Wrap Me In Your Wings
By Tahiri Solo
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Disclaimer: All the characters, places and such mentioned in this story belong to Lucasfilm. Unfortunately, I own nothing. But if I did, you better believe the books would not be ANYTHING like they are now. Also, if this bears any resemblance to stories written by others, that is purely coincidental. No infringement is intended.
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Author's Rambling on Star By Star: Troy Dennings is evil. Evil. The very essence of evilness. After what he did to Anakin (and Lusa, and Lyric) he is just so low that he doesn't even qualify as a human being. I mean, the Sithspawned idiot made Anakin suffer so much! And Tahiri!
Okay, I will admit, the piece of crap had one bright spot: Jacen and Tenel Ka. They were so fun to watch together. Really made me smile. (Tenel Ka and Jacen are probably my favorite couple of all time. I even have a Tenel Ka/Jacen background on my computer. Yes, I do. No joke.) But still, they didn't make up for everything else. I was happy that Zekk was FINALLY back (I've only been waiting for him to show up since like book ONE), but he was so OOC!!! Zekk DOES NOT act like that!!!!! OMG he was so annoying!! I wanted to slap him, despite the fact that I'm crazy obsessed with him.
And Danni Quee. Why the heck did they have to bring HER back?!?!?! Ugh I hated her!!!! She needs to die or something!!! Just get rid of her!!! (Like I said, Jacen and Tenel Ka are my fave couple. No wonder I hate the twit.)
So yeah, three goods things: Jacen wasn't such an idiot, he was actually really cool (and I was thrilled to death that he was working with animals again. I'm an animal rights activist, and that was always one of my favorite things about Jacen.), and he was back with TK. (Like he should be. Forget the obnoxious giddy vacant-brained bit of decorative fluff -Danni - as Mara used the term once.) And Zekk was back. Though he was so horrible it really served no purpose. I couldn't believe they made him like that!! He used to be so SWEET!!!! These authors need some sense beaten into their thick skulls!!!!
Troy Dennings, if you would ever happen to read this, I have a message for you.
In the words of the Yuuzhan Vong: Do-ro'ik vong pratte!
(Don't know what it means? The translation is somewhere, in Jedi Eclipse I think.)
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A/N: Yep, after that huge rambling, I still put an A/N! See why I'm Tahiri Solo? I never shut up! LOL! If this fic is kind of stupid, well, think of it this way: Even if it's dumb, it can't be as stupid as killing Anakin off the way they did. Right?
Right.
And yeah, I know Jaina isn't in this. I'm writing a separate fic about her. (And yes, Zekk is in it, and no, he's not like he was in Star By Star.) So expect that soon, because if all goes well, it will be here over Thanksgiving break. (!!!!!!)
I'm shutting up now. Go on and read the fic, and don't forget to review!! ^_*
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Empty.
That was how she felt. Empty. Lost. Afraid.
Anguished.
Anakin was gone. Her Anakin, her best friend in the galaxy, her savior, her only family, her soulmate.
He had meant the worlds to her. And now he was - dead.
Tahiri flung herself facedown on her bed, and for the seemingly thousandth time since his death, wept.
"Why couldn't you have just slowed down?" she demanded of the empty room between her sobs. "If you'd stopped for just a little while to heal yourself . . . Anakin, what made you leave me like that?" Her words were punctuated by an anguished wail.
Tahiri couldn't help feeling as though Anakin had abandoned her on purpose. He must have known what he meant to her. So, with that knowledge, how had he allowed himself to die, to leave her so abruptly?
There was something else that ate away at her as well. She knew that people who had crossed over to become one with the Force could show themselves to the living.
Anakin apparently hadn't even cared enough to stop by for just a minute, to comfort her one last time, now that she needed him most.
Tahiri nearly crumbled. She had never before felt so alone, so desperate. Not even when she had been in the clutches of the Yuuzhan Vong.
But, just as she was thinking that, she suddenly felt a warmth wrap around her and a faint wind across her cheek, as if it were someone's breath.
She stiffened. Whatever it was, it felt like Anakin.
Tahiri sucked in her breath and tried in vain to reach out to him, to brush his mind with hers, to hold him once more.
But no matter how hard she tried, she could not grip him. So instead, she relaxed and let him hold onto her.
At first she thought that it may be an illusion that her mind, wracked with grief, had conjured up.
But it was undoubtedly Anakin.
Tahiri breathed deeply, savoring his presence for however long it might stay wrapped so comfortingly around her. "Anakin," she whispered, almost inaudibly. "Don't leave me again. I need you here. I need you."
No response came, but his spirit wrapped itself even tighter around her, and Tahiri sighed. For the first time in longer than she could remember, since even before his death, she felt safe and protected.
Despite her struggle to stay awake and be with Anakin, she found herself drifting irrevocably towards sleep.
The last thing she felt was a soft pressure at her lips, like a tender kiss.
Anakin stood watching Tahiri, tears in his eyes. His heart ached so powerfully that it seemed to be trying to twist its way out of his chest.
He had thought he had felt guilt when Chewbacca had died.
This was worse.
If only he had taken the time to go into a healing trance. Then Tahiri wouldn't be so lost now. Even through the clouding veil of death, he felt her pain as deeply as if it were his own. It tore at him, gnawed at his heart.
He couldn't leave her like this. He couldn't.
Anakin grimly made up his mind. Walking back over to her bed, he bent and kissed her lightly on the forehead. "I'll be back, Tahiri," he whispered. "That I swear."
He would come back to her, no matter what it took.
And for that, he would need his brother.
Jacen Solo lay on a bunk aboard the Errant Venture, too lost in thought to sleep. He had been sent by his uncle, Master Skywalker, on a rescue mission to free Jedi slaves held on a Vong-controlled backwater planet. His partner for the mission was his longtime friend Tenel Ka, because his uncle said they worked best when they were together. It was true, Jacen mused. For the two of them, fighting together was more than a talent, it was pure instinct. It was natural for them to immediately move to each other's side when the situation was getting hot, to cover each other's backs.
And sure enough, working together, they had had a relatively easy time freeing the captive Jedi, one of whom was their old friend Lusa, a beautiful centaur girl who had been presumed dead. But in fact, she was merely held prisoner. Jacen was relieved that she was not dead - he had known her for nearly thirteen years - but that did not even come close to healing the growing rift in his spirit that was threatening to widen and completely engulf him.
His younger brother was dead, and his beloved twin sister was prowling the galaxy, her location unknown even to him, taking revenge on the Yuuzhan Vong for Anakin's death.
Jacen was afraid for her. She was using the Force so recklessly, and was so near, if not already on, the dark side. He trusted his sister's abilities as a fighter, but she was too grief-stricken to reason properly. It would be so easy for her to be killed, far from her family - what was left of it - and any human companionship.
Losing Anakin had been torture, despite their differences. He could not stand to lose Jaina too.
Jacen sighed deeply and absently stroked Tenel Ka's hair. She was laying curled up against him, sound asleep, in one of the Errant Venture's many bunks. She had come into his room late the night before to talk to him, and they had talked long into the night, held each other, and cried. She had eventually fallen asleep in his arms.
Tenel Ka felt Anakin's loss deeply, as well. She had never had any siblings, and she had told Jacen that she had sort of adopted Anakin as her little brother. But more than anything, she wanted to be a rock for Jacen, as he had been for her years ago during her accident.
Jacen smiled despite himself. Tenel Ka understood him in a way that even Jaina did not, and in some ways, his bond with the warrior girl was deeper than the one he shared with his sister.
Jacen knew that he would willingly give his life for Tenel Ka, with no regrets. He had missed her so much after they all graduated from the academy. There was no denying that he had been in love with her then, and truthfully still was, but she had told him that was not the right path for the both of them. It wasn't that she didn't want to be together, but she was afraid her grandmother might have him murdered.
Jacen understood, but he had still missed her. Nothing could take his mind of her, though he tried. In an attempt to get himself over her, thinking that things would never have a chance to work between the two of them, he had tried making himself fall for the pretty, Force-strong Danni Quee.
But he never really loved, nor even truly liked her. Danni was nice enough, certainly, but absolutely paled in comparison to Tenel Ka. Danni had been so timid, so frightened of things. She lacked the inner strength that Jacen had always admired so much in Tenel Ka.
He could not have been any more grateful that he was with his princess once again.
Tenel Ka nestled closer against Jacen in her sleep, pressing her face into his chest. Jacen smiled and closed his eyes, deciding that although he could have watched her forever - she was so peaceful when she slept - he would have to get some sleep sooner or later.
