Author's Note: This is my first attempt at writing a fanfic one-shot so please don't hate it a Jeyna Songfic! I don't own PJO or HoO all right belong to Rick Riorden and I also don't own the song Perfect Nightmare!
Perfect Nightmare
Sometimes we fight, sometimes I cry
Why don't I just tell him goodbye?
Sometimes I should, but sometimes I don't
Build up the strength to say that it's wrong
I tried to let him go. It didn't work. Everywhere I went he is in my mind. No matter how hard I try to let him go Jason Grace crept into my thoughts my dreams and my very heart. I walk around our… no my home with my head held high so no one can see the pain in my heart. No matter how hard I tried to stop loving him it never worked….
Sometimes I hate, sometimes I love
Sometimes I hurt, sometimes I don't
Sometimes I wait for him to change
But it's okay I've disguised the pain
I try my hardest to hate him for leaving me on my own for 8 long months but I can't. I see him everywhere I turn and I remember the love we had and the happy time we shared but he can't remember them. I keep telling myself that everyone hurts at some point in their lives but I say it to no avail. There are times I forget my pain….
Then I see them sitting in the café we always went to, laughing at the things we once did, sharing our love of the stars. No matter how hard I try and forget those times I can't. I just keep waiting for him to change his mind and come begging for my forgiveness. To tell you the truth I will always love Jason with all my heart and I will forgive him when the time comes… if the time ever comes. But for now I will hide the hurt, the bedrail, and the heart break behind the emotionless mask I have perfected.
And I don't ever wanna leave him alone
They say I'm brainwashed
But I'm in love
With this man, yeah
When he is near me I feel like I can breathe but I won't let him know that. I don't ever want him to leave me again but I know he will. Gwen, Kota, and Bobby try and tell me that he will remember me and love me again but I don't believe them. I pry to Juno even though she is the cause of this pain. I pray that she will allow me to forget but she never answers. It's as if she wants me to suffer for the love I had. Juno, the Queen goddess, willing my Saving Grace to forget his Battle Queen.
Keep telling myself that it's not worth it
I already know I don't deserve it
But if it's from you, I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare so when will I wake up and scream?
I try so hard to forget him but like a thief in the night he creeps into my mind at every hour. I try and tell myself that he isn't worth my time and tears that his love is something that a daughter of war could never deserve. Every smile he shows me, every time he laughs and every time he looks my way it hurts but as long as he is happy and safe I won't mind the pain in my heart. He is my Saving Grace and I am no longer his Queen. I relive the moment I see him stepping off the Argo II hoping it was a nightmare that I'll soon wake up from it and things will be normal again but they never are.
No way, no way, no way, no way
No way, no way, no way
But if it's from you, I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare, perfect nightmare
Jason Grace, son of Jupiter, consul to demigods, praetor of the First Legion, slayer of the Trojan sea monster, destroyer of the black throne of Kronos and the Titan Krios, was my perfect nightmare. His name made me shake but I never showed any of it. Gods I wish I could just yell and scream at him when he is with that daughter of Venus, Piper but it's not very Roman to show emotion. He tells me that he remembers bits and pieces of me and our past. I see that he isn't as close to Piper as he was at first. Maybe my perfect nightmare is coming true…
Sometimes I keep my cool, sometimes I let him know
Sometimes I even pack my bags to walk out the door
Sometimes I feel safe, sometimes I really don't
Sometimes I promise that I'm ready to let him go
I say that I'm over him and that I'm moving on but with each fight they have I feel hope rise in me. I see them kiss and it dies. Maybe my Air Head is coming back to me; maybe he does need his Queen after all. I promise that I will move on f he doesn't but how can I be sure if I will ever keep that promise. Jason has had my heart from the first moment we met. He the air headed son of Jupiter and I the strong fierce daughter of Bellona were always together. No matter if it was a race to New Rome to buy more Jelly Beans or a quest to defend our home from an attack. The promise of me letting him go was one that I couldn't keep no matter how much it hurt. I needed my Saving Grace….
Hopin' he's changing
But I'm scared he's not
Can't see a way to leave
Help me open my eyes
I see him becoming the old Roman Jason at time but at the same time he is still the Greek Jason. I'm scared to see the Greek ways take my Bolt Boy from me. As scared as I am I will never show it. I can't find a way to forget him so I've given up. I go to the Fields of mars to train and relive some stress and there he is looking like a young Adonis. He sees me walk in and smiles I roll my eyes at the way he tries to make me laugh but I crack and let out a small smile. He tells me that he remembers everything from our first meeting where I knocked him on his podex to the day he kissed me and asked me to be his. I try to keep my face emotionless but he knows me all too well.
No way, no way, no way, no way
No way, no way, no way
But if it's from you, I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare, perfect nightmare
My Fly Boy is back…My Jason is back…. The first thing he says to me once the ceremony for his acceptance as praetor is over made me smile and made my heart leap straight out of my chest. The words I've been waiting to hear for years were finally coming out of his mouth "Te amo, mi Bello regina pulchra" he says. I smile and say "Te amo etiam salutis meae" forgetting where we are we kiss and ignore the world around us till Gwen yells "IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU TWO GOT TOGETHER!" to my amazement no one thought of me as less Roman they all cheered and clapped…
It's been two years since then. In those two years many things have happened. Gwen and Kota got together, Percy and Annabeth got married and are expecting their first child, Hazel and Leo are engaged, Bobby found himself a great girl to match his craziness, she is a daughter of Mercury, to my surprise Piper started going out with Frank, Nico and Thaila are also married, and finally Jason and I are happily married with twins Aelia and Aelius. No matter how hard Juno tried Venus always favored Jason and I. She blessed us with all the love we had and all the love that was to come.
Jason Grace was and always will be my….
Perfect nightmare
