My first ever story. I tore through it with the help of Dreamerbydawn in the hopes of making it better… but I don't know how successful it turned out…
Not my best.
I appreciate Dreamer's patience and love. I thank her for beta-ing this because I was too lazy to edit this myself. Love you Dreamer!
Disclaimer:I do not own beyblade or any of the characters mentioned below, except Kimana Krosovski.
Warning: Contains mentions of rape and Yaoi (male x male). Also Kai is a bit OOC. And this is an OC centric fic (kinda).
Misconceptions
He stood there in the pouring rain, leaning against the side of his car. Eyes closed, he turned his face upwards, towards the heavens. His clothes were drenched, just like he was, but he didn't care. He had too much on his mind to let wet clothes and a ruined hairdo worry him.
He was thinking. Would she even bother to look at him now? After all that he had made her go through? Would things go back to the way they used to be? Was she lonely? Or did she find someone else? Similar questions added up, tormenting him. He let out a long, drawn out sigh. He was such a miserable wreck. Things had not been like this before. He had not been like this before.
Kai Hiwatari.
The name that brought a smile to the face of any female, and fear to his opponents. In the beyblading circuit, he was very well known. He was one of the best, along with his team, the Blitzkrieg Battalion. They were unstoppable.
Another thing that made them popular, apart from their formidable skill in the bey arena, was their extreme good looks.
Tala Ivanov, their Captain, was the tallest, with sky blue eyes and fiery red hair which when combined with his creamy skin seemed to make him look like an angel. He loved all the attention he got, and delighted in posing for pictures and signing autographs.
Then there was Bryan Kuznetsov. The second tallest, muscular, good looking, with lilac hair, green eyes, and pure alabaster skin.
Kai had always known that Bryan was gay, and that he had a major crush on their Captain. When Tala had reached over and kissed him once, the falcon actually blushed, and a cute shade of red at that. Kai had thought the sky was gonna fall, though whether it was with the discovery that Tala was gay or that Bryan could blush, he did not know.
That brought him to the last and final member of their team: Kimana Krosovski
The name brought a new pain to him. He exhaled softly, suddenly feeling very tired. Again all the pain and confusion came back, pushing all his happy memories away.
Those had been the happiest times of his life. He felt the same could be said for the rest of his team. All of them had terrible childhoods, abusive and frightening. That was what had made them stronger, which made them the people they were.
This diverted all his thoughts to the same name which got him thinking about it in the first place. A small smile crept up his face when he thought of his blading days.
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She was beautiful. Damn Beautiful. He had known both Tala and Bryan, but he had never seen her before. Her skin was the colour of milk, and it contrasted sharply with her jet black hair that she often wore in a ponytail, falling halfway down her spine. She was wearing dark blue jeans and a white full sleeved coat. Her black vest peeked out from under her coat collar. A pendant of deep, dark, blue colored stone rested just between her collar bones. But it was her eyes that made his heart almost stop beating. Her eyes were almost the same colour as the stone she wore on her pendant, except there were scratches and speckles of leaf green in between. When they shook hands as Tala introduced them to each other, Kai was still staring at her pendant, while he mulled over how anyone's eyes could look so enchanting, amazing, exotic, spectacular... She noticed. She held it up and said "The rim is platinum. The stone is a rare blue variety of Sodalite. I think my mother gave it to me."
Her voice sounded like music to his ears. He kept staring at her without giving any response to what she had just said. She raised her hand to his face and snapped her fingers, right in front of his eyes. He blinked and stepped back, startled from his reverie. She seemed a little annoyed, the ends of her lips pulled down in a slight pout. They looked so inviting, as if they wanted to be kissed. Thankfully, she didn't notice him staring this time, and simply bid Tala goodnight and went away.
Tala stood there and looked at Kai. He was still staring straight ahead. 3 minutes later, Bryan had joined him too. Then they decided that enough was enough and snapped their fingers in his face, just like she had done. When Kai had recovered, he was a bit pissed off when he saw 2 boys instead of his angel, and became more annoyed when he noticed that both of them were snickering and smirking into their hands. He huffed and walked off, leaving behind 2 amused boys, who exploded in laughter as soon as he turned a corner.
