Disclaimer: The Last Unicorn belongs to the great Peter Beagle, who i could never hope to compare with. Also, the first three paragraphs are straight out of chapter 13, so i don't own those either.


"I knew the first time i saw her that she was something more than i could see. Unicorn, mermaid, sorceress, Gorgon – no name you could give her would surprise me, or frighten me. I love whom i love."

"That's a very nice sentiment," Schmendrick said. "But when i change her back into her true self, so that she may do battle with the Red Bull and free her people–"

"I love whom i love," Prince Lir repeated firmly. "You have no power over anything that matters."

"All right, all right." Schmendrick fell silent as they continued to walk through the dark passageway. After a few minutes had passed, he inquired, "No name i could give her?"

"None," the prince replied confidently.

"What about stallion?"

Prince Lir stopped in his tracks and turned to face the magician. Even in the gloom, Schmendrick could tell he was frowning. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, the Lady Amalthea… er… well, let's just say she wasn't always a lady."

Lir's gleaming eyes grew wide with something resembling horror. He glanced ahead to where Amalthea continued to walk, her pale hair shining in the dark. "You mean she… she… you mean i…"

"I'm afraid so," Schmendrick said solemnly.

Prince Lir gaped at him, then turned his gaze back to Amalthea. "But she's so beautiful," he said plaintively.

"I'm sorry," Schmendrick said gravely.

The prince looked back at him. He was silent for a few moments, then said, "This is your fault."

Schmendrick took a step back.

"You made her look like that. You did this."

"I had no control over the form she took," Schmendrick said quickly. "I was just a vessel for the magic."

"You did this. You… You…" The prince was speechless. He took a few deep breaths. "I can't stay with you people anymore. I'll go crazy." He began to back up. "I'll find my own way out."

"Don't be like that," Schmendrick said. "There's only one way out."

"Foul deceiver! I'll listen to nothing more you have to say!" Prince Lir exclaimed. He ran off into the darkness, his hands over his ears. Schmendrick watched him go.

Molly Grue came up beside him. "You lied to that poor boy," she said.

"No, i didn't," Schmendrick said complacently. "I never actually said the Lady Amalthea was ever male."

"You deliberately misled him. It's the same thing, really."

"Semantics." Schmendrick shrugged. "At least he's out of our hair now."

Molly had to admit he had a point.


A/N: Sorry! I know Schmendrick is to familiar with the rules of being in a work of fiction to drive off Prince Lir, but the plotbunny made me do it.