"One more!", I slurred to the bartender, tossing some coins onto the counter.

I was angry. I was down-right furious. He had no right to say what he did and now he could rot in hell for all I cared.

I'd just downed my third martini for the night when a gold-headed man with smoldering emerald eyes sidled up beside me and huskily said "How about I buy you a drink?". He was dressed in a navy blue suit far too fancy for a danky place like this.

My mind instantly flashed to Cassian with his unruly curls and the way his eyes softened moments before I left. I forced myself to focus on the handsome man who had offered to buy me a drink.

"One more martini couldn't hurt", I replied as he sat down on the chair beside me.

"What's a beautiful girl as yourself doing in a bar on a Thursday night?"

He placed his hand low on my thigh, just slightly skimming the hem of my skin-tight dress I had opted to wear before I stormed out of Cassian's apartment.

I barely got a sound out before this man was yanked out of his seat and a blur of voices sounded in my ears and one of them was Cassian's.

Suddenly, a punch sailed through the air and landed square in the jaw of the man who had just bought me a drink. That made me see things clearer. It was Cassian who had hit him.

"Cassian!" I cried. "What the hell?"

At that moment, Cassian looked at me with those seemingly depthless eyes and they were filled with emotions my stupidly drunk self couldn't comprehend.

"Nesta. I- I should leave. I need to leave." he said, looking everywhere but at me.

I was so confused. What had just happened?

I stood there staring at Cassian walk out the door before I chased after him out letting the door slam shut behind me.

A shower of rain suddenly engulfed me as I stepped out but I didn't care. I didn't care that my mascara was running down my face or that my boots would never be the same again as long I got Cassian to stop.

"Cassian!"

He kept walking, rubbing his hands on the back of his head like he hadn't heard me.

"Cassian!" I tried again, grabbing his arm ferally.

"What the hell was that? You just walk in there, punch a guy and walk out? I, at least, deserve an explanation, don't you think?", I yelled shoving at his chest. I could taste the salty tears running down my face but they blended into the rain slamming down on us.

The ruthless look in his eyes didn't stop my brutal words but they made me wonder. Why was he so broken up?

He was the one who said I was cold and reckless. That I didn't care about what I did or who I hurt. That I was cruel and selfish and heartless.

"You think I don't care?", I continued, "Well this is me caring, Cassian. This is me standing in front of you begging you to tell me why. Why can't you just let me be? Why do you care so much?"

I don't know what pulled those words out of me. As soon as I said them I regretted it but I realized that I did want to know. Why did he care?

Cassian didn't reply. He just looked at me with those luminous eyes, the way he did before I slammed the door in his face hours ago. Those eyes were filled with desperation and longing and something else I couldn't quite understand.

He suddenly brought his mouth down on mine, hot and heavy. I could taste the rain on his lips and mine. I could taste his craving as I tried to tell him the words I wanted to but couldn't ever say aloud. He tugged on my hair as I circled my arms around his neck needing as much closeness as I could get.

He abruptly pulled away but rested his forehead against mine breathing heavily with the rain still dripping down his nose.

My dress was ripped and my lips were swollen but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything in this moment. If this was what Cassian was referring to when he said I didn't care, I couldn't argue because I didn't. All I cared about was him and those dark black curls tousled by my fingers and that goofy grin that he had plastered on his face right now.

When I looked at his eyes again, that desperation and longing was completely gone, replaced by that indecipherable emotion I couldn't understand. But now I knew what it was because I felt it too.