I own nothing in the following work.
One gender-cursed martial artist dodged an innumerable amount of attacks from his friends as they spared. Or, that was how one Ranma Saotome decided to term the giant melee around him. The other people involved, loveably called the Nerima Wrecking Crew by the locals, deemed this "spar" to be an attempt to kill/claim the martial artist, depending mostly upon the gender of the person involved. Though, in his short life, Ranma knew the difference between actively attempting to end someone's life and the attacks of his rivals. Ducking under a toiletry, courtesy of one myopic duck, Ranma quickly delivered a nasty cross to Mu Tse's face, stunning the man. Ranma wanted to follow up, but an umbrella thrust from the Lost Boy prevented that attempt. However, Ranma knew this fight would end soon; Akane's anger was about to manifest in a convenient out for the young man, a sky borne tour of Japan. Dropping down and delivering a nasty sweep that downed all but Akane and Ryoga, Ranma gave Akane the opening she needed to send him flying off to the south east. The assembled group opted to simply return to their respective homes as justice had been dealt, or, if you were one of the females, sans Akane, the fiancé was knocked too far away to chase.
Air over Nerima District
'Well at least she got faster with the mallet…though good for me…it's bad for her,' Ranma thought as he flew over the district. 'Honestly though…as much as I enjoy the constant fighting…it doesn't help me improve at all…and if I were to go all out I'd immediately be singled out and it doesn't help that I receive all that shit at home' Ranma wasn't the idiot savant that most in Nerima took him for. It was simply an elaborate ruse design on misdirection and deception. As soon as he was finished with school, though he kept his grades at the lower-range of average, Ranma knew exactly what he was going to do, end this pathetic charade of life. Coming down from his long arc, Ranma flipped around and adjusted his position to allow for a much softer landing. He quickly released an extremely small Moko Takabisha downward to slow his velocity enough to land softly on his reinforced legs. The compressed ki did no damage to the ground and simply dispersed on the cold concrete.
Whistling at the distance he'd have to cover, Ranma considered using that technique, but decided against it. Ranma quickly set off for his home with his fastest speed displayed while in Nerima.
'All things considered I'm extremely glad that finals are tomorrow…then I can get the fuck out of this place…though…I'm still ironing out the details of exactly how I'm going to tell the fathers, fiancées, the bitch, and all the other insane people around here.'
Tendo Home
"I'm home!" Ranma stated as he moved inside his soon to be temporary home.
"Welcome home!" came from the only sympathetic person in the house. Kasumi smiled from the kitchen as the resident embodiment of chaos returned. Noting the lack of greeting as he entered the home, Ranma frowned. 'I usually at least get a grunt from pop.'
Ranma moved into the house, heading for the kitchen, and asked Kasumi, "Hey Kasumi, where's everyone?"
"Oh, Father and Uncle Saotome are sleeping off after a strenuous day. Nabiki and Akane are already asleep as well. You shouldn't be surprised since it's already 10:00. The only reason I'm still up is because I needed to prepare a few things for tomorrow," Kasumi said with a blissful smile on her face.
"What? No way…damn tomboy punted me farther than I though'. Well, I'm gonna go to bed Kasumi. I'll see you in the mornin'." Ranma replied before heading towards his living quarters. 'That's…disturbing that none of them were concerned that I was missing for so long. At least Akane would usually accuse me of doing something perverted…' Ranma narrowed his eyes as he continued up the stairs, 'This doesn't bode well…' However Ranma decided to put off further thought on the subject until the following morning when he could concentrate on the information better. Quietly moving inside his room, because he didn't want to hear his father bitch, Ranma quickly stripped off his Chinese style shirt and pants. He decided to simply lie down and fall asleep as quickly as possible as tomorrow promised to be…interesting.
Following Morning
Ranma awoke a second before the water hit him, but took the splash and reacted in a normal manner-he sprang up with a confused expression on his face.
