Boys and Girls

by Kloudy Reignfall

Okay. So I was just sitting here at my computer one day, bored out of my mind and listening to my beloved CD player and the song "Boys and Girls" by GC came on. And the funniest little scene popped into my head. And it inspired this strange little fic. So, here you go!

Disclaimers: I don't own DNAngel obviously, but I do own this fic. I don't own the song Boys and Girls, or the band GC, but I do own the cd. I do not have anything against gay people (actually i love them!), blondes (I am one), Americans (again, I am one), people who eat McDonalds (also me), people named Heather, optometrists, father figures, glasses, contacts, dyed hair, airports, or small messy apartments. (Just so we know.)

Educated, with money.
He's well-dressed, not funny.
And not much to say in most conversations,
But he'll put the bill in all situations,
Cuz he pays for everything.
Girls don't like boys girls like cars and money!
Boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny!
Paper or plastic, don't matter, she'll have it.
Vacations or shopping sprees, these are a few of her favorite things.
She'll get what she wants if she's willing to please.
::I forgot what goes here::
And these girls like these boys like these boys like these girls.
The girls with the bodies like boys with Ferraris.

Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money.

Boys and Girls - a fanfiction

Chapter 1

(Satoshi POV)

Why do I have to get married?! WHY?!

I know why. Because my damned 'father' says so!

And because of society.

"Satoshi, it's unnatural for a successful young man like yourself not to get married once he's old enough."

"Uh, yeah. Well, I don't care."

"Damn it, Satoshi! You're getting married whether you like it or not! I will not have you walking around in our society, doing as you please!"

"Grr."

"... Did you just growl at me?"

"No, no. Never."

"Okay, but as I was saying, you will get married!"

"Sure, okay, whatever you say." I walked away and proceeded to buy that dart-board I'd thought of purchasing so much lately.


The next day, my 'dad' comes up to me while I'm setting up my beloved dart-board.

"Satoshi, I've found someone."

"Really?" I asked. "That's great dad. You've been alone for a long time. I always thought you needed a woman friend."

"No, I mean for you! I've finally found you a suitable wife."

"...Finally? You've only been searching for a day. Anyway, I told you I'm not getting married."

Daddy put on his angry face. "And why not?! Give me one good reason why you shouldn't marry this girl!"

"Well, for one thing, I've never met her..." That wasn't the real reason of course, but I'll be damned if I was going to admit to my 'father' the actual reason.

He didn't care for my excuse. "That'll soon be fixed. She's flying here already."

"Flying?" I asked. "Now, I don't want to marry any mutant freaks. You know wings are a big turn-off for me." Hmm... That wasn't exactly true, but hey, he didn't know it.

He smacked me upside the head knocking my glasses off. "Smart-ass! You know what I mean! Well, the girl is getting in tomorrow at 9:30 PM, so you had better clean your apartment up." He began to walk away, but turned back to me mid-stride. "And I don't like those glasses. You look like a freak. We should get you some contacts."

He walked out and slammed the door behind him, just in time for a dart to miss his head.

"I like my glasses, thank you very much!"


But it didn't really matter, because my 'father' controls my life. So I was at the optometrist with him the next day.

The doctor shined that stupid light into my eyes and smiled idiotically. "You've got some really beautiful eyes," he told me.

My dad didn't like that. "Hey, hey, none of that! He's taken!"

"Oh, really?" The doctor guy said, like he didn't really care.

"Yes, really. He's getting married next week." Damn, he must be pretty proud. I hadn't heard him talk to this many strangers since the day he won that dumb award for 'Most successful man under the age of thirty' that he won a few years ago.

"Well, congratulations," the doctor said to me. "You must be so excited."

"Not really." I told the doc. "I'd rather marry you."

He finished the prescription, and handed 'father' the bag with my contacts in it. Before we left, doc pulled me aside and handed me a slip of paper.

"Call me sometime, okay?" he said with a wink.

I tried not to show my disgust.


I don't like airports. They're gross. A bunch of gross sweaty random unsanitary people walk through it all day. And they're crowded. And you can never never never find the person you're looking for.

I guess it didn't help that I didn't know what she looked like. So I just stood there with my hands in my pockets, staring at the crowds of passers-by and being yelled at by my dad, about something. I dunno, I wasn't listening. I was thinking about how weird it was going to be having someone else living in my house, and wondering how I could get her to leave.

Then, out of nowhere, this girl comes up to us, and she just stands there looking at us.

I blink.

She blinks.

My 'father' stares.

Then she speaks.

"Are you mister Hiwatari?"

"Yes I am. How do you do?" He shakes her hand. "This is my son Satoshi."

I don't want to touch her, so I put my hands back in my pockets and nod to her.

My 'dad' is talking to me now. "This is Heather. She's from America."

I blink. We start to walk through the hoards of gross people, me walking behind Heather and Father, who seem to be deep in conversation with each other in English. I look at her.

