A/N: I do not own either of these works... unfortunately.
WARNING. FEELS AHEAD.
THEE HATH BEEN SUFFICIENTLY WARNED. PROCEED.
Naruto walked down the streets of Konoha on this day of celebration with only anguish in his heart. To everybody in the village, this was the day that the Kyuubi had been sealed into a helpless baby boy, putting an end to all of the deaths that had been added to the ever growing toll.
He watched as children who were too young to remember what happened ran about playing tag as their parents watched and whispered words of hate and distain about the 'demon child' to each other. None of them whispered quietly and it stopped when they thought he had been out of hearing range.
Naruto took all of these whispers and thrown objects in stride with a grin on his face. He said hi to his friends as he passed and they paused for a moment to wave back and carry on with their day. He made it all the way to his house where he opened the door and walked in. His window was already broken and his bed torn to shreds.
Suddenly the blond ball of sunshine disappeared and became a black hole of emptiness, all of his light and hope and determination and happiness; all of it gone and sucked into this black hole of despair. His eyes lost their shine and his mouth was set in a grimace as his tears silently overflowed.
The whispered words from earlier now came back to haunt him. It felt like they were being screamed in his head, each insult another chip at his mask. He was no longer a naïve child who could pretend it was nothing to worry about. Every day of every year was agonizing. When he was gone on missions, he was on a team that didn't even want him there, let alone respect him and when he came back to Konoha, he was destroyed by their words. No matter what he did or who he told, everyone turned their backs on him because he was just a kid and was probably over reacting.
Eventually Naruto stopped trying to get help, even when there were people who came into his life that seemed to genuinely care for him. He didn't want to feel the betrayal when they finally came to abandon a forsaken child just like everyone else.
Naruto sat drowning in his fears and self-hatred. His breath came in quick gasps but he felt like it wasn't enough. He was drowning in his thoughts and they were filling the air with a miasma that suffocated him with every inhale. These thoughts were toxic and he could feel himself trembling as his arms wrapped around himself just so that he might keep the pieces that made up 'Naruto' together to survive another day but every day he came home and felt as if that was the day. That was the day he would finally give in.
He stayed in that position for a while before he saw that night was falling. He could feel the last warmth of the day leave him. He felt a sudden need to live invigorate him to move. This was always the time the villagers came for him. Naruto swore as a child and vowed never to break this promise that he would never lay his hand on a villager.
He loved Konoha and he loved his friends but it was just a fickle love. A fake love. A mirage that he made himself believe was real. He knew that as long as he hated himself, there was no one in the world that would want a monsters love, so he had trapped it. He hid it in the depths of a broken soul and turned out the lights, shrouding it in a darkness that never relented. He saved everyone the disgust of having to deal with a monsters love.
He crawled to his bathroom and shut the door, trembling as he crawled into the cabinet under the sink. He whimpered when he heard the distinct noise of someone kicking his door down. He tried to steady his breath but it sped up with the pace of his heart in fear. He closed his eyes and whimpered when he heard the crash of the bathroom door opening and the shattering of glass. He suddenly felt a gust of wind and opened his eyes only to stare into those of a man.
"Found ya." He said, grinning like the cat who caught the canary which was an accurate description of what was happening.
The man reached in and grabbed Naruto's hair, dragging him out by his blond locks. He yelped but didn't plead for him to let go because experience told him the man would do no such thing, especially on the 'monsters' behalf.
The tall brute of a man threw him in the middle of the floor as men and women surrounded him.
A woman spoke up. "Your filth has tainted our air and our children and we have kindly let you live until now but I will no longer have my children live in fear of a demon brat that haunts their dreams. You are a contagion that has been around eighteen years too long and we are this village's cure. You will die tonight or live an eternity of agony and loneliness, either way, this village is no longer yours to cherish!"
