Hi. So, you surely noticed I haven't uploaded new chapter in months! That's because I lost my inspiration. And I'm not really good in non-slash fics, so I stopped.
Now I am here with my little kind-of-drabble about my new obsession – Avengers. I hope you will enjoy it, because I plan on writing chaptered fic.
Steve kinda melancholically put flowers in the closest trash bin. They were the same ones that the girl…woman thrust in his hands after hitting him in head few times. And Steve didn't even know why. They were normally chatting and out of sudden she started making fuss about something that Steve didn't even know about.
When Steve got home, he took his telephone. He wasn't fully convinced about what he was going to do, but who could help him like that? So he pushed the numbers and waited if Tony would pick it up.
"Anthony Stark, speaking," sounded out of the receiver.
"Tony?"
"Need something, Cap?"
"Could you give me some advice?" Steve asked nervously.
"I can give you any kind of advice. You need to be much direct, Cap," Tony stated.
"You know, I got this problem…I don't really know how to…" And then he heard some rustles and uneasy sound. "You still listening?" he asked.
"Of course I do. What do you need?"
"I have troubles with girls."
"Well…a lot of men…but in majority of these causes, they end in jail for pedophilia." Steve sighed. This was the thing he feared.
"No, no girls. I mean women," he disputed. "I don't know how you speak to women nowadays and how…"
"How to get laid, you mean?" Tony interrupted him in hearable amusement.
"This is not what I wanted to say…"
"Tonyy…" He heard out of the receiver.
"Calm down, babe, just a moment," replied Tony unruffled. "So Captain America has troubles with getting laid? Nice. Man, girls should jump in your bed themselves! You shouldn't be trying to chat them up…" he stated. "But it seems that it's time for The Talk. And if we consider that there's no brother or father, it's my turn."
"Tony…come on…" Steve sighed. They all knew that Tony and Clint was a Thing but they could have waited until they were done, couldn't they?
"Tony, are you really concentrating?"
"Indeed. I'm paying you 100% of my mentally capacity…let's say 25%, but that's more than enough," he corrected himself after another whimper of Clint. Steve sighed again.
"Okay, what's your advice?"
"It's simple. You need to find the right…" A sharp breath which absolutely didn't come out of Tony. "…spot," he breathed contently after a moment. Steve – engrossed – pulled the receiver from his ear.
"But I wasn't talking about sex. Just about dating…" he objected.
"Not everything is about sex, you know…okay, sex IS important, but this doesn't involve just sex. It involves everything. You just have to…"
"Tonyyy…"
"You just have to find the spot in a soul. And then caress it…just find the right spot," explained.
"How should I find it?"
"You need to examine," Tony responded. "Calm down, Darter, just a second." And this didn't belong to Steve, again. "It's just like this…some like flowers, puppies and hearts, some don't. You gotta learn and ten you'll be able to tell, what…" Tony let out a rapt sound.
"Well, if you really think so…" Then he heard Clint holding breath, gasping and…Even through the receiver Steve heard a lucid click.
"Okay, Darter, here's your quiver, all okay…" Steve heard satisfied smile in his voice. So Tony was repairing Hawkeye's quiver all along? Oh, and he thought…
"You're the best, you billionaire playboy…" Hawkeye said and then Steve heard THAT sounds.
"Sorry, Cap, I must hang up, the Darter here needs to talk more about his arrows…"
"But…" But Tony hung up by the time, so he could devote his time to Clint…
