Mistaken Identity

By Yukitsu

Disclaimers: HxH and its characters aren't mine. Tsuki, however, is a product of my impoverished imagination. He appears in my other fanfics, but only in the non-HxH ones. Until now, at least.

This might be totally pointless, but read it anyway.

I had difficulty with this one. Since Leorio is not my favorite character (FAR away from there) I didn't know how he would think. I would have done tons better with either Kurapika or Kuroro, and maybe even Killua, but Leorio's a brain twister. With Gon it's simple; just add more than the average dose of cheerfulness and optimism, and your fanfic should be fine. With Leorio... you just can't be Leorio-ish enough

" yadda " - dialogue

YADDA - bold, stress, emphasis

~~~~~~

Do I tell, or do I not?

Do I, or do I not?

DO I, OR DO I NOT?!?!?!

ARGH!

Now I know why Pokkel was like that back then in the Hunter Exam! What a hypocrite I am!

"Stupid" I mutter under my breathe. I hate to admit it, but I'm stuck. Here, walking on the road from that kid, Gon's house, BROODING over something that I used to think of as simple....

I once thought that guys -- or girls, for that matter -- were strange. They become unbearably stupid over such silly things, they become stricken with worry, and then they start acting idiotic.

Pretty much like me... struck with love as it is.

Now back to the question.

Do I tell Kurapika I love him, or do I not?

What did Pokkel do again? Oh yeah! He cornered Ponzu during the Fourth Exam and confessed. The next time I saw them they were all lovey-dovey and celebrating Pokkel's success at being a Hunter.

So that's it? I just confess?

But what if he rejects me? I smooth my face from the confused scowl. It wouldn't do Gon and Mito-san good if their neighbors will think of their friend as a grouch.

What if Kurapika doesn't love me back after all? What if Kurapika rejects me? Worse, what if the beautiful blond won't be my friend anymore? I don't think I'll be able to take that.

Nope. The thought itself is already making me feel down. What if it REALLY happens?

Since when did I feel for the Kuruta, anyway?

Was it when he faced that fake Geneiryodan, and he looked so... lost? I felt like giving him a cuddle, back then. I only managed to stop myself in time, and then I got angry because he wouldn't finish the fight

Had it been at that time when he helped me against that Snake Charmer to get the number tag of the Bee Girl? His wisdom and maturity had been proven a hundred times over, even if it WAS Gon who risked all to save me.

I can't remember the number of times when I felt like hugging him and soothing his loneliness away. The countless times when I felt my heart racing and my stomache knotting up with my feelings for him.

Since when did I become this sappy, anyway?

That must be it.

Kurapika can make me feel things that I've never in my whole life ever felt before. I used to be obsessed with my dream of becoming a doctor. I always wanted to compensate for Pietro's death. I worked hard, like a madman. Then I achieved my goal of becoming a Hunter. The pressure lessened a LOT from my shoulders, and my feelings started to surface. The fact that Kurapika's true nature and suffering also surfaced with me didn't help my situation, either.

Kurapika disappeared from the face of the Earth for a while, but I didn't mind. I knew deep inside that we would see each other again, then I'll be able to tell him what I really feel.

But the Geneiryodan happened.

I fell even deeper for Kurapika, but I couldn't find it in my heart to tell him, seeing that he was already suffering enough. I didn't want to... impose.

Now, everything is different.

The Geneiryodan Saga is finished, and all is well.

I wonder why I still can't tell him now, after all is over and done with.

Maybe I'm just a chicken.

But I'm a Hunter!

I can't be that much of a coward if I passed the test, right?

Sometime during my dwelling, I failed to notice that I had stopped dead in my tracks. I was standing in the middle of the dirt road, frowning like an idiot. Stupid.

So... should I tell him or not?

With a shake of a head, I continued on to town.

Still frowning

Pokkel got this over with during the Hunter exam, and bet they're both doing great. What is it that makes our situation different from one another's?

Oh yeah. Pokkel loved a girl, and I'm smitten with a guy.

We're both guys.

