Warning(s): Explicit Language & Sexual Content & Slightly OOC Characters & Angst & Romance
Pairing: Dabonlena
Summary: Bonnie finds herself entangled in a secret relationship with Elena and Damon. In Season 5. Bonnie didn't die.
Disclaimer: All TVD characters are property of L.J Smith and the CW. No copyright intended.
First and Only A/N: I'm dedicating this story to AngelIvySalvatore for downloading this story and providing it to me so I could rewrite. If anyone else has any other of my stories downloaded, could you please PM me so I can rewrite those quicker as well? I know it's a long time coming. Thank you to all whom always shared kind, encouraging reviews and waited forever for this. Enjoy the ride!
"Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be."
-Alan Watts
CHAPTER ONE
Emerald eyes flashed open in panic. Blurred vision and a disoriented feeling washed over her as she tried to make sense of what the hell was going on. She could deduce only three things at the moment. One, she was in a warm bed. Two, her body was extremely sore. And three, she was pretty fucking positive that she was being possessively cuddled by Elena Gilbert and Damon Salvatore.
Wait.
Her breathing began to shallow out as she glanced down at her mid section completely engulfed by Elena and Damon's strong arms. No. No. She didn't do it, did she? She had more self control than that, right? But when her gazed shifted around Damon's bedroom, she saw it. All the evidence she needed to confirm that not only did she give up last night, but she gave it up good. The room was in a complete disarray as if a tornado of two horny vampires and a witch whipped through it. Clothes were laying haphazardly everywhere. Two expensive looking lamps splayed broken and long forgotten on the floor, the things on his dressers were scattered like something was thrown and pushed up against it, hard. Her panic level had been rising steadily the moment she'd woken, but when her eyes settled on her red thong delicately hanging off a nearby nightstand, it shot through the roof.
Her eyes darted from Elena and Damon's sleeping faces, as she tried to peel back the covers off her lower half. Her body began to flush at the sight of the various love bites decorated across her inner thighs. A moan almost escaped her as memory of Elena's deep brown eyes looking up at her, while sinking blunt teeth into her flesh, along with the feeling of Damon's talented tongue swirling expertly around her aching nipples. She froze when she realized her hand had been snaking down to her- Oh, God. She had to get out of there! She pried the vampires' limbs off her as gently as she could and began slowly sliding off the bed, doing her best to keep her harsh breathing in check. It took everything in her not to bolt out of the room, because damn was it tempting. But she was very much naked and without her car. Her eyes lit up when she spotted her jeans by the bathroom door. Speed walking, softly as possible, she grabbed them with a sigh of relief at the weight of her phone in one of the back pockets. She opened her messages with Caroline and quickly typed out a text before hitting send.
After that she really didn't know what to do with herself, so she began gathering up the rest of her clothes, intent on taking a shower to relieve some of her aching muscles. But when she picked up her thong and surveyed the state it was in, with a gulp, she balled them in her hand, deciding she would be force to forgo underwear for the moment. As she looked back at the resting couple, she could have sworn she saw a glimpse of crystal orbs staring in her direction, before she quickly shut the bathroom door with a click, hearting pounding fiercely in her chest. Was Damon awake? She shakily turned the lock, despite knowing it was pathetic seeing how the vampire could get in with minimal effort, if he wanted. It wasn't lost on her that taking a shower would most definitely stir them out of their slumber if she had been seeing things, but in the moment she couldn't care. All she wanted was alone time with a hot shower and to be able to pretend she wasn't a home wrecking slut who participated in a threesome with two people in a committed relationship. Plus, it didn't hurt that Damon had the best shower on planet Earth.
/
Wiping the mirror of fog ten minutes later, she physically felt better, but mentally she was still a wreck. She couldn't escape her thoughts in the shower, ping ponging back and forth between how good it felt and how wrong it was. At this point they had to be up. She knew she had to leave the bathroom, face the music, but still she was rooted at the sink, staring in the mirror at herself. But was she really looking at herself? This wasn't like her at all. Engaging in a threesome? Having sex with not only one of her best friends, but the girl's boyfriend as well? The boyfriend who turned her life upside down? The boyfriend who was totally unapologetic in all his bad boy ways. The boyfriend who was a vampire.
She turned the knob, pushing the door open to see the couple sitting up in the bed expectantly. Waiting for her. Gulping, she stepped all the way out, and pushed her back against the bathroom door with a heavy breath.