"Wah? What'dya do that for?" Ranma asked before he was summarily removed from his room by a forceful kick from his idiot father. Luckily Genma had moved the door to the side before kicking his son out into the yard. Rolling with the impact, Ranma quickly leaped back into the air and threw a quick fist towards his fathers face. Genma parried the initial attack but was met with Ranma's right knee to Genma's face. The initial strike was merely a feint for the follow-up. Genma however, didn't seem to be very affected by the strike. It was an understood agreement between the two; they would never strike with full force. While Genma was relieved, as he'd probably be flattened by his son in no time, he nevertheless moved and threw a left hand towards his son's solar plexus, but used his son's dodge to kick off his sons back. He turned in midair and threw a terrific right fist towards his son's face, but Ranma ducked under the punch, and delivered a punch to his father's stomach. The old man took the punch so he could deliver a knee to his opponent's chest. Alas though, gravity decided to re-exert itself onto the floating pair above their customary position. Ranma quickly kicked off his father, and both landed clear of the pond, though it didn't really matter to Ranma as he had already assumed his female form.
Genma came off worse for the midair spar and had to stifle a cough while Ranma looked ready to go another round. Both men sprinted back at each other, Genma opened up with a right palm thrust towards Ranma's left shoulder. Ranma responded by ducking under the thrust just enough to get inside his father's guard and deliver three brutal punches aimed at the man's chest and abdomen. Continuing his combo on his dazed father, Ranma spun around to attack Genma's back, but the portly man fell forward on his hands, and, having successfully dodged the attack, pushed up and attempted to drive his heels into his son's chest. Ranma leaned back, but still received a scrape on his chest for his troubles and grabbed his father's feet. Ranma then threw his father right into the Koi Pond. Genma emerged from the depths as a panda and growled at his son.
"Hah! Havin' a lil' trouble Pops?" Ranma taunted, "Ready fer roun'…"
It was then that they were interrupted by the only thing that could stay the two from their bone breaking course, Kasumi emerged from the kitchen and said "Breakfast is ready." Both men, currently woman and panda, came inside, but Genma was stopped at the door by Kasumi. "Saotome-san, you need to dry off first," and quickly handed the man a towel. Ranma, keeping his mask in place, stuck his tongue out at Genma's luck. However Kasumi also told Ranma to go clothe himself. Realizing he was in nothing more than his sleeping clothes Ranma raced up the stairs and dressed himself in a manner befitting the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken and was back down in his seat before Genma had finished drying off.
"So Ranma, where were you last night?" asked Nabiki. Although the question itself was innocent, the intent was only for chaotic purposes.
Akane immediately jumped on that train of though by suddenly demanding the same thing of her fiancé, "YEAH! Where were you?" Akane's temper was quickly causing her aura to fluctuate.
"Akane, it took me till 10:00 ta get home. You booted me ta the other side of Nerima." Ranma replied quickly while still in masking himself. 'Bitch, I swear she does that just to spite me. There's no cash motive here…'
"That's not what I was asking Ranma, what'd you do in the interim?" Nabiki asked, once again provoking Akane's anger.
Ranma, still hiding his intent and intelligence, asked with a confused expression on his face, "What'd I do in the…interum? Wha's that?"
"She means what were you doing before that, I can't believe that it took you that long to get back here!" Akane yelled.
'I hate her…I really do.' Ranma quickly produced an answer, "Akane, do yah have any idea how far you can hit me? Uncute tomboy!"
"RANMA!" screamed Akane. Nabiki just sat back and smirked at the excellently played situation. She could now bill Ranma for the price of the screen door that was obviously going to be replaced. However her pleasure was cut short when Akane's hammer punted Ranma out the still open back door.
After Ranma flew out the back door he had a smirk on his face that no one saw except the seemingly oblivious Kasumi. She had a confused expression on her face that she quickly hid in front of the family.
The family continued on normally, because this was normal for them. However the airborne martial artist was thanking the gods that this was his final week in this hell and then he could get away and return to his true home. His smirk changed in midair to a genuine smile. He couldn't wait to return, and honestly was anticipating learning new techniques. He'd been away for far too long.
