A Misunderstanding
by Kiley S. Snape
I watched the sun rise over the mountains, and I almost expected to feel different. That somehow with the start of the new day I would feel the newfound change of age and wisdom. But I only felt more confused- more ill at ease. I glanced over my shoulder at the seemingly innocuous slips of paper...acceptance letters. One from President Raiko's administration, another from the academy my father attended, and the other bearing the insignia of the Police Academy.
I felt as a Beifong in all but blood, it was my duty to follow in Lin's footsteps- as she had done with her mother. To keep the Beifong line alive in Republic City- to serve as Lin did. My interest stopped there- I wasn't like Mako- I wanted a choice. I wanted to make Lin proud, and not feel like I was resigning myself to a career. I wanted to serve the city- I knew that much- but I did not want to do as people expected of me.
My largest apprehension was Lin's reaction. From past observations, Lin did not handle some of my choices well. But being a Beifong meant one had to take chances- to have nerve and daring. I drew away from the window, and went to the small vanity. Turning my head side to side revealed no outward change of age; perhaps I was looking too hard. I ran a comb half-heartedly through my hair, and plaited my bangs away from my face- otherwise left the mess of hair untouched. I quickly dressed, and finally left the confines of my bedroom.
I padded into the kitchen, and stopped short just past the doorway. Lin was home. Not that that was an uncommon thing, really, it was just that when she was home she was in her study- holed away to do "needless paper-pushing."
"Good morning," she said, "I made breakfast."
And she certainly did not make breakfast. Placed at the table was a pot of tea, a small bowl of winter melon slices, and a small stack of hotcakes. Quietly, I sat down and stared at the meal. I toyed with the fruit, and Lin's eyes narrowed.
"What's the matter with you?" Lin demanded, "Normally, you are going for seconds for that stuff by now."
"Haven't quite woken up yet," I mumbled.
"Hm," she grunted, and dropped into her chair.
I reached out to take hold of the teapot, and then poured my mother a cup. We shared a small smile before I averted my gaze.
Would she be furious? Would she throw me out? I fell further into my thoughts as I stared into the steaming cup of tea nestled between my hands. Lin stole several bites off my plate, and huffed when I did not bat her hand away like normal.
"Kailyn," she began, "We need to talk."
"I'm sorry, but Korra begged me to help her pack," I lied, again, "We will talk later- I promise!" I was already out the door before Lin could voice any argument. I trotted the entire way to the docks, afraid that Lin would decide to come after me.
The trek to Air Temple Island was- for once- blissfully short. I watched the current crash against the flank of the boat, and tried to ignore the thoughts pressing down on me. I hopped off the ferry the moment the walking plank touched the dock, and the ropes were fastened. I jogged up the flight of stairs, and came across Ikki and Meelo.
"Kailyn!" they chirped simultaneously, and raced up to me.
"Have you come to play with us?" Ikki chirped, "Jinora won't anymore."
"Not this time, I am looking for Korra," I apologised.
"Hey, Kailyn!" Bolin and Korra came striding into view from around the corner, the former was hurrying towards me. "You look different," Bolin continued, which caused the two of us to blush, and he quickly added, "It's a good different."
"I don't think so," I mumbled, and brushed back my hair.
"Your hair- that's it!" Bolin blurted, "You let your hair down!"
"Oh," I remarked lamely, and felt my cheeks get even hotter. Korra grinned knowingly at me, and I shot her a warning when Bolin was distracted by the airbender kids. "Are you excited for the festival, Bolin?" I asked.
"Oh yeah! This will be the first time I have ever left the city. I still don't get why you aren't coming with us..."
"I have plenty to do here," I lied, and looked to Korra, "Why don't I go help you pack?"
"That's right," Korra agreed after a moment's delay of confusion, and threaded her arm through mine.
"See you later, Bolin!" I called over my shoulder. The two of us walked out of sight, and instead of heading to Korra's chambers we went to a familiar cliffside. We settled on the lip, and let out feet dangle far above the waters of Yue Bay. I stared down at my hands, nervously folding them together and apart. My twiddling caused the earth to hum and vibrate and churned the loose soil about.
"Easy! You'll send me right off!" Korra laughed. She ceased my hands' twitching by placing one of her own over them. "Do you want to talk about what's troubling you?" she pressed faintly.
"I received responses to my applications yesterday," I mumbled.
"That's great- right? You'll go into the Police Academy like you want!"
"But I don't want to enter the Academy," I explained flatly, "I never intended to."
"Wait, I thought that's why you have been learning advanced metalbending...to become an officer."
"I want to help people, Korra, and I don't mean that Lin and the other officers don't do just that...I want to help in my own way, but I haven't figured what that is yet. The thing is- I cannot stand the thought of disappointing Lin. She sacrificed so much on my behalf that it would be terrible of me not to make her proud. She's my mother in all but blood- I can't fail her."
"I think you should tell Chief Crankypants exactly what you told me," Korra urged, "And this is Avatar Korra kind of advice."
"Thanks."
"Are you sure you won't come with us?"
"Mhm," I assured the Avatar, "Lin won't admit it, but I think she would miss me."
"Kailyn, I didn't know you were here," Tenzin announced.
"Just came to see you all off," I replied, and rose to my feet.
"Ah."
The three of us walked to the courtyard where everyone and Oogi waited. Pema walked up to me, and wordlessly handed me Rohan when I reached out for the babe. I shuffled the infant to rest on the shelf of my hip, and looked around to see who was all in attendance.
