Jo breathed out a heavy sigh as she leaned back in her chair. Days like these she wished she wasn't a cop. She wished she wasn't anything but a normal civilian, arrogant to the real horrors of the world. Cases like this made her believe that evil really did outweigh the good in the world. It wasn't healthy to believe this but when it came to this case there was nothing else to do but believe it.
They'd been working on the Everson case for awhile now. Only today did they finally catch up to the bastard that was going around kidnapping young woman, raping them, then cutting up their bodies and sending each piece to their friends and family. It made Jo, and the whole team, sick to even think about it. He'd killed nine women before they finally caught him. Jo wished she could have been faster, better, stronger and found him sooner. She'd never seen so many bodies lined up in the morgue. They weren't even bodies; they were tiny fragments of a human cut into pieces.
She hated to think that someone was capable of such a thing. Why couldn't the world just be sane and peaceful like she dreamed? Was it really so difficult to just be nice to a person?
Just as she thought this, Mac walked past her office. Now there was some calm in this hectic world. Admiration was only a bit of what Jo felt for him. He was strong and courteous and determined. Even in the face of a storm he stayed unfazed. She wondered how he did it. How he simply walked through life like he was invincible; immortal. Nothing could possibly hurt Mac Taylor.
Though that was very untrue, Jo liked to believe it. That was what kept her and the rest of the team grounded. When they felt like they were losing their minds or were about to give up, they looked at Mac and saw the sheer determination and perseverance in his eyes. He never gave up and he willed them to do the same.
Jo wished she could be as strong as he was. She wished she could put up a force field as powerful as his. Sure, she could put up a good façade; she had everyone fooled in the fact that nothing scared her. In reality, behind that shield she was a helpless, scared little girl. That was what Jo hated most about herself. She couldn't be like Mac as hard as she tried. She couldn't always be strong and invincible. Maybe she could borrow some of his courage though. It was the only way she'd make it through the night.
She rose out of her chair and waltzed down the hall into Mac's office. "Hey, handsome," She greeted playfully.
Mac looked up at her slightly surprised. "Uh, hello to you, too," He finished signing off on some forms and rose out of his seat. "Shouldn't you be home by now?"
"I could ask you the same thing," She quickly glanced at her watch; eleven forty. Damn, she'd been there far longer than she planned. "I was waiting for you though; wanted to know if you wanted to grab a drink or something."
Mac raised his eyebrow at her. She knew he wasn't one for drinking right after solving a big case; he wasn't one for drinking period. A celebratory toast was the most they could get out of him. "Jo, do you have something up your sleeve? You know I never go out for drinks with you guys."
Jo playfully slid up her shirt sleeves and exposed her bare arms. "No, I don't and it's not with the gang; just me." She said the last part almost seductively.
A bad feeling was creeping into Mac's head but he ignored it. He had to admit he found Jo quite attractive and even had feelings for her for awhile but being the man he was, he never acted upon them. "Alright, I guess I'll follow you then."
Jo was celebrating in her head but she calmly put her arm through Mac's as they walked to the elevator.
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That bad feeling was slowly crawling further up Mac's spine as he followed Jo back to her apartment. He had a feeling this was more than just drinks for Jo, but some part of him wanted it to be. He loved being around Jo and spending what little free time he had with her. He hoped it never went anywhere though because he wasn't sure if he could handle something like that; he wasn't sure if he could handle Jo.
She was far more than just another woman in his mind. She was like a goddess; a storm to be reckoned with; a fiery spitball that everyone else avoided but him. Mac Taylor would gladly admit he was sprung on Jo Danville…if she wasn't his second in command.
The job always came first and never again would he mix business with pleasure…no matter how appealing, how appetizing, how attractive, how amazingly, mind blowing, hot that pleasure might be.
Mac shook his head as he wiped away the provocative thoughts. He refused to let his mind wander. He pulled in behind Jo in her driveway and kept a few feet back as she unlocked the door. He couldn't help but let his eyes fall down her body as he leered over the curve of her waist and slender legs and petite frame and-
"Are you gonna stand there all night or come inside?" Jo asked from the doorway. She giggled to herself when she realized Mac was more than distracted by the view.
