Authors' Note: Hi there, just so you know, this story was co-authored with my friend Nimeria. Boredom coupled with instant messaging is a surprisingly good recipe for writing fanfiction. That explains the format, which would be too difficult (since we do have lives) to change and we kind of like it the way it is. Anyways, this story is as much hers as mine, just so you know.
Disclaimer: We don't own anyone or anything you recognize. Except for ourselves. And that last bit's only a "maybe" on a good day.
Why to Always Have an Escape Route
Chapter 1
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(In the middle of a conversation between many people, one of our protagonists finds herself confused.)
Taylor: (is lost) Ooh, look! Shiny vertical puddle! (She wanders off)
(Also in the middle of same conversation, another of our protagonists finds herself in much the same condition.)
Mary: Taylor! Take me with you! Get back here. Don't leave me all alone!!!
(Taylor comes back for Mary)
Mary: Yay!
(Taylor and Mary wander towards the shiny vertical puddle. Taylor runs into the wormhole.)
Mary: No! Wait for me! (follows Taylor)
(Now on the other side of the wormhole, Taylor looks around)
Taylor: Where are we Mary?
Mary: The Gate Room! Look! It's Harriman! Follow him!
(Taylor and Mary follow Harriman…Some time later…)
Mary: Where are we going?
Taylor: After Walter Harriman.
Mary: And where is Harriman going?
Taylor: I dunno. Never did figure out these stupid lines on the floor and all the walls look the same
(They walk a little more.)
Taylor: Oh lookie! Our favorite people!
(Taylor skips up and glomps both Daniel and Mitchell)
Mary: Both? What am I supposed to do? (looks and sees Daniel's office) SWEET! (She goes in and pokes random artifacts) (poke poke)
(Taylor is pried off by the guards that Daniel and Mitchell have waved over frantically. She whimpers, is glared at by Mitchell and Daniel, and mopes off to go poke artifacts with Mary.)
Mary: (poke pok-) Umm...Taylor...why is this one glowing?
Taylor: Umm... Mary I think maybe we should run or get Daniel. Or both.
Mary: The latter please.
(Mary and Taylor run off and get Daniel and drag him back to the artifact, which is now humming as well as glowing.)
Mary: Now, fix! Or I'll let Taylor glomp you more!
Daniel: (glares) I can't.
Mary: (pokes Daniel) So what do we do now?
Daniel: (glares more) We get someone with the ATA gene. Which in order to have activated it, you must have, so...
Mary: (blinks) What? (looks at Taylor) What? Why are you staring at me?
Taylor: Think 'off' at it Mary.
(Mary thinks 'off' and the artifact.)
(Nothing happens.)
Taylor: Think harder!
(offoffoffoffoffoffoffoff)
(Still nothing happens.)
Mary: Oh Drat.
Daniel: Ok, don't panic. You were both poking stuff. Maybe she needs to do it.
Mary: Go for it Taylor! Think like you've never thought before! Oh, wait. Not literally. That might be bad...
(Taylor thinks 'off')
(It hums louder and starts spinning.)
Mary: Not working!
Daniel: (beginning to look frightened) Umm. M-maybe both of you?
(Both women think extremely hard at the same time. The artifact stops spinning, humming, and glowing at the same time.)
Mary: Yay!
(The artifact starts levitating and whirring)
All three: Oh crap
Taylor: Now can we panic?
Daniel: Umm. Yeah. (sticks head out door of his office) JAAACCCCKKK!!
Mary: Jack is back?!
(Jack appears in doorway, along with Teal'c.)
Jack: Daniel.
Daniel: Jack.
Teal'c: Indeed.
(Mary pokes Daniel)
Daniel: Ah! Umm...we seem to be having a problem with the...uh...levitating and whirring thing...
Jack: Annnnd... So... Thus... Therefore...?
Mary: (blinks) Can you fix it?
(Jack walks over and touches device. He appears to be concentrating very hard.)
Jack: Hmmm. Well, nothing happened.
(Mary and Taylor begin quietly betting on how many people are going to try to stop it before it happens)
(The thingy whirrs faster.)
Mary: Something happened...
Taylor: Hmm. Should we maybe... I dunno, run?
Jack: Nope. Just hang on a sec. (sticks head out door) Hey Sheppard. C'mere.
Taylor: What?! Sheppard's here and I didn't know?!
(Sheppard walks into the room, and is promptly glomped by Taylor.)
Mary: (notices something on the side of the artifact) Hey, everybody look!
(Everyone looks. On the side is writing in Ancient.)
(Mary presses the third symbol and the artifact shuts down.)
Taylor: (still glomped to Sheppard) What the heck is it anyway?
Mary: (smirks) It says "press here to shut down".
Daniel: You can read ancient?
Taylor: (snickers) She guessed.
Mary: (looks hurt) Did not.
Taylor: Did so. (sticks out tongue)
Mary: (hides behind Teal'c) Help me!
Teal'c: (looks puzzled) O'Neill?
Jack: Ah, it's just the two girls who use this place as their little hide away. Nothing to worry about. They're really very nice.
Mary: (She walks from behind Teal'c) Come on Taylor, leave him be, I'm sure he has work to do.
Sheppard: (Somewhat breathlessly as his ribs are being crushed.) Yes! Work!
(Taylor pouts in perfect imitation of Sheppard)
Jack: Well that look is familiar.
Sheppard: (softens) I tell you what. You let go and I'll stay here okay?
Taylor: (considers) I reserve the right to glomp you again if you try to leave.
Sheppard: Fine.
(Taylor lets go)
Sheppard: I think I'll be...somewhere else for a moment.
(Taylor moves to follow.)
Mary: (She sees the inevitable, and grabs something off Daniel's desk. She stands in front of Taylor, and waves a pen in front of her.) Look Taylor! Shiny!!
(Taylor ignores the shiny pen in favor of Sheppard, and glomps him as he tries to walk out the door.)
Mary: Fine. (Tickles Taylor until she lets go, and holds her back as Sheppard retreats around the corner into one of the numberless hallways with the lines on the floor.)
(Taylor sits down and cries. Jack, Daniel, Mitchell and Teal'c look on in confused horror, completely at a loss for what to do.)
Daniel: Umm. Is she okay?
Mary: She will be. (Leans over to Mitchell, who had been completely forgotten even though he had been in the hallway, and whispers in his ear.)
(Mitchell looks confused, then comprehends.)
Mitchell: (speaking to Taylor) Hey, would you and your friend like a bite to eat?
Taylor: (stops crying and jumps up) Yes!!
(Mitchell leads the way to the mess hall with Taylor following happily by his side)
(Mary gives the other three a knowing smirk and follows)
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