A/N
"I know I still have pending fics but
I've been super busy but hopefully,
I'll be getting back to them soon.
I watched episode 8 of this season and
this story just had to be written.
I hope you enjoy, and yes, I'm still around
... & I'm still shipping Gabby."THE GABBY EFFECT
Say Something
Sitting at the edged of the sofa he looked at the woman sleeping behind him, her long dark hair flowing around her calm face reminded him of someone but he knew it wasn't her. Getting up he picked up the shirt that was discarded off the wooden floor and pulled it over his head to cover his exposed torso. In the darkness he watched her sleep as he told himself for the hundredth time that it would never be her that he would take her to bed like this. She would never be the one who would pull his clothes from his body and he would never know what it felt like to discover hers.
Taking a breath he let the woman on his couch sleep as he headed for the liquor that was left in the basement. Heading toward the basement he thought about the man she was with and for how long she had been with him. As he descended the stairs he knew she wouldn't let him go and even if she did what did it matter? It's not like he would show up at her doorstep at 1 am and confess his love for her.
Since he first met her all those years ago he knew he should have did something about his feelings back then, but now just over 20 years later here he was pouring the same brand of bourbon into perhaps the same glass as he tried to drink her away for the millionth time.
His rules told him to never date a co-worker and her ideas told her to never date anyone for more than two months. That simple thought made him smile because he knew he could never break his own rules at least not that one anyway and if he did something told him that she would let him go just as easily as she let the others go… or would she?
As the whiskey burned his insides he swore that the woman upstairs was the right one for him, she was the woman he wanted to bring home to his dad and perhaps have a normal life with. Filling his glass again he thought about his father and a question he had asked years ago.
'How did you do it all these years, son?'
It was a question that was relevant now, how did he do it all these years?
How could he just stand on the sidelines, while her lovers came and went?
How could he tell himself that he was in love again but just as easily let them go?
This feeling was familiar and he hated it. He hated it that this feeling of wanting but never having had become a ritual every single time he brought a woman home or when she was seeing someone new. Why did he care so much and why the hell did he want her so much more than when he first met her? Taking another drink he knew this was a one sided battle that he fought with his feelings, but little did he know across town she was lying awake in someone else's arms.
Her black dress was on the floor as she lay there in the dark with his tattooed arm around her waist as he slept. Looking down at his arm she couldn't help but feel that she wasn't safe in them. Her hand gliding up his inked skin she fought with a familiar thought that she hated having every single time she was in bed with someone… that wasn't him.
No one could really hold her with such possession like the way he did, and no one ever came close to making her feel complete with a single look like he did. Taking a breath she tried to shake these familiar thoughts from her head because this was her routine every time she was in bed with someone that wasn't the one she wanted.
Slowly she got out of bed, trying not to wake him in the process which was easy she concluded as she rose from her bed. In the darkness she pulled a hoodie from her closet that she promised the owner she would return, but she never did. It still smelt like him she thought as she pulled it over her head. With her naked body covered she watched the man sleep in her bed and wondered how could he have not woken up?
Thinking back to the times when that person she dared to love had stayed the night she remembered that if she stirred he would pull her in closer into his arms. In the darkness she smiled at that thought but as her memory of that faded away she was reminded that it wasn't him that she brought to her bed tonight. He would never be the one she would bring to her bed like this and she would never know what his lips would feel like on hers.
Taking a deep breath she headed for her kitchen where those black roses her lover had brought her were sitting in the dark. These roses told her to keep him just a little longer and then she wondered about the countless roses the man she wanted had bought her. If a single bouquet had made her ignore her two month rule then, what would all those roses from the man she could never have meant? She once called them tighter than blood but what did that mean?
How could she love a man that women kept leaving and how could she still feel this way about him after so many years, that she didn't dare to count? Was this an infatuation or was this love? Unsure, she reached for the bottle of beer that was left on the counter and drank it. Tasting the flat warm beer she grimaced, not because of how it tasted but because of what she was thinking again.