She's tall. She has long straight blonde hair, and green eyes. She is tan and wearing a small, tight outfit. She's... a girl. And she's all wrong!

Ugh. At least she can speak Japanese. I don't know how I'd get her to leave otherwise.

Dad took us both back to my apartment and dropped us off, speeding away like the idiot he is.

I turned to Heather. "You don't want to marry me."

She cocked her head, like a bird, only without wings. "And why not?" she asked.

"Because. I'm the devil," I said randomly.

"Okay," she says.

"I eat people," I tell her.

"Oh well," she says.

"I'm allergic to blondes," I say, getting exasperated.

She looks at me. "Is that your real hair color?"

I sigh, shake my head, say, "I'm going to kill you if you don't go away."

"No you won't." ...Does nothing phase this girl?

I go in my house and slam the door in her face. Seconds later I find her in my bedroom.

"How did you get in here?" I ask, paranoid.

"Climbed through the window," she says.

Damn Americans. Are they on crack or what?

I sigh, annoyed, and then proceed to my bed, where I lay down and hope she will go away.

Sadly, I find her next to me, attempting to cuddle and blocking my path of escape. I roll over and try to go to sleep, but she drapes an arm around me.

'Go to sleep,' I tell myself. 'Ignore her. Think of someone else. It's not her, it's someone else.'

I think that a small person with red hair is cuddled against me. And soon I fall into dreamland.


But, all too soon, I wake up. Look over. Remember yesterday. Remember my dream. Scream into my pillow.

I hate real life.

Heather is not yet awake, thank god. I hope she has died in her sleep, but I see her breathing. She's still alive. Damn.

I slowly, very slowly, get up and go into the kitchen. I want to make breakfast, but I come to the conclusion that if I make no noise, annoying blonde girl might sleep forever!

I smile. My thoughts drift. I resolve to later make a much desired phone call.

I fall asleep contemplating the possible future.


And then, when I wake up again, the girl is sitting on top of me. In an odd way. You know, with her legs all spread apart and stuff. Um...straddling. Yeah, that's the word.

She was straddling me.

It made me really uncomfortable, having some semi-random girl straddling me. Only one person...well, two people... have done that to me before, and only one person...yes, only one... is allowed to do so.

I make a mistake in telling her so.

"Aww! What, you have a girlfriend?" She smiles cutely. It's annoying.

"Grr."

"Did you just growl at me?"

"What? No, never."

She persists. "What is she like?" she asks, feigning friendly conversation. I think... maybe this girl would be ok... well, if I didn't have to marry her. Damn about that.

But still, the question angers me. "I don't have a girlfriend." I tell her firmly. "Nor do I have a fiancé." I shove at her, but she is heavier than she looks. Damn Americans. It must be all the McDonalds they eat.

She looks at, like she's considering something. The look on her face is...ugh... cute. But only because it reminds me of someone else, who also frequently wears that look.

I decide to talk to her. Maybe if I can distract her I can muster all my strength and push her off of me.

"Why do you want to marry me anyway?"

She smiles. Geez, is this girl just too stupid to do anything else? "Well, your dad said that if I married you I would have a really nice life! See, he's going to pay for all sorts of stuff for me! Vacations and shopping sprees, and cars and money! And anyway, he said that we don't really have to be together that much. So I guess you can go off with your girlfriend or something as long as you don't get her pregnant."

"I told you I don't have a girlfriend," I say to her. But still, a thought comes to my mind. I can just see it: the both of us living in a huge mansion, and me slipping her a thousand dollar bill so she can go do whatever the hell she wants I can go off with my redhead...

I must have been blushing or something because the stupid blonde girl (Um Heather, wasn't it?) giggles and gets off me to go sit down on the other couch.

"You must be in love, what with that look on your face! Teehee! You're kind of cute. Whoever the girl is, she's lucky!"

Mindlessly, I say: "I don't love a girl! I love..." and then I catch myself. Sadly, the Heather girl is not as stupid as I thought she was.

"Gasp! Awwww! You're gay?! How cute!" She squeals. It hurts my ears but I can't help smiling anyway and the thought that someone actually supports my...as of yet non-existent possible relationship with a guy.

I smile widely. "So, does this mean you're not going to marry me?"

She keeps smiling. "No, I'm still going to marry you! Who in their right mind would pass up the opportunity for so much money?"

::Facepalm::

Damn.

End Chapter 1

To be continued! Hehehe ah, I amuse myself! But that's a good thing right? Well, anyway, this wasn't really meant to be a serious story, it was just something I wrote in my spare time when I was bored. I'll write the next piece some time when I'm bored again, and that will probably be the end of it, but hey, who knows?

Well, I'm glad if you like it, and if not, well sorry. But either way I'd love for you to leave a review!

-Kloudy Reignfall, your favorite sugar-deprived author! j/k