Dear readers:
First, do not be alarmed by the fact that this is, in fact, a fanfic in the form of a guided meditation. I'm trying something new.
I came up with this idea several months ago as part of a senior project-type thing for my church youth group. I ended up not presenting this particular one, but I figured that had I tweaked it in places, it could have been possible.
My purpose for posting this is that I am truly curious as to how the fanfiction-reading community will respond to it. I'd like to hear your comments. If you actually want to try to meditate to this (I kind of wrote it as a way for a human to experience regeneration), it is currently available on Youtube, read by yours truly.
This is a meditation that presents my view of the process a Time Lord goes through when he or she regenerates. You may choose to treat it as such, which I recommend if you are reading it for the fanfiction element. If you aren't, but actually want to treat it like the healing or transformation meditation it was originally supposed to be, you're welcome to do that to, I look forward to hearing your results.
Enjoy!
It's starting. The first warm wisps of energy flow through you as you close your eyes and allow the darkness to wrap around you, blocking out the fear and pain of mere seconds ago. It's warm and cozy and easy and for the first time in quite a while you feel remarkably comfortable. This level is reverie; it is the place you retreat to each night before sleep when your mind fills with the memories of the day. Today, however, there are no memories. This once, not to have to face them is a blessing. Today reverie is empty of such memories, such feelings.
For a moment you stay here, suspended in the darkness. Your guide instinct, though patient, nudges you deeper. You must go deeper for the process to start. The simple light, the regeneration energy itself is not enough, it needs strength to work properly. This kind of strength comes from deeper. You allow yourself to take the extra step in, and you begin to feel at once the chaos that resides just below the surface of your mind. For a second you fight falling into it. Then you relax again. Your instinct will guide you. The chaos may not be as familiar as reverie, but it is no less important.
As the instinct that pulls you to the center of yourself, you slowly become aware again of your physical body, now numbed by the strands of energy, a blank slate on which you choose what comes next.
The energy begins to seep into the once dark, chaotic space that makes up the deeper mind. Memories begin to form within it. Times experienced in this body, primarily, as well as certain unresolved times from previous bodies. You feel each of them, at first sharp in their original context, some of them nearly excruciating to revisit, but you know you shouldn't fight them. As the energy pulls them up so to does it dissipate their intensity. The energy is healing the memories, allowing you to learn from them without fear of pain. You will need the lessons they afforded you later in life, but life is at least kind. You are free to release the pain.
Some of the memories are happy ones, and they serve to feed the energy, which itself grows in intensity the longer you spend in your mind. Eventually it will reach such a pitch that the healing will go beyond the emotional wounds and become powerful enough to heal the physical ones.
When the last of the memories fade and transform into energy, you reach a tipping point. The energy surges from your mind and bursts forth through your whole being. All you see is light, the regeneration energy coursing through you. It is hot and prickles like static electricity through all the conduits of your body. Like with the memories before, you at first feel the raw discomfort of your physical body, then ease as the energy heals any and all damage. From your vantage point in your inner mind, you see the healing omnipotently. You realize it goes beyond merely healing. You can sense your cells dividing much more rapidly than normal, frantically but methodically healing, every one of them creating new out of old. Fed by the energy, new cells grow and multiply while old ones contribute to fuel for the process of change.
It is an odd feeling for so much of what you once were to suddenly be washed away in a deluge of orange light. Several moments of conflict pass as you struggle to reconcile the old with the new, who you were with who you are, who you are with who you will go on to be. Just as you realize the two cannot coexist, there is a brief jarring sensation, like tugging at a scab and a part of you falls away. A moment of fresh terror nearly overcomes you. Do you want it to go away? What will happen if you let is fall? What if who you are will never live up to who you were? The instinct tells you to let it go. You listen.
But there is a whole new feeling now. A feeling of standing on the edge of something, of taking a plunge forward into an unknown but beautiful horizon. A moment of exhilaration courses through you. A new you. A you that was born mere seconds ago and so at once holds the future like a child contemplating the night sky and the memories of the past like the cherished heirlooms they are.
The outright flood of light fades and yet wispy ribbons stay behind to polish rough edges. Your new body is clumsy and your mind awed and childlike. It will take time to adjust, eighteen hours to fully complete. Your guide instinct continues to stay around residing in your mind until the work is done. Any doubt that remains is unnecessary. You can no longer slip back, it reminds you quietly. You have come so far.
You climb back up to full consciousness and become aware of yourself and your new body. You are a clean slate of promise and opportunity. Your body is pure and unscarred, a new face will greet you when you look in mirror tomorrow. Your mind is open and unburdened, ready for thoughts untarnished by past experiences. Your spirit is wondering and awed, everything is gleaming, original, and brilliant.
As you come back to your surroundings, you retain the feeling of that new you. You are that person now. Let yourself feel the brilliance of the world around you, let it awe you, inspire you, and make you better. Today is a brand new day, and you are just in time to save it.
Thanks for reading!