She would always be at arms length with him even though his embrace is what shielded her from the wickedness of the world and his simple kiss on the cheek took away every fear from her body. He was the one women wanted and she was damn sure that she was one of them but unlike them, she would never have him. Setting the empty bottle of beer down on the counter she looked at her phone that lay there as it seemed to dare her to call the person who owned the sweater that she was wearing, unaware that at that same time he was looking at his own phone that was begging him to call her.
Licking the liquor off his lips he hesitantly reached for his phone and contemplated whether to call the woman that was on his mind not just this night, but every night. She was a girl that guys like him never had the pleasure to call theirs but here he was wanting her again. Taking a breath he knew he wouldn't call her and it's not like she would pick up anyway because who would be awake at this hour looking at their phone wondering what he was doing and if he was thinking of them.
At that same time she was holding her phone and looking at the number that she might as well have tattooed on her heart because just by simply seeing this number her heart fluttered and those teenage feelings of butterflies swarmed in her stomach.
'He's probably with her' she thought as her finger hovered over the send button on her screen. 'Maybe he's with her and they're sleeping on…' she shut her eyes at that thought, that someone else was lying on the couch he held her on. That was their couch and where their memories were made she told herself as she felt a hint of jealousy that someone else might be making memories with her Gibbs.
"Ugh, Abby you're stupid."
She breathed as she put her phone down and started to head back to bed where her lover slept.
"Fuck"
The man in the basement said under his breath as he to put his phone away and felt guilty that he was about to call someone else's girl.
As they both put the their crazy thoughts aside they swore that they would get over this feeling just like they always did but this was a good kind of crazy and tonight crazy was going to win. Just as soon as they made themselves to forget ever calling that crazy urge came back and simultaneously they went back to their phones and called the number they were staring at before.
Silently they both waited for the phone to ring but instead they heard that busy tone and just as quickly hung up. They were relieved but yet they both felt disappointed and for what? For not having the chance to hear the others voice or for the fact that they were calling someone else who didn't belong to them. They were friends of course and a simple call between friends meant nothing right? but they couldn't ignore the burning feeling of guilt that they wanted someone who was already taken.
Taking a deep breath she looked at her phone and thought 'why Tony are you calling him now?' Oblivious that they both tried to call each other and across town he was thinking the exact same thing that Tony was calling her.
In silence he looked at his phone and wondered why DiNozzo would be calling, that's when it dawned on him, maybe it wasn't Tony maybe it was that man he could never be. That man who had no rules to prevent him from obtaining what he desired and that man who didn't have years of friendship to gamble with, maybe she was on the phone with him he thought. While at the same time she was thinking that the lawyer she secretly wanted to be was the one who was on the phone with him. How far from the truth they both were they didn't know and perhaps they would never know because tonight she left her cell on the counter and began to walk away, as she tried to forget this familiar feeling again.
Looking up at the stairs he wondered if the woman that was sleeping on his couch was truly the one he needed and if so why was it that she wasn't the one he wanted now? If this was love, true love he knew that no other woman would matter but here he was wanting the one person he could never have. He wanted to leave this feeling on the floor of the basement just like the sawdust that didn't matter anymore but like the smell of sawdust he couldn't ignore it that it was there, it would always be there.
With another shot of bourbon he picked up his phone and as the liquor burned its way down and his courage rose as he called that number.
Feet from her phone that lay on the counter she had given up on him again, for a moment at least because once her phone rang she stopped in her tracks and thought… could it be?
The sound of the phone vibrating on the counter was getting louder as she came closer and just like the teenager she felt like when he was around she couldn't hide that stupid grin on her face as she saw his name on her phone. Clasping the phone in her hand she restrained herself from screaming even though she knew he wasn't calling to tell her all the things she ever dreamed of him saying to her. Smiling like a love struck fool she bit her bottom lip and answered.
Unsure of what to say he listened to the nervous 'hello?' on the other end of the line.
She was awake, she answered the phone and now he couldn't for the life of him, say a single word.
'Say something' …his heart whispered.
*PHOOF*
*~*~*~*~*~*
~*I've been away for so long, I'd thought I'd drop you a little something.*~