Kai soon noticed that she had that hypnotizing effect on every guy she met. She knew that right from the start, and used it effectively to deceive people into thinking what she wanted them to think. Most people underestimated her abilities. She looked so fragile and angelic; no one really thought she could do much damage.
But they were very, very wrong. For when paired with her ice serpent bit beast, Serpentros, she was deadly. Brute strength was not, her forte, no, Kimana was exquisite at scheming. Her brains plus Serpentros' incredible speed made her unbeatable.
She looked so cold while standing there in the arena. Just like the rest of their team. In battle, all they thought of was victory. They showed no emotion whatsoever, except an occasional sneer or a smirk at their opponent's incapacity to beat them. They never exposed their personalities in public. Only in the privacy of their hotel rooms did they ever take off their masks and have fun, talking about everything and nothing, and eating mass quantities of sweets, and fighting over who got to use the bathroom first, and laughing at each other's silliness.
Much to Kai's dismay, he found Kimana was more interested in Tala than she was in him. He loved her, and to him she was the world. But she never talked to him like she did with Tala or Bryan. I drove him insane, and made him feel angry, jealous and sad at the same time. He seemed to get lost a lot more often in his head when she was around. He was always at her side, but she didn't seem to care at all, and he began to wonder if something was wrong with him.
His being blatantly ignored made him miserable, and it kept getting worse. One day he woke up earlier than usual and chanced to see his love getting ready for her bath. She was wearing a simple night shirt of dark blue satin, which stopped just a few inches below her butt. And then he saw her legs. Thanks to the silvery-golden rays of the just rising sun, her legs looked almost edible.. Long, lean and graceful… just like how Kai liked it, or rather, imagined it…
Tala woke up to find Kai staring keenly at the bathroom door. He quickly deduced what must've happened, and shook Kai out of his trance using his foot. 'Boy, this guy is nuts!', he thought. Once he had Kai's attention, he asked "Haven't you seen her in her night shirt before?"
"No."
"Are you happy that you got the chance today?"
"Yes."
"She has the Sexiest legs, huh?"
Death glare.
"Well, I think the whole of her is very sexy. Do you?"
Continue death glare.
"You know, if you like her, you should ask her out."
"I will if you stop flirting with her!"
"I'm not flirting!"
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are!"
"Let a guy get some sleep, will ya?" Bryan interrupted loudly.
"Whatever." Kai huffed and went back under the covers to sulk.
He yearned for her attention. It came to the point when one day, Tala dragged Kai out of bed, clad only in his pajamas, and stood him in front of an equally rashly awoken Kimana, and forced him to admit his feelings for her. By the time he had finished with stammering and stuttering, she was smiling at him. Kai's stomach turned to goo when he saw her looking at him like that. And that's how they got their first date, thanks to Tala and Bryan who had by then gotten sick of Kai's act of a love sick puppy around the girl who never seemed to notice his attempts at impressing her.
After that, everything seemed perfect for Kai. He finally had his angel with him, he was happy, and so was she. They went out often, and Kai pampered her rotten, all thanks to his grandfather's bank account.
The four of them attended different universities, but they never really drifted apart from each other. They just grew closer.
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Kimana grew to love Kai as much as he loved her. In the beginning she had a huge crush on Tala and she was extremely close to him. They shared a special bond, seeing as they both had the same horrible past. But she knew that he preferred men, and that she would not stand a chance against Bryan, who she loved like a brother. And when Kai began to show an interest in her, she ignored him.
A part of her thought that it wouldn't work out. He was rich, she was not. Not to mention that he was also strong, brilliant, very, very handsome and had the most bewitching ruby eyes she had ever seen. So she was beautiful, and intelligent, and had a vast number of guys who would throw themselves at her feet (yes, she was vain), but that was a different subject.
He didn't know of her horrible past, the torturous abuse, and the reasons for her terrible nightmares which left her screaming and drenched in sweat in the middle of the night. Tala knew everything and loyally kept it a secret.
But the main reason she ignored Kai was the fear of rejection. She was scared that if she let herself come to like him and told him her secret, he might become disgusted with her and leave and break her heart. So she showed no interest in him even though another part of her longed for his company.