"I was wondering when you were going to come out of there, Judgy." Damon was resting against the headboard with his chest completely exposed, staring at her with playful eyes. She adverted her gaze when she found herself licking her lips, remembering how she slowly dragged her tongue up that hard chest.
"Yeah, I was just about to head out. So…"
That's when Elena's warm smile morphed into a deep frown. "What? You're leaving?" She gathered the covers around her body and got out of bed when the witch silently nodded, still not meeting their eyes. She approached her slowly and with caution as if she was afraid Bonnie was going to run for it with any sudden movements. Though she couldn't be blamed for that line of thinking because the shorter girl's eyes kept darting towards the door. "Where are you going? Damon was going to make us breakfast and take us to class." Her voice was soft and reassuring, almost making Bonnie want to- No, she can't.
"I do make some mean pancakes if I do say so myself." He added cockily, though was sharply watching Bonnie's every move with rapt attention. Reading her body language like a book, he knew she was possibly having seconds thoughts about everything that happened last night.
"U-um that's okay. I'm not really hungry. Plus, Caroline is going to pick me up really soon."
This made Elena frown even more, gripping onto the slipping bedsheets to her chest. "W-What? Bonnie, Caroline's already at school, why would you call her?"
The emerald eyed girl ran a hand through her damp hair with a frustrated sigh. She wasn't prepared for this interrogation. Especially, when all Elena had wrapped around her bare body was a thin sheet that was threatening to expose everything that she had salivated over last night. "I just, I need to get my clothes from my house and-"
"Bon, you can just wear my clothes." She laughed lightly, but when she saw the hesitant expression on her face, the witch's behavior finally clicked for her. "D-do you regret last night? Is that why you're acting this way?" Hurt was evident in her voice.
Bonnie bit her lip. "Look, Elena. We shouldn't have did what we did last night." And, God, they did so, so much.
"Says who?" Damon snapped from his position on the bed. He was no longer causally resting against the headboard, but now sitting upright with his arms firmly folded across his chest. A look of annoyance was shot towards him.
"Society! Normal people!" She exasperated, adding quietly with her head low, "me." When she looked back up at their expressions, she so wished she'd just had ran out of here naked. "This isn't right-"
"You never answered my question."
She looked to see Elena staring at her so intensely, she lost a breath. "W-What?"
"I asked you, if you regret what we did. You didn't answer."
"I did answer-"
"You said we shouldn't have done it, big surprise there, but our girl is right. You didn't answer the actual question, Witchy." She swallowed thickly at him saying our girl. What the hell was going on? Was she the only sane one in the room right now?
"Guys, look-" A soft hand grabbed hers and squeezed lightly.
"Just answer the question, Bon." Elena whispered, searching her eyes with furrowed brows. Her gaze shifted to Damon who was watching the scene unfold intently.
"I-I can't."
"Bonnie, please." The girl was looking at her with big pleading eyes.
She bit the inside of her cheek hard. Her heart was racing, thoughts running a mile a minute, and she felt like she was going to vomit. She knew if she answered this question, she was going to be screwed for the rest of eternity. But looking between the faces of the two vampires she'd completely given herself to, she couldn't lie. "No." She said barely above a whisper, but she knew they heard her perfectly.
"I'm sorry…no, what?" Damon smirked, cupping his ear teasingly. A grin was split across Elena's face as she looked eager for Bonnie to clarify as well.
"No, I d-don't regret it." She said quietly. "But this can't happen again." She finished making the doppelgänger drop her hand, disheartened.
A growl erupted from Damon's throat, as he ripped the covers back violently before speeding right in front of her. She almost choked as her eyes trailed down his body.
"Damon, put some clothes on!"
"No ." He stepped closer to her. She could feel it pressing against her thigh. "You don't get to weasel out of this."
"We don't even know what this is!" She exclaimed heatedly, feeling overwhelmed by their close proximity, especially Damon's, um, little friend.
"Then we'll figure out, together." Elena breathes, grabbing a hold of the witch's hand again.
Bonnie's eyes enlarged. "Together? As in…"
"Together, Bon." She said softly before leaning forward and pressing their lips together. Their lips slid over each other slowly until Elena poked up tongue out, making Bonnie jerk back.
"Elena this is crazy! We can't all just be in a relationship!" She breathed out frustratedly.
Frustrated that she pulled back, the brunette pouted. "Why not?"
"Because this isn't normal." She exasperated.
"Seriously Bon, what about us is normal? You're a witch, Damon's a vampire and I'm a doppelgänger slash vampire." She finished with a chuckle. "Nothing about our world is conventional."
