Disclaimer: I, Artsysmiles, have not been able to discover the meaning of me not owning Naruto. Please help me discover the answer to that baffling mystery! That is all.
Okay. This story is kinda a sequel to Now THAT'S a Break Up. Key word: KINDA. It has the same wacky idea, but has almost nothing to do with the previously mantioned story, other than the fact that they have a similar title and are written by me. So, enjoy, and reviews are welcomed!
Sasuke strode down the street in all his manliness glory, infamous smirk in place. He was humming a couple bars from the song 'Pretty Fly (For A White Guy). He considered it his own personal theme song.
"Because whenever I come on the scene, Pretty Fly (For A White Guy) plays," he had explained to his girlfriend of two months, Sakura.
"Fine," she had replied. "But then my theme song is Maneater by Nelly Furtado." Sasuke had agreed, and the two had personal theme songs.
They had gotten back together dispite Sasuke's infidelity, and Sakura's rumored affair with Gaara; there was never any proof, but Sasuke had noticed alot more...physical contact the last time the kazekage was in Konoha.
But still, the two were together, and in almost everyone's opinion were the 'IT' couple.
And that brings us back to where we were, with Sasuke strolling down the street, fingering the small silver band in his pocket. Today was the day he was going to propose to Sakura. Truth be told, he wasn't only proposing becuase he loved the psycho woman-manipulating him like that! The nerve!-but also becuase the Uchiha compound got so damn quiet whenever he was there alone.
It also got lonely.
And sad.
And became the best place for numerous amounts of Sasuke bonding with his guy friends over the Bachelorette: Season 7.
Not that he didn't like male bonding over the Bachelorette. It's just Sakura had been the winner of season 7. To Deidara when he was alive. And that little fact that they were engaged for a while ticked him off. But only enough to never watch season 7 again.
"And that's why I'm proposing," Sasuke said to himself quietly.
"TEME?? YOU'RE PROPOSING?" shouted Naruto. Obviously, hanging out with very loud people has not been good to him over the years.
Heads turned.
Lighting flashed.
Thunder boomed.
Tsunade won her poker match.
And.
Worst.
Of.
All.
Somewhere in the distance, a broken hearted sannin cried.
"Yes! Now keep it down! I would prefer it if Sakura didn't know yet," hissed Sasuke, clamping his hand firmly over Naruto's mouth. Smiling, Naruto nodded, signaling that he understood, and in almost silence, the two marched over to Sakura's where the ring would be presented.
"So, Sasuke-teme, you finally decided to get lucky, eh?" hinted Naruto as he elbowed Sasuke in the stomach.
"Dobe, I'm always lucky," he said, smirking.
Jaws dropped.
Lightning flashed.
Thunder boomed.
Tsunade won at the slots.
And.
Worst.
Of.
All.
Somewhere in the distance, a broken hearted sannin's minion cried.
"Wow." That was just about all Naruto could say. "Wow."
"Hn."
"So?"
"Whadya mean, 'So?'?"
"So, how are you going to ask her?" asked Naruto.
"You'll see," said Sasuke. Naruto frowned, upset at not being able to know how his best friend was going to ask his other best friend to marry him.
"Fine. Don't tell me," spat the blonde. A pause. Then, "Can I at least see the ring?" Sasuke shrugged and fished the tiny band of silver out of his pocket, carefully handing it over to Naruto. The blonde frowned as he examined the piece of jewlery. "God Sasuke. I never knew you were one to be stingy."
"WHAT?" yelled Sasuke, obviously shocked by the astounding relevation. "I am NOT stingy. She's a ninja. A rock any bigger and she basically would have a target strapped to her back saying 'Come and fight me! I have somebody that I care about and guess what? You can use them against me!'" Naruto shrugged, skeptic that the whole thing would be ok.
"Sure. But compared to Sakura's birthday present you gave her last year, this is going to seem awfully small," sang Naruto. He returned the ring, smiling, his eyes laughing at Sasuke's sudden discomfort.
"I gave her a pony, diamond studded bracelet, and a golden necklace! I spent all of your life savings on it! Shit. I am so screwed," whispered Sasuke.
"See. I knew you wou-YOU SPENT MY LIFE SAVINGS?!" bellowed Naruto. Sasuke nodded, fearful of Sakura's impending wrath.
"Dobe," began Sasuke, his face paling by the second, "I need you to help me pick out a ring she'll love. I can't lose again." Naruto hesitated, but then agreed.
"Hell. No."
"Please?"
"No way I am buying that."
