Ben... Don't go down this way.
He could see the tears glistening in her pleading eyes, begging him to go with her, to join the rebellion. to join her...

You're not alone.
Neither are you.
He offered, she answered.

He felt it and he was sure she felt it, too... Until their ideals clashed.

Come with me, his own voice demanded.
Let the past die. Let's bring a new order to the galaxy. Together!
Let it all die.
Snoke,
the First Order,
the Resistance
let it die.

He could see the pain, the betrayal in those beautiful eyes, the last spark of hope dying as she lifted her hand for the saber. Luke Skywalker's saber. Anakin's, no, Darth Vader's-

Let it all die

The words forced their way into his consciousness, his very own words, repeating over and over again...

Let the past die.
Han Solo was dead. Murdered by him, murdered by his own son-
No. He was no Solo. He was Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader-

Ben!
Her scream rattled his entire being.

Stop. STOP showing me those eyes!

Let it all die.

Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order woke drenched in cold sweat. His breathing was erratic, as if he'd run for hours. His whole body was shaking, black locks sticking to his wet face that he couldn't help but bury in his hands.

He wanted to hate her. Destroy her, destroy everything she stood for, he wanted to scream until his lungs gave out, he wanted to force her image away, wipe those eyes from his memory...

To no avail.

It haunted him, not only in his dreams but during the day. He saw her disappearing around every corner, he could feel her breathing beside him and he wanted nothing more than for it to STOP-

Because deep inside, he knew.

He had lost everything Ben Solo had a long time ago, he lost what Kylo Ren meant, and now he lost what... What that other Ben seemed to gain. Her Ben. There was nothing left for him in this world. Nothing.

He was a broken man.

A tool of the Force. A container fostering the dark side, nothing else. A marionette of the self-containing structure that was the First Order, a system that didn't need him but anyone willing to take up the mantle of the Supreme Leader only for the sake of having someone carrying that name.

So why did he feel this way?

Deep inside he knew. He disavowed its existence. Becaudrdeep inside he knew that exact feeling. He knew what was eating him away, nagging at his flesh, altering his perception, keeping his mind awake at night until those dreams started haunting him again.

It was guilt.
He was a broken man.

That last time the Force connected them, their last exchange before she closed the door and left him, that exact moment he felt it. He felt himself, every piece that made up his being, shatter into a thousand pieces. Endless shards that could never be mended again. He was more torn apart than ever before.

In the end, it wasn't Snoke that broke him.
It wasn't her, as much as he wanted to make himself believe.

It was him, and him alone. He had done that to himself.

Now he was truly alone.

...Ben...?