But just as he was about to drift into unconsciousness, he heard a distinctly familiar voice that Jacen would have known anywhere, despite the fact that it now sounded echoed.
"Jacen. Jacen, wake up."
Jacen's brandy eyes blinked opened in shock, and focused on a ghostly form of his brother.
"Anakin," he gasped in shock.
"I need your help," Anakin said without preamble. "I was just watching Tahiri. She's so lost, Jacen. I was all she had, and I have to get back to her. I have to."
"Anakin, how?" Jacen asked softly, wondering if he was dreaming. "You're -"
"I know that," Anakin said impatiently. "But Tahiri needs me, Jacen. I can't let her stay by herself like this. I love her too much. I have to get back to her."
"I don't understand what you're asking me," Jacen said in confusion. "I'm trying to watch out for her, as best I can. Uncle Luke is sending me off on all these missions, but I always make sure that someone is there for her."
"I know I can hardly ask you to do this, but I have to. I love Tahiri too much not to. I need you to find a way to get me back into my body."
Jacen's jaw dropped. "Anakin, I have no idea how to do that. I would give anything to be able to, and you know that, but I can't see how . . ."
"Jacen, please." Anakin's voice was ragged with desperation. "You were the only one out of all of us who were able to do the battle meld. You know things in the Force that no one else can do. If anyone can do this, it's you. I can't be apart from Tahiri like this. It's tearing me apart, watching her this way."
Jacen saw the tears form in his ghostly brother's blue eyes, and he knew then that no matter what it took, he would somehow find a way to bring Anakin back to them, no matter what it took.
"I will," Jacen promised softly.
Then Anakin was gone.
Just then, Tenel Ka stirred and woke to find herself laying in Jacen's arms, who was softly crying. She sighed and brushed his cheek with her single hand.
"Jacen, what is it?"
Jacen closed his eyes. "Anakin was just here," he said, his voice low and rough.
Tenel Ka bit her lip to keep from crying as well, and she hugged him close. "Oh, Jacen," she whispered, laying her head on his shoulder.
Jacen held her tightly. "He said he wants me to find a way to bring him back. He needs to be with Tahiri."
Tenel Ka blinked once, but other than that, did not seem very surprised at all. "If anyone can do that, it's you, Jacen," she said with utter certainty.
"That's what Anakin said. The only thing is, I'm not so sure the two of you are right." Jacen sighed. "But I'll do anything to make sure that you are."
Two days later, Jacen and Tenel Ka had arrived back on Coruscant. Instead of going to see his family, Jacen immediately went off in search of the Jedi healer Cilghal, Tenel Ka following at his heels.
It did not take Jacen long to find her. The Jedi healer/ambassador was with Jacen's aunt Mara, at Luke's insistence, to check and make certain that her disease was indeed still completely gone.
Jacen waited until she had left them - Mara was indeed completely healthy - then caught up to her in the hall.
"I need you to do me a favor."
Cilghal looked at him and folded her webbed hands. "Anything, Jacen."
"Heal Anakin's body."
Despite the fact that Calamari's faces were hard to read, the shock could be plainly seen on the Jedi's fishlike face.
She tentatively reached out to place a webbed hand on Jacen's shoulder. "Jacen, your brother is dead. His spirit has departed. Healing his body will do no one any good."
"Just do it!" Jacen snapped.
"Jacen -"
"I'm no fool, Cilghal, whether or not you think I am. Heal Anakin's body," Jacen demanded, his voice a near growl.
Tenel Ka stood just behind his shoulder. "Listen to Jacen. He makes more sense than you could possibly comprehend."
Cilghal looked at them both, and it was clear that she thought that they had both cracked under the pressure. She sighed almost inaudibly, then said softly, "Anakin's death has hurt us all. He was loved and admired by many. His body is even now being held in a mortuary, and I could not retrieve it. Even if I could, and I healed his body, his spirit would not be in it."
"Cilghal, listen to me. I have not cracked. I have a logical plan -"
"I'm sorry, Jacen. Anakin's loss hurts me too. But there is nothing I can do."
With those last words, Cilghal turned and walked away.
Jacen turned to Tenel Ka, his eyes haunted. "Now what?" he asked. "Cilghal was the only healer we had, and if I can get Anakin's spirit back into his body, he would just die again. I'm no healer, and neither are you."
"Fact," Tenel Ka agreed. "Why don't we simply tell Cilghal of our plan?"
"Because she would tell Uncle Luke, and he would stop us. What I'm planning on doing is dangerous."
A troubled look briefly flashed in Tenel Ka's gray eyes, but she covered it well. "Not a fact," she disagreed.
"Tenel Ka, I know my uncle. He wouldn't let me do it - he might even try to do it himself. And not to slight him - Uncle Luke is one of the greatest Jedi who ever lived - but he couldn't do it. His connection to Anakin isn't strong enough."
"That's not what I meant," Tenel Ka said with a small smile. "Cilghal isn't the only healer that we have."
Their eyes met, and Tenel Ka knew that Jacen was thinking the same as she.
"Lusa."
Lusa, though wary of what they were about to do, was more than willing to help.
"I think I can heal his body so that there won't be any more internal bleeding, but it will be difficult. After I do that, the moment you have his spirit back, I'll have to start his
heart . . . Jacen, do you realize how hard this is going to be? I'll try, but I have my doubts. And are sure that you'll be able to bring him back? Just how are you going to do this?"
"Leave that to me," Jacen said. "Do you think you'll be able to do this?"
The centaur woman wrapped her arms around herself. "Do, or do not," she said softly. "There is no try."
"Then do," Jacen said firmly. "Let's go get his body."
Three hours later, they had rescued Anakin's body from the morgue. That had been a difficult, gruesome task, but now that part was over.
Now they were in Tenel Ka's ship, the Rock Dragon, hoping fervently that their plan would work.
Lusa was in the ship's medical bay, where she had been ever since they arrived, working tirelessly at Anakin's internal injuries. They knew that the task was more than daunting for her, but the centaur Jedi did not quaver.
Tenel Ka and Jacen, in the meantime, sat in the Rock Dragon's crew cabin, as requested by Lusa.
"Jacen, you never did tell me. What exactly is your plan?"
"I assume you've heard stories about how Uncle Luke was able to separate his spirit from his body and end up on some sort of astral plane."
Tenel Ka nodded warily, not sure she liked where she was going.
"I'm going to do the same thing. Only, once I'm there, I'm crossing over and finding Anakin."
"Jacen, have you lost your mind?" Tenel Ka nearly yelled. "That makes no sense! Do you actually think I would allow my best friend in the galaxy to do that?! You have cracked!"
Though she sounded - and looked - angry, Jacen knew that her outburst was born out of fear for him, not anger. "Shh, Tenel Ka, it's okay," he soothed.
"It is not okay!" she cried. "Once you cross over, just how are you planning on finding your way back? You are not leaving me, Jacen."
Jacen was stunned to find her trembling, and he drew her into his arms. She didn't fight; instead, she curled up willingly against him, laying her head on his shoulder.
"I'm coming back, Tenel Ka," he murmured into her hair. "I promise."
"You can't promise me that, and you know it," she replied softly.
"I'm going to anchor myself. You know how strong a connection I have with animals and living creatures. I'm going to anchor myself to life scattered all over the planet. That will give me something to hang on to, to guide myself back with."
"No, you're not," Tenel Ka said firmly. "You're anchoring yourself to me."
"Oh, no," Jacen argued. "If I anchor myself to just one person or thing, if I'm not careful, then I might drag them with me."
"But plants and animals are not going to be able to keep a good grip on you. I can. And, Jacen - if you're not coming back, then I want to go with you." Tenel Ka's voice was a whisper. "I never told you about Cloud City, did I?"
"Tenel Ka, please. I don't want you to -"
"Jacen, just be quiet for a minute and listen to me. When you fell off Cloud City and I thought you were dead, I wanted to be dead myself. In fact, I tried to let go of Lowie's arm to follow you into the clouds."
Jacen sighed and tightened his grip on her. "Tenel Ka, that's not going to happen again."
"So you're going to use me as your anchor?"
"Tenel Ka, I don't want -"
"And I don't want to lose you! Jacen, please. Stronger together."
"You're too stubborn," Jacen said with a grin. "But you're right."
"This is a fact. Of course I am. Now, just hold me until Lusa is done."
So he did.
Finally, some hours later, Lusa trotted into the crew cabin and found Tenel Ka still in Jacen's arms, the two of them talking quietly.
"We're ready," she announced grimly. "He's as ready as I can make him."
