Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek in any way shape or form and make nothing from this.
A/N: A Special Thanks to drivven who beta'd. Written in response to a challenge over at the st_xi_kink_meme.

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"What is this?" Kirk whispered as he pushed whatever it was on his plate around.

"FHGSDLASKEIUED," Spock said with a perfectly straight face.

"Is it alive?"

"I do not think so Captain."

"You don't think so... that means you don't know. If I eat this will it kill me?"

"I am unaware of the outcome should you eat the dish. I am aware however; that the Klingons will be insulted and will most certainly kill us if you choose not to eat it."

"Damned if I do and damned if I don't, huh?"

"Indeed Captain. May I suggest you make haste before the Ambassador turns his attention back to us?" Spock said while taking a tiny bite.

Kirk hastily followed Spock's lead and took a slightly larger bite. It took every ounce of his willpower not to spit the dish right back out. He swallowed quickly as Ambassador Kamarag approach.

"Gentlemen is the FHGSDLASKEIUED to your liking?" Kamarag asked as politely as any Klingon ever could, which was to say not very polite at all.

"It's... a very spicy dish, interesting texture as well. I'm not sure it is to my First Officer's taste though."

"We are aware of the Vulcan's odd dietary needs. I assure you the dish is vegetarian," Kamarag said stiffly.

"A thousand pardons. We didn't know. I just see my CMO now, if you would please excuse us."

The Ambassador walked off muttering what Kirk was sure were Klingon curses and Kirk rushed to get the hell out of dodge. He was in serious need of getting his stomach pumped.

~FIN~