Chapter 1 - The Books

Bella POV

I had no idea what I was doing. I had never acted on an impulse before, but here I was, standing in front of the library, when I had told myself that I shouldn't go again today. Because, well frankly, I'd been here twice this morning and thrice this afternoon. I just couldn't get rid of this overwhelming feeling that I was missing something vital to my existence, and that if I didn't find it soon, I wouldn't be able to live much longer. So I wandered aimlessly down the aisles of the Pheonix public library for the millionth time this week, searching for something. Whatever it was, I knew that I'd recognize it the moment I saw it. I hadn't seen it yet, which meant that I was always thinking about going back to the library and searching for it, every waking and sleeping moment of the day and night.

It had all started one night with a sudden dream. Dreams were usually very fake to me. I could tell that I was dreaming, so there was no real fear in nightmares, and no real pleasure from good dreams. But this dream, it had been so real, and so vague at the same time. There were these green eyes. And they were such vivid, green eyes. I was falling into them in my dream, but then I wasn't falling, I was just getting lost in them, drowning in them. Every night henceforth, I had had the same exact dream. There were no explanations from my crazy subconscious mind. I only knew that I had to find these green eyes, and all my life would fall into place.

But that didn't explain my strange impulse to be searching everyday in this library. And I knew it was completely and utterly irrational, but somehow… somehow I knew that there was something in the library that would lead me to these green, gorgeous eyes, and that I would recognize whatever something it was when I saw it.

I stopped walking. I had reached the back of the library where no one ever went. It was the part of the place where they placed all the old books that were left there to rot. Personally I loved this place because it was where they dumped all the classics like Shakespeare and Bronte while the idiotic teens of the modern day deluded themselves with the fantasies of the "young adult" section, and the children lost their minds in the complex grammar of "See Spot run!"

I was tired from all the trips to the library, and so I made to sit down. Of course, I fell. But what I hadn't counted on was breaking my fall with the bottom shelf books of the bookcase in front of me. And I certainly hadn't expected to find what I was looking for like this. But there it was, and like I'd imagined, I knew that it was what I was looking for the second I saw it. There, behind the thick dusty volumes of cobweb covered novels, were four black books. And they weren't dirty like the books that had hidden them. They looked new and sacred, and I reached out for the one on the farthest left, and opened it.

***

It was getting late. But there was so much more to read, and the books only seemed to get thicker. But I was sure that trying to check them out was not a good idea. So I carefully hid the first book back where I'd found it, and went home. I was surprised to say the least. I didn't even apologize to Renee for leaving her without a dinner, I just went straight to my room and sat in my bed, fully clothed, in awe. The books were about… me. It described my personality perfectly, what I looked like, what I liked, what I didn't like, how I would probably react to certain situations. But what about the other parts? What about …. the vampires? Could this story really be my future? I was only 15 now, when I was 17, would Renee find someone named Phil? And would they get married? If they did, and if Phil really was a ball player… I would have moved in with Charlie. I knew it in my heart that it's what I would have done.

But how could someone predict something like that, write books on it, and then send a… feeling to me, that I needed to find them? What was the message? Was there something I was supposed to change? I lay there all night, just speculating. Tomorrow, was Sunday, maybe if I read more, I'd get some answers out of it.

***

"And then we continued blissfully into this small but perfect piece of our forever…" And that was it. I put the fourth book down, Breaking Dawn. It was Monday afternoon, and I'd rushed home from school just to finish the last book. And now I was done. Now what? What did I want to do? I still had no idea whether this was somehow still a fairytale about me, or if it was possible. Possible that vampires and werewolves really did exist and that I was about to enter that world in just a few short years. I had to find out if all this was true or not. Going looking for the Cullens was out of the question. If I happened to cross Edward's path away from the others, or outside of a public place…well let's just say that mind over matter wasn't an instant thing. Then there was the possibility of Jacob. But Jacob wasn't a werewolf yet. Hell, Sam wasn't a werewolf yet, because the Cullens hadn't arrived and "set things in motion" yet. So there were two places where I was sure I'd find supernatural beings: one was the Volturi, and the other… was the Denali Clan.

That meant Tanya. Tanya and her strawberry blonde curls, perfection, and lust for my husband. Or rather, my husband to be. It wasn't appealing, but I'd rather take her, than Aro any day. Just reading about him, made me shiver in fear. And then there was Kate. There were so many possibilites with Kate. Maybe, I could project. I was human. But…if I could project…well at least the practice would take my mind off of things. Irina…would have no reason to hate me, seeing as I had no half-breed daughter as of yet, and her to-be mate hadn't been killed on my account. And maybe, just maybe I could save her life in the long run. No, this was all assuming that they actually existed. I had to make sure of that first.

A round trip from Phoenix to Juneau and back was around $1,200. And I had that much saved, more than that in fact. But the problem was, what would I tell Renee? I couldn't simply just take my life savings, and take off for Alaska tomorrow. As it happens, there was a biology Olympiad coming up soon. And the first place winner was to go on and compete. I hadn't told my mother where they winners went, I hadn't even planned on entering. And the beauty of it was… that I wasn't even going to enter. My mother would never pry too hard. I would be free to go to Denali. And I would be able to drag it out for at least a week. All I had to do was not blush… right, easy.

***

So in the end, I did blush. But Renee passed it off and being flushed or embarrassed for even entering in the contest, and she wished me luck. I told her I won a week later, but that I had to pay my way there. She didn't look surprised that I'd gotten to be a genius at biology so fast. She didn't even argue with me about saving up for college and not using my money. I blushed a lot, but she wrote it off as excitement. And it all went over fairly well, much better than I'd ever imagined possible. And I was on my way to Alaska before I could say "vampire."

***

I had no idea where the Denali clan lived. They could live anywhere in this godforsaken city! How was I going to find them? Go door to door and ask "hey? Are you a vampire?" Evidently, if I continued to have as little luck as I'd been having, I'd have to resort to that. I trudged down to the diner attached with the small motel I was staying in. It had been 3 days since I'd arrived in Denali, and I was beginning to lose hope. The nice waitress had taken a liking to me for some reason, and brought me extra pancakes everyday at breakfast.

"Dear?" a voice called me out of my reverie.

"Yes?" I looked up to see the face of the waitress looking down at me.

"Maybe it's not my place, but I was wondering if you … were looking for someone? Maybe I could help? I think I know just about everyone around here, and their fathers and grandfathers as well."she said with a chuckle.

Of course, of course. Of course people would know each other in a small town like this.

"Tanya?" I said tentatively. And she nodded. So Tanya existed, she was real. Now I'd just have to find out, if she really was a vampire like those books said she was. How the hell did I get here?