It has recently come to my attention that every time Tony and Ziva announce that they're dating, they always give Tony the old don't hurt her speech. That happens in every relationship, the friends of the girl tell the guy to not hurt her. It's a little sexist, girls can hurt guys too. Besides, Ziva is more likely to hurt Tony than vice versa. Even if it is accidental. My take on what would happen if they announced that they were dating.
Disclaimer: Only own the scenario
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Gibbs
Ziva came into work excited and nervous. She and Tony had finally realized their feelings toward the other. They were now going to tell everyone else. Tony grabbed her hand quickly before the elevator doors opened. They sat down to work. After what seemed to Ziva like an eternity, Tony spoke.
"Boss, Ziva and I have something to say"
Gibbs looked at the two of them curiously, "What is, DiNozzo?"
Tony took a deep breath before saying, "Boss, Ziva and I are going out now."
Gibbs raised an eyebrow "Oh you are, are you?"
"Yes and we'll keep it out of the office"
"Damn right you will" Gibbs said before giving them both head slaps. Tony went back to his desk and Gibbs motioned for Ziva to come closer. He whispered in her ear, "Don't hurt him, otherwise things will get ugly." Ziva was confused, why was Gibbs telling her this? Isn't something you usually say to the guy?
McGee
A short while afterward, McGee pulled her aside. He first gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Ziva blushed. She knew they were congratulatory.
"First, I want to say congrats. I'm really happy for you. This is very good."
"Thank you, McGee that really means a lot"
"That being said, be nice to Tony, he needs a good relationship. Don't break his heart. Tony may be a jerk sometimes, but nobody deserves heartbreak."
Ziva was confused. This was the second time today someone had said this. All she could do was nod her head. This was a completely different reaction than what she thought. She thought Tony would be getting death threats all day. My how the tables have turned, she mused. Now all they had to do was survive Ducky's really long stories and Abby's airtight hugs.
Abby
Tony and Ziva went down to Abby's lab during lunch. They told her to turn off her music and sit down. She looked up at them with wide fearful eyes. Ziva chuckled inwardly; she obviously thought something was wrong.
Tony smiled reassuringly before saying "Abby, Ziva and I are going out now"
Abby looked at them for a moment before giving them huge hugs. Tony's lasted longer, Ziva noticed. It was probably because Tony had gone through so much before finding her and realizing what they had. She staggered back from the force of Abby's hug.
After lunch, Ziva was in the middle of some paperwork, when Abby called her. She came down right away. Abby had sounded odd on the phone. Ziva wondered what could be wrong. Abby was in the middle of scanning something when Ziva got there. When she saw Ziva however, her music was shut off and she stopped working.
"Okay, I'm just going to be blunt. Don't hurt Tony, I love him. Strictly in a familial kind of way, but still. It would break my heart to see him get hurt."
"Abby I will not break Tony's heart, I promise" Ziva said, trying to reassure her.
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Ziva. Tony has been through a lot. I don't even think Gibbs knows just how much pain he was in. He finally has a shot at happiness, don't screw this up."
"I won't promise you, but I will at least try"
"Good you should try your hardest"
Abby put the music back on. Just then, her computer beeped. Ziva was no longer there. She went back upstairs.
Ducky
Everyone was going home. It was the end of another workday. Tony asked her if she was coming. She told him not to wait up. She had someone she needed to talk to. She went down to autopsy. Thankfully, he hadn't left yet. She walked in and he turned around and smiled.
"What can I help you with?"
"Ducky, Tony and I are going out now"
"Mmmmm yes, I heard that from Abigail"
"All day people have been telling me not to break Tony's heart. I thought that in relationships, this is what loved ones would tell the man"
"Yes but see, with Tony, it is implied. We know he'd never try to hurt you"
"But why are they telling me this?"
"Because you are unfamiliar to the customs of this country. Especially the way men flirt here. Someone might hit on you and you would not realize. Suddenly, it escalates to something else and Tony just happens to be standing there."
"So they are saying this because of my unfamiliarity with the way American men flirt?"
"In the simplest way, yes. When it comes to men of this country and the pickup lines they use, you can be a little naïve."
Ziva opened her mouth to protest. Ducky raised his hands in a silencing gesture.
"I mean no offense. I am just stating a fact. They aren't giving Tony this speech because they know how long he's been waiting."
"For what, Ducky?"
"For his perfect woman."
Hey. I hope you liked it. I know Tony would probably be given the same speech but Ziva is more likely to. Tony would be trying his hardest not to screw anything up. Click that magical green review button. McGee was the hardest to write for. I wanted him to say it without being too sappy. Let me know how I did.