He shook his head again and cursed inwardly. This was definitely a bad idea.
Mac followed her into the house and stripped off his jacket. He felt right at home as he plopped down on the sofa and put his feet up on the coffee table. Jo strode out of the kitchen and held a bottle of wine in one hand while a six pack of beer was in the other. She balanced them up and down in front of Mac. He took them both from her hands and placed them on the table.
"No thanks, feel free to get yourself intoxicated." He picked up the remote and flipped on the television. He flipped through the channels a minute before Jo snatched it out his hands. She turned right to the crime network and placed the remote back down. Mac smiled guiltily at her.
"You are so predictable." She said. It was partially true; every time they watched TV together Mac refused to watch anything but crime or mystery shows. He found it quite enjoyable to knit pick their conversations pointing out what was real and what was made up.
'That's not real. They don't exist. You wouldn't be able to do that so fast. They made that term up.' Jo found it irritating and entertaining all at the same time. She figured she ought to be grateful he wasn't obsessed with sports or movies with ten thousand explosions like Danny or Flack.
That was the fun part about hanging out with Mac. He was different. He was more…mature than everyone else. Mac was like Jo's foil. For every happy go lucky and adventurous thing about her, Mac was the stoic but soothing and safe part. It was almost like they balanced one another out.
"Hey, I thought you called me over here to celebrate. You haven't even drunk anything." Mac said breaking into Jo's thoughts.
"Oh, I guess I didn't want the drink after all." She moved the drinks to the side as she kicked off her shoes and plopped her feet on the table. Mac promptly slid his off and gazed at Jo.
"Alright, what's the real reason you brought me over here? What's going on?" Jo was too easy to read for Mac. He was the only one that could tell when she was hiding something or trying to pull something sneaky off. She could fool everyone else but she couldn't fool him.
Jo shook her head in defeat but didn't let her wall crumble down just yet. "Nothing, I just wanted to hang out tonight. What's wrong with that?"
"You never want to just 'hang out' after a case like today. There's something you're not telling me. What's wrong?" He slid closer to her and they could feel the heat radiating from one another's bodies. Mac was reluctant to be sitting so close to her. He felt like he was on the edge of making a very big mistake. He was trying desperately to control his impulses.
"It's just the case. You know this was a hard one. I just needed to be with someone tonight." Jo pulled her feet down and inched closer to Mac. She had to hold back a laugh when she saw his eyes widen. The close contact was obviously getting to be a bit much for him.
"Yeah, okay," Mac said quietly. He had completely lost his train of thought now. Jo moving ever closer to him was shutting down his brain and awakening a completely different part of his body.
Jo giggled. "You get distracted too easily." She breathed as her face came within inches of his.
"Only when you're around…" Before Mac could process what he was saying Jo crashed her lips into his. Their tongues wrestled as their steaming breath warmed their faces.
Mac pulled back in shock. "Whoa…what…what just happened?"
"It's called a kiss," Jo said sarcastically. "And I'd like to continue it." She leaned forward even further, practically lying on top of him as she brought her lips to his again.
Mac was unsure of what to do; embrace it or run like hell. An alarm was blaring in his ears telling him to run now before this exploded in his face. He didn't want that to happen with Jo. She was too good of a friend for him to screw up their relationship.
Yet she tasted so good; like white chocolate melting in his mouth. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and pull her closer. He wanted to feel her soft, smooth skin against his. He wanted to hear her moans of pleasure as their bodies writhed together.
That was definitely something he wanted to do. "Jo, stop," Mac finally managed to say when he came up for air. "This isn't…" He paused when she brushed back her hair and loomed seductively over him.
"This isn't what? A smart decision? When have I ever made a smart decision, Mac?" She had him with that one. Jo didn't always think things all the way through.
"No comment…" Mac mumbled. "But this-whatever this is- really isn't a good idea."
