Post-ep for 6x12, Spiral. Warning: brief mention of possible past sexual assault. Also, note the rating is M.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the show NCIS Los Angeles. That would be pretty frightening if I did. Things like this might happen.
Bite me. Pull my hair. Throw me down and rip my panties off. Make me see nothing but stars and every fiber of these 800 thread count sheets.
The voices in her head were begging her to ask for more, but she remained mute as she tilted her head back and sighed. This was what she wanted, but at the same time - it wasn't. She wanted to dig her nails into his biceps instead of stroking them softly. She wanted get lost, to relinquish control for once and see what kind of animal Marty Deeks had hidden inside of him.
Her current position was perfect, really. Kneeling on her bed, with Deeks' hands around her naked waist and his mouth dotting her neck with soft kisses…there was nothing wrong with this at all. It was perfection. So why the hell did she feel so edgy when she had quite possibly the world's sweetest man naked and primed for action?
Maybe that disposition was his problem. He was an amazing lover, just as she'd hoped he would be - romantic, skilled, and extremely generous. But romantic and loving just wasn't going to cut it after the events of their day. Bombs? Check. Guns? Of course. Being flung against a wall like a rag doll? That wasn't fun. Almost losing a friend to the virus from hell? It was enough for her to hide in the bathroom and cry for a few minutes.
She'd had one hell of a day and still had way too much adrenaline pumping through her veins for "love-making." They didn't call it that of course, because the L word was a little too real (even though they knew it was true). Though they didn't label it with anything - it was just…nice. She didn't want nice. She was horny as hell and just wanted to be, well, dirty.
"You know, you're really…" she began, trying to put her thoughts into words.
Deeks nuzzled her nose with his (again, way too sweet). "Sexy? Charming? Irresistible?"
"Gentle," she finished, and couldn't help but wince as she felt his muscles tense under her fingertips. Her tone was wrong, all wrong, when she said that word.
"Okay, umm." Almost like a security blanket, he pulled the thin sheet up to his waist as he plopped down on the mattress. "Wow, that really sounded like a negative thing."
"No, no."
He scratched the curls on his head. "Have I been doing something wrong? Not to pat myself on the back here, but I have been told I'm pretty good at this."
"You are, that's not what I'm trying-"
"And you really seemed to have been enjoying yourself." His eyes were wide with confusion, and staring at an ugly piece of art on the wall instead of at her. "And you weren't faking. I can tell the difference. Though if anybody had the skills to fool me, it might be you."
Kensi sighed and ran a hand through his hair, cupping the back of his neck. "Look at me." It was obvious to her when she saw his eyes that he was exaggerating how much she had offended him, but she felt guilty nonetheless. God, he could give killer puppy dog eyes. "No faking. Yes, you are very, very good."
"So what's the reason for this pause then, exactly?"
Once again, she had to focus on the exact words to convey her thoughts. She was bold, but not quite bold enough to say "I want you to cut out this lovey-dovey bullshit tonight and fuck me senseless because I have a lot of pent up tension and this is just what I need." It was way too early in their relationship for those conversations…if it was just sexual between them, she would say it. But this was more, way more than just sex and they've been treating this newfound layer of their partnership as if it were as fragile as a newborn baby. And despite being all in, they still couldn't communicate worth a damn.
"So, this," she motioned between the two of them, "is great. And I'm going to leave it at that, because I don't want to jinx anything. But every time we have sex doesn't have to be…a scene out of a Nicholas Sparks story."
Deeks looked like he was too busy staring at her boobs to pay attention, but he was still able to respond. "You loved The Notebook."
"Yeah, and you're the one who lent it to me." This conversation was losing ground fast. "But my point is, sometimes don't you just want to…" She clenched her fists in the air and made a fierce face.
His focus finally left her chest and returned to her face. "Fuck?"
Yes. "Yes." She licked her lips and shivered. Sitting almost naked in front of each other and talking made her feel a little vulnerable, and cold without his added body heat. Hopefully that would change soon. "Hard."
Was he really trying not to smile? It sure looked like it. "Hard fucking?" he asked.
"Hard fucking."
He shrugged. "I love hard fucking."
"You do…" Kensi had to admit; this conversation was just a little funny. But with that new bit of information, the last thing she was thinking about was laughing. "So why have I only seen Gentle Deeks, then?"
"Um." He scratched his jaw, a nervous reaction of his that she was hyper-aware of. His eyes searched her face, but she merely raised her eyebrows at him. "I don't want to do anything that might, uh, trigger some sort of memory. Or something. I don't know, really. This isn't something that we've, ya know, talked about."
