and smashed hotel rooms during their tours. Most notable, when Wagtail set a room on fire at the Leaky Cauldron in London and Duke was arrested for assault and battery that night (Skeeter, Weird Sisters smashing the Leaking Cauldron, 1995).
Up to this day The Weird Sisters remain a highly unusual band with two members of every Hogwarts house in it and occasionally guest musicians from Hogwarts or other magical schools. Most notably séan-nos singer Niamh Flannery who featured on Let The Magic Live On (Tremlett & Flannery, 1999) from Victory. The shy bassist Tremlett is however often cited as the creative master mind on their albums; he and Duke contribute to most of the lyrics and form the cadre of the group, whereas the others like to spend time on other projects as well.
"There are times, when it's just Myron, Donaghan and me with a guitar on stage. You will hardly see the full line-up on stage: it's just too much work; which doesn't mean that we have broken up. You'll still see us all play together, if you show us the money," commented Duke on possible break-up rumours (Duke, 2009).
After the Victory Tour and the release of their 5th album London Town (2005), it seemed for a long time that the band was going to break up. The tour had put great strain on the members and Tremlett complained that he "felt empty and exhausted" and had trouble playing on stage (Lovegood, 2005). Fans complained that the album lacked emotion and dedication and it flopped completely. It was when Tremlett decided to take some time off and he moved back to Dublin with his then-girlfriend Jennifer Dawson to start a family. The couple split up in 2010 after Tremlett had come back for a 6th studio album with his fellow band mates.
Their 6th studio album was called The Last Curtain Call (2009) and focused on their time as a band. The style was overall a bit more mature and not as in-your-face as the previous albums. "We're now all in our 30s and it's about time we grow up, isn't it, " said Tremlett about the album (Tremlet, 2009). The bassist had its first appearance as a singer on the album while Duke and Wagtail stepped down a bit. "I've always been into Muggle music, really. I'm half-and-half, you see, and my mum used to play loads of muggle artists in the house when I was young and that's what influenced my musical style, I reckon. I think that shows well in this album. I'm very proud of it," bragged Tremlet (Tremlet, 2009).
The Last Curtain Call was followed by a few solo shows by the artists, occasional full band shows and other projects like supporting the S.P.E.W. Association that predominantly supports Elfish rights, but also campaigns for the rights of half-breads or magical minorities. Duke has since become an honorary member of the Remus Lupin Honorary Foundation that enables werewolves to pursue a career and Wagtail has founded the R&R Foundation (Remember, Remember Foundation) that collects Hogwarts artefacts from before the Battle of Hogwarts.
With or without full line-up, the Weird Sisters remain one of the most influential bands in Wizarding Britain. Many musicians and celebrities have cited them as a major influence; among them: Ginevra Weasley, senior Editor of the Daily Prophet; Neville Longbottom, war hero and Hogwarts teacher and singer Michael Corner of WeAreTheDefenceLeague (WATDL).
With their 7th album The 1984s coming out in summer 2014 the Wizard Wireless Network would like to celebrate 30 years of band history with this biography.
With best regards,
the WWN
Literature
Duke, K. (2009, September 19). Are The Weird Sisters Breaking Up? (E. McTavish, Interviewer)
Lovegood, X. (2005). Q&A with... Quibbler, 30.
McTavish, E. (1994). Wizard Rock Wave. London: WizardPress.
McTavish, E. (1999, December 31). Cool Britannia. (L. Jordan, Interviewer)
Skeeter, R. (1994). Up and Rising Youngsters to Perform in Hogwarts. Daily Prophet, 11.
Skeeter, R. (1995). Weird Sisters smashing the Leaking Cauldron. Daily Prophet, 2.
Skeeter, R. (1996). Weasley's Wanking Wheezes. Daily Prophet, 2.
Skeeter, R. (1998). Victory or Defeat? Daily Prophet, 11.
Tremlet, D. (2009, October 24). The Last Curtain Call. (L. Jordan, Interviewer)
Tremlett, D., & Flannery, N. (Composers). (1999). Victory. [T. W. Sisters, Performer] Hogwarts, Scottland.
Wagtail, M. (Composer). (1997). Never Mind The War. [M. Wagtail, Performer] Manchester, England.
Wagtail, M. (2008, May 2). Who Do You Think You Are? (G. Weasley, Interviewer)
Author's Note: Hey! You've made it all the way to the bottom of this story and through the citations :P Thank you very much for sticking to it!
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