"Lil' Beifong!" Bumi greeted me in his usual exuberance, and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, "Look at you with my favourite tyke- quite the natural!" At that, he shot General Iroh a wag of his eyebrows.
My brow furrowed at the commander's remark- it didn't feel like it was for solely me. General Iroh stiffened noticeably, but said nothing. I carded my fingers through Rohan's soft, short hair and hummed softly when he started to fuss. Lin strode up to Bumi's side, and regarded me with a quirked brow.
"So how does it feel to be one year older, Kailyn?" Tenzin asked warmly.
"What?!" Lin barked.
"It's Kailyn's birthday!" Pema quipped, and smiled at me.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Korra voiced first.
"That's what I am dying to know, too," Lin drawled, and folded her arms across her chest.
"It's just another day," I belied, and looked down at Rohan to add, "Isn't that right, Rohan?" The aforementioned only gurgled and tugged on a generous handful of my hair.
"We'll have a party when we get back to the city," Korra promised, and then embraced me.
"Have a wonderful birthday, sweetie," Pema bid as she collected Rohan, and then kissed my temple.
One by one, they climbed onto Oogi- all but Bolin and General Iroh. Bolin's features set into a look of great determination, and he walked up to me. The intensity of his green gaze caused both our cheeks to ignite in a matching blush. "Happy birthday, Kailyn," he murmured. His face came even closer, until our noses almost touched. He tilted his head, and leaned in to kiss the corners of my lips.
"Thank you," I whispered, and a large grin curled my lips. I watched Bolin scuttle up Oogi, and I raised my hand in farewell. "Good bye!" I called out as the sky bison took to the air, "See you when you get back!" I tucked my stray tendrils behind my ear, and then turned about to look at Lin and General Iroh.
Both were set in blatantly rigid stances, but the firebender's eyes gleamed with something different than murder like my mother's. I knew why Lin was cross, but the general's reaction was incredibly odd. Lin grunted incoherently, and stiffly shrugged her shoulders.
"Happy birthday, Miss Hsiao," General Iroh said with a smooth bow.
"Thank you, General," I replied, and gave him a small smile. I brushed past him to find Lin, who had stalked off somewhere. I toed off my canvas shoe, and brought my foot slamming down on the earth.
Lin was looking out at Republic City, her hands clasped behind her back. I trotted up behind her, but came to a stop when her body tensed. "Mum?" I called out softly.
"You have been avoiding me all day because of some notion over your birthday?" she demanded.
"Not entirely!" I replied, voice strained.
Lin scoffed and threw her hands up in the air. I came around her and put my hands on her shoulders. We regarded each other with clashing eyes; Lin's peridot burned with abrassed heat, whereas mine gleamed with apprehension.
"What was it you wanted to talk to me about this morning?" I pressed.
"Don't pretend to care now," Lin spat, "For all the times you preached about the meaning of family, I did not expect this from you."
"I do care," I argued softly, "Always, and I am sorry I am a coward."
"I wanted to take you to Ember Island- like we had talked about."
"Oh." One burden was lifted, and even though it was replaced with another I felt lighter. I was brought back to dark days, a time when we had been imprisoned by Amon- to when Lin told me of when her own mother took her to Ember Island...I had forgotten.
"Why would you hide something like your own birthday from me?"
"Another time, I promise," I requested softly, and wrapped my arms around her. No matter how many times I embraced her, Lin still tensed before reluctantly returning the action.
"Go pack," Lin grunted, and withdrew.
It hurt still that she was always the first to pull away.
There was little time to discuss the reasons behind my avoidance of her all day- we packed, boarded our train, and during that I fell asleep. Then the boat ride from the Fire Nation to Ember Island, which I spent hanging over the railing due to seasickness and Lin held back my hair.
Lord Zuko had given Lin the use of his family's home for the duration of our stay. After we had settled in, Lin dragged me to the theatre to see "the Tale of the Blind Bandit" by the Ember Island Players.
"This is nothing like what I read!" I scoffed softly to Lin.
"What did you expect? According to Aang- they butchered his own story, too."
"But with access to information-" I began.
"-Kailyn, you're overthinking," Lin explained, "People don't come here for the truth- they come here for entertainment."
I glanced about and saw the many happy, laughing faces. She was right, and so I resigned myself to the silent endurance of the remainder of the pitiful play. Lin led me down to the beach once it was finally over, and dropped onto a large piece of driftwood.
"You ready to talk now?"
"Hardly a better time," I acquiesced, and settled on the sand in front of her. I felt like a child being brought before the headmaster. "I wasn't ignoring you entirely because I did not want you to know it was my birthday... I did it becuase I have reached a crossroad," I murmured.
Lin remained stalwartly silent.
"That same day, I received answers to several applications- all of them accepting my request… One from the Academy of Ba Sing Se, one from the Police Academy, and the third from President Raiko's administration."
"Get to the point, Kailyn."
"Lin, you have done so much for me- you took me in. I intend to do right by you, but I will not be joining the force-" I stopped myself there, and bowed my head to stare at the sand before my bent knees. "I am so sorry, Mum, but I cannot be an officer," I continued tremulously. I was ashamed to meet Lin's gaze, or even look at her. "I can only imagine how angry you-"
My breath was knocked out of me when Lin crashed into me. Her strong arms held me with a fierceness I felt in my bones. "Never feel as though you disappoint me," she rumbled, "You will never- understand?"
All I could do in response was weakly nod my head, and hold on tighter. My heart hammered in my chest, and I was sure it would give out at any moment. And yet, it felt lighter- abated by concluding that the entire ordeal was little more than a misunderstanding.
