Not Meant to Be
ADDED AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Apologies for me taking down all my stories. I believe that due to this story, I kind of lost my job. It got circulated to other people with their own believe added therefore… I was thrown into a difficult position and resigned on the spot. I have taken down everything due to that very reason and has been fairly traumatised. I am finally back. Baby steps. I will be putting up all my stories again. Next is to start reading again. I will get back to writing but there may be some delay. Apologies for all the additional emails you will be receiving due to me re-posting my stories.
THIS STORY IS NOT ABOUT YOU OR ANYONE IN MY LIFE!
This is a work of fanfiction. Businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
A/N: This story was mainly inspired by the movie "The Best of Me", the fanfics that I have yet again been re-reading and the sad movies that come to mind. Movies such as "The Faults in our Stars" and "Me before You". They cheated so much of my tears and I need to get something back. This led me thinking, when it comes to romance, we, well I, always wish and hope that it will be a happy ending. But does all romance really have a good happy ending? Hope you'll enjoy this story and sorry that I side-tracked to write this.
"Mama, I've always wondered… why do you like the stars so much? And why does Nee-san always have this sad look when you sit out here on your own?" A wee girl with curious beautiful soul-deep bright sapphire eyes stared into burgundy as she asked.
"Come here, love. You too, sweetie... Come over here and give your mama a hug." Fate called out as she reached for both her children.
As she hugged her two loves and kissed them spoil, she began telling a story, "Let me tell you a story... a story that started long before you and Vivio were born. Do you know that there are many different cultures of people that gathered under the stars? It's been said that your destiny is written in the stars... And no matter how far apart you are from your love ones, you are always connected by the stars..."
-0-
"They met at a much younger age and under all the wrong circumstances. Around 15 years ago… one was falling out of a horrible relationship while the other one was getting married. Throughout the years, people who knew about them would only describe them as not meant to be..."
-0-
Around 15 years ago…
Nanoha was desperate to look for a job after graduating and finally found one with TSAB Visual.
On the first day of work, she was greeted by a lively blonde. "Good day, my name is Fate Harlaown and starting today, you will be working in my team. You can call me Fate."
"Nice to meet you, Fate-san. My name is Nanoha, Takamachi Nanoha."
And this was how they met. Nanoha was a bright and friendly girl but where there is light, there will always be darkness. Under all the energy and smiles, she has always felt lonely and never really quite fit in. Friendship distanced and stretched as her best friends decided to start a new life overseas. She ended up with a friend that she knew since middle school, Yuuno. Everyone around them just expected the both of them to end up together eventually. Nanoha was sick and tired of being alone, of being out of place, so she decided to give the relationship a chance. Yuuno had been nothing but patient, caring and supporting. Eventually, she had slowly learnt to love him in return.
-0-
Nanoha got on fine with all of her colleagues but somehow still managed to keep everyone at an arm's length. That was until they had their first team doo. She sat down and finally listened to her team talk openly about their life. This allowed her to get to know them at a different level.
She knew Hayate to begin with. They used to be in the same classes in primary school for a few years and hung out a lot. Hayate's parents passed away due to a car accident while she miraculously survived even though she was still an infant. Her cousin, Signum, took her in and brought her up. Hayate had to move due to her cousin's work commitments. They lost contact since then. It was a pleasant surprise for Nanoha to see a familiar face at work but what was once broken wasn't that easy to mend.
-0-
They had drinks after drinks as they chatted about their personal life. When the blonde, Fate, finally dropped her facade, telling what was left of the team about her bad breakup she was currently going through, it was then, Nanoha had a strange feeling... 'Her eyes look so sad... I wish I could ease some of the pain… I wish I could make her happy as happiness will suit her much better...' Nanoha thought to herself.
They felt and understood what Fate was going through. Nanoha tried her best to support Fate with her team and that's how the friendships were born.
Looking at the lack of numbers on her side was for the wedding, Nanoha decided to invite a couple of her teammates to her wedding. Both Fate and Hayate were invited and attended Nanoha's wedding.
This event had levelled up their friendship. They started hanging out more after work, not too often, just some gatherings here and there.