Tenel Ka moved reluctantly from Jacen's embrace to walk over and support her centaur friend. "Lusa, you look awful. You have to rest."
Lusa nodded her head weakly. "True. I spent all my strength healing him."
Then she collapsed on the floor.
Tenel Ka looked down at her in alarm, but Jacen shook his head. "It's okay, Tenel Ka. Cighal told me that she sometimes collapses after a really hard healing."
Tenel Ka nodded. "Should we go on without her?"
"No." Jacen shook his head. "We need her to be here when I get Anakin's spirit back."
Tenel Ka moved to his side. "Then keep holding me till she wakes up."
Finally, Lusa was awake and rested, and they were ready to begin.
Jacen looked over at Tenel Ka, and was startled to see that she was crying. She went to him and wrapped her arm around his neck, and before he even knew what she was doing, kissed him fiercely.
Jacen kissed her back, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close against his chest, feeling her tears fall on his cheeks.
Their kiss intensified in passion, and they would not have even been capable of breaking it except for the fact that Lusa finally stomped on Jacen's foot with her hoof, making him pull back in surprise.
"Lusa, what was that for?!"
She shrugged her bare shoulders. "I feared you two would suffocate."
Tenel Ka and Jacen both turned slightly pink, but laughed. Tenel Ka moved back into Jacen's arms and rested her forehead against his. "Are you ready to link now?" she whispered.
"Fact," Jacen whispered back, making her chuckle softly. He then undid all of his barriers against her - they were not conscious barriers, but rather, unconscious ones that he had had for longer than he could even remember. He never purposefully kept Tenel Ka out of his thoughts and mind.
She did the same, and gasped softly as his mind flooded hers, filling her with the strongest sense of completeness. Jacen had always been like her missing half of her soul, the half she didn't even know was missing until she found him.
If she lost him, she didn't know what she'd do.
They kissed again, hard and fiercely, her arm around his neck and his around her waist, trying to say goodbye in the only way they had time for, in case he wasn't able to come back.
There was no time for them to truly express their feelings. Jacen sensed somehow that this had to be done as soon as possible, so one kiss would be all they had to convey years of pent up feelings.
They finally pulled away at the sound of Lusa impatiently tapping her hoof on the floor.
"What now?" Tenel Ka exclaimed angrily. "Do you want to make out with him yourself before this is over?"
"I think you'd kill me if I ever tried," Lusa replied evenly.
"Fact," Tenel Ka agreed with forced good nature, then turned back to Jacen, giving him one last lingering kiss.
Jacen kissed her forehead softly, then, with there being no other words they could say, knelt beside Anakin's body, which was laying on the medical bay's working table/pallet. He closed his eyes and drew himself inward with the Force.
Tenel Ka watched with her mind's eye as Jacen's spirit willingly left his body, crossing over to a place that she could not follow.
Her cool gray eyes filling with tears, Tenel Ka sat next to him and kissed him softly on the lips, though she knew that he was now beyond sensations such as touch.
"Come back to me, my love," she whispered. "Please."
Jacen blinked furiously as he was suddenly surrounded by a bright light.
"So this is what it's like to be dead," he muttered once his eyes had adjusted. "Now to find my brother."
"I'm right here, Jasa. I've been waiting for you."
Jacen turned to see Anakin standing behind him, shimmering with a faint blue light.
"You actually did it," Anakin said, his voice filled with awe and respect. "How?"
"Save it for later. I need to get you back now, unless you've decided you'd be better off without Tahiri?"
"Tahiri," Anakin whispered hoarsely, a deep yearning evident in his voice and eyes.
"I'll take that as a, 'Get me back home now'," Jacen said, smiling slightly. "I want to get back to Tenel Ka anyway. Link to me."
Anakin nodded wordlessly and did so. Jacen bound his brother tightly to him, making absolutely certain that when he left, Anakin would too.
When he was done, Jacen stretched out in the Force to Tenel Ka.
*I'm coming. Tell Lusa to get ready for Anakin. Are you ready?*
She sent no words, but he felt her affirmative feeling, and grinned at his younger brother. "It's time to go, Anakin."
"I'm coming, Tahiri," Anakin whispered. "Hold on just a little while longer, baby."
Jacen strengthened his bond with Tenel Ka, and she did the same, the end result bringing Jacen back to his own body, and Anakin to his.
As soon as Lusa felt Anakin's spirit returning, she jump started his heart, making the young man yelp.
"Sithspawn! You didn't need to do that, Lusa! LUSA?! I thought you were dead!"
Lusa took one look at him and began to laugh delightedly. "It worked! Jacen, it worked!"
But Jacen was laying in a heap on the floor.
Tenel Ka was kneeling beside him, frantically checking his pulse points for signs of life.
After several tense moments, she sighed in relief. "It's okay. He's still with us. Just unconscious."
At that moment, Jacen stirred and sat up. "Did it work?"
Then his eyes widened as he saw Anakin, awake and eyes bright. Jacen got up from where he lay on the floor and pulled his brother into a fierce embrace, which Anakin, to his surprise, willingly returned.
Jacen was the first to pull away. "Don't you ever put me through that again, Little Brother," he said gruffly, but affectionately ruffling Anakin's hair. "If you get yourself killed again you're answering to me."
Anakin grinned. "Can I see Tahiri now? Where is she?" He tried to sit up, but Lusa pushed him back.
"Just a minute, young man! You're not going anywhere till I've checked you over! You were dead you know!"
Despite Anakin's impatient protests, Lusa kept him there for another standard hour, running tests, until she deemed him healthy enough to go.
"Thank the Force," Anakin said, pushing himself up off the table, and wincing as his feet touched the floor. "Ouch. I'm more than a little stiff. Now, where is Tahiri?"
"Room 463," Jacen said. "It's right down the hall."
Anakin nodded and practically ran from the room.
As he was hurriedly making his way to room 463, Anakin suddenly heard a screaming coming from down the hall.
Almost instantly, Anakin recognized the voice as Tahiri's, and his heart nearly stopped once again in his chest. It was the most awful sound he had ever heard - intense grief mixed with physical pain and more than a touch of madness.
Anakin, despite sill being weak, ran the rest of the way to her room, and threw open the door.
To be greeted by a horrible sight.
Tahiri was standing at the wall, shaking uncontrollably and screaming as she hit the window with her fists. She had already broken the glass and her hands were bleeding profusely. The blood had sprayed up to her face and hair, and stained her orange academy jumpsuit.
She suddenly dropped to her knees amidst the shards of glass, oblivious to the bits that embedded themselves in her skin. Before Anakin could react, she snatched up the largest piece of glass she could find and turned her wrist up, positioning the shard of glass directly above it.
Anakin was across the room before she could even get it halfway to her wrist, and he grabbed the glass away from her, embracing her tightly from behind.
She fought, screaming and kicking out at him, but Anakin never let go.
"Shh, baby, stop. It's okay, it's okay . . .I'm here . . . Everything is all right . . ."
Tahiri continued to scream, out of her mind with grief and not believing that it could possibly be Anakin. Anakin let her scream for several minutes, simply holding her and whispering into her hair.
Then finally, Anakin turned her around in his arms to face him. She refused to look at him, but he tilted her chin up gently with his hand, forcing her to gaze up into his ice blue eyes, and he felt her shock through the Force.
"A - Anakin?" she whispered.
"It's me," he said with a smile, touching her cheek.
Tahiri stared openmouthed for a moment, then screamed. She jumped up into his arms, wrapping her legs around her waist, and began kissing his entire face and neck, clinging to him as if for dear life.
Anakin pulled her hard against his chest, needing to feel her as much as she needed to feel him, then found her mouth with his. Tahiri trembled uncontrollably as Anakin kissed her with an ardent desperation, his tongue briefly playing across her soft lips.
Tahiri was unable to do much more than tremble in Anakin's arms, knowing with utter certainty that he had indeed been dead, but also knowing with the same conviction that he was now alive. She knew she had gone insane over his death, but the feel of his rough lips pressing so hard against hers was the most real thing she had ever felt. It was not an illusion.
Anakin gently pulled back from Tahiri's lips and began kissing her neck, making her tremble even harder.
"Anakin," she breathed. "Anakin." Just saying his name again felt so good. "What - what happened? How did you - come back?"
He stopped kissing her neck and straightened, but never loosened his grip on her. "Jacen went and brought me back. It's a long story, and I'm not even quite sure how he did it. You'll have to ask him. The important thing is, I'm back, and I'm never leaving you again."
"You promise?"
Anakin grinned down at her. "That I swear."
