A/N - Hi everyone, this isn't going to be a long fic - two to three chapters - but I just wanted to give you something a little different.
I have no clue how this will go down, but hey let's find out together!
I have no idea where this came from, but I hope you enjoy!
I own nothing but the words, the rest is all Kirkman's and AMC's and absolutely no infringement is intended.
(P.s - It's quite dialogue heavy!)
Before Alexandria Michonne had never understood the phrase, 'taking the time to smell the flowers'. It was something she'd heard constantly throughout her life before the turn, it'd plagued her, yet she'd never understood it, because Michonne had never seen the appeal in flowers or taking her time to smell them. She had liked being busy, she'd enjoyed the process of keeping things moving.
It was why she'd enjoyed her career as a lawyer as much as she had. It'd been a fast-paced environment, where she had had to keep up or lose big. She supposed it was why she'd thrived so well when the world had gone to hell too.
But as time passed and her understanding of how quickly the world could turn on itself expanded, the phrase that had previously made her roll her eyes and recoil, suddenly finally began making sense.
Hence why, she was spending her free day sat crossed legged on the pasture near Alexandria's pond, watching as Judith happily slammed her toy blocks into the checked blanket they were both sat on. She watched as Judith discarded her blocks, to instead begin pulling at the daisies that surrounded the edge of the material.
A peaceful smile crossed Michonne's features, as she sat enraptured with the tiny tot, as Judith thrust handfuls of crushed petals into her face.
Smelling the flowers.
Michonne embraced the saying now, loved the sentiment behind it, loved the way the word now wrapped around her in a comforting embrace, instead of the strangling hold of before.
Michonne's eyes lifted from the carefree baby before her to somewhere off into the distance, as she listened to the strong yet subtle tread of footsteps not far behind her.
The time she'd spent 'inside' – behind the walls of Alexandria, away from the 'out there' hadn't dulled her senses or her skills. She didn't tense at the sound of someone approaching her much these days, but she was never anything short of vigilant.
"Hey there, sexy samurai!" Michonne smiled at the corniness of the easy greeting despite herself, rolling her eyes up to meet the larger body coming to sit next to her in front of Judith. "Hey there, sexy samurai's baby."
Judith only looked up just long enough to squint, before going back to tackling her daisies.
The action amused Michonne to no end, as it was how all the 'Grimes' in her household greeted anyone who seemed 'too familiar' around Michonne.
"How are you today, Spencer?" Michonne smiled.
The grin on Spencer's face was as wide as it always seemed to be. "All the better for seeing you."
Michonne chuckled shaking her head, "do you come up with these lines ahead of time, or do they just appear to you, as some form of phantom thought?"
Spencer shrugged, glancing out onto the still water ahead of him. "I think it. I say it." He then glanced back to watch Michonne's subtle smile, before continuing. "We can't all be as well prepared as you counsellor."
Michonne, went back to watching Judith. "You could try."
"Is that what you want? For me to try?" Spencer's voice lowered, and his eyebrow raised so comically high, Michonne let out another chuckle.
She soon frowned, registering his words. "Spencer, we've talked about this."
"What? We're just two innocent friends…innocently flirting."
Michonne eyed him closely for a moment. "It's only innocent…if it lacks intent."
"Woah, Hey! It's not my fault if you can't control yourself. I actually have self-restraint."
"You're ridiculous." Michonne huffed.
"Only with you."
Michonne shook her head. "Liar."
"Ah well. It was worth a shot." Leaning back so his face was to the sun, Spencer decided to be the good boy he promised her he'd be. "So why are you out here?"
"I had the day off, decided to spend it with my girl here. Isn't that right, Judy?" Michonne cooed at a slowly wilting Judith, knowing she would have to take her home soon.
Spencer nodded, "so where's pyscho-husband?"
Michonne snorted before she could catch it. "Stop it. He's not that bad … anymore. And, he's not my husband."
Spencer frowned. "Huh. So, he hasn't made his move yet? That's interesting. I thought he'd be in with you, the second we stopped—"
Michonne cut him off, "we're not like that, I told you. We've never been like that."
"And, like I told you. Just wait. He's plotting. I know it." Spencer smirked met Michonne's withering look.
Michonne rolled her eyes, "your paranoia regarding Rick, is beyond absurd. You know that, right?"
"It's not paranoia, it's my guy-senses. Alpha males can sense when another one is prowling." Spencer announced proudly.
Michonne grinned. "It's cute you consider yourself an alpha male."
Spencer quirked an eyebrow, not enjoying the laughter in her voice. "Cute?"
Shrugging Michonne continued, "yeah, your confidence is adorable."