Nanoha began to chat more with Hayate outside of work and finally was able to rebuild a bridge of friendship and trust. Whereas for Fate, she was always very friendly at work, or should Nanoha say only when she is at work. They said that they were friends but they hardly even communicated outside of work. Only whenever they went out drinking, Nanoha got to learn more about Fate.
What they would never have guessed was that they were slowly falling for each other. Whenever they were out drinking together, they acted out just that little bit more and more without knowing they did. Nothing sexual, just small touches and being there for each other to begin with. From small touches to forehead resting on forehead to hugging and holding hands.
-0-
These actions were really confusing to Nanoha. It was only when Hayate pointed it out to Nanoha indirectly that she finally caught on with how she felt.
Now that Nanoha knew, she could spot some irregularities.
Yes, she knew that she had a crush on Fate but how did the other feel?
She already felt disgusted that she had a crush on Fate. For goodness sake, she was a married woman! But on the other hand, no matter how much she tried, Fate was like a magnet to Nanoha, always drawing her closer and closer.
Fate wasn't like that when they weren't drinking. Nanoha was actually grateful for the hot and cold attitude. This made it easier for her to stand her ground. It was bad enough that she was cheating in her mind, she really did not want to cheat on Yuuno physically too.
-0-
One night, both got real drunk from an outing. Nanoha, as usual, took it upon herself to make sure that Fate got home safe. Fate had the tendency to overdrink herself.
"Do you really not want to talk about it, Fate-san? You seem to be drowning yourself with alcohol to hide your pain. Heck, I can even see the pain you hide behind that lovely smile of yours." Nanoha pried.
"How would you know what I'm thinking?" Fate replied
"I don't, that's why I'm asking." Nanoha countered.
"Well, how would you know what I'm feeling?" Fate asked.
"Because I'm observant?" Nanoha tried.
"Try again..." Fate brushed off her answer.
"I don't know what else you want me to say, Fate-san." Nanoha replied.
"Because you spent too much time looking at me..." Fate answered.
Nanoha was shocked that Fate actually caught on to what she did.
"You are always observing me with those beautiful soul-deep bright sapphire eyes of yours… it's like you can look straight into my soul…" Fate continued.
-0-
"I have a soulful eyes, got it. You don't have to worry because nothing is going to happen. I won't force you if you don't want to say anything but if you ever choose to, I promise that I will not repeat it to anyone. Not even Yuuno-kun." Nanoha assured.
"Of course, that's why I trust you." Fate slurred as she collapsed onto her sofa.
"Guess that's the end of the conversation. Come on Fate, let's get you upstairs. I'm drunk too so you got to pull some weight in help me out." Nanoha grumbled. Fate just mumbled something intangible in return.
This became the pattern for the next few outings. Nanoha always made sure that Fate got home safe, had some water to re-hydrate and was safely tucked in bed.
-0-
After Nanoha finally got Fate tucked into bed this time round, Fate suddenly reached out to Nanoha and hugged her, asking, "Nanoha, can I kiss you?"
"You're drunk, Fate-san." Nanoha replied as she tried to remove herself from Fate's hold.
"Just this once... please..." Fate begged.
"You know I'm married. I can't." Nanoha replied steadfastly.
"Just this once. I won't ask for more." Fate asked as she pulled Nanoha's head down towards hers.
"Have you not heard of 'don't shit where you eat'?" Nanoha advised.
"Just this once." Fate repeated softly as her lips were inches from Nanoha's.
Feeling Fate's hot breath on her lips, her mind just short circuited and went blank. Nanoha then replied softly as she no longer had the strength to deny her, "Just this once, Fate-chan."
-0-
They kissed for the very first time.
The kiss was all one could ever dream of...tender and soft, electrifying yet heart-warming. It was a kiss that eased the soul but lit a fire in life.
"I knew I shouldn't have kissed you." Nanoha sighed in regret.
"You know you wanted to for a while now. I can see it in your eyes when you look at me…" Fate pressed.
"I know it's wrong of me to be doing this but I don't think I want to stop..." Nanoha continued.
"Then don't. We won't have to go further than this. I promised." Fate urged as she pulls Nanoha onto the bed.
