NOTE: This story is heavily based off a dream my brother had and although there are probably quite a few stories like this he did not draw inspiration from them (he had the dream before we knew much about fanfiction) and I at least tried to be original. This story is written from my brother's perspective. Now enjoy the 1,000 word story.
"So, one ticket to Toy Story 3. That'll be $12.50."
I grew up watching the original Toy Stories when I was younger. I remember once when we moved into our new house, my parents distracted my brother and I by playing Toy Story roughly five times in one day. He was too young to really understand anything over the visuals, so when the two movies came out in 3D, he got an entirely different experience, and me too. There were jokes that flew right over my head when I was younger. Now I was seventeen and ready to watch the final installment of the series I grew up with.
I went into the theater and went to the higher half of the seats so I could take one in the middle. Unsurprisingly, the theater was filled with kids and their parents. It had a few teenagers that were willing to give up their high school dignity to watch the movie the night it was released, and there was an elderly man near the back. I couldn't wait for it to start.
After the opening montage involving trains and a barrel of monkeys acting as a nuke, Andy's mom came into Andy's room with a camera. It was then that I swear someone switched the films flawlessly with another film of equal production quality as Pixar. Instead of having a montage of Andy growing up, his mom just left the room (as I watched on the DVD version of the movie later on), and Andy cleaned his room and sat down at a desk and started doing homework. Then Woody looked out of the toy box. He decided today would be the day he told Andy his secret, I could tell from his face. He lifted the lid of the box higher, but Rex stopped him.
"What are you doing?" Rex asked.
"I'm going to do something before it's too late." Woody said. The imitators for Wallace Shawn and Tom Hanks were perfect (at least, they must have been imitators or offered a lot of money to do the voicing), nobody in the theater suspected what would happen next.
Woody snuck to behind Andy's desk the usual way he gets around without being caught, then climbed up a back leg and jumped onto it. "Surprise!" Woody said.
Andy looked, but was not very surprised.
"What, you aren't shocked, Andy?"
"Not really," said Andy. "I've watched enough TV shows that I started hoping you really were alive. I'm happy, really."
"Oh. It's just that…it's been my dream to let you know before you left, and now…you don't care."
"I'm not leaving for eight more years, Woody. That's like half of my life. Besides, I told you I was happy, wasn't I?"
"Yeah." Woody said. "Let me stroke your cock!"
"What!" A woman in front of me screamed. I was shocked, too, but thought I just misheard it to be something like poke your clock (there was a clock on Andy's desk). I was willing to believe anything other than that Woody just offered Andy a handjob.
"Okay, Woody." Andy said with more joy than I wish he did. He then undid his pants. Woody jumped down and standing on Andy's pubic bone, used his two "hands" to pick up Andy's unerect penis and flail it around.
"Reach for the sky."
Children started crying.
"Hey look, now you have a Woody!" The toy cowboy said when Andy's dick hardened.
A group of teenagers behind me started laughing uncontrollably. I was so shocked at these actions that I couldn't move. I wouldn't be able to tell you if I even blinked.
Woody then went to the other side of Andy's penis, stepping on his scrotum. He stood on the balls of his feet so the spurs would only lightly graze Andy's testicles. He continued rubbing.
By now, parents were forcing their children out of the building. Some were crying. Whether it was because of what was happening on the screen or because the parents were grabbing them by their arms and pulling I do not know.
"Woody, I feel like my penis is going to explode."
"Oh good! Tell me when it's unbearable!"
This whole event was but seconds long, but I felt it was much longer than it should have been (a whopping zero seconds). I forced my brain which I swore was shut down from shock at this point to turn around the see the elderly man talking to a young woman next to him I assume is his mature granddaughter, both oblivious to what is going on.
"Okay, Woody!"
Woody shoved his semi-sharp nose into Andy's urethra. Tried as he could, he could not stop Andy's semen from flying everywhere and got some on his face.
"Somebody's poisoned the waterhole!" Woody said in his common and now creepy tone due to the context of the situation. Then Woody took off his right shoe and placed it on Andy's dick, shouting, "There's a snake in my boot!" I laughed, then laughed harder at the fact that I just laughed at that ending joke to such a sadistic scene. At least, I think that was the end. By now the workers at the theater shut off the movie due to a crowd of parents swarming by the customer support complaining about the issue. The manager gave everyone twenty free tickets for movies because of the incident, and updated their policy that they cannot be held responsible if such an elaborate prank were to ever be held again, but they would do their best to stop it every time it happened. I went home and looked up the story on the Internet, and it seems that the tape was switched in twenty different movie theaters in my county that day. Everyone who had the ability to access the control rooms of the theater were immediately questioned by the police.
Try as they might, though, no justice will remove the mental scarring that I endured.