About twenty minutes later, the door to Tahiri's room burst open and Anakin's entire family, except for his sister, burst in. Han was the first to reach Anakin, and he pulled his son forcibly away from Tahiri, who had been held tightly in his arms.
Han had Anakin in a nearly crushing embrace before Anakin could even blink, and then Leia ran over and threw her arms around them both, burying her face in her youngest son's shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably. Soon, Anakin was in the middle of a giant mob consisting of almost every single member of his family, even his adoptive "uncle" Lando Calrission. Somehow, in the midst of all the chaos, Anakin managed to get one arm around Tahiri's shoulders, and kept her close by his side, no matter who he was hugging.
Leia was sobbing the entire time, and, unbelievably, Anakin's aunt Mara even began crying as well.
"Sithspawn!" Mara exclaimed, wiping at her eyes. "Don't you ever do that to me again, or I will make you regret it!"
Anakin laughed and hugged her. "I know you would."
"I'm the woman who gave birth to you!" Leia exclaimed. "Don't I get hugged too?"
Anakin smiled and gave his mother a hug so fierce that she actually squeaked.
"Where's my sister?" Anakin finally asked, looking around the room.
Mara was the first to answer him. "No one knows, Anakin."
"What do you mean no one knows?!"
"She ran off, presumably to avenge you. We can't contact her."
"Oh, Sithspawn," Anakin whispered. "Jaya's gone? To the dark side?"
"We think so," Luke said softly.
Anakin closed his eyes tightly, and Tahiri squeezed his hand. "You have no idea where Jaina is?"
"If we did, we'd have already gone to her," Mara said. "Even Jacen can't find her - she's put up so many barriers - but he does know that she's still alive, somewhere. We just don't know where."
Tahiri rested her head on Anakin's shoulder, and from the way the young Jedi girl leaned against her nephew, Mara could tell that the two of them wanted - needed - to be alone.
Anakin had been dead, after all. It was only reasonable that the young couple needed to spend some time by themselves.
Mara's lip curled in an evil smile that was well-known to Luke.
*Mara, what are you thinking?*
She grinned but would not answer, and turned instead to her youngest nephew, who was currently buried in enthusiastic embraces.
"People! Anakin's just woken from the dead, literally. Let the boy breathe! Give him some space!"
Mara then began physically dragging her husband from the room.
Jacen, looking first at Mara then his brother and Tahiri, caught on to what she was doing quickly.
"Exactly. Listen to Mara. Give him some breathing room. Come on, Mom," he said, gently tugging his mother away from Anakin.
"Jacen, what are you -" Then Leia's eyes widened as she saw Tahiri curled up snuggly against her youngest son's side, and despite looking a complete and terrible mess, Tahiri looked more contented than she could have ever imagined.
With comprehension dawning on her, Leia slowly headed for the door. "Han, come on."
He looked at her in confusion, then at Anakin. His lip twitched as he noticed Tahiri, and fighting hard not to laugh, Han followed his wife out the door.
Mara was the last to leave. Before she slid the door silently shut, she winked at Anakin. "Be good, you two," she said mischievously, then she was gone.
As soon as they were alone, Tahiri melted into Anakin and pressed her face into his chest. Anakin buried his face in her hair, finding himself suddenly dangerously near tears.
Suddenly, Anakin pulled away slightly, bent, and scooped her up in his arms, one arm under her knees, the other supporting her shoulders.
Tahiri squeaked with surprise, then began laughing. She reached up and trailed her finger down the side of his face, and she felt him shudder slightly at her touch.
Tahiri smiled.
"I missed you so much," Anakin whispered. "I couldn't take it without you. That was why I had Jacen bring me back."
She had to fight against tears. "What was it like, being dead?" she whispered. She would have been afraid to ask that blunt a question with anyone else, but she knew that Anakin wouldn't mind. "Was it awful?"
Anakin squeezed his eyes shut. "It was . . .peaceful. You're one with the Force. You are the Force. It was amazing, but for me, it was hell without you there."
"You willingly left that deep a connection with the Force - for me?" Tahiri asked in shock.
"I need you, Tahiri," Anakin said simply. "Whether in life or death, I'm not complete without you by my side."
At his words, Tahiri began crying once more.
"Hey, hey," Anakin whispered soothingly. "Tahiri, it's okay. We're together now. That's all that matters. I'm never letting us get separated again."
When she didn't stop crying, Anakin sat down and put her gently in his lap, letting her cry into his chest and stroking her hair, murmuring soothing things to her.
She finally looked up at him with red eyes. "I can't understand what is wrong with you," she said, her voice a near whisper. "You could have almost any girl in the entire galaxy, and yet you want me."
"Damn right I do," Anakin whispered, his voice deep and husky.
Then he kissed her, a kiss filled with such smoldering passion that Tahiri very nearly fell off his lap in surprise. Anakin sensed this and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist to keep her from doing so. He ran his fingers through her hair, and she took his face in her hands, kissing him back with equal passion.
Their kiss grew in passion and intensity as they both finally let loose with all the grief and desperation they had felt at his death . . .and also more subtle feelings that had been building up inside them for years.
As their physical connection deepened, so did there mental connections. Tahiri gasped and pulled back abruptly when she realized she could no longer tell Anakin's thoughts from her own.
"What is it? Did I go too far?" Anakin asked worriedly.
Tahiri shook her head. "No. No, the kissing - it was nice. More than nice. Wonderful, in fact -" she said this with such conviction that Anakin grinned - "but it just kind of startled me when I realized I couldn't tell our thoughts apart."
Anakin smiled the famous lopsided Solo smile. "It wasn't that weird for me. When - when the Yuuzhan Vong had you, I could feel what they were doing to you."
He traced his finger over the scars still remaining on her forehead, which were now covered by curly bangs. "I felt them giving those to you. I could feel the pain, the blood going down my face and into my eyes . . .I smelled your breath, tasted your tears . . ."
Tahiri's eyes widened. "You never told me."
"I never thought it really mattered."
"You laserbrain," she said with a laugh. "Of course it matters. I felt your death, you know." Her voice instantly turned serious. "I didn't just sense it. I felt it physically. I thought I was dying. That - that moment was when I went insane."
Anakin pulled her closer against him, but not before she noticed the tears in his beautiful ice blue eyes. "I'm so sorry, baby," he whispered into her hair, rocking her gently back and forth. "I am so sorry. This is all my fault."
"How is it your fault? You didn't kill yourself."
"But I let myself die! If I'd stopped to go into a healing trance, none of this would have happened!"
Tahiri laughed despite herself. "Anakin, quit blaming yourself for things! You have some sort of complex! You did what you had to! You're back now, and that's all that matters."
"I would never, ever leave you," he said, his voice thick with the emotion and intensity of his words.
Tahiri raised her head to look him in the eye. "I know you wouldn't," she said simply, then kissed him again.
They didn't pull away till several long minutes later, panting and gasping for breath.
Grinning wickedly, Anakin begin tickling her.
Tahiri shrieked with surprise and fell off his lap, landing on her back on the bed, with her legs still across his. Anakin didn't stop tickling her, but continued until she was crying with laughter.
Tahiri, now crying and shrieking with laughter, began tickling him back.
This continued for some time, the two of them wrestling each other, each trying to get the upper hand. Anakin was much bigger and stronger than the petite Tahiri, but she still attacked fiercely.
That is, until she laughed so hard she fell off the bed.
"I'm fine by the way, you big oaf," Tahiri grunted from the floor. Anakin laughed.
"I know you are. I would have felt it if you weren't."
Just then, she leapt up from the floor and pounced on him, tickling him mercilessly.
"Tahiri!" Anakin yelped. He was at the disadvantage now; though she was small, she was now directly on top of him, and had him laughing too hard to get her off.
So instead, he tickled her back.
Finally, they both gave up, exhausted.
"Truce?" Anakin asked.
"Truce," Tahiri agreed, kissing him on the lips. She slid partway off him, keeping her upper body laying across his chest. She rested her head directly over his heart, listening to the steady, reassuring beat that told her he was truly there.
Anakin wrapped his arms around her, softly caressing her shoulders.
Tahiri melted at his touch, and sighed contentedly, then yawned.
Anakin kissed the top of her head. "Goodnight, Tahiri," he whispered, feeling her drift towards sleep.
Some time later, Anakin still lay there, awake and stroking her hair.
"You have no idea how much you mean to me, Tahiri," Anakin told the sleeping Tahiri softly. "I would give anything for you. You're my entire universe . . .I couldn't even stay one with the Force because you weren't right there with me. I can't live without you. I love you. I hope you know that."
Tahiri's green eyes blinked open, and she smiled at him. "I do."