"You know what? You're just a mean lady with a nice caboose, and I will end this toxic friendship if you don't start being nicer to me." Spencer threw back.
"I'm very nice to you."
"You used to be. Damn! It's the memories that are the hardest part. Well…" Spencer effected a faraway look in his eye.
Michonne cut in again. "Stop it. We agreed we were going to be just friends. No more blurring the lines. Remember?"
"No." Spencer snorted.
"See," Michonne shook her head, "this is why Rick hates you."
Watching Michonne from the corner of his eye, Spencer leaned forward to catch the daisies Judith was losing from her grip as her eyes drooped. "No. this isn't why."
Michonne shifted suddenly feeling slightly awkward. "I—I didn't end things with you to get with Rick, Spence. I stopped because the reason we started wasn't applicable anymore. I didn't know you before, but then I did, and I realised I wanted to be friends with you, get to know you fully, not just—I didn't end things, so the way was free for Rick. I don't want you to think—l"
"Hey-hey, Miche, I'm just messing with you. I'm good with what we are now. We had fun. I mean I had A LOT of fun, but if it's a choice between what we were and who we are? I choose who we are. I'm good being your friend, we both knew what we were. We're friends for life – whatever that means these days." Spencer smiled when he saw the worry fall away from Michonne's features. "But, just so you know, you don't get to dump me when you and Dennis-The-Menace do eventually get together."
Spencer feigned a serious look. "You fight for me, for our friendship. Because he will make an attempt on my life. You know, since I've seen you naked and all."
Michonne tried not to smile, "Rick's not that bad."
Spencer scoffed, "no. He's worse."
Michonne began to shift, as she felt Judith slump – sleep finally catching her. "You could try harder with him, you know? You know, try and be less … antagonising? It would make things a lot smoother for all of us."
Spencer looked affronted. "Hey! You took sex away from me, don't take this too! Allow me some happiness woman."
"Why do you like messing with him so much? Rick doesn't enjoy it."
Spencer finger-gunned at Michonne, before grinning wildly. "Precisely. Every time he sees me around you, and he does that aggressive eye-squint and menacing head tilt indicating the over-urging need he's having to choke me with my own intestines, I swear … it's like I hear angels sing."
"Maybe if you—"
Spencer didn't let her finish. "Sorry buddy. With so little entertainment at the worlds end, I have to find joy somewhere, and well … your closed for business now, so my days have opened up."
Scrunching her face up, Michonne skipped over the subtle shade to his words. "Your ridiculous."
Spencer looked back at her. "Only with you."
"Liar." Michonne smiled.
"Mm," was the only response that came as Spencer tilted his face back to enjoy the sensation of the sun once more.
OoOoOoO
As time passed and the afternoon air grew chillier, Michonne gathered her and Judith things together and invited Spencer back for a night of movies and stale popcorn. When he'd readily agreed, all three of them made their way to the Grimes residence.
After settling Judith down for her nap, and removing the slow-cooked stew she'd left on the fire earlier, Michonne plated up three bowls of it for Carl, Daryl and Rick. She then plated two more for herself and Spencer, before carrying them inside to join him on the sofa.
Just as Spencer was about to dig in, Michonne caught him off guard. "So, what's up with you and the new girl?"
Spencer's movement halted, "who?"
"Don't do that, I can read the pheromones all over you." Michonne smirked.
"Maybe that's 'cause I'm sitting next to you?" Spencer smirked back, but Michonne could read his discomfort and she revelled in it.
"Nah. You're blushing." Michonne poked at his chin, and he swatted her hand away.
When the realisation hit her Michonne gasped and grinned, "oh. Oh my god, you like her! Ooh, you like her a lot. You wanna have her babies."
Spencer's cheeks reddened. "Quit. I barely know, Kara."
"Oh, her names 'Kara', huh?"
"Stop laughin'" Spencer growled,
And Michonne fought valiantly to hold back her amusement. "I'm not, it's cute. It's good to know I didn't ruin you for every other woman left in the world."
Spencer smirked, "I wouldn't say that…"
Michonne narrowed her eyes. "Oh, stop. You know diversion doesn't work on me."
Spencer sighed, "you know? I miss having guy friends. Hanging with them was so much easier."
Michonne poke him in the shoulder, "am I being mean, again?"
"Yes." Spencer pouted.
"Okay, I'm sorry. Truly. I'll stop talking about you and your love for 'Kara'" Michonne couldn't resist sing-songing Kara's name.
"That's it I'm going home. I don't need this crap!" Spencer handed his bowl back to Michonne, but not before taking a massive, final mouthful.