"This," Jo leaned over and kissed his lips again. "Is just sex; nothing more, nothing less. Can't we just enjoy ourselves tonight?" She leaned over and trailed kisses down his neck as she began unbuttoning his shirt.
Mac held her hands and made her look back up at him. "No, because it won't be just tonight. What if this leads to something else? Jo, you're about to make a really big mistake and I don't want either of us to get hurt."
Jo rolled her eyes and straddled Mac. "Look, this is not going to go anywhere. I know what I'm doing Mac. Neither of us is going to get hurt."
"I don't want to start something we can't finish."
"If you would stop talking we could actually start." Before Mac could say another word, Jo put her finger to his lips and finished unbuttoning his shirt. She easily slid hers over her head and went back to caressing his body with her lips.
As much as Mac wanted her to stop, for both their sakes, the words were stuck in his throat. His own breath was stuck in his lungs. His logic shut off as hormones took over and he carried Jo to the bedroom.
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Mac roused from a very short slumber. He looked over at the clock that read four in the morning. He looked to the other side to see Jo's head lying against his arm. Her hair was tousled and strewn across her face. He brushed it back to expose her angelic face that was peacefully sleeping.
Suddenly the memories of the night before came crashing back to Mac. He mentally kicked and congratulated himself for letting it happen. It was the last thing he wanted to happen between him and Jo because he just knew it would ruin their friendship. But he'd been waiting for it for so long; since he first saw her that day on the balcony. From the very first day he'd met her and been overwhelmed by her southern charm and upbeat but feisty attitude, he wanted her. He desired her, he longed for her; not just in a physical way. He wanted to call her his; to give her his name and wake up to her every morning like that morning and see her beautiful face every day; to be able to introduce her to people as more than just his friend, or colleague, or second in command.
All those possibilities were now shot to hell though. After that night, Mac saw no way of making that happen. Jo had made it very clear she didn't want him the way he wanted her. Lust and longing was about the only thing they shared that night. Love continued to tip the balance out of Mac's favor.
Mac carefully pulled his arm out from beneath Jo's head and rolled off the bed. He searched around the room for his clothes and quickly got dressed. He didn't want to stay there and have her wake up next to him. That would just be awkward and uncomfortable. If nothing was going to happen, as she said, he wasn't going to stick around and try to force it to. Solemnly, Mac grabbed his things and headed out the door.
An hour and a half later, Jo awoke to the sound of her alarm beeping. She slapped the snooze button and rolled over expecting to lean against Mac's bare chest. To her surprise, and disliking, he wasn't there. She shot up and looked around the bedroom. She didn't hear the sound of the shower or bacon sizzling in a pan or even another crime show on TV.
"Mac?" Jo called. There was no response. "Where the hell did he go?" She climbed out of bed and pulled on fresh clothes. Just to be sure, Jo took a long look around the apartment but still Mac was nowhere to be found. Jo didn't know why she was getting upset over this. She wanted him to leave, right? Though last night was great- that was an understatement actually- it really was supposed to be just sex. That's what she told him and that's what she wanted to believe…yet all of a sudden she couldn't.
"Damn you, Mac Taylor." Jo shook her head. She wasn't about to have feelings for her boss. That was not about to happen. She couldn't; she wouldn't; she shouldn't. Jo Danville was not falling in love with Mac Taylor; not in the slightest.
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Three Months Later
"You…in love with…Jo…" Flack and Danny glanced at one another. Mac was paralyzed in place. He restrained himself from leaping out of his chair and yelling, 'I, MAC TAYLOR, AM IN LOVE WITH JO DANVILLE AND I WANT TO SHOUT IT TO THE MOUNTAIN TOPS.' There was a very good chance the guys were just messing with him again. Of course, he was right and before Mac's anxiety could reach its limit Danny and Flack burst into laughter.
"Oh, yeah that'd be the day!" Danny joked. They were still laughing like hyenas as Mac let out a shaky breath and relaxed his shoulders again. They hadn't figured him out…yet. Another stunt like this and he probably would run through the building telling everyone he was in love her Jo.