"This.." She began with a hesitant breath. "Is the sex talking. We're still running high off everything that happened last night. We're not thinking clearly. We should give each other some space."
"Bonnie, I've been thinking about you nonstop for the past several weeks. I can't turn it off. Damon moans your name in his sleep. We don't need space."
"And we don't want it." Damon husked before spinning her around to pull their bodies together. She shrieked in surprise but it was quickly muffled by his mouth crashing down onto hers. She had to stop this. If she didn't, she'd let herself get carried away again and she was already confused enough. She tried to pull away from him but that only made him press into her further.
She finally choked back from his lips, realizing she hardly remembered to breath during that kiss. Her chest was heaving and her lips were bruise. She looked in his eyes and saw the smugness in them. As if he'd just proven all her protest earlier were utter bullshit. She didn't have time to decipher if that were true because Elena was tugging on her wrist to get her attention. She barely had time to fully look at her before soft lips were pressed against her own. She was pulled out of Damon's grasp and into hers.
Out of pure instinct, her hands shot up to Elena's face, pulling her closer as their lips slid across and over each other. The taller brunettes tongue slid into her mouth, completely taking over. Bonnie moaned unconsciously clenching her thighs together, remembering just how that tongue felt inside other parts of her. The sheet around Elena's body slipped to the floor, pooling around their legs.
Hands were sliding to her backside, squeezing her ass, making her gasp out, "fuck."
Suddenly, Elena, still attacking her mouth relentlessly, backed her up until her back collided with Damon's hard chest. When his hand reached up to cup her breast, while placing hot kisses on her neck, she was already nearly gone.
"Bonnie.." He husked in her ear, tweaking her hardening nipples through her shirt. A shirt she now regrets wearing. She moaned against Elena's mouth, who's hand was trailing down her stomach teasingly. When she didn't verbally answer, he tweaked her left nipple particularly hard. Her brows drew together as a groan slipped past her lips.
She pushed away from Elena's greedy mouth before the vampire began to descend kisses down her body. He grabbed her jaw, turning her attention to him.
Crystal blue orbs bored heatedly in hazy green.
"Bonnie.." He husked again, still massaging her breasts.
"Y-Yes?" She stuttered breathlessly when it seemed Elena had found her destination, hastily unbuttoning her pants and exposing her bare. One of her hands instinctively reached down to bury in her long tresses as wet kisses were pressed against her aching mound.
"Do you want us?"
She licked her lips, when she felt his member press into her ass, rock hard. Eyes fluttering, her body was becoming overheated and her mind seemed like a floating pile of mush. Utterly useless.
She really tried to remember why she was initially resisting all of this…this amazing feeling.
The feeling of being desperately wanted.
The feeling of wanting someone so badly she felt like she go crazy if she didn't have them. That's the feeling she's getting right now and she might just pull her hair out if Elena didn't stop teasing her with biting her inner thigh instead of putting her mouth where she knew she really wanted her.
"I'm talking to you, Bon Bon." Damon said before leaning forward to crush their lips together. Him leaning forward caused his member to press harder into her and she couldn't stop her hand from reaching around to grasp it.
A shiver ran through her spine at the growl in her ear and the pulsing in her hand. She let out a harsh breath when the brunette below finally swiped her tongue through her dripping folds. "Oh…" she bit her lip, letting her eyes close. But her pleasure was short lived when an unsuspecting voice ranged out from downstairs.
"Damon? Elena? Damon, are you home?"
Instant panic shot through her body at the sound of Stefan's voice. She quickly disentangled herself from them, looking frantic, fixing her disheveled clothing. Elena groaned rising from her knees, quickly dressing herself. Damon grit his teeth, walking past them.
"What the hell are you doing?" She hissed in a harsh whisper when she saw him making his way to the door in his birthday suit, proudly sporting his arousal.
"I'm going to teach my little brother a lesson about interrupting our morning sex."
Her green eyes bulged. "What? Damon no! He can't know about this."
"Bonnie, he's going to find out eventually." Elena reasoned.
"No, he's not. Damon go put some clothes on."
He glared at her, crossing his arms. "Make me."
She narrowed her eyes and focused on giving him one of her infamous aneurysms but didn't make it as painful as she'd normally would have. His jaw clenched as he tried to withstand it. Her eyes rolled, upping it a notch when she heard Stefan stomping up the stairs. When it became too much, he growled loudly before flashing to the bathroom, just as Stefan stepped into the room.