By Tahiri Solo
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Disclaimer: All the characters, places and such mentioned in this story belong to Lucasfilm. Unfortunately, I own nothing. But if I did, you better believe the books would not be ANYTHING like they are now. Also, if this bears any resemblance to stories written by others, that is purely coincidental. No infringement is intended.
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Author's Rambling on Star By Star: Troy Dennings is evil. Evil. The very essence of evilness. After what he did to Anakin (and Lusa, and Lyric) he is just so low that he doesn't even qualify as a human being. I mean, the Sithspawned idiot made Anakin suffer so much! And Tahiri!
Okay, I will admit, the piece of crap had one bright spot: Jacen and Tenel Ka. They were so fun to watch together. Really made me smile. (Tenel Ka and Jacen are probably my favorite couple of all time. I even have a Tenel Ka/Jacen background on my computer. Yes, I do. No joke.) But still, they didn't make up for everything else. I was happy that Zekk was FINALLY back (I've only been waiting for him to show up since like book ONE), but he was so OOC!!! Zekk DOES NOT act like that!!!!! OMG he was so annoying!! I wanted to slap him, despite the fact that I'm crazy obsessed with him.
And Danni Quee. Why the heck did they have to bring HER back?!?!?! Ugh I hated her!!!! She needs to die or something!!! Just get rid of her!!! (Like I said, Jacen and Tenel Ka are my fave couple. No wonder I hate the twit.)
So yeah, three goods things: Jacen wasn't such an idiot, he was actually really cool (and I was thrilled to death that he was working with animals again. I'm an animal rights activist, and that was always one of my favorite things about Jacen.), and he was back with TK. (Like he should be. Forget the obnoxious giddy vacant-brained bit of decorative fluff -Danni - as Mara used the term once.) And Zekk was back. Though he was so horrible it really served no purpose. I couldn't believe they made him like that!! He used to be so SWEET!!!! These authors need some sense beaten into their thick skulls!!!!
Troy Dennings, if you would ever happen to read this, I have a message for you.
In the words of the Yuuzhan Vong: Do-ro'ik vong pratte!
(Don't know what it means? The translation is somewhere, in Jedi Eclipse I think.)
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A/N: Yep, after that huge rambling, I still put an A/N! See why I'm Tahiri Solo? I never shut up! LOL! If this fic is kind of stupid, well, think of it this way: Even if it's dumb, it can't be as stupid as killing Anakin off the way they did. Right?
Right.
And yeah, I know Jaina isn't in this. I'm writing a separate fic about her. (And yes, Zekk is in it, and no, he's not like he was in Star By Star.) So expect that soon, because if all goes well, it will be here over Thanksgiving break. (!!!!!!)
I'm shutting up now. Go on and read the fic, and don't forget to review!! ^_*
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Empty.
That was how she felt. Empty. Lost. Afraid.
Anguished.
Anakin was gone. Her Anakin, her best friend in the galaxy, her savior, her only family, her soulmate.
He had meant the worlds to her. And now he was - dead.
Tahiri flung herself facedown on her bed, and for the seemingly thousandth time since his death, wept.
"Why couldn't you have just slowed down?" she demanded of the empty room between her sobs. "If you'd stopped for just a little while to heal yourself . . . Anakin, what made you leave me like that?" Her words were punctuated by an anguished wail.
Tahiri couldn't help feeling as though Anakin had abandoned her on purpose. He must have known what he meant to her. So, with that knowledge, how had he allowed himself to die, to leave her so abruptly?
There was something else that ate away at her as well. She knew that people who had crossed over to become one with the Force could show themselves to the living.
Anakin apparently hadn't even cared enough to stop by for just a minute, to comfort her one last time, now that she needed him most.
Tahiri nearly crumbled. She had never before felt so alone, so desperate. Not even when she had been in the clutches of the Yuuzhan Vong.
But, just as she was thinking that, she suddenly felt a warmth wrap around her and a faint wind across her cheek, as if it were someone's breath.
She stiffened. Whatever it was, it felt like Anakin.
Tahiri sucked in her breath and tried in vain to reach out to him, to brush his mind with hers, to hold him once more.
But no matter how hard she tried, she could not grip him. So instead, she relaxed and let him hold onto her.
At first she thought that it may be an illusion that her mind, wracked with grief, had conjured up.
But it was undoubtedly Anakin.
Tahiri breathed deeply, savoring his presence for however long it might stay wrapped so comfortingly around her. "Anakin," she whispered, almost inaudibly. "Don't leave me again. I need you here. I need you."
No response came, but his spirit wrapped itself even tighter around her, and Tahiri sighed. For the first time in longer than she could remember, since even before his death, she felt safe and protected.
Despite her struggle to stay awake and be with Anakin, she found herself drifting irrevocably towards sleep.
The last thing she felt was a soft pressure at her lips, like a tender kiss.
Anakin stood watching Tahiri, tears in his eyes. His heart ached so powerfully that it seemed to be trying to twist its way out of his chest.
He had thought he had felt guilt when Chewbacca had died.
This was worse.
If only he had taken the time to go into a healing trance. Then Tahiri wouldn't be so lost now. Even through the clouding veil of death, he felt her pain as deeply as if it were his own. It tore at him, gnawed at his heart.
He couldn't leave her like this. He couldn't.
Anakin grimly made up his mind. Walking back over to her bed, he bent and kissed her lightly on the forehead. "I'll be back, Tahiri," he whispered. "That I swear."
He would come back to her, no matter what it took.
And for that, he would need his brother.
Jacen Solo lay on a bunk aboard the Errant Venture, too lost in thought to sleep. He had been sent by his uncle, Master Skywalker, on a rescue mission to free Jedi slaves held on a Vong-controlled backwater planet. His partner for the mission was his longtime friend Tenel Ka, because his uncle said they worked best when they were together. It was true, Jacen mused. For the two of them, fighting together was more than a talent, it was pure instinct. It was natural for them to immediately move to each other's side when the situation was getting hot, to cover each other's backs.
And sure enough, working together, they had had a relatively easy time freeing the captive Jedi, one of whom was their old friend Lusa, a beautiful centaur girl who had been presumed dead. But in fact, she was merely held prisoner. Jacen was relieved that she was not dead - he had known her for nearly thirteen years - but that did not even come close to healing the growing rift in his spirit that was threatening to widen and completely engulf him.
His younger brother was dead, and his beloved twin sister was prowling the galaxy, her location unknown even to him, taking revenge on the Yuuzhan Vong for Anakin's death.
Jacen was afraid for her. She was using the Force so recklessly, and was so near, if not already on, the dark side. He trusted his sister's abilities as a fighter, but she was too grief-stricken to reason properly. It would be so easy for her to be killed, far from her family - what was left of it - and any human companionship.
Losing Anakin had been torture, despite their differences. He could not stand to lose Jaina too.
Jacen sighed deeply and absently stroked Tenel Ka's hair. She was laying curled up against him, sound asleep, in one of the Errant Venture's many bunks. She had come into his room late the night before to talk to him, and they had talked long into the night, held each other, and cried. She had eventually fallen asleep in his arms.
Tenel Ka felt Anakin's loss deeply, as well. She had never had any siblings, and she had told Jacen that she had sort of adopted Anakin as her little brother. But more than anything, she wanted to be a rock for Jacen, as he had been for her years ago during her accident.
Jacen smiled despite himself. Tenel Ka understood him in a way that even Jaina did not, and in some ways, his bond with the warrior girl was deeper than the one he shared with his sister.
Jacen knew that he would willingly give his life for Tenel Ka, with no regrets. He had missed her so much after they all graduated from the academy. There was no denying that he had been in love with her then, and truthfully still was, but she had told him that was not the right path for the both of them. It wasn't that she didn't want to be together, but she was afraid her grandmother might have him murdered.
Jacen understood, but he had still missed her. Nothing could take his mind of her, though he tried. In an attempt to get himself over her, thinking that things would never have a chance to work between the two of them, he had tried making himself fall for the pretty, Force-strong Danni Quee.
But he never really loved, nor even truly liked her. Danni was nice enough, certainly, but absolutely paled in comparison to Tenel Ka. Danni had been so timid, so frightened of things. She lacked the inner strength that Jacen had always admired so much in Tenel Ka.
He could not have been any more grateful that he was with his princess once again.
Tenel Ka nestled closer against Jacen in her sleep, pressing her face into his chest. Jacen smiled and closed his eyes, deciding that although he could have watched her forever - she was so peaceful when she slept - he would have to get some sleep sooner or later.
