Just a quick drabble so it doesn't seem like I've fallen off the face of the earth. Complete crack, or mostly so.
If anyone gets what internet thing this is referencing, you get virtual raw cookie dough points. No, I don't know what those are either.
Disclaimer: I own neither the Harry Potter universe nor... that other thing. You'll know it when you see it, or not.
"Mmm… Remus…" Sirius muttered against his neck. "You're so… god."
"Oh, absolutely," Remus replied breathlessly. "Your way with words is astounding."
Sirius chose not to dignify that with a response, choosing instead to spend a moment lavishing some much-needed attention to Remus's collarbone.
"If you leave a mark…" Remus began in what was meant to be a warning tone but came out more like desperation.
"…you'll be too busy feeling wonderful to care," Sirius completed, looking up at him with a wicked grin.
"I'm so lucky to have you," Remus whispered into Sirius's hair.
"Yes, you are."
"You weren't really supposed to hear that." Remus looked chagrined but didn't really care. Sirius knew full well how effeminately sappy he could be sometimes.
"We are, though. Lucky to have each other." Sirius wrinkled his forehead, or what could be seen of it under his increasingly shaggy hair. "How'd it happen, anyway?"
"I…" Remus breathed into Sirius's shoulder. "I don't really remember."
Sirius half-shrugged, careful not to hit Remus's mouth. "Oh, well. It's not a big deal." He curled into Remus's side and made a happy warm-puppy noise.
Remus sat up. "Yes it is. How did we get together? It's hard to imagine it happening, really. I mean, you're a pureblood womanizer and I'm a bookish, introverted werewolf."
"Well, it did, and I'm very happy about it, so unless you're not…" Sirius trailed off in favor of applying his mouth to better things, like Remus's jaw.
"It's not that I'm not, it's just… why don't we remember? Surely anything this drastically unusual would have had something very dramatic happen for us to get together. I mean, you would have been involved, after all." He paused. "No offense."
Sirius grinned against his stomach. "None taken."
"But I don't see how we could have gotten together. It seems kind of improbable."
"It does strain the bounds of fantasy a bit…" Sirius murmured lazily.
"Fantasy! That's it!" Remus stood up, ignoring Sirius's protesting noises.
"We must be in some kind of temporary fantasy. It's the only explanation!"
Sirius looked horrorstricken. "If it ends—"
"We'll lose each other."
"Oh god."
Sirius stood up violently.
"Well, I'm not going out quietly."
"What?" Remus, even in the midst of his panic, worried about Sirius.
"If I'm going to die anyway, I'm burning the fucking world."
Remus felt himself be caught up in the dark fury in Sirius's darker eyes. "Yes!"
"Come on, nothing's worth anything anymore—"
"Fire! Fire! Cleanse this hellish place—"
Remus sat upright in bed. Dear Padfoot, read the letter confetti in his wastebasket. "might hate me" "love you" "sorry I never could."
"What?" he said frantically to himself. "What was—I don't—"
He glanced at the moonlight on Sirius's four-poster and didn't say anything more.