"Damon!" He stopped short at only seeing her and Elena. "Oh hi, Bonnie. I didn't know you stayed over last night."
"Um yeah, we got back really late so Elena suggested I crash here."
He nodded, glancing around the room with an uncomfortable expression. She felt like her heart stopped, eyes darting around as well, she forgot the shitstorm in was currently in. It screamed sex. Holy shit, he knows. He knows! She waited for the accusations, the look of utter disbelief and disgust but it never came. Instead he cleared his throat and looked at Elena asking, "Where's Dam-"
The bathroom door swung open with a bonor-free Damon, fully clothed much to Bonnie's immense relief though she was still stuck on Stefan. "Hello, brother."
She watched as an annoyed expression crossed his features. What's going on? Why wasn't he freaking out? Upset? Confused? Something! He just kind of brushed it off like-
That's when it hit her. He probably thought this was Damon and Elena's doing alone.
"Damon, I've been calling you since last night. Liz texted me yesterday about a guy claiming to have seen a guy with fangs on route six. She booked him for having pot but she can't hold him for long. We need to go down there figure out if we have a vampire problem." Stefan explained with his arms folded.
Damon nodded with a thoughtful expression. "I'll meet you there at noon."
Stefan paused with a frown. "Why can't you just go with me there now?"
"Because Stefan.." He walked up behind Bonnie and Elena, wrapping his arms around their shoulders and pulling them into him. "I have to drop these two lovely ladies off at college." Bonnie tried not to freak at the suspicious gaze Stefan gave them before sighing.
"Okay, fine. But hurry back Damon. We don't need any new problems. I'm going to go take a scope of the woods and hospital to see if I find anything. " Damon rolled his eyes at Stefans's nagging nature. The blonde shifted his gaze to the two girls, nodding at them. "Elena, Bonnie." With that he was gone, descending downstairs.
They refrained from speaking until they heard the front door open and slam shut. Damon looked like he was about to say something but the sound of a horn caught their attention. He flashed over to the window and groaned. "What the hell is Blondie doing here?"
She bit her lip, before going over to grab her cell phone and purse. "I told you she was picking me up."
"Bonnie." Elena sighed disappointedly.
"I have to go." She insisted when Damon was suddenly blocking her path to the door.
"Why?" He demanded with an intense glare.
She tried not to squirm under the weight of it. "You know why."
"No I really don't."
"Bonnie, please.. don't go."
"Elena, I have to." She whispered quickly before slipping past him and putting a barrier spell between them. She ran down the stairs and out the door without looking back.
"Damn it Bonnie!"
/
She tried to avoid the blonde's penetrating gaze as walked to the car. There was no way she was going to be able to escape her interrogation, but if she was able to prologue it as much as possible then so be it! She opened the door silently, getting in, praying that Caroline, for once in her life, would resist her innate urge to be nosy and just drop it.
Her prayers weren't being answered today.
"Okay, I have so many questions my head feels like it's about to explode!" Caroline exclaimed as Bonnie buckled herself in.
"Can you please just drive first." The witch almost pleaded, glancing back at the house. She felt terribly guilty about temporarily trapping them inside but she knew they'd follow if she hadn't.
The blonde looked at her strangely, before pulling out of the driveway. They were only five minutes into a silent drive until Caroline cracked. "Okay this is driving me crazy. What the hell happened back there? Why did you stay at the boardinghouse last night? Why did you make me speed all the way down here to get you? And is that a fucking hickey on your neck, Bonnie Bennett!" The blonde practically screamed alarmed, blue orbs darting frantically between the road and the bruise on the witch's neck.
Her whole body flushed in panic as her hand shot up to cup her tender bruise. Oh God. No. No! Stupid, Elena. How was she going to explain this? She couldn't explain this.
"Um excuse me, I'm waiting!" Caroline exclaimed, looking at her in bewilderment.
"I-i um, well I, c-can't." She was completely overwhelmed and panicked.
"Bonnie! I don't speak gibberish!" The blonde was still trying to do her best to not drive into a ditch while watching Bonnie out the corner of her eye.
She needed to calm down. This was Caroline. If she kept acting like a blubbering idiot, she's going to know something's up. "I went out with Damon and Elena last night." She stated somewhat calmly, while trying to prevent her nerves from eating her alive. If helped that she didn't have to look the blonde in the eye.
"And you guys didn't invite me?"
"No it wasn't like that. More of a spur of the moment kind of thing." Okay, this was getting a little easier. Still, horribly wrong but easier.
