This is my spoofs fic, I'm going to be writing blooper type things for different parts of different games of C&C, hehehehehehehe

Copyright: This fic is Copyrighted 2002 by BM&S Publishing Company

C&C Cut Scenes & Bad Takes

)Red Alert Intro, Take 1(

Assistant shuffling a camera around

Einstein: Stop paying wit dat ting

Assistant: I've just got to adjust this...

Einstein: Give me da coordination sequences. NOW!

Assistant: They're already done

Einstein sits in chair

Einstein: Hello, hello, is dis ting on?

Assistant: Sir, the camera isn't on

Einstein: Of course it's on, I can see da little red light blinking

Camera Man: Glares madly at them

)Red Alert Intro, Take 8(

Einstein: I vonder vhat the plumbing's like

Assistant: do this, do that, all I ever hear, you jackass

Einstein: VAT?

Director: CUT!

)Red Alert Intro, take 26(

(Einstein is beamed to the past)

Hitler: Whistling "The Hills are alive, with the sound of music"

Einstein: You're supposed to be whistling de national anthem you moron.
oh, are ve on? ok... Heir Hitler!

Hitler: Eye Roll Ja, vas is hin deir loss?Light shines in his eyes AHHHHH!
I"M BLIND!

)Soviet Intro, Take 1(

Stalin: How long did it take for de gas to vork, Gradenco?

Gradenco: My balls itch... OH, uhhhh, I forgot my lines

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)Soviet Intro, Take 6(

Stalin: Good, begin full production of the gas Farts

Nadia: Cough No need, we just got some

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)Soviet Intro, Take 15(

Nadia: How many dead?

Grandenco: Shut you face!

Nadia: Comrade Stalin, I NEED TO PEE!

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)Soviet Intro, Take 28(

Stalin: Come my dear, I have a job that requires you're "special" skills

Nadia: LIAR! The only things you want are my perky breasts and my nice ass!

Camera man: All out laughter

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)Take 15...continued(

Grandenco: YOU CAN HOLD IT IN YOU BITCH, VE'RE VIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF A SHOOT HERE!

Stalin: Nadia, calm down

Nadia: OH da? Vell if you two would get us a better contract next time and stop looking into my shower every morning, MAYBE VE COULD GET SOMETHING DONE!

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)Ending Cinimatic to Soviet Mission 1, Take 1(

Plane flies in

Girl 1: AHHHHHH! IT'S STALINS BOOGERS!

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)Ending Cinimatic to Soviet Mission 1, Take 2(

Plane flies in

Girls: Screaming

Teddy bear falls to the ground

Teddy: NO DONT LEAVE ME!

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)End of Soviet Mission 1, Take 15(

Yak Pilot: OH Lord, vat have I done? VAT HAVE I DONE?

Jumps out of plane

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)Soviet Intro, Take 15 continued(

Grandenco: VELL! If you didn't act like a slut all da time and sleeping vith de editors and publishers! MABYE YOU COULD GET A BREAST REDUCITON!
DAT MIGHT HELP!

Stalin: Da Nadia, dey are to big

Nadia: Yep they are big, but quit it vith de excuses, WE ALL KNOW YOU JUST VANT ME TO HAVE AN ABORTION!

Nadia jumps on the table and starts striping

Stalin: O.O

Grandenco: O.O

camera man?.?

Director: Laughing

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Well? What do you think? I'm going to add-on more chapters' constantly so, watch for them