After reaching optimal velocity and height he simply laughed to himself as he fell back to earth. Taking a quick stock of the area he was about to land in, he noticed that he was headed directly for the school's pool. 'And the water magnet part acts up again…' Ranma didn't care AS much about the curse as he pretended. He still hated the water attraction and changing genders was annoying and disorientating, but he didn't really have to worry about it since he was already a she at the moment. Deciding that he should be thankful for Akane's help, Ranma went into the boy's restroom and quickly splashed himself. Finally returned to his birth gender, Ranma headed to his class to take the first of his finals for this week. As these were his last few days in Nerima he decided to drop the façade at least on his tests. Planning on revealing his intelligence on the tests, Ranma hoped to shock the teachers. Moving up stairs Ranma was happy to see the confusion and hope on Kuno's face as he approached Akane. Akane, furious as she was, simply kicked Kuno into a similar orbit as Ranma had just been in. 'Such an annoyance…he simply keeps returning to this school in the vain hope that he can beat me and free the "fierce tigress Akane" and "the pigtailed girl". Honestly I haven't ever taken him seriously…' Ranma's inner monologue was immediately dropped off in favor of entering his classroom, the seniors in his classroom were giving him curious stares and he simply smiled sheepishly while muttering about "uncute tomboys and their mallets". Taking that excuse at face value Ranma simply sat down after grabbing a pencil from Daisuke.
"So Ranma, how'd you get here on time and where's Akane?" Hiroshi asked.
"How should I know where Akane is at?" Ranma answered with a grimace on his face.
"Speak of the devil…" Daisuke said as Akane entered the room while shooting Ranma a glare. Hinako was too involved with chocolate to notice that Akane was nearly late. However that didn't stop her from administering their first final of the day.
It was a somewhat difficult test for most of the class Akane and Ranma were noted exceptions, though no one knew it from the look on Ranma's face. Many expected Ranma to fail, but the man had already memorized most of the words and grammar rules of English. It also helped that he had to learn to speak it when he trained overseas. The test mainly consisted of writing a semi-competent essay in English and doing a few English analogies. Ranma made sure to finish with only a few seconds left, but knew he had a top scoring paper.
They had a small break between now and the next final to eat a quick snack and for the teachers to change classrooms. The classroom was abuzz with the chitter-chatter normally associated with finals, questions of "How'd you do?" and "Man, that was hard". Honestly Ranma inwardly thought it was extremely easy and could've finished it in half the time, but when asked, "How'd you do?" by Daisuke, Ranma responded by turning to his friend and saying "Wha's it matter? I don' need school." Daisuke simply shook his head and accepted his friend's response at face value.
The day pretty much passed in a similar manner and Ranma was extremely glad that he could finally leave. He didn't really care about his grades, but he knew his family might. Though he'd already talked to his mother about his recently plans, his father was still completely oblivious. His mother had whole heartedly affirmed her son's actions and simply wished that he had taken this path much earlier in life. He was shaken from his thoughts by the ring of the death bell and he groaned. Deciding that he'd had enough of this, Ranma did something he hadn't done in the entire time he'd been in Nerima. He dodged the glomp attempt by the amorous Amazon.
Xian Pu landed face first in the dirt but quickly sprang back and attempted to hug her Airen only to meet the earth's gentle embrace yet again. "Airen no like Shampoo?" she asked while jutting her generous bust towards the young male.
Ranma simply admired her bust before saying, "Honestly Shampoo…I don't like you, or your backward village…your body however is quite nice." Before continuing Ranma made mental notice of Mu Tse entering the boundary's of the school and decided to finish his tirade, "If you're ever interested in having some fun, I'm all for it…but if you want me to marry you…You've got a better chance, and I know it's cliché, but Hell freezing over."
Xian Pu frowned as her errant husband displayed an intelligence never before seen by the young man. "Airen get hit on the head again? Shampoo help!"
"ENEMY OF WOMEN!! HOW DARE YOU HURT MY PRECI…" Mu Tse's attack and verbal tirade was quickly silence by Ranma. Ranma had intercepted the short sighted boys attack with a quick combination aimed at knocking the man out for several hours. One chop the back of the neck, a hard knee to the back of the stomach, and a snap kick to the lumbar section of the back. The movement had barely been caught by Xian Pu whose eyes did their best imitation of dinner plates. Ranma simply bent down to the unconscious man and grabbed him by the robe. He moved toward the front of the school, with the duck in tow, and deposited Mu Tse directly in front of the brick walls surrounding the school. Leaning his head to the right, he dodged Xian Pu's mace, and grabbed her arm before delivering a palm strike aimed at her mid-back. She gasped before falling into blissful unconsciousness. Ranma knew that the rest of the Nerima Wrecking Crew would be on their way soon, as was par for the course. He turned toward the school and noticed the dumbfounded looks on the students still remaining in the courtyard. Ranma chuckled inwardly, 'Of course they'd be surprised…I've never dealt with ANY of the fiancées like this.'