"I'll have to text him, to let Yuuno-kun know that I'm not going home, else he will worry." Nanoha replied, slightly out of breath.
"Text him now… then you are mine tonight…" Fate whispered huskily as she kissed and nipped on Nanoha's neck.
True to Fate's word, they did not go beyond making out. They kissed… a little too over passionately, and they enjoyed each other's presence by cuddling to sleep.
They woke up tangled in each other's arms, embarrassed as they remembered what they did the evening before.
-0-
From kisses, it eventually escalated to full infidelity.
"You know I can't carry on like this. You know I love you... I love you more than I love him... but... but I can't leave him." Nanoha cried to Fate as they lay naked in bed.
Fate comforted Nanoha by gently drawing circles on her back. "I'm aware that you're feeling guilty but..." Fate replied but got interrupted by Nanoha.
"It's bad enough that I've broken my vows for so long... for so many times. I need to stop living a lie. I'm sorry." Nanoha continued to cry.
"We already promised that this was going to be short lived." Fate replied sadly.
"You know that I don't think I can love another like I love you." Fate confirmed, throwing Nanoha into more chaos.
"I love you, Fate-chan. You know I will always love you." Nanoha replied as she hugged and held onto Fate desperately.
"Just give me two weeks, love. Just last two weeks with you. And I promise I will leave your life for good." Fate pled.
"We can go away. We can get Hayate to come on board with us. If we explain to her, she will understand and perhaps help us one last time." Fate suggested.
"Why can't I ever find the strength to deny you?" Nanoha cried as she kissed Fate to seal the pact on this crazy idea.
-0-
Surprisingly, Hayate came on board and played along.
"As long as this is the last of it. I do not want to get involved any further after this. This has to be the last time." Hayate warned.
They did things and travelled as a group but Hayate left the couple on their own as often as she could. Almost two whole weeks of uninterrupted time spent together, almost two whole weeks of uninterrupted passion, almost two whole weeks of alternate reality. From the way they kissed, from the way they looked into each other's eyes, anyone can freaking tell that they were in love… in love with each other and they were made for each other… but the truth is far from it.
-0-
On the last night of the trip back in their room.
"We need a song... a song that belongs to us..." Nanoha said out of the blue.
"What?" Fate replied in confusion.
"We need a song... a song that will remind me of you... of us... of the time we spent together..." Nanoha suggested as her fingers travelled up and down Fate's arms. The love... the hunger… and passion... forever present in Nanoha's beautiful eyes... It made it almost impossible for Fate to not kiss her.
After kissing Nanoha breathless, Fate finally replied, "Let's see what's on the radio then. The first clear song I find shall be our song."
"Nayhahaha… How random!" Nanoha laughed.
'Another image and another track to archive to memory.' Fate thought to herself as she looked at Nanoha.
Nanoha asked as Fate got out of bed, "What happens if it's a crappy song like 'Sexy and I Know It'?"
Fate just laughed and joked, "You are sexy and I know it."
After channel surfing, Fate randomly stopped on a channel.
"Hey, look at that… It's your favourite singer." Fate called out.
Fate went over by the bed and got Nanoha onto her feet. Ed Sherran's 'Kiss Me' was playing in the background as they danced slowly. Fate held Nanoha as close as she could, and she started singing the chorus softly to Nanoha…
"So kiss me like you wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
This feels like falling in love
Falling in love
We're falling in love…"
"We are in love, Nanoha… and I will carry on loving you, until the end of my time." Fate avowed.
"I love you too, Fate-chan… You will forever have a place in my heart…" Nanoha began to tear as she replied.
-0-
After the trip, Nanoha quit her job and joined a different company. Fate also left the TSAB shortly after and moved away.
Nanoha and Fate never contacted each other again. Nanoha carried on living her married life with Yuuno, never once unfaithful again.
Fate was making her fame with her raw talent in the States in graphics designing.
Nanoha knew that Hayate was still in contact with Fate but she never dared ask for an update. Fate however, asked for an update about Nanoha whenever she thought her heart could bear the pain.