She must of have accepted that answer, because she responded with an impatient,"Continue."
"We went to a bar."
"Which bar?"
"I don't remember, Caroline." She said in annoyance at her wanting to know specific details. But could she really expect anything less?
"Were you drinking?"
"No.. Yes." She cringed.
The blonde's eyebrows furrowed clearly trying to make sense of everything. "So..you went to a bar, drank and…"
"Partied?"
"Okay.. that still doesn't explain the mark on your neck."
She needed something to reel her in. "It was a one time thing but... I met a guy."
They swerved a little on the road as Caroline practically bounced in her seat with excitement. "You met a guy? Was he hot!?"
Damon's face popped into her mind. "Um yeah, he was really hot."
"Oh my God! I can't believe you met a hot guy and I wasn't there!" She squealed with bright eyes. She looked at her with an expectant gaze when she didn't say anything else. "Well what does he look like? Describe him to me!"
"He's um tall.."
"Uhm.."
"Dark hair" Shit, she was describing Damon! "I mean blonde!"
"Wait. Did he have dark or blonde hair?"
"Both! He was a dirty blonde." She replied quickly.
"Ooo nice and?"
"He had a deep voice."
"Sexy.'"
"And he was a good dancer." She thought about them dancing in the sheets.
"A good kisser too I bet."
"Yeah.." She breathed out a little dreamily thinking about his lips.
"So what's his name and when are you guys going out?"
"His n-name?"
"Yeah."
"I didn't get his name."
"What?"
"I told you Care it was kind of a one off thing-"
"Wait please tell me you at least got his number!" The blonde shot a glance at her silence before exclaiming in frustration. "Bonnie Shelia Bennett!"
"Its not a big deal! I had a really good time but that's all it was." Was that all it really was? A good time? Why couldn't she let it go then? Why was she still thinking about it?
"But Bonnie… He could be the one!" If she wasn't so irritated with the current interrogation, she'd laugh at Caroline practically whining. The girl was ridiculous.
"He's not."
"How do you know?"
"I just do, now can we drop this please?"
Caroline huffed. "Fine. Wait I'm still confused about as to why you stayed there and why did you want me to come get you? Did something happen between you and Elena?"
She froze, eyes trained forward. "N-no why would you ask me that?"
"Because you demanded I pick you up as soon as possible when you could have rode to school with her." Caroline responded in an obvious tone. "Did Damon do something to you because I'll-"
"No, Elena wanted me to spend the night. This morning they just were fighting nonstop and I-i just had to get out of there, okay?"
"Ugh, Bonnie I could have told you that. Just because Elena asks you to do something, doesn't mean you have to do it."
"I know that, Caroline." She breathed out in annoyance, leaning her head against the window.
"What were they fighting about this time?" Came a curious question.
"Huh?" She asks already drifting from the conversation back to that night. She'd never felt that much pleasure before in her entire life, with anyone else. She squeezed her thighs together, knowing her thoughts were heading into dangerous territory.
"I said what were they fighting about."
"Oh um I don't know, I kind of tuned out."
"We seriously need to have a friendtervention."
"Yeah.." She murmured in a noncommittal tone, watching all the trees pass by them. She has to push all of this out of her mind. She obviously knew things between them for a while would be awkward to say the least, but they could get past this. Things could go back to normal again. She could feel normal again. This would be a good thing. This would be best for everyone.
So, why did she feel incredibly torn?
/
"Finally, where the hell have you been? You've missed like forty minutes." Caroline whispered to Elena but the taller brunette was staring at her with a burning gaze, that kind of made her panties wet. Crap. She was supposed to stop thinking like this.
"Excuse me?" She frowned as she watched Elena stand, moving towards her with a slightly hunched back, staring at the girl sitting on the other side of her with a friendly smile. "Do you mind moving a seat down?"
"Can you not see from here?" Caroline asked in disbelief, knowing vampires had perfect vision.
"I just want to sit there."
"What am I not good enough?"
"Caroline, please." Elena breathed through a forced smile, before turning back to the girl seated next to Bonnie. "Could you please move down?"
"Elena." Bonnie said in astonishment. Could she be any more obvious?
The girl gave her a cocked brow and a slight glare. "What's wrong with your seat?"
Elena's teeth clenched in frustration. Her usual endless supply of patience had ran out the very moment Bonnie walked away from them this morning. She was in no mood or state of mind to deal with someone else's attitude. Especially when that someone was keeping her from Bonnie. She bent down until she was at eye level with the annoying girl. "Please move over so I can sit beside my friend."