Michonne stopped him before he could really move anywhere. "Okay. Alright. That was the last one. Promise."
Just then they heard the front door, and both turned to see Rick and Carl coming into the house carrying a heavy looking cot-to-starter-bed assembly pack.
As soon as Rick looked up and spotted Spencer he sighed, causing Spencer to grin.
"Hey Rick!" Spencer sighed dreamily.
Rick stared at him solidly for a minute, before flicking his eyes to Michonne. "Why's he in my house?"
Michonne frowned, "your house?"
"Our house." Rick amended quickly. "What's he doing in our house?"
Spencer answered for her. "We're having movie night! Wanna join us Rick? Me and Michonne could squeeze up a little more."
Rick's jaw flexed, "Michonne?"
"It's like he said, it's our movie night." Michonne shrugged.
Now it was Rick's turn to frown, "you're still doing that? I thought you guys broke up?"
Michonne breathed deeply, already tired of the back and forth that was to come, "we're friends, Rick. Just two friends watching a couple movies. Join us?"
"Nah. I'm good." Rick's answer was out of his mouth before she'd finished talking.
"Come on, Rick … please."
Rick's eyes flickered to Spencer's before settling back on Michonne's, when they did they were soft and gentle in a way they only ever were with Michonne. "Alright. Lemme' just clean up some."
"Thank you." Michonne gave him a small smile, before frowning at Spencer's smirk.
Rick glanced over to Spencer too, before he leaving the room with a lack lustre. "Yeah."
OoOoOoO
After Rick had retreated up the stairs, Spencer let his antagonising ways rest, turning to genuinely greet Carl. "Hey Carl, how's it going?"
"Spencer. You're here. Again." The monotone lilt to Carl's tone made Spencer chuckle.
"Carl." Michonne warned.
Carl shrugged, unrepentantly. "What? It was just an observation."
Michonne sighed, exhausted with having to do this dance again. "How do we treat guests in this house?"
Carl sighed, but muttered 'nicely.'
"with…" Michonne prompted.
"…with the politeness we wish to receive." Carl gritted.
"Right. So?" Michonne edged.
Carl closed his eyes, trying to channel patience in a way that secretly amused Michonne, as it was the same technique Rick used when talking to the Alexandrians. "Sorry if I was impolite, Spencer. I shouldn't point out the fact you're here more than I am."
"Carl." Michonne reprimanded, and Carl knew he was pushing it.
"Okay, jeez! Spencer knows I'm joking. Right Spencer?" Carl squinted at Spencer, telling him not-so-subtly to answer correctly.
Spencer in return simply smiled. "Sure. He and his dad have the same humour – spiteful and cruel."
Carl nodded, "exactly. Can I go now? I'd rather skip the movie."
Michonne sighed. "Sure. There's a bowl in the oven."
"Cool. Thanks." Carl smiled briefly at Michonne before cutting his eyes to Spencer, slowly walking away.
Spencer turned to Michonne, "this house is so warm. It's like Christmas or a hug.".
Michonne chuckled, "Carl's only snippy 'cause he's hungry."
"and Rick?" Spencer quipped.
"Oh, he just doesn't like you." Michonne exhaled.
OoOoOoO
On his way back downstairs, after he'd cleaned himself up and checked in on Judith, Rick passed Carl as he was heading upstairs with with what was clearly his dinner. Rick's stomach rumbled as he got a whiff of Carl's bowl. "That's smells good."
Carl curved his bowl from Rick's view, "your bowl's in the oven. Use the cloth on the side, I almost burned myself again."
Rick shook his head and chuckled, "every night."
Carl shrugged, "I'm a slow learner."
"You're something, alright." Rick snorted as he continued down.
OoOoOoO
After going to the kitchen and collecting his bowl, Rick made his way into the sitting room and placed himself in the armchair by the window, a seat with a perfect view of the couch Spencer and Michonne were seated on.
Spencer caught on to his tactic easily, "there's space over here Rick, Michonne can budge up if needs be."
"I'm good." Rick squinted back, he then offered a begrudging 'thank you' when he saw the look of disapproval of Michonne's face.
"Sure, you are." Spencer hummed.
Sensing the tension, Michonne tried to distract the two of men before they could come to blows. "Okay, what's the choice? Matrix one or Matrix Three?"
Spencer looked at Rick before he turned to the two DVD cases being held up by Michonne. "The one that comes first is always the best? Don't you think Rick?"
Rick didn't miss a beat. "Depends. Sometimes the sequel exceeds its predecessor."
"So…one then?" Michonne cut in before Spencer could respond.
"Yeah." Both men answered as Michonne moved to pop disk into the drive.