But just as he was about to drift into unconsciousness, he heard a distinctly familiar voice that Jacen would have known anywhere, despite the fact that it now sounded echoed.
"Jacen. Jacen, wake up."
Jacen's brandy eyes blinked opened in shock, and focused on a ghostly form of his brother.
"Anakin," he gasped in shock.
"I need your help," Anakin said without preamble. "I was just watching Tahiri. She's so lost, Jacen. I was all she had, and I have to get back to her. I have to."
"Anakin, how?" Jacen asked softly, wondering if he was dreaming. "You're -"
"I know that," Anakin said impatiently. "But Tahiri needs me, Jacen. I can't let her stay by herself like this. I love her too much. I have to get back to her."
"I don't understand what you're asking me," Jacen said in confusion. "I'm trying to watch out for her, as best I can. Uncle Luke is sending me off on all these missions, but I always make sure that someone is there for her."
"I know I can hardly ask you to do this, but I have to. I love Tahiri too much not to. I need you to find a way to get me back into my body."
Jacen's jaw dropped. "Anakin, I have no idea how to do that. I would give anything to be able to, and you know that, but I can't see how . . ."
"Jacen, please." Anakin's voice was ragged with desperation. "You were the only one out of all of us who were able to do the battle meld. You know things in the Force that no one else can do. If anyone can do this, it's you. I can't be apart from Tahiri like this. It's tearing me apart, watching her this way."
Jacen saw the tears form in his ghostly brother's blue eyes, and he knew then that no matter what it took, he would somehow find a way to bring Anakin back to them, no matter what it took.
"I will," Jacen promised softly.
Then Anakin was gone.
Just then, Tenel Ka stirred and woke to find herself laying in Jacen's arms, who was softly crying. She sighed and brushed his cheek with her single hand.
"Jacen, what is it?"
Jacen closed his eyes. "Anakin was just here," he said, his voice low and rough.
Tenel Ka bit her lip to keep from crying as well, and she hugged him close. "Oh, Jacen," she whispered, laying her head on his shoulder.
Jacen held her tightly. "He said he wants me to find a way to bring him back. He needs to be with Tahiri."
Tenel Ka blinked once, but other than that, did not seem very surprised at all. "If anyone can do that, it's you, Jacen," she said with utter certainty.
"That's what Anakin said. The only thing is, I'm not so sure the two of you are right." Jacen sighed. "But I'll do anything to make sure that you are."
Two days later, Jacen and Tenel Ka had arrived back on Coruscant. Instead of going to see his family, Jacen immediately went off in search of the Jedi healer Cilghal, Tenel Ka following at his heels.
It did not take Jacen long to find her. The Jedi healer/ambassador was with Jacen's aunt Mara, at Luke's insistence, to check and make certain that her disease was indeed still completely gone.
Jacen waited until she had left them - Mara was indeed completely healthy - then caught up to her in the hall.
"I need you to do me a favor."
Cilghal looked at him and folded her webbed hands. "Anything, Jacen."
"Heal Anakin's body."
Despite the fact that Calamari's faces were hard to read, the shock could be plainly seen on the Jedi's fishlike face.
She tentatively reached out to place a webbed hand on Jacen's shoulder. "Jacen, your brother is dead. His spirit has departed. Healing his body will do no one any good."
"Just do it!" Jacen snapped.
"Jacen -"
"I'm no fool, Cilghal, whether or not you think I am. Heal Anakin's body," Jacen demanded, his voice a near growl.
Tenel Ka stood just behind his shoulder. "Listen to Jacen. He makes more sense than you could possibly comprehend."
Cilghal looked at them both, and it was clear that she thought that they had both cracked under the pressure. She sighed almost inaudibly, then said softly, "Anakin's death has hurt us all. He was loved and admired by many. His body is even now being held in a mortuary, and I could not retrieve it. Even if I could, and I healed his body, his spirit would not be in it."
"Cilghal, listen to me. I have not cracked. I have a logical plan -"
"I'm sorry, Jacen. Anakin's loss hurts me too. But there is nothing I can do."
With those last words, Cilghal turned and walked away.
Jacen turned to Tenel Ka, his eyes haunted. "Now what?" he asked. "Cilghal was the only healer we had, and if I can get Anakin's spirit back into his body, he would just die again. I'm no healer, and neither are you."
"Fact," Tenel Ka agreed. "Why don't we simply tell Cilghal of our plan?"
"Because she would tell Uncle Luke, and he would stop us. What I'm planning on doing is dangerous."
A troubled look briefly flashed in Tenel Ka's gray eyes, but she covered it well. "Not a fact," she disagreed.
"Tenel Ka, I know my uncle. He wouldn't let me do it - he might even try to do it himself. And not to slight him - Uncle Luke is one of the greatest Jedi who ever lived - but he couldn't do it. His connection to Anakin isn't strong enough."
"That's not what I meant," Tenel Ka said with a small smile. "Cilghal isn't the only healer that we have."
Their eyes met, and Tenel Ka knew that Jacen was thinking the same as she.
"Lusa."
Lusa, though wary of what they were about to do, was more than willing to help.
"I think I can heal his body so that there won't be any more internal bleeding, but it will be difficult. After I do that, the moment you have his spirit back, I'll have to start his
heart . . . Jacen, do you realize how hard this is going to be? I'll try, but I have my doubts. And are sure that you'll be able to bring him back? Just how are you going to do this?"
"Leave that to me," Jacen said. "Do you think you'll be able to do this?"
The centaur woman wrapped her arms around herself. "Do, or do not," she said softly. "There is no try."
"Then do," Jacen said firmly. "Let's go get his body."
Three hours later, they had rescued Anakin's body from the morgue. That had been a difficult, gruesome task, but now that part was over.
Now they were in Tenel Ka's ship, the Rock Dragon, hoping fervently that their plan would work.
Lusa was in the ship's medical bay, where she had been ever since they arrived, working tirelessly at Anakin's internal injuries. They knew that the task was more than daunting for her, but the centaur Jedi did not quaver.
Tenel Ka and Jacen, in the meantime, sat in the Rock Dragon's crew cabin, as requested by Lusa.
"Jacen, you never did tell me. What exactly is your plan?"
"I assume you've heard stories about how Uncle Luke was able to separate his spirit from his body and end up on some sort of astral plane."
Tenel Ka nodded warily, not sure she liked where she was going.
"I'm going to do the same thing. Only, once I'm there, I'm crossing over and finding Anakin."
"Jacen, have you lost your mind?" Tenel Ka nearly yelled. "That makes no sense! Do you actually think I would allow my best friend in the galaxy to do that?! You have cracked!"
Though she sounded - and looked - angry, Jacen knew that her outburst was born out of fear for him, not anger. "Shh, Tenel Ka, it's okay," he soothed.
"It is not okay!" she cried. "Once you cross over, just how are you planning on finding your way back? You are not leaving me, Jacen."
Jacen was stunned to find her trembling, and he drew her into his arms. She didn't fight; instead, she curled up willingly against him, laying her head on his shoulder.
"I'm coming back, Tenel Ka," he murmured into her hair. "I promise."
"You can't promise me that, and you know it," she replied softly.
"I'm going to anchor myself. You know how strong a connection I have with animals and living creatures. I'm going to anchor myself to life scattered all over the planet. That will give me something to hang on to, to guide myself back with."
"No, you're not," Tenel Ka said firmly. "You're anchoring yourself to me."
"Oh, no," Jacen argued. "If I anchor myself to just one person or thing, if I'm not careful, then I might drag them with me."
"But plants and animals are not going to be able to keep a good grip on you. I can. And, Jacen - if you're not coming back, then I want to go with you." Tenel Ka's voice was a whisper. "I never told you about Cloud City, did I?"
"Tenel Ka, please. I don't want you to -"
"Jacen, just be quiet for a minute and listen to me. When you fell off Cloud City and I thought you were dead, I wanted to be dead myself. In fact, I tried to let go of Lowie's arm to follow you into the clouds."
Jacen sighed and tightened his grip on her. "Tenel Ka, that's not going to happen again."
"So you're going to use me as your anchor?"
"Tenel Ka, I don't want -"
"And I don't want to lose you! Jacen, please. Stronger together."
"You're too stubborn," Jacen said with a grin. "But you're right."
"This is a fact. Of course I am. Now, just hold me until Lusa is done."
So he did.
Finally, some hours later, Lusa trotted into the crew cabin and found Tenel Ka still in Jacen's arms, the two of them talking quietly.
"We're ready," she announced grimly. "He's as ready as I can make him."