Bonnie gasped as the girl gathered her belongings, moving to the seat over, though she didn't seem happy about it.
"Okay, I know you don't like the way I take notes, but this is seriously insulting." Caroline huffed from beside her.
"I can't believe you just did that!" She whispered harshly as the vampire settle down in the seat. Her demeanor was unapologetic as she fixed her with a determined look.
"We need to talk."
"Sure. Let's talk about the fact that you just," she lowered her voice, glancing around, "compelled a girl to give you her seat. You guys promised that we'd try to be normal college students. Compulsion is not normal!"
Elena rolled her eyes, grabbing her hand. "That's not what I want to talk about!"
She snatched it back discreetly as possible. "We're not talking about that! We're never talking about that!"
"What the hell are you guys whispering about? Talk about what?" The blonde said poking her head around her to see them both.
Shit. Bonnie had forgotten for the briefest moments that Caroline had super hearing. Not to mention she was literally sitting right next to her. She turned fully to her and mouthed. Damon.
The blue eyed girl rolled her eyes and sighed, looking around Bonnie again to see Elena. "Look, Elena we can have a rant sess later about all the dumb things Damon's done this week, but for right now can we get a break from the Damon and Elena soap show." She huffed before sitting back in her seat, turning her attention back to the professor.
Elena's mouth opened and closed in confusion, while Bonnie just shook her head, as she began to copy down notes. She looked up at a faint touch to her thigh, the brunette was about to say something until she shot her a warning look, pointing to her ear and then motioning to Caroline.
The vampire rolled her eyes again and pulled out her phone, making the witch frown. She watched as her finger quickly tapped against her screen before jumping slightly at the vibration of her phone. Elena shot her a pointed look when she didn't immediately move to check it.
Why are you doing this Bonnie?
Elena I'm serious. I don't want to talk about it.
Bonnie we have to talk about it.
No we don't. We can pretend like it never happened and go back to normal.
We can't do that.
Yes, we can.
I can't do that. Neither can Damon.
Well we have to. It was a one time thing. It's not happening again.
One time thing? Do you honestly believe you can resist us?
Wow, cocky much? Damon's rubbing off on you a lot, huh?
And you rubbed off on the both of us a lot last night, huh?
She lowered her her phone, feeling kind of turned on and uncomfortable at the same time. Elena watched her for a bit, before going back to her phone. She swallowed thickly at the next message she received.
Bonnie, do you remember how wet you were for us?
She flushed immediately, glancing to her right to see if Caroline was possibly hovering, but thankfully she seemed to be in grossed with the lecture they should be paying attention to. She looked back down at another text coming in.
How you couldn't be quiet? It was so sexy.
They started coming in one after the other that she couldn't even respond. Hell, she couldn't even breathe.
The way your eyes rolled back when I went down on you.
The way you scratched down Damon's back when he was inside you.
I can't ever erase those images. Can you?
Can you seriously forget how big Damon felt inside you and go back to normal?
Can you forget me making you cum twice with my fingers and mouth?
Do you honestly think we can just be friends after all that?
She paused at that. Elena was right. How exactly were things supposed to go back to normal after all that they did? How was she suppose to shut her feelings off? Go back to 'hating' Damon? Even the thought of it didn't sit right with her. She didn't know how she was going to do this but she knew she'd have to.
We have to be.
Bonnie it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks. It only matters how we feel about each other.
Elena, I cant do this right now. Please.
She didn't wait for a response as she put her phone on do not disturb and did her best to focus, despite Elena's gaze boring into the side of her face. When their professor finally dismissed them, she was the first out of her seat.
"Hey, where are you going? I thought we were going to the smoothie bar." Caroline called as they tried to catch up with her in the crowd of bustling college kids.
"I forgot I had something to do." She lied, walking backwards, before turning in the direction of the door.
"Bonnie, wait."
She bit her lip at Elena's voice before taking a deep breath. "I'll see you guys later." And with that she was gone, lost in the crowd.
"Okay, seriously what exactly happened last night or this morning?" Caroline exasperated, looking at Elena.
The brunette could only shake her head.
/
She walked aimlessly around campus. She didn't know why this had to happen to her. Why she had to have these feelings. She'd been completely content with Caroline's proclamation of a carefree, no strings attached freshman year. Right now, she felt like there was nothing but strings attached.