-0-
10 years down the track, Nanoha was still married to Yuuno, and Fate was a successful but single lady. Fate's life was going well until she received a call in the middle of the night that changed her life.
"Fate... you need to get back to Japan... now." Hayate cried.
"Hayate, what's wrong? Are you crying?!" Fate asked in surprise.
"It's Nanoha... She's... she's in a critical condition..." Hayate carried on crying.
Fate felt like someone just sucker punched her in the gut.
"Hayate, you need to calm down. Can you please tell me what happened while I pack?" Fate requested.
"They were on the way home from dinner at mine. Then they got caught by this stupid car chase the cops were having. The other driver... that stupid fucking drunk teenage driver crashed into their car and sandwiched it against the truck in front of them. Yuuno... Yuuno didn't make it. He was pronounced dead on site. Nanoha made a big fuss about refusing treatment as she wanted Yuuno to be treated first." Hayate explained as clearly as she could manage while crying.
"I was there... and I was fucking useless...It happened just down the street from my place. I saw the whole fucking thing happening right in front of me and I couldn't do a thing to help." Hayate cried.
"Hayate, there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. This is not your fault." Fate consoled.
"She begged me… begged me to save Yuuno first... because she owed him too much... but there was nothing I could do... He was already dead." Hayate wept.
Signum took over the phone call after that as Hayate was no longer in a position to talk.
"I have got a flight booked and I am on my way." Fate announced.
-0-
It took 13 bloody long hours to get back. 'Why the fuck did I move so far away?' Fate thought to herself. Fate rushed straight to the hospital once she got out of the airport.
When she got there Hayate was crying her eyes out.
"I'm here! What happened?! What's the latest news?" Fate called out.
Hayate was crying so much that she couldn't reply. Vita, Signum's younger sister, hugged Hayate tightly to comfort her as much as she could. Signum came over and informed that Nanoha just flat lined a few minutes ago, right before Fate arrived, and doctors were trying their best to resuscitate her.
Fate couldn't think or hear anything after and dropped onto her knees. She knelt on the floor until the doctors came out.
The doctor informed them that they had tried their best and there was nothing else they could do. The doctor advised that the group should go in and say goodbye before the body was being transferred to the morgue.
-0-
Hayate fainted on the spot.
Fate wasn't sure how but she got herself in there. Fate started crying and pounding on Nanoha's chest.
Signum had to hold Fate back and try to get her to calm down a little. Trying her best to compose herself, she asked Signum to release her for her to say her goodbyes.
Fate told Nanoha how much she loved her and how she would never stop loving her.
"Are we really not meant to be?" Fate asked silently to no one.
Finally, Fate bent over and gave Nanoha one last kiss goodbye.
Right after this action, Nanoha's body jerked as she took in a deep breath and was struggling to breathe after that. The doctor and nurses were called back in.
The doctors deemed this event as a miracle but advised the group to not have too much hope. As Nanoha had stopped breathing for more than 10 minutes, there was a high chance that her brain was damaged due to the lack of oxygen in her system. Even if she lived, there was also the spine injury she suffered from the accident. She may never walk again.
Fate had advised the doctors to do whatever it took.
-0-
Nanoha made a miracle recovery after that. She woke up 3 weeks later.
She was sad about the news of Yuuno and had rejected all help, especially Fate's help.
Nanoha's house was quickly renovated for the use of a wheelchair. Despite Nanoha's rejection, Fate gave up her life in New York and moved in with her.
Nanoha stubbornly rejected everybody's help as much as she could. It was amazing how Fate could take all of Nanoha's tantrums. She was so rude and hurtful that even Hayate got pissed off at one stage and avoided her.
-0-
A year after the incident, there was barely any improvement to the situation. Nanoha kept requesting physician-assisted suicide (PAS) but was strongly rejected by Fate.
Nanoha was still depressed all the time and threw a tantrum whenever she could. She was very hard to live with and spent most of her time ignoring Fate.
Fate finally had enough off all this and left the house without a word to Nanoha. The Yagamis had been informed of this decision and they only went over whenever it was necessary.
Nanoha was left all on her own for more than a week. A mess she definitely did make but she got by.
