A/N: Oh... my God... an Eclipse parody!
Location: Jacob's House
Jacob: (Crying)
AC: S'up my young werewolf buddy?
Jacob: (Holds up half a pen, still crying)
AC: And your point?
Jacob: The pen wouldn't work... and then I got angry and broke the pen.
AC: So?
Jacob: I can't write my heart-filled note!
AC: (Hands Jacob a pen)
Jacob: I can't write with Ball-Points, I can only use Biros.
AC: My God, werewolves are so fussy!
Location: Bella's House.
Bella: (Gets out 10 mile long note from Jacob) Wait... why does it switch from black ink the blue ink?
AC: His pen ran out. Actually that's an understatement, the pen ran out so he snapped it in half.
Bella: Typical Jacob.
AC: I smell burning...
Bella: (Runs downstairs) WHAT THE CRAP CHARLIE?
Charlie: What?
Bella: POUR THE SAUCE OUT OF THE JAR! AND MIX NOODLES, MIX!
Charlie: Sorry... arn't you going to ask me why I'm cooking?
Bella: Do I want to ask why you're cooking?
Charlie: It involves your grounding.
Bella: Tell me more! (Suddenly falls over onto her ass)
AC: Haha!
Bella: The note... it feels like it weighs 10 tonnes... sorry.
AC: Hehe... I actually love this book.
Charlie and Bella: Book?
AC: ... Um... I... this book (Holds up My Sister's Keeper and opens in, immediately bursting into tears)
Bella: Why are you crying?
AC: It's... so... SAD!
Bella: Oh... CHARLIE! THE FUCKING NOODLES!
Location: Bella's Kitchen (10 Minutes Later)
Charlie: Now Bella... now you have a boyfriend, I want to know if you're being safe.
AC: (Appears) I've gotta see this!
Bella: Pfft, of course, I always fasten my seat belt in his car.
AC: (Tries not to laugh) Is that a euphemism?
Charlie: No, no Bella! I mean safe.
Bella: Yes, I am. I always keep his hand in mine when we're out.
AC: (Bites lip to hold in laughter)
Charlie: NO BELLA, I MEAN CONDOMS! SAFE SEX!
Bella: ...
AC: ... There's no such thing as safe sex, just safer sex.
Bella: ...
Charlie: Bella?
AC: It's an awkward moment, Charlie.
Location: Cullen House.
AC: (Appears, half dead from laughter)
Edward: What do you want?
AC: You should of been there! (Laughs)
Edward: What?
AC: Charlle talking to Bella about... about... (Falls to the floor laughing)
Edward: WHAT?!
AC: Hey Edward, does Bella always fasten her seat belt in your car. (Winks)
Emmett: Is that a euphemism for something I am very fond of?
AC: I think it is, Emmett.
Edward: What?
AC: S-E-X
Edward: ?
AC: Sexy Time?
Edward: ??
AC: (Sighs) SEX YOU IDIOT!
Edward: Oh... me and Bella haven't done it yet... we're both virgins.
Emmett and Jasper: (Grin manically)
Edward: Shouldn't of said that.
So, chapter one up! Like it? Review? x