"You might want to get out of here; I think the following brawl will be legendary. It'd be best if there were no civilians to get hurt." Ranma addressed the crowd with a bit of melancholy in his voice. And no sooner than he finished speaking to them then the crowd quickly dispersed running to their respective home, except for a Kuonji Ukyo, Tendo Nabiki and Tendo Akane. However Ukyo had been there for the entire performance and had left to get help, leaving Akane and Nabiki to deal with Ranma.
"What's the deal Saotome?"
"Ranma…what's wrong with you?" asked a surprisingly restrained Akane.
Ranma simply laughed, "As if you'd care Nabiki-oban." Turning towards Akane his expression softened, "I've always been like this Akane; I just hid it behind that idiot façade. You can honestly say you never suspected anything? The incredible finesse and intelligence shown on the battle field…the obvious learning curve regarding new techniques…learning the Hiryu Shoten Ha in three days…countering Ryoga's Shi Shi Hokodan with my own improved technique in five days…and you didn't question my stupidity?" Ranma looked away sharply as his father, Tendo Soun, Ryoga, Kuno, Ukyo, Cologne and Happousai arrived on the scene. Ukyo had apparently rallied quite an army to help her. Cologne was extremely easy to get as she was concerned about her great granddaughter.
"Saotome, you'd best watch your…" Nabiki was livid at the insult, but was cut off.
"Sorry ladies," Ranma interrupted while still facing his approaching enemies, "Though Akane I'd suggest you remove the only non-combatant, I'm not sure she can make it home in the following battle." Casting a fleeting glance toward the quickly retreating Akane and Nabiki, Ranma returned his attention to the quickly advancing enemies.
"The curtain is about to fall and the last actor must take his place on the stage," Ranma mumbled before he prepared himself for the inevitable questions.
"Son-in-Law, what is the meaning of this?"
"Ranma, because of you I'VE SEEN HELL! DIE!"
"Where hath you spirited the fire-haired goddess foul sorcerer?"
"Ran-chan, let us help you return to normal."
"Ranma mah boy, change into this silky darling I brought for you!"
"Ranma you marry Akane this instant to make up for your transgressions!"
"Ranma, marry my daughter now!"
Well…most of them came to serve their own purposes, but it didn't matter. They had come to free Ranma of the "evil influence" in their own ways…all of which involved fighting.
Ranma simply smirked at all of them before answering Cologne's question, "Well Elder, I've had enough of hiding, and have decided that this will make a fine welcoming party."
"What brought this on Son-in-Law? And since when have you been this intelligent?" Cologne asked.
"Think about what concluded today and I'll assume you can figure it out. Pertaining to the second question, you honestly didn't question my mask? You didn't think I was an idiot savant did you?" Judging from the dumbfounded look on her face, she did. Ranma quickly let out a heartfelt chuckle. "You did! Oh well, I suppose I should stop holding back as well."
Ranma's eyes suddenly became red and the battle began. Ducking under the leading Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken from the elder, Ranma leaped away from the elder and disabled Soun with a quick and strong punch to the stomach that forced consciousness to leave the man entirely. He couldn't stop because his father faded back into view behind him to attack with Haku Dato Shin Sho; Ranma quickly front flipped over the collapsing form of Soun Tendo and as a result Soun plowed into the unprepared Genma. Happosai attempted to take advantage of Ranma's forward momentum and attacked with a strike from his cane which Ranma barely avoided. Ranma was extremely careful around that pipe aware that one hit could disable his strength. Dodging four spatula shuriken, courtesy of Ukyo, Ranma sprinted towards her, hoping to take her out to lessen the strain on his tactical mind. However he was preempted in this attack by the sudden appearance of Cologne. Moving his momentum to the side, he blocked the strikes coming from her gnarled cane and on one thrust pushed her cane into the ground and leaped over her to get at Ukyo. Ukyo had already unsheathed her giant spatula already unnerved by her fiancé's behavior. She hesitated for a moment and that was all Ranma needed he took her out with a feint knee to the stomach, while spinning on his other foot and delivering his fist to a nerve cluster directly below the neck. Spinning away from the downed woman just in time to avoid a nasty strike from Cologne's staff, Ranma quickly focused his attention back on the three remaining fighters. Genma, Happousai, and Cologne all quickly decided to drop all handicaps in the face of this new ruthless Ranma,
Happousai however had noticed something about his student, "Ranma…it can't be…you can't possibly be an…" His hesitance was quickly noticed by both Genma and Cologne.