It had gotten that bad in a matter of three months. Not that his being in love with her was a bad thing; it was bad that he didn't think she felt the same. And it was even worse that they had continued having casual sex for the past three months.
Mac knew it was probably the stupidest thing he could do yet he couldn't help himself. At least he tried to stop it, occasionally. It only took one seductive look from her or that adorable, heart melting puppy-dog face for him to break. Even if he wanted to resist her, he couldn't. It was a sad truth that was digging him deeper in this hole every day.
"Hey, Mac? Earth to Mac…" Danny waved his arms in front of him to get his attention.
Mac snapped back to attention and stared at him stoically.
"Where were you?" Flack asked still holding back chuckles.
"Nowhere…" His jaw nearly dropped when he saw Jo walking past his office. Even in her regular old tight jeans and camisole she looked as gorgeous as ever. If it wasn't for the fact that they were surrounded by their colleagues, Mac would pounce right there and then.
"Are you…drooling?" Flack asked. He leaned in closer to him and started to chuckle again.
Mac wiped at his face and shook the thoughts away. "No, now stop joking around and get back to work."
"What work? It's Saturday and we don't have a case. We have nothing better to do than mess with you." Danny said.
Rolling his eyes, Mac said, "Gee, thanks. If you have nothing better to do, then go home. That's where I'm headed."
"Did the workaholic of the year, Mac Taylor, really just tell us to go home? As in home, home with a bed and kitchen and television? Because I swore your home was this office." Flack and Danny cracked up again and Mac ignored them. He strode past them and caught Jo, Lindsay, and Hawkes in the hall.
"Hey, I'm giving you guys the day off; go home." He said to the group without taking his eyes off Jo.
They stared at him in shock. "Let's go! Quick, before he changes his mind!" Lindsay said and she and Hawkes charged for the elevator.
Jo raised an eyebrow at him. "You're seriously giving us the day off? Are you dying or something?"
Mac chuckled and shook his head. "No, I just think you guys deserve some time off. This might be the only time I offer so I suggest you take advantage of it." He threw her a wink before starting back down the hall. Jo grabbed his arm before he could get any further.
She brought her lips up to his ear and whispered, "My place or yours?"
There was that damn alarm blaring again, warning him to drop this now before it got worse; if that was even possible at this point. Mac ignored his better thought and said his place. Jo winked back at him and went back to her office. A hot breath escaped Mac and he quickened his pace toward the elevator.
Lindsay, Danny, and Flack watched from inside his office. "Did you…please, tell me I'm not the only one who saw that?" Danny asked excitedly.
"Oh, I saw it…you don't think…" Lindsay said.
"Nah, not those two; they're more in love with their jobs than each other…" Even as Flack said it, he was beginning to doubt it. They all knew Mac and Jo were close, from the very first day she got there; but they had never seen them that close. Mac would never cross the line in his job, not even for Jo. That was what he said though. Flack wasn't sure if he entirely believed that now. Love could make people do crazy things and from what he'd seen between Mac and Jo they were borderline psychotic.
"I don't know about you, but I'd like to find out for myself." Lindsay piped up. The guys looked at her mischievous expression.
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They had barely closed the door when Mac and Jo bombarded into his apartment. Still keeping his lips locked with Jo's, Mac kicked the door closed and pulled off his jacket. Jo had already started on her clothes in the hallway, much to Mac's anxiety and arousal. She was now hard at work on his pants. Their clothes left a trail to the living room as they toppled atop the couch.
"Ouch!" Jo mumbled under his breath.
Mac tried to pull back when he realized he was stuck. "Oh, shit,"
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Danny, Lindsay, and Flack practically flew out of the car when they saw Jo step out of her car and walk up to Mac's apartment. They were careful not to make themselves known as they snuck into the building. By the time they got up the stairs, Mac and Jo had already disappeared into the apartment.
They stood at the door wondering what excuse to tell Mac for coming over. "We can't just say we came to visit; we saw him less than twenty minutes ago at the lab." Danny said.
"Who cares what we tell him? I wanna get in there and find out what the hell is going on with-" Lindsay stopped when she heard Jo shout.
