This is one of my first stories, so tell me if it's not very good. But tell me what I can improve, don't just tell me how horrible it is then run off.
It was so cold. Cold and dark, empty and lonely. No noise could be heard apart from a light sniffling and hissing from the survivors. Anydonkey who hadn't escaped to the bunkers in time was either dead or mutated from the radioactive fallout. Bianca burrowed her head into her eldest sister's chest and let out a few shallow whimpers as tears flowed freely from her eyes. Aurora glanced to their oldest brother, Derelictus, who shook his head in sadness and regret.
"Look, darling." Aurora whispered to her baby sister. "Concertino couldn't make it. We can't change that."
Bianca hammered her small hooves into the ground, tearing away from her sister's embrace. "No! No! Ponies no hurt city! Ponies hurt us too much!" she wailed, tugging at the door.
Derelictus shook his head again, but didn't say another word. He'd never spoke since the first bombing, a few miles away in Miamule, the crash shocked him out of his seat and he fell mute, eyes wide with fear and shock. Bright eyes now struck with the terror of waiting out a storm of bullets, the poor donkey was living his life in 'pounce mode', letting his short brown mane grow wacky and his hooves get cracked from clawing the ground.
To be honest, Aurora didn't blame him. She, too, was worried, that was an understatement, she was so blind with worry and upset that the butterflies in her stomach had turned into ravenous moths, eating her away from the inside, turning her into a shell of insecurity. All she cared about was her family's safety; her parents couldn't have escaped the blast fast enough, she saw them crumble into dust before her very eyes, now she was the head of family. No matter what, she'd take care of the three of them, all her siblings were in her responsible hooves. Although the weight of all of Equestria was on her shoulders, she would grit her teeth and show pure donkey stubbornness.
In her little daydream, she let go of Bianca, who, summoning all of her strength, pulled the door open with her tiny legs, she ran out as fast as she could into the mist and fog, disappearing with into the shadows, fading in with the destroyed buildings. Mulewaukee was a pretty city, it may have been quite dangerous at many times, but the shining seas and sun-stretching skyscrapers were almost as amazing as the many museums and galleries that dotted along here and there. Donkeys there were always on the tips of their hooves, always ready to protect themselves from the various gangs, but it had become part of life.
Being completely trapped in-between a rock and a hard place, Aurora looked at Derelictus who shook his head. He was right. If she went out to look for Bianca, she'd be killed and then Derelictus would be alone. That was his fear. Being alone. Bad things lurk in the dark and lonely, he said.
Although Bianca was very young, she was gone, and there was nothing they could do to get their baby sister back.
The baby donkey stumbled through the mist, choking and coughing on poisonous fumes, her vision dizzying. All she saw before she woke up was the shape of a strange creature with a long, contorted, accordion body. She felt someone pick her up. Cradling her in its arms. She saw a strange, cracked smile as her eyelids grew heavy and the creature hummed a twisted lullaby before both passed out cold on the scene of a dreadful crime.
I coughed and spluttered, waking up from some sort of horrible dream. Being struck down by a midget donkey... I laughed at the thought. She was barely a kid. Funny I should say that, me being a goat and all. My cloven black hooves were restrained to separate parts of a table. The table had holes in... kind of like a sieve? Don't ask me why because I don't know.
Then I noticed that I still was. Breath hitching in my throat, I saw the same restraints, only a new one across my dark chest, pinning my jet-black body to the table. Glancing over, I saw someone else.
"Hello?" I called out.
…
"Hello?"
There was a hacking cough and the lights came on over his side. Like a reverse version of me. White stag with massive antlers, a tuft of black fur on his chest and a strange pair of eyes. Such an intriguing set of eyes, with grey whites, almost as if he had been injured in them, and the blue pupils of something I can only describe as the blue colour that pale people go when you choke them. He looked at me, and I looked at him.
"Hello." he said, his voice very quiet and raspy.