A month went by, and it was the slowest month Nanoha ever had after the accident.
-0-
As she was lying in bed one night, she felt someone crawling onto her bed with her.
Nanoha prayed for the end to finally come.
Instead of facing death, she was hugged tightly from behind. A hug that was all too familiar and missed.
"Did you miss me? Because I definitely did miss you. No matter how shite you could treat me... I will never leave you or abandon you... I love you, and I will never give up on you." Fate whispered as she snuggled her face into Nanoha's nape.
Tears just started flowing. Nanoha tried but had no control over it.
"Why are you back? I thought you left... Why did you come back?" Nanoha cried.
"I came back because I missed you... because I need you..." Fate replied.
"Haven't you suffered enough?!" Nanoha replied as she bawled.
"Every day when I wake up, I thank any God that is out there listening. Thanking them for blessing us with another day, another day that I get to spend with you." Fate mumbled into Nanoha's nape as she kissed her.
-0-
Fate showered her with small nibs and kisses as she turned Nanoha around and straddled across her hips.
"I had enough of taking the back seat, Nanoha. And I'm not going to wait anymore. If I leave it to you, you are just going to ignore me forever." Fate announced and she bent down and captured Nanoha's lips.
Nanoha pushed Fate away and argued, "Why me? Why would you want to stay with a fucking cripple?"
"Haven't you realised it by now? There's no one else for me but you." Fate declared as she continued to kiss and nip her way down Nanoha's jawline, neck and collarbone.
Nanoha involuntary let out a moan as her body reacted to Fate's actions.
"You are not a crippled. You are recovering. See, you can even feel this..." Fate replied softly from Nanoha's chest, with her hand travelling southwards.
Slowly… Fate slid her fingers across Nanoha's belly and onto her outer thighs… all the way down to her knees and back up on her inner thighs.
Finally, Fate slipped her hand in under the band of her underwear, finding her hot core.
She gently parted her lips and slid her finger across her entrance.
Nanoha drew a deep breath in an attempt to control and calm her now raging hormones. She fought hard but it was a losing battle.
-0-
"Fate, you need to stop..." Nanoha advised.
"Why? Your body's reacting to my touch. At least it is more honest than you are." Fate replied as she kissed and teased across Nanoha's chest.
"Because it's me... because I am holding you back and weighing you down..." Nanoha cried.
"Nah Nanoha, that's not a good enough excuse anymore." Fate replied as she licked along the jawline and nipped on her earlobe.
"Because I'm not clean. I haven't showered properly in over a week." Nanoha whimpered.
"You smell and taste alright. I don't mind having a tummy ache." Fate replied, smashing away another flimsy excuse.
"Because I left you..." Nanoha cried.
Fate finally stopped her teasing and faced Nanoha again.
"I don't deserve you... I gave you up once already... and it's not fair on you... especially with the condition I'm in." Nanoha said now sobbing hard.
-0-
"Nanoha, have I ever complained about taking care of you? I love taking care of you, so let me. If it's about money, I have earned enough for us to spend two lifetimes. You are recovering and I know you will be able to make great progress if you put your heart to it. We both decided to leave back then. It wasn't your decision alone. It was the best choice back then. But now it's different. Nothing can stop us from being together now... except your stubbornness that is." Fate replied.
She gave Nanoha a peck on her lips as she reached for her hand. "And if it's pleasure you are worried about..." Fate said as she guided Nanoha's hand in between her legs.
"I don't think you can't give me what I need..." Fate carried on saying as Nanoha felt her hand brushed against Fate's secret. Fate was wet from wanting her… Her sweet nectar was now coating her hand.
-0-
Nanoha began to tease and Fate moaned sweetly into her ears. Fate sat up and threw her head back from the pleasures that invaded her.
"Ah... Nanoha... yes..." Fate moaned loudly for Nanoha, clearly voicing her pleasure for Nanoha to hear.
The pleasure was building up greatly as Nanoha quickened her pace. The pleasure was so great that Fate began riding on her fingers, moving her hips to see if she could ease some of the pleasure.
"Nanoha, you are going to make me come soon. I want to hear you call my name... please... call me like you used to..." Fate moaned out breathlessly.