"You know Sakura will love it!"
"Yeah. But my wallet sure as hell won't."
"Huh. I wonder what Sakura did to end up with such a stiff like you. I mean, Gaara always gives her lots of presents. And jewlery. Oh! And I can't forget the gift she got at her sixteenth birthday!"
"How much for the diamond ring?"
"Sir, you don't want that tiny thing! Here! Blood diamonds are all the rage back in Suna!"
"Yeah teme! It matches Itachi's eyes!"
"...Do you have anything in blue?"
"But I thought red was your favorite color?"
"It was, until you said that diamond looked like Itachi's eyes."
"Oh. But Itachi has beautiful eyes."
"Shut up. We already know he has beautiful eyes."
"We just got in a special shipment of blue King Leo diamonds, straight from Mist. Go on. Take a look. And yes, Itachi's eyes beat all."
"ENOUGH ALREADY!"
"That one! I want that one!"
"Dobe, you aren't getting a ring."
"Hmph."
"I'll take that tiny blue one. The one in the corner."
"Sold."
"...Cheap, teme. Real cheap."
"How is 7,004,956 cheap?!"
"I meant cheap that you go for the smallest blue diamond ring. Heck, even Neji got a bigger rock than that!"
"I hate you."
"So, teme," asked Naruto. "Now will you tell me how you're going to ask her? Here, you can practice on me! I'll be Sakura, and you can be you."
"I swear, you are so stupid sometimes," commented Sasuke. Naruto frowned, mumbling something about insensitive bastards.
"Just ask me to marry you already!" he exclaimed.
"Fine." He took the ring out of his pocket, placed it on Naruto's finger and stood up. "Sakura," he began, looking straight into Naruto's cerulean blue eyes, "we're getting married." Naruto's jaw dropped.
"My GOD! HOW DID YOU EVER GET LAID WITH THAT ATTITTUDE?!" Naruto yelled, confusion evident on his shocked face. Sasuke's left eye started twitching; Naruto was here to help him, not judge his romantic skills.
"What? It's short, sweet, and to the point," stated Sasuke.
"Oh yeah. But where's the sweet? Sasuke, you be Sakura, and I'll be you," said Naruto. He yanked the ring off of his finger and knelt down on one knee.
"Shut up. I am not marrying you," Sasuke stated bluntly. "And why can't I play myself?"
"I never said anything! And it's because you have no romantic skills, or jewlery picking out skills, or even normal hair!" exclaimed Naruto. Again Sasuke's eye twitched, but he remained silent. Naruto knelt down on one knee again, took the ring out and gently grabbed Sasuke's hand.
"Sakura," he said, sounding very much like Sasuke himself, "I would be honored if you would grace my horrible excuse for a life and marry me. I know I could never give you what you want, like the oh so devilishly handsome Naruto-" another twitch "but I love you. So please, will you be my bride?"
CRASH!
"Oh. My. God," said a dumbstruck Sakura. She was standing in the door to Sasuke'sher own house, totally shocked. "I knew you had something to tell me...but I never expected...THIS!"
Sasuke paled and snatched the ring back while Naruto suddenly felt unsafe.
"I cannot believe you, Sasuke! First, you cheat on me with my best frined! Then, I find you getting engaged to NARUTO?? Please, tell me what is wrong with this picture?" Sasuke released a breath he didn't know he had been holding; she just though he was gay.
"I mean, you should tell your own girlfriend if you're going to become gay and marry your best friend!"
"What a relief," he breathed out. "Sakura, the ring is for you."
"Yeah, but it's real cheap," interrupted Naruto.
"Wait a minute," she said, stabilizing her breathing. "You," she pointed at Sasuke, "are going to ask me to marry you." A nod. "And you," now her finger moved to Naruto, "were helping him rehearse?" Another nod. "Oh. That's ok then."
"So then, Sakura," said Sasuke as he bent down on one knee, "will you marry me?" He slipped the blue ring onto her finger as she said yes and kissed him. There was alot of tounge, hands, and other...obscenities.
Naruto fainted.
Lightning flashed.
Thunder boomed.
Tsunade won the lottery, and went to Sake Drinkers Anonymous.
And.
Worst.
Of.
All.
Somewhere in the distance, a broken hearted sannin and his minion cried.
"Hey," said Sakura after a moments silence. "What did Naruto mean about the ring being cheap?"
END! I hope you all like this oneshot as much as Now THAT'S a Break Up. It would mean so much if you reviewed my story! ...And it will help stop world hunger. So, review!