"Who are you?" It took me a moment to notice that it was beginning to hurt my throat when I spoke.
"Twix." he nervously told me. "You?"
I tried to avoid looking at him. "Tobler."
There was a long, awkward silence. "You have nice eyes."
Still avoiding glancing at him, I looked away. "Thank you." I said. "I've been told that I have my mother's eyes."
There was another silence, but shorter. "Your mother must have had nice eyes."
I didn't delight him with an answer this time. I just nodded as best as I could in my restraints. He made a small noise before a short figure walked in. As it emerged into the dull light, I saw a rather strange person. Donkey, I assumed, seeing her long ears, mop hair and muzzle. But her smile- that's the one thing that haunts me to this day. That smile. That horrible smile. I could see Twix smiling shyly back. I could already tell that I hated him. When I think back, I kind of still do.
But her smile. Her smile. Like her mouth was a size too big for her head. It was like something from a horror movie from photo-shop. Innocently standing in the darkness, her smart waistcoat and white undershirt, her tidy black trousers. She looked the picture of innocence. All but her smile. Her teeth ended at her jaws, leaving a space of... emptiness. Just flesh. Her eyes looked weathered. Tired, angry, exhausted. Rimmed in what looked like dry, red eye-liner. Like powdered blood. Her eyes looked like they were crying without doing so. Twix looked sympathetic. Almost apologetic. Twit.
"Awake already?" she asked. Her voice was sickly sweet, almost to the point that you could hear a blatant hatred in it. Refusing to answer I glared into her brown eyes.
"Who are you?" Twix said, breaking the silence. Leaning over him, I winced as her hoof flew out and slapped him in the face.
"Bianca Borealis, darling." she hissed. Twix's face turned very red. I couldn't tell if it was because he had just been hit in the face badly, or if it was because he'd been called darling. Miss Borealis drew back, walking over to a lever.
"What the hay do you want?" I roared, trying to sound like I wasn't slightly nervous. I was trying to convince myself. It wasn't working. She looked like she was going to do something terrible.
She was.
"Oh, now that would ruin the surprise!" she cooed, her voice so sweet I felt my stomach churn. Pulling the lever with a groan, a bunch of cogs started moving and I saw the glint of steel above me. Spinning. Lowering. Saws.
Then everything got very painful and blurry and I'd rather not recollect it. All I will say is that it was very messy and I ended up not half the goat I used to be. I'll tell you what happened after that, though.
I tried to touch my forehead, but my right hoof wouldn't move. However, my left hoof worked just fine. After I rubbed my hurting head, I felt something rough. Stitches? Nice, Miss Borealis stitched me back up after whatever the hell she did to me. I tried to get up, but my right leg wasn't cooperating with me.
"T... Tobler?" I heard a faint voice say. Half of my mouth moved with it. I tried to turn around.
"Twix?" I called. "Where are you?"
"Right here..."
Stumbling to keep up with what my leg was trying to do, I approached the hanging mirror in the grimy room. A gasp forced out of my throat. One long red line drew through my body. Only the left half was attatched.
The other half was Twix.
Twix.
Twix.
TWIX!
Of all people! I'd only just met him! Why him? I hated him enough already! I wanted to rip all our fur out just because of this!
But... maybe not.
Where now, boss?
Yeah, where to next?
"Calm down, you two." she said with utmost calmness. "This takes much thought."
Cloudsdale! Their pompous attitude could drive a guy insane!
Nah, I'm for Canterlot. Lording their magic over me...
"Ah, both good ideas. But I know where all the obscure characters live."
Really?
"Yeah. There may be many big wigs and friendly joes there, but there are some that hardly anyone's going to notice gone. We wipe them out, there's not much stopping us."
So... where?
"Ah, you know."
She whipped out the map, a few profiles and pictures slipping out. Landing a slate grey hoof on it, she let out her terrifying smile. The frankenstein-esque henchman gave half an excited smile, half an interested gaze.
"Ponyville."