It dawned on her that she'd walked way further than she had intended when she came upon an array of old beat up buildings. She frowned, glancing around at the unfamiliar territory. She didn't remember any of this from the campus tour all those months ago. She turned around and seeing the student halls in the far distance. She must have been at the back of the campus.
She turned back to the buildings. They were definitely shady looking but for some reason she felt compelled to go inside. Realistically she didn't have much to fear. It there was any crazies in there, her magic could do some serious damage if need be. Going with that reasoning, she ventured around the side of one of the buildings, marveling at the various graffiti that immediate came into her view. They were big, loud and bright. They covered almost the entirety of wall. She stumbled over a row of empty spray cans, quickly grabbing onto the painted brick. Her eyes caught sight of a red door several feet away. She let her curiosity carry her to it and inside.
Paint fumes immediately engulfed her lungs, making her cough violently, grasping a nearby chair for stability. Her vision was blurred from her coughing fit as she tried to figure out what hell she just stumble upon. There were twenty to thirty painting stations scattered all over the place. Most were average size while some of the larger ones were placed off in their own space. There was similar graffiti on the walls as the ones outside.
What the hell was this place?
She slowly walked through the maze of paintings, holding onto her arms. Her eyes scanned over the large space and let out a sigh. It was obvious she was alone. They weight of everything suddenly came crushing down at her at full force. She needed to lay down or have a drink. But seeing this place wasn't the cleanest and there wasn't any alcohol in sight, she settled for sitting over in an area that had CHILL OUT scrawled on the wall above it. She suppose it was currently fitting.
Sliding down on a seat cushion on the floor, she was crying before she knew it. Why was she crying? She doesn't cry often. The last time she cried was at her dad's funeral. Well, that thought made her cry harder. God, what was happening to her. How did she let Elena and Damon reduce her to this? Crying alone in a weird, abandoned studio that she was sure she was going to get sick from inhaling all these heavy fumes. Do they ever crack a window in here?
"Hey are you alright?" Her heart slammed in her chest at the sound of a deep voice from behind her. She whipped around to see a guy with a concerned, kind face coming to tower over her. She tried to calm her nerves. She didn't even hear him come in.
"Yeah, I'm fine." She sniffled roughly, wiping away her tears quickly as she glanced back up. Realization crossed his features as a knowing look grew in his eyes.
"So I didn't dream you up in my head." She frowned at first, confused on what he was talking about until she got a better look at him. Oh! This was the guy whom carried her books to her dorm and invited her to a party some weeks back. She'd never gone, much to Caroline's displeasure. She'd forgotten all about him.
"I'm sorry-" She began sheepishly.
"No worries. I was pretty forward when we first met. I would have run for the hills too." He laughed lightly, "You just seem incredibly interesting." He went down to take a seat next to her on the floor.
"Too interesting." She mumbled under her breath to which he either didn't hear or ignored because he continued talking.
"It also doesn't hurt that you're probably the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen. And I was a military kid. So I've been around." He paused at her brow raise. "Not like around, around. I mean, I'm totally clean- you know what, I'm Beck." He stuck his hand out to her. She giggled, sticking hers out as well to shake.
"Bonnie."
A grin broke out across his face. "Figures."
"What?"
"That you'd be named Bonnie."
It dawned on her pretty quickly that he was referring to the meaning of her name. Like she hadn't heard that one before. She peered at him with playful suspicion. "Do you plan to stop flirting with me anytime soon?"
"That depends."
"On what?"
"Is it working?"
Her smile disappeared as she looked down into her lap. "Honestly? I really wish it was. You seem like an incredible, smart guy who any girl would be lucky to havr-
"Wait, are you seriously giving me the 'it's not you, it's me' speech?" He laughed in amusement. She looked back up at him with pause.
"Inadvertently? Yes."
They both burst out in laughter. It felt good to laugh. It was definitely better than the previous alternative.
"Really though." She began after calming down. "If I wasn't in the mess I was in right now. I'd totally go for you."
He smiled warmly, letting his legs stretch out to get more comfortable. "Well that helped restore my ego some. You wanna talk about that mess?" He asked in a more serious tone.
"Um.. no not really its too complicated and-
"Messy?"
She laughed breathily. "Yes."
"Well, sometimes messes can be beautiful if you're looking with the right perspective." She gave him a strange look.
"What? I'm just saying maybe you're overreacting a little." He shrugged.
Her eyes widened in disbelief. "Overreacting? How can you say that when you don't even know the situation?"