They pressed their ears against the door and tried to listen to Mac and Jo's conversation.
"Ow, Mac!"
"I'm sorry!"
"Would you stop yanking it so hard?"
"Well, it's stuck, Jo. What do you want me to do?"
"Ouch! For God's sake, let me do it."
"Ow! You didn't have to pull so hard."
"Now you know how I feel."
With wide eyes Danny, Lindsay, and Flack turned to one another. Keeping her voice low, Lindsay said, "What the hell is going on in there?"
Flack shook his head. "Whatever it is, I don't think I wanna know."
They pressed their ears back against the door but there was silence. There was the sound of clinking metal. "Finally…"
"I told you I could get it out."
"Whatever, Mac," She breathed out a heavy sigh. "Never again; never ever again."
"Oh, come on, it wasn't that bad. And you know you can't resist this."
Jo giggled. "Okay, maybe not that. That, on the other hand, I can do without."
The three backed away from the door again. "Okay, seriously, what the hell is going on in there?" Lindsay asked again.
.
"Did you hear that?" Mac asked whipping his head toward the door.
"Please don't say something corny about your-"
"No, really, I heard voices." He promptly zipped up his pants and waited for Jo to put her clothes back on. She did so reluctantly and rolled her eyes as Mac carefully walked to the door, gun in hand.
Mac slowly unlocked the door and yanked it open. Not much to his surprise, Flack, Danny, and Lindsay came tumbling in. They landed flat on their faces but quickly jumped back up with wide, smug grins.
"What are the three stooges doing here?" Mac asked as he placed his gun and holster on the stand next to the door. "I thought I told you to go home."
"We thought you two were going home too," Lindsay said smugly between a fit of giggles.
The three of them glanced between Mac and Jo before breaking out in laughter. Mac glared at them. "Alright, what's so funny?"
Danny coughed a few times to catch his breath. "Nice shirt, Jo." He managed to say before cracking up again. Jo looked down at her shirt to notice two of the buttons were out of place. She whipped around and fixed them up.
"So what? Why are you-" Jo stopped when she realized it. "Oh, shit. You guys were listening the whole time, weren't you?"
They were just about to calm when she brought it up again and they fell into another bout of laughter. "Yes!" They said in unison. Their faces were turning bright red and they could barely stand up straight.
"Why these perverts…" Mac said with an embarrassed expression on his face.
The group finally calmed and stood up to face Jo. She widened her eyes in fear like a jury was about to convict her. They eyed her questioningly.
"What? It's not what you think!" Jo tried to defend them, though she knew she would fail.
"So, you and Mac aren't sleeping together?" Flack asked.
"No…well, yes…but that's not what happened! Well, not exactly…" As she stumbled over her words, the whole room stared at her wide eyed and mouths agape. "Okay, I'm just gonna shut up before I dig myself deeper in this hole." She covered her face and turned away from the group.
Done with torturing her, the three turned on Mac. He stepped back when they all stared at him. "What?"
"You're sleeping with…Jo. I think our expressions are word enough. And what is this about being 'stuck'?" Lindsay said.
Mac slapped his forehead. "Okay, let me explain. We were…on the couch…and her necklace got caught in mine. That is all that happened."
"Oh, yeah, then why is Jo's shirt messed up and why are you blushing little school kids?" Danny crossed his arms over his chest and he finally caught Mac speechless.
He stammered with his mouth open trying to find a way to explain whatever the hell had just happened. Eventually he just closed his mouth and threw his hands up in surrender.
Flack went over to him and patted his shoulder. "Jokes aside, it's about time! We've been waiting for you two to get together since the first day Jo got here. We were about to start betting on which happened first; you and Jo starting a relationship or Lucy graduating college." Danny and Lindsay snickered again and missed the panicked glance between Mac and Jo.
Jo quickly played it off with a smirk. She didn't want her panicked expression to give herself away. Of course she teased and joked that she and Mac would hook up some day; but deep inside she really wanted to. She played it off at first; trying to convince herself she was just thinking too far into whatever it was they had. It was just sex…she had to keep reminding herself. Now she was starting to regret what she'd told him. She really had started something she couldn't finish.
