The Trick is to Keep Breathing

disclaimer- no i don't own harry potter, they belong to JK Rowling, blah blah, i dont
make a penny, please dont sue.

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You know, Sirius..." James looked up from his Divination homework. "Is it just my
excrutiatingly poor eyesight, or did i see you eyeing up Remus' friend just now?"

Sirius raised an inquisitive eyebrow, "Oh but of course." He gave James a quick nudge,
"If you weren't so Lily obsessed, you've gotta admit she's a... uh..."

James glared at Sirius, and flicked his eyes westward, Sirius followed his line of sight.
The girl in question was strolling past with an enraptured Remus Lupin grinning stupidly.

"Score one for Moony." James muttered

"Lucky litle git," Sirius grinned, "Always turns the charm on for the ladies."

James almost choked, "And you're telling me you don't?"

"Not always... Lily for instance... i wouldn't even dream of it..." Sirius tried to think of
another girl, and sadly found none.

"Hi." Remus looking slightly flushed sat down in an empty chair in between Sirius and James.

"Well?" James and Sirius said in chorus.

"Well what?" Remus looked slightly amused. "I've got me a date."

Sirius immediatedly burst into floods of mock tears... "Moony, how could you... i thought we
were engaged!"

"Jade Almasy... who would have thought." James said thoughtfully above Sirius' hysterical sobs.

Remus suddenly let out a very bark-like laugh, "No, you misunderstand, not Jade."

Sirius sat up from his hysterics with amazing speed, "You're NOT dating Jade?"

"No, i'm not." Remus looked slightly puzzled

"OOOOOOOOOOhhohohoooo yes." Sirius shot out of the chair and scrambled through the portrait hole.

"What's up with..."

"Don't ask," James sighed, "So.. who?"

"You'll see." Remus smiled almost mysteriously.

"Okay.... who's friends with Jade and likes you more than is good for her.." James asked himself
"Arianwen! You little... I would have said sly old fox, but that wouldn't really be sticking to
the truth here..."

"She's in hospital wing after Severus hexed her in potions, apparently she made his cauldron
explode and it covered him in a rather disgustingly sticky shrinking solution. Jade just
gave me a quick update... she's okay, just slightly angry."

"I bet." James grinned mischeviously- "Payback for Mooney's girfriend?"

"Oh, definitely."
****




Sirius walked into the Library with a definite swagger "Hi." Sirius grinned at Jade

"Hi." Jade didn't even look up from her Muggle Studies homework.

"Electricity, huh?" Sirius perched on the table, "Heavy stuff."

Jade looked up at him. "You're sitting on my parchment."

"I know."

"I need to write on it."

"No you don't"

"I do."

"You don't."

"Sirius!" Jade stood up, "Don't you have some girl to make out with?"

"Uhm, no not really." Sirius got the not-so-subtle hint. "I'll just.. ah.. leave, okay?"

"Yes."

Sirius sloped back into the Gryffindor common room and disappeared up into the dormitory. Seeing
Remus and James talking in hushed tones, he flumped down on James bed. "Man, i failed."

The others gave him consoling looks

"I never fail." Sirius said almost painfully "And what do i say? 'whoa, electricity, gee thats
heavy stuff'."

James collapsed laughing, "You SAID that?"

Sirius nodded glumly

"Grade A stupid comment." Remus teased. "Could have been A*, if you'd have put that extra bit
of effort in..."

"Indeed." James carried on, "it could have been 'Electricity... heavy stuff, how'd you feel
tackling some of mine?'."

"You should try a more direct approach." Remus started to grin even wider if that was possible,
"I like you, i have irresistible charm, let's go make out in the trophy room."

"You think that'd work?" Sirius asked, joining in with the laughter that had engulfed the
dormitory.
****



Arianwen wasn't in a good mood. "Just you wait till i catch him in my path again..."

"Transfigure him..." Jade picked up another slice of toast

"I was thinking more of DISfigure him."

"Severus doesn't need disfiguring." Jade and Arianwen shared a grin, which quickly faded as
Jade noticed Sirius coming through the Portrait hole.

"I heard about your little Sirius encounter."

"Remus tell you?" Jade asked airily

"Work it out."

"He wants to add Almasy,Jade to his list of conquests." Jade snarked grumpily

"He's not like that."

"He so is." Jade shut her charms textbook with a snap. "He flirts with anything that resembles
a girl."

Arianwen wasn't listening anymore, she was too busy watching Remus laughing at another of Sirius'
attempts at getting noticed, which had ended up with his robes catching fire.

"He has such a nice smile." Aianwen whispered

"Earth to Arianwen... are you receiving me!!??"

"uh?"

"Never mind." Jade smiled. "Its Hogsmeade tomorrow, i'm gonna go catch me a dream or two in my
bed."

"See you later, don't forget to change socks will you?"

"As if i'd forget." Jade grinned, remembering the time she'd bewitched her socks to magically
remove themselves after a day's worth of being worn. however, when the charm wore off she didn't notice and the smeel after a few days was awful.

Remus moved in quickly as Jade disappeared. Sirius followed, still fingering the burnt hem of his
robes, "You know guys, my mum just got me these robes, i really liked the silver thread at the
botom, it kinda complimented my hair, if you know what i mean."

"You almost sounded like a girl there," Arianwen smiled as she sqeezed up in the chair to
let Remus in beside her.

"You need a plan, padfoot." Remus grinned

"I would ask James to come up with the finer points, but he's er... otherwise detained." Sirius
said trying to hold back his grin. "Can i kidnap her?"

"No." Arianwen poked her wand at Sirius. "She'd probably attack you."

"With what? Sparks?" Sirius snorted "OOOOOH, scary."

"Just go up there, drag her to the forest or something, i dunno." Remus shrugged. "Its not my
fault she think's you're just too promiscuous."

"Well, at least I didn't date Lucius Malfoy... a SLYTHERIN!! Can you believe?!" Sirius looked
as though he wanted to be sick... "Although it was funny to watch that whore Narcissa's face.
She's all over Malfoy like a leach."

"James enchanted his goatee this morning at breakfast, i don't think you were there, being busy
with the parchment and all, but it was pretty impressive." Remus raised an eyebrow at Sirius.

"Oh, yes, Peter told me something about his goatee, it grew daisies, yes?"

"And a few dandelions."

"Perfect."

"Madam Pomfrey had to shave it off. it looked like someone's overgrown back garden." Remus glanced up at Peter as he came in covered in blue fluff.

"Peter?" Sirius jumped as a blue fluffy hand grabbed his shoulder... "What.. the. ahahaaa...
has happened... ahahahhhaa!"

"Phoenix," Peter muttered. "I asked about you and she told me to stop sticking my nose in."

"I thoght Phoenix was in the dorm?" Arianwen asked

"Secret door." Remus said nonchalantely "Been there for ages. She probably found it when she
caught me sneaking out."

"You were doing what?!!" Arianwen looked slightly annoyed, slightly pleased it was difficult
to decide which showed through more..

"uh... hello? plan here?" Sirius waved his arms, getting back the attention he'd momentarily lost.

Peter shuddered a bit, "This time, i'm not being involved."

"Well, it'd be a bit difficult seeing as you're a blue hairy yeti at the moment, don't you
think you should go see Madam Pomfrey?"

"No! She'd laugh at me." Peter stared at the floor, "She did when i came back with donkey's
ears."

"Well, you shouldnt have called Snape 'Eeyore' and forgotten to take your wand." Remus sighed.
Sometimes Peter really was thick.


TBC