The men rallied behind the words of this woman and began beating Naruto, not with clubs or knives or bats or sticks but with his own possessions. Broken bits of his bed, pipes, drawers, pans, handles, anything and everything. Picture frames, beloved books, His own shoes. He was beat until he was bloody and he felt bones break underfoot. He screamed only when his bones broke and ribs cracked. Much more obscene and disgusting things were practiced on his body by men long into the night.
When morning came, Naruto lie in a puddle of blood, semen, piss, and vomit. His mangled limbs stuck out in painful looking directions and everything but his face was black and blue. His face just had three cuts on each cheek where his whisker marks were. His eyes were open and leaking tears but that was all there was no sound that came from this child.
He was afraid. He could feel it. Kurama wasn't helping this time. He couldn't feel the warm chakra that soothed him after the night of his birthday every year but he knew it was because he deserved it.
"No child. Not because you deserve this. But because you deserve better. I'm hoping that death will treat you kinder than the devils that linger here."
He heard Kurama whisper words of kindness in his ear and his face folded into one of pain and loneliness. He knew Kurama was fond of him but it still felt like he was being betrayed. He had no choice but to die because his only friend wouldn't help him. There was nothing Naruto could say to change the fact that he would die a humiliating death.
Naruto soon hear a commotion at his door and the laughter of a couple of his friends, probably over to wish him a belated birthday after coming home from their mission and then he smiled with an empty look on his face when he heard a scream of horror and yells of his name. He let out his own pained scream when a set of arms picked up his mangled body. He writhed and it looked horrifying with his limp broken limbs swinging freely as he screamed to make the pain stop.
He howled with physical pain and pain of the soul and every ninja who heard it shivered in horror. It was the sound of death greeting a comrade, of suffering in the deepest sense of the word. The felt the injustice of their friend and bowed their heads slightly in acknowledgment before they went on their way.
Naruto was transported to the medical bay and the Hokage was informed by her secretary about what happened. She dropped her sake and it shattered but no one was there to hear it since she was gone before it hit the ground. She showed up in the medic bay and gasped at what she saw. She had come to love the boy on the bed like her own dysfunctional little brother and what she saw now broke her heart.
She began yelling out instructions to the hesitant nurses and soon there was a flurry of movement in the room. She let the green glow engulf her hands as she dipped them inside his body to check his vital signs. Nothing looked good. She cried while doing what she could but at this point with all of these injuries and his lungs being punctured, she could only give him a couple more days to live since the foxes healing wasn't helping him this time.
"I'm sorry Naruto… I'm so… so sorry…" She repeated those words over and over as she put chakra stoppers on his most fatal wounds. She was going to at least going to give him enough time to say goodbye. She owed him that much. She stayed by his side for over six hours and when she collapsed from exhaustion, she was replaced by the wards most competent nurse. She was recharged in about an hour with chakra pills and food and was right back on the job. She spent another four hours on him and pulled away when she was done.
She woke the boy up around noon the following day and smiled at the bright blue eyes, her own filling with tears when she saw how dull and lifeless they were even before he had passed on.
"What… what am I doing alive?"
The question almost broke her heart when she hear that he knew he was going to die. She brushed his hair away from his face and smiled, though it was watery and not quite happy like a real smile was supposed to be.
"Well you're not very far off kid. You'll be leaving us for good soon. I just…. I just wanted everyone to be able to say goodbye." She whispered the last part as tears started pouring from her eyes, even when she closed them, her expression a mask of pain and loss and somewhere in his head, Naruto realized that this is what he must look like when he came home every night. He was glad no one ever saw it because it broke him a bit more when he saw it painted on his big sisters face. He was surprised when she gently wrapped her arms around him and pressed his face into her shoulder.
"How could I have let this happen… You were my precious person and now all I can give you is time to say goodbye. It hurts, Naruto. I feel like I'm talking to a ghost and I don't want to lose you. I don't want to watch you die but it's the only thing I can do now." She sobbed into his shoulder and watched as Shizune left the room and came back in.
What hurt the most right now was not any of his injuries but the fact that he couldn't move his broken arms to wrap them around her.
