Disclaimer: I wrote this, it came from my heart, therefore I own it. Description: This could be viewed in any of the character's views, tell me whom you think it relates to most and why. Personally, I found it relates to Jen Lindley at the end of season six right after she collapses from her heart condition, ends up in the hospital. She's always struggle with faith and her beliefs or rather lack there of. Perhaps, on her death bed, this was one of her first yet certainly not her last conversations with God.
Blind Faith:
Never thought I'd live to see, angel's watching over me.
On my path one dares not tread.
From my wrath many have fled.
A smile, yes a smile is what they once saw.
Now they see nothing, no nothing at all.
Slowly and steadily I have built up a wall.
My once warm and welcoming heart is now nearly frozen.
This bitterness inside me unknown has arisen.
Lord sometimes it's as though I am in my own personal hell!
Angry and bitter thoughts flow through my head.
They've entered my heart and this fills me with dread.
How I long to be happy and laughing instead.
Damn these crippling thoughts of doubt that have invaded my head!
Why won't they be gone? Why can't they be dead!
Angels, Angels look down upon me.
I'm lonely and hurting; can't you see, can't you see?
Others too are suffering; I know it is not just me.
Father, Guardian, Creator of all things. Hear my pleas won't you please?
'I have, I have! Are you blind, can't you see?', these words I heard spoken, oh how they startled me.
This unfamiliar voice that I had heard, from it I could no longer flee.
'Are you mad, I'm not blind? Yes I see, yes I see!
This world is polluted with hate, wars and disease.
I see quite perfectly hurting and suffering all around Me.', I respond bitterly.
'Selfish, you are selfish! The world is suffering, with this I agree. But don't dare to ever try and place blame on me! Again I ask, are you blind? Can't you see the gift I have given the whole world through me?', he then replied back to me.
I stood there angered, confused and yes I'll admit I was even slightly amused.
Upon his response, I laughed and found it most foolish.
Even so, I confess a strange curiosity. Once again from this voice, I could not leave.
'Selfish? I'm not selfish. Have you not heard my plea?
It is true, I am hurting. As are others lord, it is not hard to see.
I cried out for them; not just me, not just me!
I want all to love and live happily. Inside others too are angry and bitter.
Their thoughts have been poisoned with doubt; it too runs through their veins and fills them with dread.
This gift you speak of; perhaps I am blind, maybe I cannot see.
Around me, all I witness is pain and misery.
Forgive me though I inquire of this gift you sent and where it might be?', I questioned honestly with hopes I would not offend this voice that's spoken to me.
Jolly laughter and a smile, he warmly chuckled at me, 'my child it is clear, you are blind.
The gift that I spoke of it was me, it was me.
I died on the cross; it was my Father's will.
He sacrificed his only son, to pay for all mans' sins.
It is I; it is I who has paid the devil's enormous bill.
My blood was shed through my accusers' conviction.
I suffered in anguish, yet felt no confliction.
I did so to concur mans' greatest affliction.' he confided kindly to me.
Stunned with excitement, realization hits me. Nervously, I stumble, stammer and stutter,' you mean, yo-you're….'
'Yes my child, it is I indeed. You have called upon my name, yet I was here all along.
Now you see, now you see? Take a pen, write these words and show the entire world so that they too might see.'
'I will, I will father. Of this you can surely count on me', I proclaimed excitedly. - 03/31/2012
Theresa Lynn Foley
Author's Note: Don't ever tell me God doesn't exist, I have had those words weighing on my heart for a while. All around me, I see friends and loved ones hurting and struggling like me with anger, bitterness and doubt. It seems as though no matter how hard I tried as of recently I couldn't figure out how to help them other than with kind gestures making an absolute fool of myself in hopes of coaxing them to smile and laugh. This morning I was startled awake from a near coma state of sleep and check my phone for the time. Upon doing so I came across a text that read,' sorry, I was sleeping' and another that said 'want me to come through there?' that was sent early this morning from a friend. Confused and unable to fall back asleep, I snatched up my laptop and began to type. The above written is the end result. While typing the thoughts that came tumbling out at a staggering pace, it wasn't long before I stumbled and was nearly at a loss almost halfway through. That is when my computer screen went on the fritz and I was shocked to see this message jumbled in with my writing, 'True friends are truly a dying breed, this is a sad and unfortunate fact. Thankfully I've stumbled upon more than a few gems in my wonderings and wouldn't trade them for all the treasures of the world. ', I wrote that last night, before bed, on face book, and tagged those I considered true friends and was thankful for. After a laugh, a few tears and a smile, I finally finished the above written piece. So once again, don't EVER tell me God doesn't exist because I'll simply smirk and reply,' yes he does, you're just looking in all the wrong places.'