Oh. It was like a light bulb lit up over her head. "Afghanistan?"
He nodded. "Yeah."
Damn him, he honestly was the sweetest guy on the planet. Her time in the desert wasn't something she liked to talk about, and he didn't force the subject. He just accepted her pain for whatever it was, just as she did with his torture. But as horrible as her experience was, it was nothing compared to what it could have been. She could at least reassure him of that. Standing up on her knees again, she scooted as close to him as possible without fully climbing in his lap and linked each finger of her hands through his. "Deeks."
He squeezed her hands. "Kensi."
Her dark eyes held his gaze firmly as she spoke. "That. Didn't. Happen." She shook her head, trying to clear her head of those kinds of thoughts. "I'm fine. Okay?"
A small smile graced his face. "Okay."
"I mean, I don't think either of us is particularly keen on being tied up," she said, bringing his right wrist to her lips. He swallowed hard and nodded in agreement, watching her intently. "But other than that, I'm pretty much up for anything."
His eyes flashed and he pursed his lips. "Anything, really?"
"Okay, maybe not anything…" But yes, almost anything. There was no need to delve that deep right away, however.
"Hmmm. Maybe this whole talking thing isn't so bad after all." With one swift motion he tugged their intertwined hands, pulling her fully into his lap. It wasn't terribly graceful, but she made up for it by looping her long legs around his waist and grinding her ass against him. And like that, the memory of their brief yet intensely personal conversation was forgotten and replaced with what started it in the first place: need.
Her energy level was back up to nuclear and she was going to pop if something didn't happen soon. "Like, dirty talking?"
Releasing her hands, he chuckled and pushed her hair off of her shoulders so he could kiss her collarbone. "Oh Kens, I could blow your mind."
Oh, for the love of… "Is that right?"
"Uh huh." She closed her eyes in anticipation. His actions weren't much different than before – one hand twirling in her hair while the other squeezed her ass, his mouth trailing its way down her chest, the mild coconut scent of his shampoo wafting up to her nose – yet somehow, she was way more excited now. "That's not what you want though, is it?"
Mind blowing, not what she wanted? Really? Her hands migrated to the curls at the nape of his neck, latching on for dear life as his tongue flicked out against her nipple. "What?"
"You don't want me to talk dirty, do you?" He swirled his tongue, then paused as he waited for a response that didn't come. Her chest heaved up and down, his hot breath teasing her until he took her breast in his mouth and bit down.
Kensi jumped (and maybe squealed, but she would never admit it). Her eyes were still closed and she was trying to focus, but God he was getting hard underneath her and it felt so good that it was all she could think about. Everything about Deeks felt different – the tone of his voice, the touch of his hands on her body, even his mouth seemed more aggressive. She was loving every bit of it.
"Kensi."
"Mmm?"
The fingers in her hair turned into a tight fist and tugged, jerking her head back. That was enough to snap her eyes open and see his blue ones staring intently at her. "Tell me what you want," he ordered gruffly.
Now this was fun. Maybe on a different day she would drag the game out, but she knew what she needed and wanted it now. "I want you to fuck me."
A low growl escaped from his throat. Before she could think about throwing a "please" at the end of her request, her breath was stolen away by his lips on hers. Goodness, she thought he was trying to devour her. Not that she was complaining – she quite liked his tongue being tangled up with hers. She just wasn't accustomed to Deeks doing it this forcefully. But this is what she wanted, what she asked for, and he was sure as hell giving it to her.
She pulled away with a gasp, staring at his heavy eyes and red lips. Oh, those lips. Maybe air wasn't necessary at the moment, she could just live off of him and him alone. "Deeks," she whispered, leaning in to him again.
He shook his head and pulled away. "On your knees."
Holy shit. Well, she'd never be able to look at him arresting anyone the same way again.
With wide eyes, she untangled her legs from his waist and crawled towards the headboard of her bed. His eyes never left her one second. A less confident woman might have felt somewhat uncomfortable on all fours with her ass in the air. But Kensi? No, she wiggled it playfully.
She could hear him hum appreciatively before she felt strong hands on her hips, dipping into her black cotton panties. His teeth lightly grazed the soft skin of her cheeks as he exposed it, sending a shiver up her spine that was strong enough to make her shake. Her underwear dropped to her knees and she tried to wiggle free from them but he held her firmly in place. Spreading her thighs, he pulled her back towards his face and firmly licked her center.