Tenel Ka moved reluctantly from Jacen's embrace to walk over and support her centaur friend. "Lusa, you look awful. You have to rest."
Lusa nodded her head weakly. "True. I spent all my strength healing him."
Then she collapsed on the floor.
Tenel Ka looked down at her in alarm, but Jacen shook his head. "It's okay, Tenel Ka. Cighal told me that she sometimes collapses after a really hard healing."
Tenel Ka nodded. "Should we go on without her?"
"No." Jacen shook his head. "We need her to be here when I get Anakin's spirit back."
Tenel Ka moved to his side. "Then keep holding me till she wakes up."
Finally, Lusa was awake and rested, and they were ready to begin.
Jacen looked over at Tenel Ka, and was startled to see that she was crying. She went to him and wrapped her arm around his neck, and before he even knew what she was doing, kissed him fiercely.
Jacen kissed her back, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close against his chest, feeling her tears fall on his cheeks.
Their kiss intensified in passion, and they would not have even been capable of breaking it except for the fact that Lusa finally stomped on Jacen's foot with her hoof, making him pull back in surprise.
"Lusa, what was that for?!"
She shrugged her bare shoulders. "I feared you two would suffocate."
Tenel Ka and Jacen both turned slightly pink, but laughed. Tenel Ka moved back into Jacen's arms and rested her forehead against his. "Are you ready to link now?" she whispered.
"Fact," Jacen whispered back, making her chuckle softly. He then undid all of his barriers against her - they were not conscious barriers, but rather, unconscious ones that he had had for longer than he could even remember. He never purposefully kept Tenel Ka out of his thoughts and mind.
She did the same, and gasped softly as his mind flooded hers, filling her with the strongest sense of completeness. Jacen had always been like her missing half of her soul, the half she didn't even know was missing until she found him.
If she lost him, she didn't know what she'd do.
They kissed again, hard and fiercely, her arm around his neck and his around her waist, trying to say goodbye in the only way they had time for, in case he wasn't able to come back.
There was no time for them to truly express their feelings. Jacen sensed somehow that this had to be done as soon as possible, so one kiss would be all they had to convey years of pent up feelings.
They finally pulled away at the sound of Lusa impatiently tapping her hoof on the floor.
"What now?" Tenel Ka exclaimed angrily. "Do you want to make out with him yourself before this is over?"
"I think you'd kill me if I ever tried," Lusa replied evenly.
"Fact," Tenel Ka agreed with forced good nature, then turned back to Jacen, giving him one last lingering kiss.
Jacen kissed her forehead softly, then, with there being no other words they could say, knelt beside Anakin's body, which was laying on the medical bay's working table/pallet. He closed his eyes and drew himself inward with the Force.
Tenel Ka watched with her mind's eye as Jacen's spirit willingly left his body, crossing over to a place that she could not follow.
Her cool gray eyes filling with tears, Tenel Ka sat next to him and kissed him softly on the lips, though she knew that he was now beyond sensations such as touch.
"Come back to me, my love," she whispered. "Please."
Jacen blinked furiously as he was suddenly surrounded by a bright light.
"So this is what it's like to be dead," he muttered once his eyes had adjusted. "Now to find my brother."
"I'm right here, Jasa. I've been waiting for you."
Jacen turned to see Anakin standing behind him, shimmering with a faint blue light.
"You actually did it," Anakin said, his voice filled with awe and respect. "How?"
"Save it for later. I need to get you back now, unless you've decided you'd be better off without Tahiri?"
"Tahiri," Anakin whispered hoarsely, a deep yearning evident in his voice and eyes.
"I'll take that as a, 'Get me back home now'," Jacen said, smiling slightly. "I want to get back to Tenel Ka anyway. Link to me."
Anakin nodded wordlessly and did so. Jacen bound his brother tightly to him, making absolutely certain that when he left, Anakin would too.
When he was done, Jacen stretched out in the Force to Tenel Ka.
*I'm coming. Tell Lusa to get ready for Anakin. Are you ready?*
She sent no words, but he felt her affirmative feeling, and grinned at his younger brother. "It's time to go, Anakin."
"I'm coming, Tahiri," Anakin whispered. "Hold on just a little while longer, baby."
Jacen strengthened his bond with Tenel Ka, and she did the same, the end result bringing Jacen back to his own body, and Anakin to his.
As soon as Lusa felt Anakin's spirit returning, she jump started his heart, making the young man yelp.
"Sithspawn! You didn't need to do that, Lusa! LUSA?! I thought you were dead!"
Lusa took one look at him and began to laugh delightedly. "It worked! Jacen, it worked!"
But Jacen was laying in a heap on the floor.
Tenel Ka was kneeling beside him, frantically checking his pulse points for signs of life.
After several tense moments, she sighed in relief. "It's okay. He's still with us. Just unconscious."
At that moment, Jacen stirred and sat up. "Did it work?"
Then his eyes widened as he saw Anakin, awake and eyes bright. Jacen got up from where he lay on the floor and pulled his brother into a fierce embrace, which Anakin, to his surprise, willingly returned.
Jacen was the first to pull away. "Don't you ever put me through that again, Little Brother," he said gruffly, but affectionately ruffling Anakin's hair. "If you get yourself killed again you're answering to me."
Anakin grinned. "Can I see Tahiri now? Where is she?" He tried to sit up, but Lusa pushed him back.
"Just a minute, young man! You're not going anywhere till I've checked you over! You were dead you know!"
Despite Anakin's impatient protests, Lusa kept him there for another standard hour, running tests, until she deemed him healthy enough to go.
"Thank the Force," Anakin said, pushing himself up off the table, and wincing as his feet touched the floor. "Ouch. I'm more than a little stiff. Now, where is Tahiri?"
"Room 463," Jacen said. "It's right down the hall."
Anakin nodded and practically ran from the room.
As he was hurriedly making his way to room 463, Anakin suddenly heard a screaming coming from down the hall.
Almost instantly, Anakin recognized the voice as Tahiri's, and his heart nearly stopped once again in his chest. It was the most awful sound he had ever heard - intense grief mixed with physical pain and more than a touch of madness.
Anakin, despite sill being weak, ran the rest of the way to her room, and threw open the door.
To be greeted by a horrible sight.
Tahiri was standing at the wall, shaking uncontrollably and screaming as she hit the window with her fists. She had already broken the glass and her hands were bleeding profusely. The blood had sprayed up to her face and hair, and stained her orange academy jumpsuit.
She suddenly dropped to her knees amidst the shards of glass, oblivious to the bits that embedded themselves in her skin. Before Anakin could react, she snatched up the largest piece of glass she could find and turned her wrist up, positioning the shard of glass directly above it.
Anakin was across the room before she could even get it halfway to her wrist, and he grabbed the glass away from her, embracing her tightly from behind.
She fought, screaming and kicking out at him, but Anakin never let go.
"Shh, baby, stop. It's okay, it's okay . . .I'm here . . . Everything is all right . . ."
Tahiri continued to scream, out of her mind with grief and not believing that it could possibly be Anakin. Anakin let her scream for several minutes, simply holding her and whispering into her hair.
Then finally, Anakin turned her around in his arms to face him. She refused to look at him, but he tilted her chin up gently with his hand, forcing her to gaze up into his ice blue eyes, and he felt her shock through the Force.
"A - Anakin?" she whispered.
"It's me," he said with a smile, touching her cheek.
Tahiri stared openmouthed for a moment, then screamed. She jumped up into his arms, wrapping her legs around her waist, and began kissing his entire face and neck, clinging to him as if for dear life.
Anakin pulled her hard against his chest, needing to feel her as much as she needed to feel him, then found her mouth with his. Tahiri trembled uncontrollably as Anakin kissed her with an ardent desperation, his tongue briefly playing across her soft lips.
Tahiri was unable to do much more than tremble in Anakin's arms, knowing with utter certainty that he had indeed been dead, but also knowing with the same conviction that he was now alive. She knew she had gone insane over his death, but the feel of his rough lips pressing so hard against hers was the most real thing she had ever felt. It was not an illusion.
Anakin gently pulled back from Tahiri's lips and began kissing her neck, making her tremble even harder.
"Anakin," she breathed. "Anakin." Just saying his name again felt so good. "What - what happened? How did you - come back?"
He stopped kissing her neck and straightened, but never loosened his grip on her. "Jacen went and brought me back. It's a long story, and I'm not even quite sure how he did it. You'll have to ask him. The important thing is, I'm back, and I'm never leaving you again."
"You promise?"
Anakin grinned down at her. "That I swear."
