" Well that's just tough isn't it?!" Rose spat as she stormed out of the console room and headed for her own.
The Doctor waited till she had left the room then kicked one of the Interdecorplas pillars to let out his frustration. It hadn't been a very good idea. The pain in his toe was throbbing and he sat down on the two-seater annoyed and in pain.
Rose. How was it possible that she made him so angry, frustrated, and dumbfounded in such a short span of time? It wasn't because he didn't like Rose, no he liked her... well he had to admit it to himself...he liked her quite a lot. It was that she was always so careless, not with his things, or the TARDIS, or time, but with herself. Her fragile human body. Everywhere they went she didn't heed any of his warnings...she jumped right into to a situation that could bring about great physical harm. To himself? No, he didn't care about his own self ( except that Rose , he thought, had taken a liking to this particular form of his)...it was her own. So he had worried about her and maybe even reprimanded her. Was that so bad she had to lose her temper over it?
He skittered down the steps to the room of cables, wires, and plugs below. He arched himself in the crook of his swing tinkering with some underbelly bits of the TARDIS. But he was tired. So tired of watching Rose, no, not watching Rose..he could never get tired of that. But, worrying about her. He knew she could handle herself in any dangerous situation be it aliens, humans, or other..she just could be so brave, too brave sometimes... He decided that sleep would cure his angst. While he hardly needed it he stopped his tinkering heading out to his own bedroom for a few hours of hopefully peaceful shut-eye.
He slowly walked down the hall, passing her door which was firmly shut. Still mad he supposed. He went to his own room. He slipped of his trainers and his tie settling in for a comfortable nap.
But he didn't count on the dreams. He dreams with usually filled with fire, water, hatred, lost civilizations, corrupted Time Lords, and the cries of innocent children. But tonight his nightmares were filled with one thing- Rose. She wanted to go home, she cried and cried never facing the Doctor never answering his questions of confusion and pleading. Then he lost her. In so many ways he lost her time and again. At first she just chose- simply left, another time she was exterminated by a Dalek, she left for Mickey, she met another man, she was held captive on a faraway planet, and finally he watched her as the Cybermen extracted Rose's mind, her beautiful,kind,brilliant mind. And the Doctor yelled with a passion. Then, just like that, the dreams were over. His two hearts were beating so fast and he took deep breathes to calm himself, using the back of his hand to wipe his forehead that had become wet with sweat. He had to see if she was ok.
He hopped out of his bed and bounded down the hall bursting into Rose's room without knocking. Rose sat up, sleepy but frightened.
" What is it? Who's there?"
The Doctor rubbed the back of his neck rather embarrassed. " Um...It's me Rose. The Doctor."
" Doctor?" Rose swallowed thickly, " What's the matter? Everything alright?"
He nodded his head yes. Everything was not alright. " Sorry Rose...I didn't mean to wake you up, It's nothing I just had to make sure, you were, ya know..still here."
" Course I am, I mean I'm not gonna hop this thing in the Time Vortex, I'm not an idiot."
" No..no, I knew that. I just had a nightmare that's all." Rose's eyebrow shot up quizzically, she patted the bed, " tell me about it."
The Doctor felt like he was invading Rose's privacy by getting in her bed, but he was so afraid of losing her. She pulled up the covers scooting over and letting him slip in. They turned on their sides to face each other. It was warm. They lie nose to nose breathing quietly. The Doctor studied Rose's face, she had been crying for sure.
" Go on-" whispered Rose," you can tell me."
The Doctor knew that..he could tell Rose anything.
" Well," said the Doctor," you were gone Rose." He decided to put it plainly.
"Oh, I wasn't there? Did I leave?" asked Rose biting her lip.
" Well, well yes but not just that..others things happened."
" Like?" Rose urged on.
" Just not so good things happened to you on different planets and such." He paused. " And yes, you just plain flat out left me."
Rose let out a little giggle , " Well I guess that last one ain't true. Is it?"
The Doctor swallowed hard," Well that's just it Rose... do you want to leave?, earlier you seemed really angry, and honestly I can't blame you. You aren't a child. I know that. I just want you safe. But I don't want you to leave either, or go away just because.."
Rose laid a finger on his lips silencing his rambling. " I never am gonna leave you. You got that. Not unless you want me to. So I had a bit of a fit today, shouldn't pay attention to me when I'm like that, just tired I am when I act like that."
The Doctor looked at Rose, breathing her in, that scent of honey and soap that felt so fresh. He grabbed her hand from his mouth holding it tight. " I would never leave you" she repeated , breathless. The Doctor loved her. Oh how he loved Rose. He wished he could show it. Show her how much he truly did care for this woman who made everything better. He just stared into her eyes, young and innocent, but bold- and she stared into his old, kind, and so wonderful. They didn't say anything. They didn't need to. They sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity, hands held in a bond that could never be broken. Each thinking about the other. Rose took a deep breath.
" Doctor?"
"Yes Rose?" the Doctor said resting his hand on her shoulder.
" Do you know how wonderful you are?"
The Doctor just stared at her..no words came to his tongue.
" Really? ... I mean it is amazing that you can Time Travel, that your an alien from a different planet, that you have two hearts, and that you have a space ship...but that's not what is special about you." The Doctor swallowed..." What do you mean?" " You're...you're just so...mad. You are never afraid, sailing your little blue box among the stars and the galaxies, helping the crying children of nations you have never known, doing everything you do so brilliantly and not without risk. If you want to know why I take risks, I can tell you, I am not trying to prove my independence. I am trying...to be more like you. Don't look at me like that. You are something to be aspired to. You're not perfect, but who is? I have just never known anyone who was so...selfless and..so...themselves, as you. And... I love you for it."
The Doctor looked nervous and started to speak but Rose stopped his words once again with her finger," Doctor...you don't have to tell me. I know. It is hard on you to love anyone...it will be too painful when the person is gone. But I don't need confirmation.. it is enough for me to love you...don't feel obligated to tell me you love me. You have been so many places and seen so many things...and probably loved so many people. I am just a shop girl you rescued. Do I really deserve the universe and the man who travels it? No. But you took me away. And that alone is fine with me. You are my hero. And honestly...I've never had a hero. You are the first and probably the last man in whom I can put all my trust. You are the best thing that has ever happened to this world. To my world."
The Doctor looked stunned but cleared his throat. " Rose...Rose... I have never met anyone as perfect as, you. You say how wonderful I am but why do you think I do everything I do? It's because of you! Never has anyone made me feel so urgent and happy. Living hundreds of years can leave you wanting for it to be over. But you...you see everything in a different light. From Daleks to planets, everything is new and vibrant in your eyes. You are NOT just a shop girl...you are brave, kind, beautiful and anything a Time Lord like me doesn't deserve. I wouldn't go on if it weren't for you Rose. So... Rose...weather or not it hurts, you deserve to hear it...because it is true and because I can't hold it in any longer. Rose...my Rose... I love you.
And both engaged in a breathless kiss. For this is the way the universe ought to be. Rose and the Doctor in the TARDIS, time and space passing them by in silent respect.