It didn't take long after that for her forehead to meet the pillow with a thud. She whimpered, more in agony of anticipation than delight. Her fingers twisted around her pillowcase, silently willing him to end his teasing and just fuck her already.
What? She's never claimed to be classy.
And then he stopped. She wanted to lift her head, to see what was coming next - but at the same time, being blinded by her linen was sort of titillating. So, she clutched her pillow and waited.
And waited.
Truthfully, she didn't have to wait that long, but it felt like forever.
His hands were tracing the curves of her thighs, over her hips and finally settled in the dip of her hipbones. This wasn't really her idea of hard fucking. Maybe they'd have to do a little more talking after this was over...
Without warning, he thrust into her, filling completely. She cried out, muffled by the pillow but loud enough that he could hear it. Laying his chest flush against her back, he wrapped one arm around her waist while he brushed the hair off of her neck with the other hand. "Is this what you wanted?" Deeks asked, his words reverberating in her ears.
Kensi lifted her head, nodding once. "Uh huh." She took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "More."
He was more than willing to oblige, attacking her hard and fast, to the point where she could barely even form a thought process in her head. Usually during sex she liked to envision beautiful seascapes, or the mountains, or even firing a new gun at the gun range. But right now her brain was a Deeks-induced pile of mush and there was only one thought running through it.
That...is...the...spot.
It was the spot over, and over, and over again until her toes were curled so tight that her calves started to cramp. His hand holding her belly slid lower between her legs, applying pressure just where she needed to push her over the edge. Every shred of tension in her body poured out in a single throaty "fuck" as her body shook under the weight of her partner.
After she regained control of her mind and body again, Kensi released her pillow from its death grip. She stretched her tired muscles and grasped for any piece of Deeks' skin she could reach. The soft hairs on his thigh led way to his surprisingly perfect ass, which she squeezed softly. That action snapped him out of his rhythm and he slowed himself, leaning down to kiss her neck.
With a small moan, she curved her back up against him. It was hard not being able to see his face, not having the added benefit of seeing that he was enjoying his being inside of her as much as she was. His hands all over her body and teeth on her shoulder blade were a pretty damn good indication, though.
He breathed, or more like panted, in her ear. "You good?"
By now she was almost flat against the bed, and starting to feel weak and giddy. But she was better than good. "Fantastic."
Deeks smirked against her neck and sat back on the bed, smacking her lightly on the ass before finally slipping her panties off of her legs. "Up on your knees again."
"Hmm," she murmured, doing what was asked of her. "I kinda like this bossy Deeks."
Wasting no time, he grabbed her hips and entered her again. He closed his eyes and smiled softly before kissing the curve of her back. "I noticed."
It turned out that Bossy Deeks didn't so much like it hard and fast as rough and deep, with hair pulling and nipple pinching. Which, Kensi realized, she kind of liked too. But her favorite part of this Deeks? The way he growled her name possessively when he came. It wasn't just the act of sex that he enjoyed - it was because it was with her.
He sighed and crashed on the bed next to her, kissing her on the head on his way down. "You okay?"
In a way, she was great. She was happy and satisfied and free of tension and adrenaline. But now that it was all over, her body was screaming cries of pain and exhaustion. She wouldn't blame adrenal fatigue this time. This was just the letdown after the culmination of everything that occurred during the day. She needed sleep, and maybe some snuggles, and definitely to pee. "Yeah. Help me up?"
Deeks rolled her out of bed and straightened up their mess while she cleaned up, and was even waiting with open arms when she dragged herself back to bed. She fell into them and closed her eyes, content to sleep there for the rest of the night.
"So, that was fun."
Pillow talk, Deeks, really? "Yeah...sex is usually pretty fun."
"You know what I mean." He pulled the sheet snug around them. "It's not just the sex, though that was capital A awesome. I just feel really, uh..."
Kensi grinned. "Are you getting all emotional on me?"
"No, and shut up."
"Sorry."
"As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted," he teased. "I feel very comfortable with you, but it has still been a bit of an adjustment. But I think it's working, and that we're growing closer every day. I like it. That's all."
"It" could mean so many things to them, of course. For her, she really liked that they were finally learning how to talk to each other. Their self-created high walls were starting to crumble more and more each day. Maybe this didn't have to be so hard after all. "I like it, too."
He yawned, and five seconds later she did too. "Hey, one more thing before I fall asleep," she murmured.
"Hmm mmm, what's that?"
"You could blow my mind, huh?"
Deeks snorted and closed his eyes. "In so many ways."
If she weren't halfway asleep, that statement would have sent her heart racing. Instead, it just made her happy. "I can't wait."