But by then, Tala and Bryan had arranged their surprise date by dragging them both out of bed that morning. That fateful morning, she knew she was cornered when the other part of her fought for control, won, and agreed to go out on their first date. That night she caught Tala and ranted all her worries and frustrations to him, and was damn annoyed when instead of sympathizing with her and offering advice like he usually did, he laughed at her and told her to chill out a bit and follow the advice of her 'other part' for a while. Exasperated, she went to Bryan, who looked at her like she had gone mad. With his typical Bryan expression, he said "Stop blabbering. Kai's not like that." And that was that.
So, she finally told Kai everything about the cause of her nightmares, the miserable first ten years of her life. By the time she had finished, the tears were falling unrestricted down her cheeks. She buried her face in her hands, not knowing what to do next. She gave a frightened jump when she felt something touch her, and relaxed when she realized that it was Kai, hugging her close and whispering soothing words while rubbing circles on her back. She melted completely into his touch, and felt a flurry of emotions run amok in the pit of her stomach. There was safety, relief, comfort, love, and most of all, warmth. She had never felt this way with anyone, save Bryan and Tala. She felt totally at peace with the world. Kai's words were soft and calming, and his body felt warm and comforting. She buried her face in his strong chest and deeply breathed in his scent: a mix of sweat, soap and cologne. He smelled wonderful. She was still crying, but the tears were of relief, not pain or sadness like before. Kai could feel the tension lessening and smiled, kissed the top of her head and tucked it under his chin and held her tighter, if possible.
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But slowly, things changed. Kai found that he was beginning to get uncomfortable with Kimana, maybe because he was starting to get bored with the same monotonous routine of his life. They had been together for almost 10 years now and he was becoming more and more irritable. He began to get annoyed by the same things he loved before. Like how she always talked during breakfast, about politics, fashion, and what not, and generally, he too contributed with zeal. But now it irked him even if she said a word.
Kimana was confused. He never talked to her like he used to, never laughed at her silly jokes, and never noticed when she tried out anything new anymore. She knew something was off, but she didn't know what. She tried to have lively conversations with him but he always snapped at her, so most of their time was spent in uncomfortable silence. She tried play fighting to get him to at least scold her, if not talk to her. But he got really wild, so she dropped that plan. Gradually she just stopped trying, thinking that maybe he just needed some time alone.
One day Kai decided that he had had enough. He felt tied down and suffocated. So he decided to put an end to it. He couldn't stand it anymore, even though she tried her best to fix things up. Needless to say it shocked her when he said he wanted to break up.
"We can't go on like this anymore."
"But why?"
"I'm not as attracted to you as I was before…"
"So that's all it was? Attraction? The last ten years you spent with me was all based on attraction?" Her voice was starting to quiver, and her eyes filled with tears.
"I really did like you, but-"
"But what? Now I bore you, is that it? Life is a routine now, and you want some variety, is that it?" Her voice was angry, and she almost yelled at him.
"So what if it is?", he yelled back, and she stepped back in surprise. "I did love you, but you've changed! You're not the same person I knew! When I fell in love, I fell in love with the spunky, fierce and independent Kimana, not the meek pushover you are now.
And what is up with you and Tala? You're always like, Tala said this, Tala said that, Tala Tala Tala! If you like him so much, why don't you go and slee-"
"ENOUGH!" Her voice tore in fury, and the bridge of her nose went bright pink.
"How dare you talk like that? Tala is my best friend, and I've known him longer than I've known you! You have no right to talk about us like that! After all that's happened between you and me, how do you have the heart to speak like this? And I listened to every goddamn thing you told me, because I loved you, because I wanted to please you and make you happy, and now you talk like this! To think that I loved you…"
He couldn't take it anymore. Without thinking about his actions, he lashed out at her, slapping her across her cheek. Kimana's eyes opened wide and she just stood there staring at him. Her hand automatically went to her cheek, and it stung when she touched it.
She closed her eyes in defeat and continued in a soft tone "I gave you my best but apparently you need more. I tried to satisfy you, but my methods were wrong I guess…" she exhaled softly "I've kept you back long enough. You can go now, I wont be a bother to you any more, Mr. Hiwatari. Good bye."