This is bad.

And this also brings me back to square one

What will happen if I'll tell him?

I once read in a magazine that you should just face your fears and spit it out. That way, even if he rejects you, it's at least all over with. If he can't appreciate me for who I am, then at least I've done with stalking him and I'll be able to go on.

That sounds logical enough

I should be smart. I am, after all, a doctor.

Alrighty... I'll tell him!

But first... where is he? The last time I saw him was when he left Gon's house to go to the town's library. Gon had mentioned to the blond that there was a book about the Kurutas hidden within the dark corners of the small library that he found when researching about bear-foxes once. Kurapika, predictibly, went straight to the small town to hunt for the said book as soon as Gon's welcome-to-being-a-teenager-party finished. He promised to be back before sundown, but Leorio couldn't wait lest his courage fly out the island. It would be a bitch trying to look for it again, right?

The edges of the town came into view. Feeling a bit excited, I jogged lightly towards it, still thinking of where he might be if I couldn't find him at the library. If I found the library.

The plaza was the first place that I went to as soon as I got there. It looked as if it occupied half the space of the whole town, the marketplace and fountain its main attraction. Feeling that I should start somewhere, I circled the whole plaze in a counter-clockwise way.

I gazed in the stores, the library, the few restaurants, and even the restroom. He wasn't in any of them.

I wonder... did I just miss him?

Out of habit, I scratched my head.

Ah... there! At last, I catch sight of his blond locks, sitting on a chair in a restaurant with his lovely back turned to me.

I quickly gather my wits about me and stride over. A small set of old fashoined chimes tinkled merrily as I opened the door, successfully announcing my presence. He gave me a glance then turned back to his pasta in indifference, not even acknowledging that he knew me.

The hell?

*It matters not,* I thought to myself, determindly walking over to him.

This is the kicker

When I sat down in the seat across him, he glared at me as if he didn't know me

"I'm sorry, but that seat's occupied" He said rudely, raising an eyebrow at me with a matching glare

I stared at him in confusion, noticing for the first time that he had changed his clothes for a more casual attire. He was wearing black shirt, dark colored jeans, and black sneakers. I think I've never seen him wear anything so dark-colored before, already counting that beautiful female outfit he wore months back during the Geneiryodan Saga.

Ah... Kurapika looked stunning....

But I stray

I'll ask him later why he changed. This is more important, and I have to tell him NOW or else I'll lose my nerve

"That doesn't matter. I have to tell you something, Kurapika" I interrupted his scolding, earning myself an angry death-glare. What's he mad about? It's not like we're not friends, right?

"Kurapika... I..." I started. Way to go, Leorio! Stupid way to start your grand confession!

"Look, I don't have time for--" He cut in, glaring at me with hell in his eyes.

I cut him off again. "Look, Kurapika, I have to spit this out now. Kurapika," I swallowed, sweating a bit and feeling cold at the hands "Kurapika, I love you"

He looked taken aback, and then he blushed. I search his facial expression for any signs of rejection, and I see none.

I sigh

"Look, Mister," he started, clearing his throat, looking... embarassed?

"Mister?" I blinked stupidly

"Yes, Mister. Do I know you?" He finally asked, looking pointedly at me.

"What?" Before I could continue my line of thought, however, another teenager had approached us. He leaned over to Kurapika and KISSED him?!?!

"Kurapika?" I asked dumbly, my mind racing around in circles. Who was this guy? Who was he to kiss my angel?! How dare! But if Kurapika allowed him... then does that mean that Kurapika isn't against homosexual relationships?

"Who is he?" the new comer asked MY angel. He gazed at me innocently, a possessive arm wrapped around Kurapika's neck. He looked naive and childish. I wonder vaguely what Kurapika saw in him, because the Kurapika that I know is definately not the type to like innocent, naive, and childish teens. He even looked younger than Kurapika!