"I know. I loved you…" He whispered in her ear as she cried and hugged him as tight as she dared.
They were interrupted Shizune coming back into the room with a solemn look on her face.
"They're here. All of them."
Tsunade nodded and kissed Naruto on the forehead where his hetaite would usually be before pulling away, feeling as if something was being ripped from her the moment she stopped touching her beloved little brother.
She headed out to the hall that held a sufficient amount of shinobi, all connected to Naruto. Garaa had been in town with Temari but unfortunately Kankuro was absent from this marry band of kids. None of them knew why they were gathered but they did know it was about Naruto. Many of them were having thoughts along the lines of 'Naruto gets injured all the time so why are we here? Did he get himself in trouble?' but one ninja was the only one who was trying not to think about what this meant since he almost certainly knew now that they were all gathered here.
"Shinobi. Soldiers. Brothers. Sisters. Daughters. Sons. Friends of Naruto. I chose you because I know the depth in which you care for this boy." She was earning a few confused glances and worried looks, not knowing where this was going.
"I know it is heartless of me to choose for him but I don't want him to hear words of hate. Especially now." She held fast and tried to hide it but her eyes were watering.
"Tsunade… what-" Kakashi was silenced when Tsunade shook her head.
"What you see in there… I want you to burn it in your minds. I want you to remember every word he says. No matter what." She had tears sliding down her cheeks once again as she spoke the last words to prepare them. "This will be the last you'll see of him… These will be the last words he says… Because he won't live to see tomorrow." She finished, seeing all of their hearts break in front of her eyes.
She will tell them how he died when he is gone and can't beg her not to because she knew she would never do it if he asked.
Tsunade watched as her soldiers that had endured battle and loss cried for their friend. She knew how much it hurt. It felt as if they had already lost him and they were going in to meet his corpse. She saw even Sasuke cry for his friend.
She knew how much he meant to him. They were brothers in all but blood and he had been the one to make him see the light. He had given Sasuke something to live for. Something to love for and it was slipping away as he stood there.
Garaa didn't cry. He knew what wretched things were done to him from experience and it pained him to admit it but he knew it was only a matter of time.
The rest cried for happy memories that would be the only thing they had of him after this and it made her smile to know that despite it all, he was loved in the end.
She saw Kakashi and knew he was blaming himself but he was not alone. She looked over the crowd of young faces to those that were older and withered to see silent tears and looks of deep sorrow across the board as well as guilt. All of his teachers and friends looked up at Tsunade one by one and nodded when every one of them lifted their chin. She led them in silently to the room that held their friend.
As they walked in one by one, Naruto could tell their thoughts. He looked to each of their faces and was sad to say that he saw exactly what he had expected. Not that he was disappointed at anyone but himself for it. He had imagined this scene so many times but usually it was over his grave since he didn't ever think he would be able to say good bye like this.
He looked at each of them and smiled. He was weak and his life force was fading little by little so he had to make this quick.
"Hey guys." He smiled at them even though it hurt from where the people cut his face.
He took a deep breath and let his face crumple into sorrow and loss. "I know this isn't fair but I don't want you to say anything. You guys are all I had. I wish I lived more. I wish I truly loved more. You all did such a good job… putting up with a monster like me." He shook his head when he saw some people opening their mouths to say something.
"No. Listen." He could feel himself being pulled softly into an eternal slumber.
"I have one thing left to say before I go." He said, his expression slowly changing to that of the highest gratitude. "Thank you. All of you. Even if you hate me… please… don't forget me." He said, his sight starting to go. Before his hearing left him, he heard his brother's voice and felt the others hand on his.
"Good bye Naruto. My brother."
Naruto had just enough strength to shed one final tear for his brother before he was gone.
Everyone stared at the dead eyes of their friend and took a moment to realize that he was gone before they broke down, each in their own way. They all supported one another and Sasuke was the one that finally shut his eyes and wiped away the tear that he shed just for him. He howled and yelled in sadness and he felt a physical pain where his heart was. He clutched his chest as he sobbed and leaned into the warm arms that encircled him. He stayed like that with Tsunade for a while before they all departed and mourned in their own way.
