Disclaimer: If you think I own Harry Potter…
AN: Written for The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition.
Dear Scorpius,
You and I need to have a serious talk. A VERY serious talk. One I've been putting off for some time now, but I really should talk.
Well fine, I'm writing you a letter. It's much safer this way. I'm not a Gryffindor, I'm a Slytherin and when it comes to face to face confrontations, we aren't very good. That and the fact that between you and my dear old cousin, you know some pretty nasty hexes.
Now I've known this since around fifth year, but now you two are starting to get on my nerves. Really. It's like every single witch and wizard at Hogwarts can see it except for you two. It's kind of annoying. And Merlin knows I have tried to let things take their own course, but nothing short of a full blown war or a kick up the backside is going to get you two anywhere at the rate. And while a full blown war would be interesting for the history books, I don't think that dad or anyone else wants one of those. So I'm settling for giving you a kick up the backside. From a safe distance, I'm not some idiotic Gryffindor you know.
You, Scorpius Malfoy, are head over heels in love with my cousin and I suspect that you have been that way ever since you met us for the first time on the Hogwarts Express. Seriously, you two have a chemistry that is hard to miss.
Of course, I only really noticed it when I was in fifth year and puberty actually hit me in earnest. But then again, I was a late starter and surprisingly oblivious for a Slytherin. A side effect of being raised by a family of Gryffindors I suppose. Still, even I noticed how you two were.
You should know that Rose feels EXACTLY the same way about you and yes everyone knows that as well. It's actually pretty amusing watching her eyes glaze over when she talks about you and she talks about you a LOT. As in, enough to drive a young wizard or old to distraction.
Heh, I'm quite a poet, aren't I?
Anyway, I digress.
As for you, you get al gooey-eyed whenever you think no-one can see. We ALL can. Except Rose it seems. Even Uncle Ron noticed and he's hardly the most…subtle of people.
Actually, he isn't subtle at all. I don't think he'll appreciate me writing this letter to you, he thinks you need to work it out on your own. Personally I'm inclined to think that if I don't give you a slight push I'll be a grandfather before anything happens and then I'll have to listen to you two complaining about how you didn't do anything sooner. So on behalf of the grumpy old man I know I'm going to be, I'm going to tell you this now. GET A MOVE ON. Really, old man me is going to have enough problems without listening to you two going on about this.
So I'm sure you understand that I'm really not inclined to give him something more to complain about, so…GET A MOVE ON. (Yes, I know, I've already said this once. I wanted to be sure you got the message, okay?)
I'll make it easier for you in fact. If you don't know how to tell her, I'll arrange for the two of you to go on a blind date. You can tell her how you feel in a nice, relaxed romantic setting, just the two of you. Or I could lock the two of you in a closet until you snog one another senseless. I had considered that one as well. Unfortunately I suspect that my dear cousin would be tempted to curse me into oblivion. And that would not be generally considered pleasant. And I'm pretty sure mum would probably not be happy with me either.
Of course you could all decide to thank me and not do anything, but I prefer to operate from a safe distance. I'm not a Slytherin for nothing after all.
Anyway, now that's out of the way, perhaps you would mind letting me know what you're being so secretive about? I KNOW that you aren't worrying about NEWTS, we already received our results and you DID say that you were a mix of O's and E's. Those are results to be proud of.
Has Uncle Hagrid roped you into looking after something dangerous? It really wouldn't surprise me if he had. He's definitely hiding something after all and I have a hunch that you know exactly what he's doing. You really should learn to say no once in a while, I really don't want to be picking your remains off of the floor one of these days. And I'm pretty sure that having the right number of limbs is a good thing in life. You really shouldn't have told him you liked magical creatures back in first year.
Or maybe you're planning your career and you're too nervous to actually say anything? I know you aren't keen on your parents finding out about what you're doing, but it's not like I'm clueless. And if I can tell you're hiding something then you can bet that your parents probably already know.
Of course, the obvious solution would be that you have a secret girlfriend like my cousin Rose and don't want to be hexed, jinxed and otherwise threatened into behaving yourself. But that's just silly. You are hopeless with girls, I've seen you in action. The chances of you being able to pull something like that off is…unlikely if you ask me.
Anyway, remember what I said about Rose and write back to tell me how it goes. And tell me what you're up to.
Albus
Scorpius Malfoy smiled as he finished reading Albus's latest letter. He looked over the breakfast table to Rose and handed her the letter. She quickly skimmed it and laughed.
"Poor Albus," she said with a smile. "And he's supposed to be the Slytherin one."
"We should tell him about us," Scorpius replied with a grin and Rose leaned forward and kissed him.
"Yeah we should," she said and she grinned even harder. "I can't wait to see the look on his face."
With a laugh, the two of them continued eating breakfast.
