Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek in any way shape or form and make nothing from this.
A/N: A Special Thanks to drivven who beta'd. Written in response to a challenge over at the st_xi_kink_meme.

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Leonard was running down the hallway as fast as his legs could carry him with an obvious command uniform in one hand and white... something in the other. Praying that Jim wasn't dressed yet and cursing Vulcan embassies and their general lack of basic knowledge of their 'distinguished' guests. Damned fools didn't pay any heed to the, albeit long, list of Jim's allergies.

First night there they had tried to kill him with their version of peanuts and now they were trying to kill him by putting their version of fabric softener in his clothes. If he had to send Jimmy back to the ship to treat him, again; those Logical Vulcans would get a good old fashioned dose of his Southern temper!

He entered the room just as Jim had stepped out of the shower and was about to put on his underwear. Lady Luck still loved him!

"Jim! Stop! For Gods sakes, DON'T put on your underwear! IT COULD KILL YOU!" he yelled at the startled blond.

Kirk blinked a few times in confusion then smirked at his friend. "Ya know Bones, if you wanted a quickie before we go out, there are other ways of asking."

"Hardie de har. I'm dying from laughter here, really I am. You better hop back into the sonic and get good and decontaminated. Those Vulcan bastards used FABRIC SOFTENER when they cleaned your clothes. I'll have the hypo ready when you come out just in case. I swear, I am never letting that damned Green Blooded Hobgoblin live this down. Big Bad Logical Vulcans use fabric softener because of their delicate skin. HA! Desert people my ass. Softest damned desert people I ever met," McCoy muttered while waiting for Kirk to finish in the sonic shower.

If it wasn't insane Klingons, crazed Romulans, or jealous Admirals trying to kill his Jimmy it was simple shit like eating and getting dressed that was.