"Then tell me the situation. We're alone. Whatever you tell me won't leave this room." He reassured, giving her arm a brief squeeze.
She bit her lip, wondering if she should really spill her guts to a complete stranger. But she really wanted to get it out of her head. "It's really bad."
"I promise I won't judge you."
"Okay. I'm insanely attracted to two people." She held her breath, watching his reaction carefully. He only stared at her as if he was waiting for her to continue.
"That's it?" He asked when she didn't.
"I'm not finished."
"Okay, I'm listening."
"Thank you. The two people I'm attracted to are together in a committed relationship and we just had sex together for the first time last night." She continued when he showed no reaction. "And what makes it worse is that it's my best friend and her boyfriend. And now they want more. Like for all of us to be together at the same time!"
"What do you want?"
She squinted her eyes at him. "Really?"
"What?" He asked confused.
"I tell you that I had a threesome with my best friend and her boyfriend, and that's all you have to say?"
"Well it sounds like it was a lot more than just a threesome. The way you're talking suggests that this goes beyond sex. Like you have feelings for them." She gave him an exasperated look. "What do you want me to do, Bonnie? Cast stones at you? This is the twenty first century."
"I know. But you've got to admit, if people saw three individuals holding hands together or on a date, they'd think it was weird."
He tilted his head. "You don't seem like the type to care about what other people think."
"I'm not."
"Then why are you pretending like you are?"
"Why are you Dr. Philling me?"
He let out a chuckle, rubbing his palms on his dark jeans. "I'm not. I'm trying to be a friend."
She crossed her arms. "Oh we're friends now? We just met."
"And you've just told me one of your deepest secrets that I intend to keep so that counts for something right?" She ignored the fact that this was hardly one of her deepest secrets, considering all things supernatural.
"I guess."
He sighed, turning to fully face her. "Let's be real here. It's obvious you have no one else to talk to about this, otherwise you wouldn't be talking to me. Just let me be here for you."
She caved at the raw sincerity in his voice and let out a reluctant, "Fine." She picked at the bottom of her blouse before speaking again. "I'm not really worried about like the world or anything. I mean, the stares would get annoying but believe me I've dealt with far worst."
"So then what are you worried about?"
"Are you a psych major or something?"
"No, you're somewhat close but stop deflecting."
She sighed. "I'm worried about our friends."
"What about them?"
"Well it's just really complicated. They already weren't too accepting of their relationship, actually they're still have some issues with it. How are they going to react about me?"
"If they're your real friends, they'll accept it for what it is." She almost wished he knew all of their history, then he'd fully understand where she was coming from.
"It's not that simple."
"It should be."
"Well, it's not." She snapped, before letting out a breath. "Sorry."
He continued unfazed. "Look, do you want to be with them?"
"I can't-
"Forget your friends, your history with them, all of it." He said almost forcefully, causing her mouth to snap shut. "I'm asking you right now in this moment, do you want to be with them?"
"Yes." She answered this time without hesitation. It was jarring how confident she sounded, how sure of herself she was about that.
"How much?"
"A lot. Scratch that. Very badly. They are literally all I can think about. It's starting to make me feel a little crazy." Her cheeks warmed.
"Then use that. Trust me, there's no point in denying yourself happiness when there's no reason too. We go through enough shit in this life, you know?"
"Yeah." She murmured as her mind flashed back to this morning. Elena and Damon practically begging her to take a chance on this. Them. Oh fuck. She's made a horrible mistake. "I've got to go. " She announced abruptly, getting up from the floor with haste, dusting off her clothes. "Listen, um, thanks for talking me through my mess. I'm sure a guy like you had better things to do than hang out in a creepy underground art studio with me."
He scratched his head sheepishly, rising to stand too. "Actually, I, uh hang out here a lot. It's kind of my little secret getaway from school and you know, crazy girls." He bumped her.
Her eyes narrowed playfully. "Mean.." He only smiled in response, gathering his notebooks and taking it to a desk a few feet away. "Don't the art majors get like upset you're kind of poaching on their territory." She asked curiously as he set up his workstation.
"Nah, they don't really care as long as you don't talk to them or touch their stuff."
She nodded."Hmm." She was about to leave when he called out to her. She turned around.
"You know you're welcome to come down here anytime." He offered, hands shoved in his front pockets.
"Oh no I don't think-
"Everyone needs a safe haven, Bonnie."
She smiled, eyes shining. "I already have one." And with that she left. She had a vampire and a doppelgänger to go see.
