CHAPTER ONE

I heard the click that I wanted to hear. Then I aimed at the red-headed bitch's head and fired. But she bent over just at the wrong moment and the arrow flew out the window and it hit the fat-ass in the balls when he jumped up on the trampoline. He yelled, then you could hear a thump saying he hit the ground real damn hard. Lois yelled, "Peter!" then ran off towards the door. I yelled really loud," What the hell? These hot dogs aren't going to cut themselves! Get back here and cut the damn dogs!" But she didn't listen and kept running towards the door. So to teach her a lesson I stuffed a whole hot dog in my mouth, which made me start choking. Stewie, why the fuck would you do this? This hurts like HELL! Lois came back inside and saw me choking and said, "STEWIE! OH GOD!" then stuck her fucking hand in my throat and pulled out the hot dog. Then she fainted. Then an idea popped into my brain, I'll go back in time, and dump her in a place then leave her there so she'll be trapped! Then I'll write a fake a ransom note and place it on the coffee table like someone kidnapped her! Or more like "bitch-napped" her! HA! Good one, Stewie!