Dear Reader: this is a Misadventure of the Avengers. This means that it is one of many random stories for entertainment value only. This Misadventure will include my Original Character, Naomi Carson. You don't necessarily have to read my fan fiction starring her… just know that she, in the fan fiction, is an Avenger, and Loki's love interest. She is just one of the characters, and the story isn't focused solely on her, so you can enjoy this story without reading hers. Keep in mind that the Misadventures are purely entertainment, and don't necessarily have anything to do with the actual Avengers storyline. The Misadventures are meant purely to entertain the insanely bored Avengers fans, like myself. Guess that's all… continue… at your own risk. O.O
The ABC's: Avengers Baking Cakes
It started in the grocery store, like most great adventures in do-it-yourself-ing.
The Avengers used to send Tony to do the shopping. Well, Tony, being Tony, often forgot half the things on the list (mostly because he forgot the list and refused help from Jarvis), and ended up buying random things the Avengers didn't need (Loki and Naomi once found themselves with a box full of dating tip books, parenting tips, condoms, and pregnancy tests; Tony had been promptly punished with three hours of dangling out the top floor of Stark Tower's window by his ankles). So after a few shopping trip disasters from Tony, the Avengers assembled and assigned Clint to go with the billionaire to the store.
Well, as it turned out, Clint was almost as bad as Tony. The two had once come home with an entire cart full of action movies and video games. They had entirely forgotten the actual groceries, too busy in the electronics section. Another time, the Avengers had gotten a call from the store manager, requesting that someone come pick up the miscreants that had been causing havoc in the store. As it turned out, Clint had been keeping watch and playing sharpshooter on anyone unlucky enough to wander too close while Tony was busy rearranging the letters on a sign to say "Stark and Barton Rock".
Needless to say, someone had to be sent to keep them in line. Steve Rogers was the obvious choice; he was responsible and a natural leader. Everyone trusted him to keep Barton and Stark in line. Unfortunately, Stark and Barton were unruly, and therefore could not be ruled. After Rogers tried to keep them on task, he found himself locked in the men's bathroom. No one was even sure how the assassin and genius managed to pull that one off… the bathrooms normally locked from the inside… But after all, they were an assassin and genius. Another time Steve was rather rudely chased out of the store by the manager while Clint and Stark rolled on the ground laughing. The troublemakers had convinced Steve that it was customary in the modern world to give a urine sample at the register so that the cashiers could verify your ID.
Thus, Naomi Carson was recruited to come with the other three Avengers for the grocery shopping, given that her sharp wit and commanding attitude around certain people should be enough to hold the others in line. On the other hand, if Naomi was going, then Loki simply had to go. And if Loki was going, Thor simply had to go.
And so it was that all the Avengers except Natasha Romanoff and Bruce Banner, along with Loki, were headed to the grocery store.
"Remind me again how we managed to get over half the team to be coming to the grocery store?" Tony said airily, looking curiously around the car as he drove.
"Eyes on the road, Stark," Rogers ordered.
"I think we'll lock you in the women's bathroom this time, Captain," Barton smirked, and Rogers immediately shut his mouth. Tony snickered and returned his eyes to the road.
Naomi rolled her eyes. "Okay, Stark… let me work this out for you. You have to come because you're the one with the credit card. Clint is coming to supposedly keep an eye on you… well, the two of you need an eye to be kept on you… therefore Steve evidently has to come. But somehow I have to come to keep an eye on Steve to make sure you two don't cause too much trouble for him. Somehow my coming automatically makes Loki come… and Loki coming automatically makes Thor come. So hence, there are now six people going to do a job that should only take one responsible person to do."
Loki snickered. "How many Avengers does it take to get groceries?"
Naomi smacked his shoulder warningly, but Loki only smirked.
"Did you guys ever use those condoms or pregnancy tests?" Tony taunted.
Both Loki and Naomi immediately blushed bright red. "No!" they exclaimed.
"You guys should really use protection…" Clint jeered wickedly.
"I think the only one who's going to need protection is you, Barton!" Naomi shook her fist threateningly at Hawk Eye while Loki was held back by Thor from leaping across the car and strangling Clint. Steve was actually blushing even brighter than Naomi or Loki.