"What do you mean Happi?"
"Yes master. What do you mean?"
"Fools…now that I see it up close…" Happousai began to feel something he hadn't felt in a long time, fear. "How can you possess…that! It shouldn't even exist…unless…"
Ranma smirked, "I'm surprised you know of it. And yes, it is what you think it is."
"But how did you come to posses…the Sharingan?"
Ranma laughed at the shock on Cologne's face and the clueless expression on his fathers face. "Do you think I will tell you? Honestly, it's not a highly regarded secret for no reason. Though I am impressed, but I suppose now that you know there's no sense in holding back…" Molding his chakra he quickly created two Kage Bunshin next to him. He then had them attack Happousai and Cologne, hoping to hold them off long enough so that the original could take his father out. His father lapsed into the Umisenken and disappeared to normal vision, but Ranma merely scoffed.
"Father, you might want to try and better this technique." Ranma said a moment before he lashed out with his fist; Genma dropped the technique to dodge the extremely fast punch. Pushed on the defensive within the second, Genma was forced to attempt to move his body as fast as he could, but it was sorely lacking. Ranma slipped in twelve hits to non essential areas, but it still wore the father down. Ranma delivered a snap kick to his father's rib cage before flying through a quick set of handseals. 'Housenka no Jutsu' He fired four fireballs at his father positioning him for a quick snap kick to the back of the head. The fat man quickly fell down and passed out.
Feeling his clone's disperse he knew he only had a few seconds before Cologne and Happousai were on him. He smiled ruefully, 'Well, this'll be a lot of fun…and I don't even have to worry about collateral damage.'
The three tomoe'd Sharingan spun rapidly in Ranma's eyes and got extremely lucky with Cologne. She fell under the hypnosis of the Sharingan, but Happousai somehow knew how to fight someone with the Sharingan.
"I'm impressed Happi…You know how to fight the Sharingan…where'd you learn to do that?" Ranma asked his previous master.
"Years of experience my boy, that's how. But you never answered my question…How did you obtain the legendary Sharingan? I thought it died off years ago."
"Ah…you mean Itachi correct?" Seeing the grandmasters nod Ranma continued, "I was spared by Itachi because he saw great potential in me and apparently in his little brother. That and I was not in the village during the massacre. I suppose I was lucky that my mother was an Uchiha as well…though her bloodline didn't activate."
Ranma created another two clones and sent them towards Happousai while he reached into his backpack and threw four kunai at the still out of it Cologne and tied her up quickly and placed the final string in his mouth and flashed through handsigns before letting a stream of fire fly down the string. 'Ryuuka no Jutsu, I love it…' Ranma was honestly surprised that the elder hadn't fled at this point, but he noticed that she had fortified her body on instinct as the flame raced down the string. She had survived the attack with naught but a mild cover of first degree burns over half her body. That had been sufficient to deal with her, at least for the moment. In this time Happousai had come off none the worse for wear after dispersing the clones.
"Well Happousai, I suppose it's time that we finally finished this eh?" Ranma asked while focusing on the man in front of him
"I suppose so Ranma. I'll show you your place, even if you're an Uchiha! You will give me the respect I deserve!" Happousai replied with an angry expression on his face.
(To Be Continued)
Ending Notes: Honestly, I'd appreciate any feedback as this is my first true attempt at narration. My other two works were more analysis than anything and this involved my first attempt at dialogue. Also, I think this is an original Uchiha Ranma story…I've seen many where he's reborn as an Uchiha and if anyone out there wants to take this idea and run with it, just let me know. Thanks for reading, and don't expect quick updates…I'm lazy.