"I don't have a clue" Kurapika replied, giving me a scalding look.

"But Kurapika!" I started, unmeasurably hurt. My heart was like being torn into numerous shreds, the strips flying everywhere. Ow... ow... OUCH! He didn't have to deny our friendship, even if he didn't want my love for him....

"I'm not--" my blond angel started again.

"I know, Kurapika, that I'm not as good as any other guys out there, but atleast give me a chance!" I'm starting to beg now, right? That's fine. This is Kurapika we're talking about! I'll do anything for Kurapika!

"Listen. I'm not--" I cut him off again, finishing his sentence for him

"Interested? But you like HIM!" I pointed rudely at the brown haired teen by his side. The two of them looked satisfyingly embarassed, the blond blushing at bit at my comment.

"Tsuki, do you know him?" The brown haired teenager inquired innocently again, giving Kurapika a questioning look.

"Tsuki? You must be mistaken. He's Kurapika" I said automatically, staring at them dumbly, still hurt. Tsuki? If he's not Kurapika... then I just... blurted out my insides to a total stranger? But he can't be anyone but Kurapika! He looks like Kurapika... acts like Kurapika... he even eats like Kurapika!

"No. YOU must be mistaken. My name is Tsuki, not Kurapika. Consequently, I'm not interested in you" the blond said with finality and irritation in his voice. I stared at him for a long moment before my brain kicked into action and reacting. I must have frozen over like a peice of fridged tuna

Oh. My. God.

OH MY GOODNESS!

"I've been getting that a lot lately. Some weird guy once approached me and asked me if I would sleep with him, calling me Kurapika all the time. Another one jovially called me over and kept on asking if I'll work for a Neon-someone again. This Kurapika person must be gay or something, if he attracts these kind of people" Kura--- no, Tsuki said scathingly, probably taking revenge on my persistent cut-ins. Half of what he said didn't register in my mind for a while. I think I'm in shock. What do doctors do again for patients like these? I think I forgot that one too.

"Kurapika isn't!" I argued, finally reacting, belatedly realizing that I just admitted defeat and lose over that single sentence. If I just defended Kurapika's homosexuality, then I really must be thinking that Kurapika isn't a homo -- or a bi, for that matter -- and I'll never have a chance. My heart sank to the core of the Earth.

"And that's why you're bothering to tell him your inner feelings." Tsuki raised an eyebrow at me. His companion sat besides him, gazing at us in amusement. His words held some sort of truth, though. I can't be telling Kurapika what I feel for him if I knew that he's not either homo or bi.

"I love him, alright" I said defensively, my ego shattered. Oh my. This is humiliating. I stared at Tsuki. So it's true... he looked a LOT like Kurapika -- no. He looked EXACTLY like my Kurapika. He had short blond hair, green eyes, pale complexion.... But they had differences too, however slight. Tsuki's hair was paler, and more silvery. It was also more tussled looking. His skin, too, was lighter by a few shades.

"Then tell him. Not me. I really DO look like him, if someone who loves him can't differentiate me from this Kurapika guy." Tsuki remarked, his irritation seemingly somewhat subdued. Ouch. Talk about adding insult to injury. If I love Kurapika, then I SHOULD be able to tell the difference between him and every other Kurapika-clones out there, right?

Let's just say that I was very nervous, so I didn't notice.

Boy, I must have been VERY, VERY nervous.

"I'm sorry" I said sincerely, at a loss for what to say. Poor guy. This must have been as embarassing to him as it had been for me.

"It's fine. No harm done" The brown haired guy said cheerfully, grinning as if he just understood the situation. Tsuki stood up, and he followed suit

"We're going. Why don't you look for the love of your life and confess to HIM. Alright?" Tsuki didn't wait for a reply and simply walked away with his companion in tow.

Oh dear.

I don't think I can gain enough courage to confess again.

Back to square one

~~~~~~

^_^

August 6, 2003

So how was it? This is shonen-ai, I guess. Pretty one-sided too, since Kurapika didn't appear at all here. Maybe I just didn't know how I'll write them being THEM, since I have another on going fic where Leorio and Kurapika are SO not THEM.