Lindsay was first to pick up on Jo's anxious expression and Mac's fearful one. She hurried to Jo's side and whispered in her ear, "You okay, hon?"
Then the dam broke and Jo shook her head. Lindsay glared over at Mac who actually seemed to shy away. He coughed and grabbed Danny and Flack's attention. "Hey, guys, why don't we go out for some drinks or something?"
Flack and Danny stared questioningly at him. "Um, this is your apartment ain't it?" Danny asked.
Lindsay shot him a death glare and he sped to the door. "Let's go Donnie," Flack shot him the same glare and wrapped his arm around his neck as Mac followed them out the door.
Immediately, Lindsay turned to Jo. "What the hell is going on with you two? It's obviously not a relationship from the face you just made."
They fell onto the couch. "Not really…we sort of…" Jo laughed as she let out a shaky breath. "We've been sleeping together for the last three months."
Lindsay's mouth fell open. "You…and Mac…sleeping together…for…three months? What the hell, Jo?"
Jo backed away and shielded her body with her arms. "Well, it's not exactly something I wanted to shout from the rooftops!" She leaned forward and laid her head in her hand. "Now I wish it hadn't happened at all."
"What? Why?" A smug grin quickly crossed her face. "Don't tell Danny but if Mac wanted sex with no strings I wouldn't be complaining."
They giggled for a second then Jo took on a solemn look. "I'm not complaining…it's great…really great…like out of this world, mind blowing, soul connecting-"
"Okay, I get it!" Lindsay cut in before Jo could go into detail. "If it's so…amazing…then what is the problem?"
"I don't even know! I mean it's so amazing and I want to…like, really want to continue but…this isn't right. I mean this was supposed to be all fun and games…I didn't want to feel like this." She shook her head again and dropped it in her hands.
Lindsay didn't have to ask what 'this' was. It was so obvious from the look in Jo's eyes and the way she was acting around Mac. "You're in love with Mac."
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"Oh, my God; you're in love with Jo."
Mac rolled his eyes when Danny and Flack finally came to the realization. He knew they'd figure it out at some point. He just wished it wasn't when he was having casual sex with the person he was in love with. "Yes, yes I am."
"At least he's honest…but, damn. You're in love with Jo." Danny said still in shock. "So, your way of telling her is by letting her have random sex with you for the past three months? I didn't peg you as the type. Don, maybe…"
Flack punched his shoulder nearly sending him falling off the bar stool. "Shut up…"
"God, you two are like children." Mac said. "And no, it's not exactly how I wanted this…us…to happen. But I guess I'll just have to accept it."
"Accept it? Mac, you're in love with Jo!" Flack jumped in. Mac really wished they'd stop saying that. It only cut deeper into his heart. "You can't just keep having random sex with her and not expect something to come of it. You're in love with her, Mac. Tell her!"
Mac's head shot up and he stared at them wide eyed. "Have you lost your minds? I definitely can't do that."
"Why not? When has Mac Taylor ever backed down from anything?" Danny asked surprised.
"I'm not backing down. I'm trying to protect her."
"From what; you? Mac, you love her. You're not protecting her if you don't tell her." Flack spoke up.
Mac stared at them in surprise and relief. It was always him giving them the advice in life choices. For once it was Flack and Danny helping him out. Though it wasn't advice Mac particularly wanted to take, he figured what harm could it do? Best case scenario, what he'd been dreaming of for weeks, Jo felt the same and they could start a real relationship.
Worst case scenario, she turned him down and they'd never be comfortable in the same building again and he'd have to quit his job and then he'd never see her again and he would never know what could have been.
Yeah, he really wanted to tell her now.
"I guess you're right…" Mac unwillingly agreed with the guys. "But if this doesn't end well, it'll be both your asses."
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"I am not in love with Mac." Jo kept repeating over and over. She was pacing all over the apartment while Lindsay followed her.