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That brought Kai back to the present. He looked at his hand, the same that slapped the one he loved no more than six months ago.
He felt ashamed and guilty. He had made her go through the pain of thinking that she was at fault, whereas it was actually his immature insecurity and stupidity that made him act the way he did. What a total jerk he had been. He could still remember the pain and sadness in her voice when she told her last good-bye. Thunder rumbled somewhere in the distance.
He stood there staring at her door, debating whether to knock or not. He felt certain that she would not even let him inside the house, would probably yell that he was an insensitive prick and ask him to forget that she even existed, or to go away before she did something he would regret.
Why was he standing there in the first place? Well, that was because he was a first class idiot who couldn't keep the few friends he had, and if he didn't tell anyone the contents of his messed up head, he'd totally lose it. He had no other options left, and he definitely didn't want to go to either Tala or Bryan. They were his best friends and all, but he didn't dare after what happened between him and Kimana. They usually sided with her, not that he could expect anyone to side with him this time around…
He steeled himself and bravely walked up the few steps of her front porch and rang the doorbell. Suddenly, he felt his resolve melt away like butter left out in the afternoon sun.
The door opened after a few minutes and Kai readied himself for a barrage of insults. Kimana opened the door, clad only in an oversized gray knit sweater. She looked the same, except there were dark circles under her brilliant blue-green eyes.
At first she just stood there, her eyes slightly wide with surprise. The insults he was expecting never came. Instead, there was a soft "Kai?" It seemed like she was still trying to register the fact that he was standing there, in front of her.
After what seemed like eternity, but was only a second or so, she spoke again. "What on earth are you doing here? In this pouring rain?" She was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed against her chest. The look on her face was remotely curious and her voice was even. No sarcasm at all.
Now it was Kai's turn to be surprised. All he could manage was "We- uh I need to talk. To you."
The barest hint of a smile flickered across her refined features. "I can guess that that would be the only reason for your coming here, but why in this nasty weather?"
Kai looked a little uncomfortable. "Because"-
"Come in," She interrupted, "Before you catch something." She stepped aside and held the door open for him. "How long were you standing out there anyway?"
Kai was sill a little confused. The first thing that struck him was her tired face. She looked vulnerable. He hated himself for it. She led him into her living room. 'Our living room', Kai thought. And he was filled with old memories and endless shame. He waited on the sofa, while she went upstairs to find a towel.
He could only sit there; a little dumbstruck at what had just happened. He didn't know how to react, because this scenario was totally different from how he had imagined it to be.
Kimana came back, towel in one hand, some clothes in the other. She handed everything to him. "Here, these are Bryan's, but I'm sure they'll fit you fine…" No surprise there. Bryan usually slept over if Tala was not at home. She settled herself opposite to him. "What did you wanna talk about?"
Kai looked down at the clothes in his hands, unsure of what to say and how to say it. She sighed and took the towel from him, and began to dry his hair. "Something's wrong, isn't it?" she asked, cupping his face in her hand, making him look up into her face. She took one good look at him and knew instantly that something was off. "What's wrong? What aren't you telling me?" she spoke gently, stroking his cheek.
That was enough for the dam of emotions to break. He buried his face in her stomach, letting the tears fall unrestrained down his cheeks. He was beginning to sob and hiccough uncontrollably. Kimana placed her arms around his neck, hugging him, and stroking his hair.
"Tell me what's bothering you, love. Don't keep it from me…" She tried again, but by then the concern was beginning to show in her voice. "You know you can tell me anything…"
"I- I- wa-was ra- ra- raped" Kai finally stuttered out. He could feel the instant tightening of the arms around him, instinctively pulling him closer, as a mother pulls her frightened child into her warmth.
"What! Where? When!" The tension and worry in Kimana's voice was very evident despite her rapidly spoken one word questions.
