iStand By You

Carly swallowed hard. Sam's heart hurt for her. This had to be horrible – whatever she had to say. Sam knew she could never find the words to tell the world the secret she kept. Carls was a good girl. Nothing could be this bad that her Cupcake got this whipped up.

Carly paused, laboring over her next few words.

"…and I'm a lesbian…"

The last word rang in Sam's ears. She couldn't possibly have heard that correctly. There was no way Carls had just said she was, you know, the L word. She couldn't be. The Carly Shay Sam knew loved boys – plenty of them. Her Cupcake dated plenty of nubs and losers before, sure, but if Griffin's Pee-Wee Baby obsession hadn't driven Carly to the Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name, nothing would. Something wasn't right.

The look on Carly's face absolutely broke Sam's heart. Fat tears rolled down Carly's soft cheeks. She was coming apart on the inside, torn apart by the prospect of somehow 'failing' her family – something Sam knew all too well. This was completely unacceptable. Carly was too good a person to suffer like this. She wasn't throwing herself in front of a speeding, runaway taco truck, but Sam would've if she'd had to. She did all that she could.

"…Random Dancing!..."

"…and we're clear!..." Freddie chimed in.

The speakers went dead and Carly collapsed into Sam, emotionally exhausted. As much as Sam cared for and respected Carly, she had never seen this coming. How could she have? What could she do? She certainly couldn't tell Carly the truth – as much as her heart ached to do so.

"Carls, are you okay?"

Carly gingerly met Sam's gaze. Her eyes glistened with tears. Sam did the only thing in her power to control the situation.

"Benson! Out! NOW!"

Sam felt fucking stupid. Of all the things that she wanted to say, how fucking trite did she sound, asking Carly if she was okay? Of course she wasn't okay… she'd just outted herself live on the internet, to who-knows-how-many people, including who-knew-how-many potential ex-boyfriends. She glared at the Nub. The Nub had better know when to leave well enough alone, or he'd get a broken clavicle for his trouble. Sam's gaze spoke the volumes that her words didn't need to. Her eyes were steely and ice cold. He was her friend, sure, but this was different. This was Carly. If he set so much as a toe out of line, he would die, no matter what her twin sister thought of him.

Inside, Freddie Benson was crushed, but, in his heart of hearts, he knew this day was bound to come. Carly never saw him That Way, but he was, above all, a gentleman. Gentlemen always knew when to leave. He would live to fight another day.

Sam couldn't believe what had just happened. Everything she thought she knew was coming apart at the seams. She loved Carly – of course she did – but the girl had just taken a flying leap out of a really, really big closet and her entire world was crumbling as a result. When it came down to a choice between Sam and Carly, Carly Shay would always come first.

She knew she had to say something, she simply had no idea what. She figured she'd know when she heard the words come out of her mouth.

"What you did tonight was completely insane, Carls, you know that, right?"

Carly sniffled. She'd hoped that – of all people – Sam would understand.

"Carls, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to. I'm just going to talk right now…" Carly nodded. She wanted to talk – to tell Sam everything. She simply couldn't find the words.

"How long have you known?" Sam asked gently, absentmindedly stroking the hair that fell across Carly's forehead.

"I don't know, I mean, I think I've always known. It's weird. I can't explain it." Carly nuzzled her head into Sam's shoulder. She knew that tonight would be one of those 'milestones' that would always stand out – one of those days she would always recall vividly. Her initial thought, she knew, was a lie.

"No, wait…"Carly backtracked. "That's a lie…"

Sam's face screwed up in confusion, as though Carly'd just asked her to do math. The Cupcake was too sweet. She let her keep talking, albeit briefly. Carly had earned the right to speak her mind, but Sam knew that she had to do the right thing, even if it killed her. She took Carly by the hand, led her to the race car bed that was the focal point of the iCarly studio, and motioned for her to sit. She looked the tearful brunette in the eyes, urging her to continue.

"I've… I've tried to live the way everyone expected. I tried to be what everyone expected me to be, I just couldn't, Sam…"

Sam brushed Carly's cheek again, the brunette's face sticky with tears. She exhaled, attempting to dry Carly's tears with her breath; she swallowed hard to find the courage to ask the question that had seared itself into her brain. This was the Point of No Return.

"Carls, do you have… uh… someone special in your life?"

Carly sniffed back tears. She was hurt Sam would even ask.

Sam Puckett's stomach fell down to her feet. This was worse than anything that had ever happened to her growing up, but she pressed on. If nothing else, living with Pam had taught her that what didn't kill you made you stronger.

"Sam!" Carly snapped. She couldn't believe her ears. It didn't make sense. Carly reconsidered, speaking barely above a whisper now.

"There is…. umm… you know… someone…"

Carly swallowed, looking to Sam. She wanted Sam to look at her. She wanted not to feel disgusting inside. If Sam Puckett couldn't accept her, Carly knew it was over.

"There is someone… I… uh…. I want to be with, but … it's complicated…"

Sam saw that Carly was near another mini-breakdown. She did what she knew. Carly would always be the most important thing in Sam's world, regardless of whether or not she knew it.

"Listen, Cupcake, I don't know what to tell you except that this chick had better not ever hurt you – if she likes breathing!"

Carly flushed, hugging Sam tightly. She laughed.

Sam's heart hurt to the point of bursting. Even heartbroken, sobbing, and swollen, Carly Shay was beautiful. She knew she needed to let Carly say whatever she felt needed saying.

"You…"

She didn't understand. The Cupcake was obviously beside herself with a mixture of grief and lady hormones. She wasn't talking sense.

"You… Samantha Puckett, I've known and loved you nearly my entire life, even if I've never said it before. I mean, how could I?"

She could hear Carly talking, see her lips moving, but the words didn't register inside her head. It was all gibberish now. She was in shock.

She hadn't intended to, but she dropped Carly's hand, turned, and made a break for it. She was doing the only thing she knew. This was what life with Pam had taught her. When things got too hot, you had to run for your life.

Carly, clearly, for all their years of friendship, didn't understand it. She burst into tears.

"Sam, no! Oh God, fuck, no! Sam please…. "Sam, I'm sorry…"

"Sorry? You're fucking sorry? Do you know how many years I've dreamed you'd say those words to me?"

Sam Puckett had just been laid bare. She hadn't meant to, but Carly Shay had cut her to the bone. The blonde's body was reacting before her brain was given time to think about what she was doing. She muttered under her breath, a microsecond of frustration bubbling to the surface before her true nature revealed itself.

"Dammit, Carls… I mean…"

"Sam…?"

The blonde badass was broken. She looked to her dearest – her only – friend, her ice blue eyes brimming with tears. She choked before speaking.

"Carlotta Taylor Shay, I have loved you… longed for you… since before I can remember… You are all I've ever wanted. Will you make me the happiest woman in Seattle?"

Sam, finally, had given life to the fantasy that had turned inside her brain since childhood. She was fully prepared for rejection that did not come. Carly reached into Sam's cupped fingers, retrieving Sam's rainbow-colored ring – the unspoken acknowledgement of who Sam was – and slipped it onto her own ring finger, no questions asked. She was at a loss.

"Sam, I…"

"I know, Cupcake… there's plenty of time for that later…"

It amazed them both that they had always had this intuition between them. They both simply knew. Sam scrambled to her feet, exhausted at the foot of the race car bed. Her fingers found Carly's instinctively. This was what they needed. Sam let herself fall forward, knowing Carly was strong enough to take on her weight. They both collapsed fully dressed. Sam's blue eyes shut for the night, Carly the final sight they beheld. They were both safe.