About twenty minutes later, the door to Tahiri's room burst open and Anakin's entire family, except for his sister, burst in. Han was the first to reach Anakin, and he pulled his son forcibly away from Tahiri, who had been held tightly in his arms.
Han had Anakin in a nearly crushing embrace before Anakin could even blink, and then Leia ran over and threw her arms around them both, burying her face in her youngest son's shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably. Soon, Anakin was in the middle of a giant mob consisting of almost every single member of his family, even his adoptive "uncle" Lando Calrission. Somehow, in the midst of all the chaos, Anakin managed to get one arm around Tahiri's shoulders, and kept her close by his side, no matter who he was hugging.
Leia was sobbing the entire time, and, unbelievably, Anakin's aunt Mara even began crying as well.
"Sithspawn!" Mara exclaimed, wiping at her eyes. "Don't you ever do that to me again, or I will make you regret it!"
Anakin laughed and hugged her. "I know you would."
"I'm the woman who gave birth to you!" Leia exclaimed. "Don't I get hugged too?"
Anakin smiled and gave his mother a hug so fierce that she actually squeaked.
"Where's my sister?" Anakin finally asked, looking around the room.
Mara was the first to answer him. "No one knows, Anakin."
"What do you mean no one knows?!"
"She ran off, presumably to avenge you. We can't contact her."
"Oh, Sithspawn," Anakin whispered. "Jaya's gone? To the dark side?"
"We think so," Luke said softly.
Anakin closed his eyes tightly, and Tahiri squeezed his hand. "You have no idea where Jaina is?"
"If we did, we'd have already gone to her," Mara said. "Even Jacen can't find her - she's put up so many barriers - but he does know that she's still alive, somewhere. We just don't know where."
Tahiri rested her head on Anakin's shoulder, and from the way the young Jedi girl leaned against her nephew, Mara could tell that the two of them wanted - needed - to be alone.
Anakin had been dead, after all. It was only reasonable that the young couple needed to spend some time by themselves.
Mara's lip curled in an evil smile that was well-known to Luke.
*Mara, what are you thinking?*
She grinned but would not answer, and turned instead to her youngest nephew, who was currently buried in enthusiastic embraces.
"People! Anakin's just woken from the dead, literally. Let the boy breathe! Give him some space!"
Mara then began physically dragging her husband from the room.
Jacen, looking first at Mara then his brother and Tahiri, caught on to what she was doing quickly.
"Exactly. Listen to Mara. Give him some breathing room. Come on, Mom," he said, gently tugging his mother away from Anakin.
"Jacen, what are you -" Then Leia's eyes widened as she saw Tahiri curled up snuggly against her youngest son's side, and despite looking a complete and terrible mess, Tahiri looked more contented than she could have ever imagined.
With comprehension dawning on her, Leia slowly headed for the door. "Han, come on."
He looked at her in confusion, then at Anakin. His lip twitched as he noticed Tahiri, and fighting hard not to laugh, Han followed his wife out the door.
Mara was the last to leave. Before she slid the door silently shut, she winked at Anakin. "Be good, you two," she said mischievously, then she was gone.
As soon as they were alone, Tahiri melted into Anakin and pressed her face into his chest. Anakin buried his face in her hair, finding himself suddenly dangerously near tears.
Suddenly, Anakin pulled away slightly, bent, and scooped her up in his arms, one arm under her knees, the other supporting her shoulders.
Tahiri squeaked with surprise, then began laughing. She reached up and trailed her finger down the side of his face, and she felt him shudder slightly at her touch.
Tahiri smiled.
"I missed you so much," Anakin whispered. "I couldn't take it without you. That was why I had Jacen bring me back."
She had to fight against tears. "What was it like, being dead?" she whispered. She would have been afraid to ask that blunt a question with anyone else, but she knew that Anakin wouldn't mind. "Was it awful?"
Anakin squeezed his eyes shut. "It was . . .peaceful. You're one with the Force. You are the Force. It was amazing, but for me, it was hell without you there."
"You willingly left that deep a connection with the Force - for me?" Tahiri asked in shock.
"I need you, Tahiri," Anakin said simply. "Whether in life or death, I'm not complete without you by my side."
At his words, Tahiri began crying once more.
"Hey, hey," Anakin whispered soothingly. "Tahiri, it's okay. We're together now. That's all that matters. I'm never letting us get separated again."
When she didn't stop crying, Anakin sat down and put her gently in his lap, letting her cry into his chest and stroking her hair, murmuring soothing things to her.
She finally looked up at him with red eyes. "I can't understand what is wrong with you," she said, her voice a near whisper. "You could have almost any girl in the entire galaxy, and yet you want me."
"Damn right I do," Anakin whispered, his voice deep and husky.
Then he kissed her, a kiss filled with such smoldering passion that Tahiri very nearly fell off his lap in surprise. Anakin sensed this and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist to keep her from doing so. He ran his fingers through her hair, and she took his face in her hands, kissing him back with equal passion.
Their kiss grew in passion and intensity as they both finally let loose with all the grief and desperation they had felt at his death . . .and also more subtle feelings that had been building up inside them for years.
As their physical connection deepened, so did there mental connections. Tahiri gasped and pulled back abruptly when she realized she could no longer tell Anakin's thoughts from her own.
"What is it? Did I go too far?" Anakin asked worriedly.
Tahiri shook her head. "No. No, the kissing - it was nice. More than nice. Wonderful, in fact -" she said this with such conviction that Anakin grinned - "but it just kind of startled me when I realized I couldn't tell our thoughts apart."
Anakin smiled the famous lopsided Solo smile. "It wasn't that weird for me. When - when the Yuuzhan Vong had you, I could feel what they were doing to you."
He traced his finger over the scars still remaining on her forehead, which were now covered by curly bangs. "I felt them giving those to you. I could feel the pain, the blood going down my face and into my eyes . . .I smelled your breath, tasted your tears . . ."
Tahiri's eyes widened. "You never told me."
"I never thought it really mattered."
"You laserbrain," she said with a laugh. "Of course it matters. I felt your death, you know." Her voice instantly turned serious. "I didn't just sense it. I felt it physically. I thought I was dying. That - that moment was when I went insane."
Anakin pulled her closer against him, but not before she noticed the tears in his beautiful ice blue eyes. "I'm so sorry, baby," he whispered into her hair, rocking her gently back and forth. "I am so sorry. This is all my fault."
"How is it your fault? You didn't kill yourself."
"But I let myself die! If I'd stopped to go into a healing trance, none of this would have happened!"
Tahiri laughed despite herself. "Anakin, quit blaming yourself for things! You have some sort of complex! You did what you had to! You're back now, and that's all that matters."
"I would never, ever leave you," he said, his voice thick with the emotion and intensity of his words.
Tahiri raised her head to look him in the eye. "I know you wouldn't," she said simply, then kissed him again.
They didn't pull away till several long minutes later, panting and gasping for breath.
Grinning wickedly, Anakin begin tickling her.
Tahiri shrieked with surprise and fell off his lap, landing on her back on the bed, with her legs still across his. Anakin didn't stop tickling her, but continued until she was crying with laughter.
Tahiri, now crying and shrieking with laughter, began tickling him back.
This continued for some time, the two of them wrestling each other, each trying to get the upper hand. Anakin was much bigger and stronger than the petite Tahiri, but she still attacked fiercely.
That is, until she laughed so hard she fell off the bed.
"I'm fine by the way, you big oaf," Tahiri grunted from the floor. Anakin laughed.
"I know you are. I would have felt it if you weren't."
Just then, she leapt up from the floor and pounced on him, tickling him mercilessly.
"Tahiri!" Anakin yelped. He was at the disadvantage now; though she was small, she was now directly on top of him, and had him laughing too hard to get her off.
So instead, he tickled her back.
Finally, they both gave up, exhausted.
"Truce?" Anakin asked.
"Truce," Tahiri agreed, kissing him on the lips. She slid partway off him, keeping her upper body laying across his chest. She rested her head directly over his heart, listening to the steady, reassuring beat that told her he was truly there.
Anakin wrapped his arms around her, softly caressing her shoulders.
Tahiri melted at his touch, and sighed contentedly, then yawned.
Anakin kissed the top of her head. "Goodnight, Tahiri," he whispered, feeling her drift towards sleep.
Some time later, Anakin still lay there, awake and stroking her hair.
"You have no idea how much you mean to me, Tahiri," Anakin told the sleeping Tahiri softly. "I would give anything for you. You're my entire universe . . .I couldn't even stay one with the Force because you weren't right there with me. I can't live without you. I love you. I hope you know that."
Tahiri's green eyes blinked open, and she smiled at him. "I do."