The funeral was a few days later which more people were invited to but it was still a hand full of extra people that made the cut.
The shinobi were informed how Naruto died and there was rage like none Tsunade had seen before on all of their faces but there was an overwhelming injustice at the humiliation that Naruto received in death. They dealt with the information different ways. Some better than others but it was still dealing.
They were all just looking forward to the day that their little ball of light's death wouldn't hurt so much but all they could do was hope and never forget their most heroic friend.
Naruto awoke in a desert. He looked down at himself and found that he was not himself. He was all white and a fox. He found that he was suddenly surrounded by five other creatures and realized that this must be hell.
"Lookie what we have here. This one's a whammy."
These creatures went on talking for a minute and all of a sudden they were dead. Naruto had killed them. He looked down at the dead bodies of these creatures and felt an immense hunger take hold. He ate them with gusto but didn't feel the hunger subside. He would soon find that it wouldn't. Not for a very long while.
He ate and he ate and he ate becoming stronger with each soul. He only ate the evil souls, never the lonely ones. He knew they were like him. Not here by choice. He saw himself change over the years that passed like centuries in Hueco Mundo, but like days back in his world. He spent what felt like five hundred years in the hell hole of a desert but with age came the power. He walked like a human and looked like a human. He could talk and think and strategize.
His appearance had changed and so did his mind. Sure he was a monster but he was no better or worse than the devils that roamed the land.
Naruto had become powerful and trained himself by trying to feel out how his new power worked. It was complicated and fruitless at first but the more he fought people with higher spiritual pressure, the more he was able to get the hang of it. He spent hours and maybe days sitting on his own and meditating not that he could tell the difference since it was always night. He needed to see something within himself. He didn't know what he was searching for but he knew that he was missing something. He had a hole where his heart was and he knew it meant something.
He had spent centuries in this hell hole and eaten millions of creatures but each of them had a different place for their hole because every single one of them had a hole. He didn't know why he was there and he had forgotten all but the more wretched memories of his past life. If he meditated long enough, sometimes he could see memories.
One moment in time caught Naruto walking through the desert, his cold ice blue eyes almost gone blind just to save him from seeing the same scenery as well as his insanity that was sure to come. His long blonde hair was blowing in that invisible wind that always carried whispers in the everlasting night. Suddenly he felt a hole open in front of him. After all of these years, something finally changed. There was a shift. He couldn't feel hope though there was a mild curiosity as to what caused it. He reached out and felt his hand go through a barrier and come out the other side. He had no idea what he was but he felt like this was a step towards finding it.
He stepped through the hole and saw brightness. He couldn't see much other than color at this point but he didn't realize how much of his sight he had lost until he could see what he was missing. He no longer saw definition, just shapes and colors and he felt like he had lost another part of himself again. He sighed and attempted to look around but knew better. He closed his eyes and felt more clearly with his senses he had gained, allowing him to see more than a normal human eye could ever see. He could see houses miles away and figured he wouldn't be disturbed for a while.
He sat in this lonely place under the sun and meditated once again, this time not to find himself, but to align his sights. He spent hours and days visualizing the lines that made up objects and putting the colors inside them. He felt as if he were playing a game but when he reopened his eyes, he was pleased to see that his eyes were better than they had ever been before, his senses providing him the illusion of a second sight.
He took a step and another, slowly and deliberately walking to a place which he had no notion as to what awaited him there.
A/N:
Ok so I know I am already writting another story but this one just kept bugging me. I hope you guys like it I know it is quite feelsy so sorry if thats not your thing.
I do love feedback so let me know if you have questions or if you liked or disliked a certain part. I will probably work on this more than my other one but it all depends on how my inspiration flows. Let me know if you've got any ideas! This fanfiction is wide open and I will credit you if you influence my work. Plus cookies. :)
I'll be out with a second chapter soon!
-Astarot