The dirty blond was taunting her with that old kid song. "Jo and Mac sitting in a tree; K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"
"Lindsay, shut up!" Jo hollered. She stopped dead in her tracks and turned to see the smug smile on Lindsay's face.
"First comes love-or your case, sex- then comes marriage, then comes Mac junior in the baby carriage!" She burst into laughter and fell back on the couch.
"Lindsay, please!"
She finally calmed and patted the seat on the couch next to her. "Come on, Jo," Jo reluctantly sat down. "Honey, I don't know why you're denying it. You know you're in love with him. Why is it so terrible if you just admit it?"
"I can't Lindsay. I just can't."
"Why not? What are you so afraid of?"
Jo bit her lip as she thought it over. There were so many things she was afraid of. She didn't think Lindsay, let alone Mac, would understand. This was exactly why she hadn't been in a relationship since she was in college. There were so many ways she could get hurt and she just could risk that again, not even for Mac.
As if she'd called the devil himself, Mac, Danny, and Flack came strolling back into the apartment. Jo and Lindsay had forgotten they were still in Mac's apartment. Lindsay hopped off the couch and made a beeline for Danny.
She practically jumped into his arms as he leant down to kiss her. "I love you," She said casually stealing a glance at Jo. Jo knew what she was doing. It was almost working too; almost.
"I'll see you all Monday," Mac said as the three spies slipped out the door. Jo tried to escape with them but he caught her arm before she could leave. "I need to talk to you."
He pulled her back into the apartment and closed the door. Jo immediately wrapped her arms around herself. "What's up?" She tried to ask nonchalantly.
"I want to talk about you and me." He paused to see her reaction. There was a small flicker of nervousness in her eyes but she stayed as stoic as possible. "Jo, I'm…I'm in love with you."
And there it was; the words Jo had been dreading for the last three months. "Mac, please don't…"
"Jo, I'm in love with you and I have been since the very first day you got here. I can't stand this fake relationship we've been having. I want you for real; I want to be able to call you more than a just a friend. I want to be able to tell everyone that I love you. I want to be able to wake up next to you and not have to leave. I just want to be with you. Please, let me be with you." He moved closer to her and tried to take her hands in his.
She pulled away and shook her head. "This isn't happening…this can't be happening…"
"What? What's wrong?" Mac feared that everything he just said would be a total waste. He should have known she didn't feel the same. Flack and Danny were so dead.
"This was supposed to be just sex…that's it." She started backing away again when Mac started coming closer. Unfortunately the wall was only a few inches away.
"But I want more…" With Jo pressed up against the wall, Mac leaned in to kiss her. At the last second she turned her head.
"No, I can't…" Jo whispered.
"Why? What are you afraid of?" Mac kept his hands on the wall above her shoulders.
Still keeping her eyes away from Mac's, Jo said, "I'm not afraid of anything…" This, of course, was a total lie. Both she and Mac knew it. Mac turned her face to his, pleading with her to tell him the truth.
"I…I'm afraid of us," Jo started. "I'm afraid of what we would become. Mac, I have never had healthy relationships. I don't want to take that risk with you just so it can blow up in my face. I can't lose you."
"You won't ever lose me," Mac tried to assure her.
"But I could; I could lose you and our friendship and everything we have. What if we try this and it doesn't work? What if one of us ends up getting hurt? What if we end up hating each other? What if I'm not strong enough to be in a relationship again? What if I can't give you everything you give me? What if-"
Mac placed his finger over her lips. "Jo, you'll never know until you try. I don't want to waste the rest of my life wondering 'what if'." He brought his hand to her cheek and brushed his lips against hers.
Not another word was spoken as Mac lifted Jo into his arms and carried her to the bedroom. That night they didn't just have sex; they made love. And the next morning, Mac was relieved to wake up before Jo and not have to leave. Instead he wrapped his arms around her. Jo sighed peacefully and buried her head in Mac's shoulder. She didn't fear not waking up to him now. She knew from now on every morning and every night she'd be in his arms; safe and strong.
And now Mac knew, he would have to give Danny and Flack a raise.
