"Leonard. As soon as we get home I want to have coitus with Amy."

If Leonard had water in his mouth while hearing those words come from Sheldon's lips, it would have been spit all over the inner windsheild of his car as he drove.

Leonard and Amy spent the last 6 hours driving from California to Arizona to pick up Sheldon after his failed attempt to travel the country by train. Sheldon did last just over a month out there in the world on his own but when his belongings were stolen and he was left wandering a train station in his underwear, he had to call it quits and call Leonard to come to the rescue as he would wait for him at a local police station.


"Can you think of any reason for me not to invite Amy?" Leonard asks Penny.

"Nope..." Penny responds.

"Oh, come on! You didn't even try!," Leonard exclaimed.


Leonard turns his head to look at Sheldon who is in the passenger seat, eyes wide because of what Sheldon has just said.

Amy is in the back seat with her ears covered at Sheldon's request to speak with his roommate in "private." She's already upset at Sheldon for taking off on a train without telling her in the first place. Only Leonard and Penny knew when it happened. Amy felt insulted. She was, after all, his GIRLFRIEND. She should have been the first to know. Perhaps she could have talked things through with him to help guide him in the right direction or even run away with him to support him on his journey of healing. To top it off, who was the first person Sheldon called when he needed to be picked up in Arizona? Leonard. She wasn't even given a chance to be there for Sheldon and this hurt. She didn't hesitate to let Sheldon know how she felt either.

Sheldon turned to look at Amy in the back seat to see if she had heard what he said to Leonard even though her fingers were in her ears. "Okay good, she can't hear."

Leonard shakes his head in disbelief at his roommate.

"The reason I called you was because I didn't want Amy to know I couldn't make it on my own," Sheldon said.

"What's the big deal? this is something you should tell her..." Leonard replied before taking a sip of his water.

"Also, I wanna have coitus with Amy," Sheldon repeated.

Leonard spits out his water and starts coughing. Amy takes her fingers out of her ears and asks, "What happened? Are you okay, Leonard?" Amy asked as she watched the water he just spit out roll down the front windshield.

"I'm fine, Amy...I, uhhh...was just shocked at Sheldon's reason for not calling you. Sheldon, why don't you just tell her?," Leonard responded.

Nice save, Leonard, Sheldon thought. "Amy, I called Leonard because I failed and I didn't want you to think less of me," Said Sheldon, who could barely look his girlfriend in the eye.

"You were worried about that? Sheldon, it's okay with me that you're not perfect," Amy said.

Sheldon, having one of his childish moments, made Amy cover her ears again just so that he could tell Leonard that he thinks he wants to break up with her because of what she just said. Leonard shakes his head knowing not to take him seriously.

After dropping Amy off at her apartmemt so that she could rest after the long journey to and from Arizona, Leonard and Sheldon head to their apartment. As soon as they enter, Penny, Raj, Howard and Bernedette are there to greet Sheldon. "Hey, look who's back!" They're all cheering and full of smiles. Sheldon notices that Penny has cut her hair very short since he's been away. "You changed your hair! Your hair is different...I'm out," Sheldon exits the apartment immediately. They all exchange knowing glances at each other, not at all surprised by Sheldon's behavior due to his issues with change. Leonard goes after Sheldon who ran upstairs towards the roof of their apartment building. He finds Sheldon with his elbows resting on a brick wall as he watches cars pass by down below, taking deep breaths.

"What the hell is your problem, Sheldon?," Leonard asks him, "You can't keep running away from your problems like this."

"I know, Leonard, I know!," Sheldon yells while putting his hands over his face in frustration.

"Look, Sheldon. I know change is hard for you but it's something you're going to have to accept as life goes on. Everything happens for a reason and if you allow yourself to be okay with that, these changes will be easier for you do deal with," Leonard said.

"You're starting to sound like that psychic Penny and I saw before I left. Who, by the way, was full of marlarkey," Sheldon shot back.

Leonard shakes his head in annoyance,"You're just being stubborn and selfish as usual Sheldon but whether you like it or not, Penny cut her hair, you're going to have figure out how to deal with things at the university until you can change your field of study, the comic book store has burned down, Penny and I are engaged and will eventually move out together and someday, you and Amy will be moving in together too. Deal with it."

Sheldon stares at his roommate for a moment, taking in his every word and realizing, "You're right, Leonard."

Leonard's eyes go wide, shocked that Sheldon wasn't going against him this time, "Come on, Sheldon. You're my best friend and we've known each other for over a decade now. I don't like seeing you this way. I miss my old, confident buddy who allows nothing to slow him down. Look how far you've come already. You're a brilliant scientist who was once against human contact of any kind and now you want to have coitus with your girlfriend. Sometimes it even seems like you have feelings. It's like you're a real boy after all," Leonard pats Sheldon on the shoulder.

Sheldon gives Leonard a look, "Oh grow up, Leonard. I DO have feelings and I've always been a real boy...but thank you for everything else you said."

"I'm just messin' with you, Sheldon (No, he wasn't) and you're very welcome. So! About this coitus with Amy business? Are you sure you're ready for this? When are you gonna do it and where?" Leonard replied.

"Leonard! Leonard! Am I ready? Yes. When and where? That's none of your concern right now. If you guys happen to find out that information, then you find out but I sure as heck ain't gonna tell ya. That's personal," said Sheldon.

"Fine. Be careful though, okay? Do you have condoms? I can take you to the store to get some if you need me to," Leonard asked his friend.

"Leonard..." an embarassed Sheldon replied.

"Okay, okay fine. You should talk to Amy when you get the chance though. She was upset with you," Leonard said.

"I'm going to give her a few hours to rest and then I plan to go see her this evening," Sheldon replied.

"Okay, that's good. Seriously, are you guys gonna do it tonight?," Leonard asked half messing with Sheldon and half being dead serious.

"LEONARD!" Sheldon yelled at his friend.

"Okay, okayyyyy..." Leonard held up his hands as if he was under arrest and slowly backed away from Sheldon with his eyes on him as he moved towards the door that led back down stairs.

Sheldon held a serious face right up until Leonard reached the door when he smiled at Leonard. Leonard smiled back and closed the door behind him. Sheldon had lots to think about, including how he was going to approach his girlfriend about where he went wrong towards her.


This "one shot" is a lot longer than I thought. LOL. I'll break it up a bit for you guys. Thanks!