After a rather… interesting car ride… they arrived at the grocery store and piled out.
Naomi gave all the boys the evil eye as Clint and Tony started whispering. "Alright… we are going to keep focused and just get this done. I am sick of there being nothing to eat in the tower." She marched to the front of the store, grabbed a grocery cart, and strode in.
The others followed like she was their mother and they might get grounded if they disobeyed her.
"Funny how the youngest Avenger is the only one who can keep us in line," Tony observed.
"Plus she's a girl, Loki's girlfriend, and her nickname is Hello Kitty," Clint added.
"I thought Miss Carson's nickname was Catwoman?" Thor asked in confusion.
"She has a ton of nicknames," Tony shrugged. "Like Eye of the Tiger, Cheetah Girl, Catwoman, Pussycat Doll, Thundercat, Hello Kitty, Kitty Purry, Aristocat, The Lion Queen, Crookshanks… yeah, and then her usual agent name the Huntress. SHIELD comes up with the stupidest code names."
Hawk Eye and Captain America glared. Loki just snickered while Thor smiled a little.
"Quit chatting," Naomi ordered, amber eyes burning into the boys. "Now. Let's get this done."
With Naomi as the leader, grocery shopping went relatively smoothly. Naomi deployed various boys to different aisles and got the list nearly completed in a reasonable amount of time.
"Okay, last things we need are in the bakery," she announced, leaning her whole weight against the cart, which was piled dangerously and impossibly high. Even with her whole body weight leaning against it, it didn't move.
"You're too small and slender," Loki teased, tapping her small arms.
Naomi grumbled as Thor took over the pushing of the cart.
"Okay, soo…" Naomi looked over the list. "Bread, tortillas, and donuts."
They made it to the bakery… but then things got out of control.
Somehow Naomi and Steve ended up standing alone while the others ran to the cake display excitedly, looking at it hungrily.
"Ooh! Look at that one! Strawberries and chocolate on top, brother," Thor grinned, gesturing to a cake.
"Or there's cupcakes, too," Clint announced, looking at the stacks of cupcake containers.
They continued jabbering about the various sweets for a moment while Naomi and Steve exchanged tired looks.
"I'll get them," Steve sighed, going to the cake display.
"Hey! Wait, Steve, no!" Naomi called after the Captain, but he didn't turn back, focused on the other Avengers and Loki. Naomi let out a low curse and went to the front of the heavy cart, very slowly pulling it with her as she leaned back with her hands on the front. "Stupid… boys…" she muttered as she yanked laboriously on the hefty grocery cart.
"But we want cake!" Loki glared at Steve, who was trying to convince the others to get bread and tortillas and donuts and nothing else.
"Thanks for the help, guys!" Naomi said mutinously as she approached, slowly pulling the cart with her.
Everyone glanced towards her.
"Sorry," Steve muttered, going and taking the cart from her.
"Naomi, we want cake," Loki announced impetuously. "But Steve said no."
Naomi rolled her eyes. "When did I become your mother?"
"Eww, incest!" Tony cackled at the couple.
Both grumbled.
"We still wish to partake in cake," Thor said brightly.
Tony smiled. "Since I'm buying, I say we can buy some cake."
Naomi sighed. "I've got a better idea. Since carrying a cake around is going to be way more trouble than it's worth, let's just make one. We'll grab a cake mix and make it when we get home."
Loki immediately seized her wrist. "Which way to the cake mixes, Naomi?" he demanded, dragging her away.
"They're so cute… and weird…" Tony fangirled.
Note from LoquaciousQuibbler: Alright… lol I was rather bored… I've had bits and pieces of this fic floating randomly around on my laptop for a while, and I rediscovered it today and began working on it again. If all goes well, it shall have four chapters. Next chapter, we shall start with the actual cake-making… I just had these awesome visions of the Avengers grocery shopping, and had to share them all with you… hence the first several paragraphs of this chapter :P I hope you all liked that…
Anywho. I don't have a schedule for updating this story, but I have the first two and a half chapters done… so it shouldn't be long. So… keep in mind. This is purely humor and stupidity because I was… well, writer blocked on other stuff. So… if you would be so tolerant…
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