Knockin' Boots

I'm not stupid, you know.

I know I never got much education, but then, I've never needed it, now, have I? Ain't needed any schoolin' in my engines either. Just loved 'em, and you understand what you love.

I was so surprised when Cap'n found us the day I came on board, and offered me the job. Not that I weren't grateful, it was a dream come true, but I was shocked he gave me so much as the time of day, particu'ly given as he'd found me the way he did. Not many men can take a girl serious when his first impression involves her on her back, but the Cap'n always did, and rarer still that he'd never try to get in my knickers, but Cap'n's always been a perfect gentleman. 'Twas a while I wondered if he weren't sly, but after seein' him makin' a moony fool of himself over 'Nara, I come to the general conclusion that he's a gorram idiot.

Simon is a gorram idiot. I think River's got the right of it, of him bein' a boob what takes a lot of lookin' after. Not that he don't mean well, but whatever it is that makes the words come out his mouth is busted worse than my compression coil. The man is swai, but his head's so far up his pi gu that I ain't sure as he'll ever get it out.

I don't know what I feel about Simon. I think I like him, but you understand what you love and I don't understand him the least little bit. I wish he would at least loosen up enough so we could knock boots a bit. Sometimes I wonder if he's sly.

"Not sly. Sly Simon would be smoother with women. Consensus is same as the captain. Simon is an idiot."

"River! You startled me!" I nearly jumped clean out of my boots when River popped her head into the engine room and my train of thought, but I suppose I ought to be used to it by now. She giggled, and ran out of the engine room. I swear, sometimes I don't understand her any better than that brother of hers. Leastwise she manages not to insult me every time she opens her mouth.

Gorramit, I have work to do, I can't spend the whole afternoon moonin' over Simon.

That boy better get his head out of his pi gu soon, though. I'm runnin' out of batteries.