Once Michonne settled back down on the sofa, Spencer stretched his arm along the back of it, Michonne caught the move and threw him a warning look, but she chose to let it go so not to start another bantering session. Rick however, was not so amenable and privately he swore to himself as he watched Spencer's arm lean dangerously close to Michonne's shoulder, that if Spencer's pinkie finger even grazed her, he was going to chop Spencer's entire arm off. Fully prepared to encounter Michonne's wrath.
He believed it would have been be worth it.
OoOoOoO
The movie despite its tension-filled start, progressed smoothly. Spencer eventually abandoned his plot to antagonise Rick any further, Rick abandoned his silent vigil over Spencer's wondering hands, and Michonne abandoned the rigid posture she'd retained, in case she'd needed to dive in to diffuse any of the testosterone fuelled angst that had steadily infused into the room.
Once the movie ended Spencer stretched and stated he needed to go, as he had watch early the next morning. Michonne understood and began scraping what little that had remained from dinner in into a Tupperware box for Spencer to eat before his shift and Rick resented every spoonful he watched Michonne box up, but was also grateful to be rid of his house's intruder once more, so he accepted it as a lesser evil.
On his way out, Spencer gripped Rick's shoulder, and thanked him for a lovely evening. He grinned at the way Rick watched the hand he'd been fantasising about cutting off. Rick tilted his head back to Spencer's face and squinted for a long moment, before gritting out a begrudging 'bye Monroe' moving towards the sink to be out of punching range.
Spencer pressed a kiss to Michonne's forehead as he left, he chuckled at the sound of dishes dropping heavily onto the kitchen's counter behind him. Michonne smiled too before conspiratorially whispering 'say hi to Kara for me.' Spencer's smirk dropped, and he huffed 'shut up' at her before he began off to make his way home.
Michonne returned back to the kitchen where she found an agitated Rick.
"I'm glad he's gone." Rick muttered from his place by the sink.
Michonne snorted, "really? I would never have guessed."
Rick idly moved their bowls around and Michonne could tell he was holding onto something. "I thought after you two ended things, I'd be free of that lanky piss stain, but he seems to be here now more than ever."
"We're friends, Rick." Michonne sighed, the conversation exhausted her instantly.
Rick let out an irritated breath, as spoke before he meant to, "yeah, well I wish ya'll wasn't"
Michonne looked away from Rick's irritated fussing, "it gets lonely not having friends that I don't consider my family. Sometimes I just want to laugh about stupid things, that don't have to be tied up in story where we narrowly avoided death. Spencer's a good guy. He's a good friend. I stopped what we were doing because I wanted to preserve that for as long as I could."
Rick let out a whine that was reminiscent of Carl and Michonne almost laughed. "But he's annoying. He purposely goads me into wanting to kill him."
Michonne shook her head, "no. He needles you, but you'd wanna kill him either way."
Rick tried to hold back a smirk, "I'm not that bad anymore."
Michonne nodded, "there's been improvement. I'll give you that."
There was a beat of silence, until out of nowhere Rick broke it. "Why him?"
Michonne looked up, surprised by his question. "He's the only one I got to know, other than Arron and Deanna."
Rick nodded and waved his hand, as if to move the conversation along, "yeah. Yeah sure. But…why him."
"Rick …" Michonne frowned.
Rick groaned, and rushed his hands through his hair relaying his agitation. "No. I know. I know. It's none of my business. I have no right to be askin' your business and I've tried real hard not to. I have no place in your business, but…I. I…can't help but feel like it should be my business. It should be my place."
"He saw me." Michonne whispered. "He saw me and he wanted to. He didn't stare at me and then look away when I caught him. He didn't allude to wanting something more from me and then just leave me hanging. He followed through. He allowed me in. Spencer embraced me. I didn't have to fight to know I was wanted. I guess after trying to survive, I wanted that. I allowed myself to have that."
Michonne moved to sit on the nearby stool, knowing that this was likely going to be a lengthy conversation. "I missed my life before here. The life where I was carefree and always buzzing around. I was fun. I…used to be fun. I forgot that person when the world turned bad. I put her away in a box and then I never looked back, but then we found this place and the world was still sort of here. Still spinning, and after we lost what we lost. It was refreshing to breathe again. Spencer flirts. That's just his thing, it's light and fun and it's harmless. I wanted to experience that. He gave me that. Gives. He gives me that."
Rick nodded, and let out a deep breathe. "So you wanna be with him?"