"Th- three days back…I-I was at a bar…th- then I decided that I had enough, wa- was drunk already, an- and on my way out, t- to my car, a g- guy, he- he- fo- forced himself (sniff) on m- me…I couldn't do any thing! (sniff) I hate my- myself. I- I could only th- think of you… I've missed you Kimmi! I still love you! I- I'm really sorry for what I did! Don't think I m using you, please, I always really loved you, I wanted to be near you again but I was too proud to come back, I-"
"Sshhh… calm down, you're with me now, right? That's all that really matters. Don't blame yourself. Why didn't you come to me earlier? I was so worried about you Kai…you could've called me at least once…I tried calling but the operator told me you were busy…"
Kai lifted his face to look at her, tears still flowing, "Y- You don't hate me?"
"Hate you? Why would I do that? Besides, I can't…I couldn't" she shook her head "not even if I tried…I was a bit mad at you but I could never hate you. What made you think that?"
"I'm so sorry, for everything I made you go through…"
"It's all right, forget about it. I missed you too, so much…" It hurt her to see her proud and fierce Kai like this. A tear rolled down her cheek but she was quick to wipe it off. "Would you like to go to bed now? Or are you hungry? You wanna eat anything?"
"I want to sleep."
"Where? With me or alone? I can sleep in the guest bedroom…"
"With you..."
"Hmm…come on then, let's go upstairs, shall we?" Kimana took his face in her hands and gently placed a kiss on his fore head. She led him to their bedroom, and opened the door for him, leading him inside. Sitting down on the bed, she furnished her lap for Kai to lay his head on, and he readily obliged. He immediately curled up into a fetal ball, snuggled close against her. Running her fingers through his hair, she noted with a content smile that he had stopped sobbing and his breaths were becoming more even. She closed her eyes and dozed off herself.
The bed side phone rang with a low buzzing sound. Kimana answered, trying not to disturb Kai. "Hello?"
"Hi! Were you sleeping?" Tala's cheerful voice responded.
"Ha-ha. What a brilliant question to ask in the middle of the night. OF course I was sleeping!"
"Oh, so I woke you up, did I? I must remember to award myself for it…"
"Hn."
"So how're you feeling?"
"A lot better! Kai's back and-"
"What on earth? What's he doing there? Wait till Bry hears-"
"You utter a single word about this to Bryan, and you can rest assured that I will never even look at you again!" She lowered her voice when she noticed that Kai had begun to squirm.
"But don't you remember how broken you were because of him! Do you even remember the state I found you in when I came home that day? Do you know how scared I was? Huh?"
"Tala…"
"And now he decides he wants you again and comes back, and you agree, putting all that behind? Have you honestly gone mad?"
"He was raped, Tala."
"What?"
"I'm serious. It happened three days ago. He broke down in my arms like a lost child! What would you have done if it was Bryan in Kai's place?"
"I- I guess I would've done the same…"
"See? No matter what he did to me, I still love him. It may sound corny, but that's the truth. And seeing him like that…It broke my heart. My poor Kai…"
"Hmm… OK, but since I hate keeping secrets from Bryan, you have to tell him soon."
"Of course I will! Thank you so much! You're the best!"
"Heh. I know. Goodnight, princess…"
"Haha. Good night to you too, Tal. Love you."
"Love you too." (click)
She stroked the shark fins on Kai's cheek and fell into a peaceful sleep.
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Kai had, infact, not yet slept, and he had heard every word of the conversation. She had defended him against Tala, of all people. Even after all he made her go through, she still loved him. He thought that she would tell him to go away and carry on with his screwed up life, but here he was, sleeping on her lap. He thought that she would probably rub it in his face, but she accepted, understood, and gave him a shoulder to cry on, all without the slightest hard feeling. So many thoughts, so many pre- conceived notions, all of them proved wrong…
He reached out and wiped away a single tear that squeezed itself out of his love's eyes. Her skin felt the same, soft and exquisite. The tear was warm, and disappeared almost the instant it touched the cloth of his sleeve, absorbed by the soft fabric.
'This must be what love's like…' he thought. 'Warm and easily absorbed by almost anything and everything.' But again, that was only a thought. It might or not be right. After all, these are all there are when thinking about something as complicated as a woman:
Misconceptions.
!*!*!*!*! Fini !*!*!*!*!
Thanks a lot for reading! I think it's better than before… But still somehow doesn't seem right.
I would still love it if you reviewed, though!
