For some reason, my mind can't quite grasp the fact that my new captain had only recently become what he is. And no, I'm not talking about his reputation for being the worlds biggest asshole. That one 'fateful' day, as he calls it, had apparently been the turning point towards his new way of life. A way of life which could be directly compared with an obsessive religion- hailing one particular man as his lord and saviour. I've been told the story hundreds of times already, and I've only been on this manic ship for a week!
This scrawny teenage boy... sorry, this godly young man, had apparently been saved by a bolt of lightning from the high heavens. This was supposably a sign that he was 'destined for greatness' and would 'undeniably become the Pirate King.' The Captain had been so utterly entranced by the D, that he was inspired to be just like him.
And so, the childish fanboy had immediately gathered a crew and began his journey on the high seas. That's where I come in. And in all of my years, I have been on quite few pirate ships, and I can confidently say that I have never experienced one quite like this.
My day starts off by being abruptly woken by my green-headed captain scampering down the corridors and onto the ship's deck. While I roll over with a tired groan, I hear the sounds of an already traumatised news-coo being almost attacked by the man, who repeatedly claws at the newspapers in the bird's red bag. It's only after one of the more sane crew mates decides to help him pay- that the bird's screeches cease. Or maybe the Captain had accidentally throttled it in over-excitement? Who knows...
After retrieving the crumpled newspaper one way or another, I can hear my captain flipping feverishly through the printed pages. It's not hard to imagine his wide eyes manically skimming through the articles, searching for even a word mentioning any of the Straw Hat Pirates. At this point, the day could turn one of three ways.
Most often, there would be no signs of the holy pirates in the black and white print. At such an event, I knew exactly what to expect. We would go about as normal, attacking anyone who dared say a word against 'Luffy-senpai.' Maybe spending a few hours waiting impatiently for my captain to finish drooling over the wanted poster pinned up in each and every shop we passed. Possibly listening to one of his long-winded, in depth speeches of each of the Straw Hat's rumoured tales of life and death.
Sometimes, maybe about once a week, a sentence or two would mention one of the almighty crew members- outlining how formidable they were or could become if not stopped. Possibly the over-excitable idiot had assumed some sort of reference to the StrawHats. These kinds of days were particularly unpredictable. The whole ship ends up in a restless mess after the captain switches from fuming anger to rippling excitement. Sometimes he'd be gliding around the ship as if he were an ice skater on wooden-ice, spinning around with sparkles in his eyes and various sound effects drifting from him. Other times he'd be pacing back and forth in his quarters, muttering to himself in an obsessive manner. You would always be able to hear that one loose floorboard creaking once every three seconds for the exact same amount of time as he walked over it again and again.
The last kind is the worst, and such a day I have only had the misfortune to experience once before, a few days ago. These are the days that Monkey D Luffy's face is printed right on the front page of the newspaper. These are the days that Monkey D Luffy has done something terribly magnificent. On that morning, I was shaken out of bed by the fear that the ceiling of my room might just cave in. Captain Bartolomeo had been jumping up and down above deck and I could hear the already-rotting wood creaking as it bent to its full capacity. The rest of the crew were already scampering down the corridors desperately trying to avoid the bending wood above their heads.
I force my tired, creaking body to move out of the room and up onto the deck to hopefully knock some sense into the green-haired man. Instead, I find myself confronted with the front page of a newspaper which has been abruptly shoved into my face. The newspaper then retreated back before my captain's seething expression of frenzied hysteria. I could only comprehend a picture of the Strawhat boy grinning at the camera, this mouth stretching as wide as his face. I would have ignored this intrusion and continued with my own anger, but the Captain seemed too dazed to acknowledge anything but the writing in front of him, which I would bet my life that he has already read at least ten times. He glances over at me, as if he was remembering my existence, but he couldn't seem to form any words to greet me with. His mouth shook at a rapid, shivering pace, but only strangled-sounding breaths were produced. He gave up quickly and began glancing back and forth between the paper which lay scrunched up in his hands and me. His eyes had changed to massive golden sparkles and his mouth hung wide open with awe.
I simply stood still, uncertain as to what I should do. It seemed to make sense to treat him like some sort of wild beast - stay still until it was safe to walk backwards slowly. Unfortunately, this did give the Captain time to calm down enough and explain the whole story.
The rest of the crew seemed to be keeping as far away as physically possible. I had later gathered that they had learnt what to do after last time, when 'Zoro-senpai' had cut down a hundred enemies at Whiskey Peak. According to my more-sane crew mates, it took weeks for him to calm down enough to have a normal conversation. Apparently the Captain spent all that time ranting about how proud he was to have green hair. According to the Captain, anyone born with bright green hair -such as his and Zoro's- was destined to stand next to someone great.
Now, if this were just anyone, I would have hammered their blubbering heads into the ground before they could say 'rubber.' I'm a pirate for Christ's sake! But... he's my captain, so I bit my tongue and sat down beside his collapsed figure to listen.
I only just managed to comprehend words of English in between his rushed and ragged breaths and his habit of clutching his face and letting out a squeal. The Straw Hats had rained havoc on the desert kingdom, Alabasta. They had defeated the corrupt Shichibukai, Crocodile. Though, when I read the news headline, it clearly stated the marine-captain, Smoker's victory. Bartolomeo rapidly explained and promptly scolded me for doubting the rubber boy. The D had, without a doubt, saved the whole of Alabasta - the marines were simply covering up for a pirate saving the day.
I left him alone to let the blinding sparkles in his eyes fade on the basis that his accusations were utter nonsense. I mean, as a pirate, I am fully aware of the Navy's injustice and this didn't seem out of their league, yet the Captain had no evidence whatsoever.
Unfortunately, the time I was with the Captain seemed to be his comprehending stage, where he would try to grasp the situation and let it all sink in. Next, he began bounding around the ship's deck like an escaped rabbit, falling off for what I recall to be five times (much to the annoyance of the poor soul who had to swim through the freezing water and fish him out). I swear, if anyone had given him the slightest amount of sugar or alcohol, he might have been in such of an excited hype that he probably would've fainted.
This state still remains today, and it doesn't look like it's going to improve anytime soon. It's not like we can do anything recreational with our time either, what, with our captain out of action. Any sane conversation regarding the ships navigation or enemy pirates or even treasure have been scrunched up, stamped on and thrown out the window, only to be replaced with one of Captain Bartolomeo's fantasies.
Me? A decently-recognisable pirate with a boast-able bounty, wonders how I ever ended up in this mad-house ship. Maybe I admired the Captain's unique reputation for being a infamously annoying asshole? I never did guess there would be such a pathetic, excitable fanboy underneath his hard exterior and I'm beginning to question my ever-eroding sanity.
Well, that was the first part of a little something I've been working on for a while now. It's a bit of in introductory chapter, really, but I hope you like it nevertheless. I have a decent number of chapters ready and waiting to be put up, and shall be done in... once a week? We'll see. But in saying that, the length, quality and humour of these chapters would be greatly enhanced by any sort of ideas from any of you. This can include funny ideas for scenes, events or just stupid things that idiot might have done. Or even something about how he obtained any cannon objects or traits. Anything is welcome.
Also, thank you to my friend for proof reading, otherwise this would have been a disaster.