Michonne shook her head again. "No, and he doesn't want to be with me either. He just thinks it's funny to pretend he does, because it's fun to pretend that there's something more than just death and survival these days. We played well together, we just changed the game a little. I didn't want to lose him, once I realised that he was someone who actually made my life a little happier, like Maggie or Carl. Or you and Daryl. I'm not in love with him. I don't want to marry him or have his babies. I just want him to be in my life and add to the happiness we're building here. Doesn't any of that make any sense?"
Rick watched her with thoughtful eyes, "yeah. Sorta. Yeah."
"Isn't that what you have with Jessie?" Michonne tapped him with her foot.
Rick looked away, "no. no it's not."
Michonne's brows furrowed, "then what are you doing?"
Rick sighed and shook his head, "nothing."
"Oh. So, I give you all of that and you still give me 'nothing?' Okay." Michonne sighed and stood to leave.
For some reason, her words and the sight of her walking away from him, angered him. "What do you mean? 'Still give you nothing?' I give you everythan'! Everythan' we have here, we have because I wanted it for you!"
Michonne turned at the speed of light to stare him down, with fire in her eyes. "Don't! Don't you dare throw things in my face! We wouldn't have survived out there much longer. At least not as who we were. I didn't want that for us and I won't apologise for it. I was right!"
"I'm not saying you weren't—I'm simply—look." Rick took a breath, "look, all I'm saying is that I give you everythan' I'm capable of Michonne. I give you everythan' I can." He gritted.
Michonne moved to rest her hands on their kitchen island, "and I'm grateful. I am. Truly. But … what more can I say or give?"
Rick frowned. "I don't want your gratitude, Michonne. That's not what I'm askin' for here."
Michonne turned to him, as she felt him move closer to her side. "Then what is it you want? Because you're confusing the situation here, Rick. What's your problem? Because I explained my situation with Spencer. He's my friend and he's staying so. I won't drop him because you don't care for him."
"I'm not askin' you to, dammit Michonne! Just—"
Michonne continued, "look … you obviously don't want to talk and you're always so deliberately evasive about the Andersons-it's like you don't trust-." Michonne stopped herself. "You know what I'm tired, so I'm going to call it a night."
But Rick, didn't want them to end their night like this. "I'm not being evasive," he called out.
Michonne quirked a look at him, "sure you're not."
The tone was so similar to Spencer's it grated him.
"I'm not. I don't have what you have with Spencer, with Jessie. We're not—there and I'm not all that sure I want us to be. I thought I did, but then I didn't and then I just withdrew. I'm not lyin' to you, Michonne. I have nothin' with her. Nothin' but expectations and inevitable disappointment."
Rick rested his forehead on Michonne's shoulder as he spoke, ashamed to admit what he was about to. "I was like you. I missed my old life, I thought I saw the answer in her, but … I was wrong. So wrong. And now … I'm stuck. I'm stuck in a situation I made and, I missed my shot—I woke up too late and now…I'm just … stuck. I give you everythan' I'm capable of givin' you Michonne. Trust that even if you don't trust me." Rick whispered the last parts of his sentence.
Michonne didn't want to break his flow, but she'd been confused by him so much of late, needed to understand him again. "Why haven't you said anything? About Jessie? I could have helped."
Rick pulled back to look at her, "helped? Help me what? Disappoint her? Let her down? I don't think so. How would that conversation have gone, huh?"
"I don't know." Michonne sighed.
"Yeah. Well. Me either." Rick moved to step out of Michonne personal space.
"I'm sorry." Michonne said, simply for something to say.
"No. no, this was all me and I know it. It's why I hate—" Rick sighed. "I'm glad you found a friend Michonne. You deserve to smile. To have fun. Hell, we all do. I'm just sorry, you couldn't find that happiness with me."
Michonne rested her hand over his on the counter next to them. "I am happy here, Rick. But it's just a different type. I'm settled with the little family we've made together. I love it. I'm happy. No one can challenge that, but you don't get to be my only source of happiness. It wouldn't be healthy, and neither one of us wants to be that co-dependent surely?"
Rick remained quiet. Not looking at the woman in front of him. He simply gazed down at the surface – at their hands – on the counter in front of them.
Rick didn't want to talk anymore, he decided it was time to pull back again, to hold back on everything he'd been meaning to say. "We should go to bed. It's late. You're tired. We should sleep."
Michonne could see him shutting down, but she couldn't understand why. "Rick …"
Rick avoided looking at her, "let's just … get some sleep. Yeah? Let's just come back to things tomorrow."
Michonne sighed, "sure we will. Goodnight, Rick."
Rick nodded not looking at her before for he whispered, "Yeah. Goodnight Michonne."
Thanks for reading! Chapter 2 will be out soon!
Naomi x