"Fate-chan... are you going to come for me? Come for me my love, feel my strokes and come for me, Fate..." Nanoha urged.
Fate came, screaming Nanoha's name over and over again.
When Fate finally came down from her high, she collapsed onto Nanoha and said her hasky tone that Nanoha loved so much, "Now, let me love you physically and soulfully."
-0-
Things were finally on track. Nanoha was responding well to treatment and worked really hard during physio. She managed to walk on her own a year later.
Life was good. They lived out their life lovingly. They even adopted a beautiful little girl named Vivio. They led a life that people envied.
They displayed their love and passion so openly that it embarrassed Vivio at times. Vivio would ask from time to time, "Gee Nanoha-mama and Fate-mama… do you both not have an off switch?"
When Vivio turned 15, she used her birthday wish to search for her biological parents.
When they found her mum, Vivio begged to meet her at least once.
Nanoha went with Vivio to meet her biological mum and returned with such disappointment. Her dad disappeared and wanted nothing to do with the child. Her mother was as trashy as you would expect from someone living just to chase the dragons. She wanted nothing to do with Vivio.
Vivio cried all the way home on the train. Fate had heard nothing from Nanoha after she checked in a while ago. She thought nothing of it as she was busy baking to celebrate their return.
-0-
Hayate once again, entered her life with distress.
"Their train derailed and the news mentioned that there were many casualties." Hayate cried.
It was hospital and endless amount of waiting again. The great news was that Vivio escaped with just a broken arm, and a couple of bruises here and there.
In the end, Nanoha was one of the causalities. She blindsided everyone with a 'do not resuscitate' order.
"Is this your way of once again reminding me that we were not meant to be?" Fate cried.
Nanoha didn't even allow them a fighting chance. She was gone… just like that. Her organs were then used to save people.
Fate felt like ending her life right at that spot. To lose Nanoha again was too much for her to handle.
Then she heard Vivio crying. Vivio cried and blamed herself for causing her mama's death, which in turn forced Fate to have to stay strong. Nanoha used her life to protect Vivio and kept their baby girl safe, and she was not going to let that go to waste.
-0-
Fate cried whenever she was alone, especially out on the deck where she could see the stars. Nanoha loved the sky and the stars. Nanoha used to say that the sky calmed her down so they would lie there on the deck for hours and watch the sky. Nanoha used to tell stories about how everyone is connected by the stars, no matter how far apart they were. Nanoha also used to tell stories about how some cultures believed that the parted ones watched over them from the sky and guided them through the stars.
"You know that it is going to be very difficult for me to carry on but I promise you Nanoha, I promise that I will try… for your sake... and for Vivio's sake. So, please… please I beg of you… please stay by my side and watch over me… and watch over us…" Fate cried to the sky.
-0-
A few weeks after the accident, Fate suddenly decided and announced that she would be adopting a wee girl.
Vivio was worried about Fate and her sudden decision. She approached her Aunt Hayate to discuss the latest revolution.
When spoken to, Fate explained that this wee girl had lost her family in the crash and suffered some injuries herself. She had no other relatives she could depend upon.
Fate went on and on about how it was ironically meant to be, said that she was meant to find her, and take her into their family. Fate explained that the wee girl's name was Sora, the exact same meaning of "sky" which Nanoha so loved.
Even Hayate, Signum and co were beginning to worry about Fate's decision and mental health.
When Fate came home with Sora, Vivio immediately knew why. A pair of beautiful soul-deep bright sapphire eyes stared back at her new family.
-0-
Sora was introduced to the families, who were smitten with her immediately.
Afterwards with Fate's permission, Shamal disclosed how Sora was given a second chance in sight.
After the main part of the party, Fate excused herself and headed out to the deck to look up at the night sky.
Years later, Fate continued to disappear out to the deck after meals.
One night she was joined by both her daughters. "Mama, I've always wondered… why do you like the stars so much?"
~ The End ~
A/N:
Assisted suicide - wiki/Assisted_suicide
** Eye transplant - I know that eye transplant is not possible. As this is fiction, please allow this fact to slide. It helps to tie the beginning and ending together.
