Jealous
That morning at the crack of dawn when she woke up, Louise realized she had a slight sore throat. The winter was especially bitter this year, and it was no wonder that Jed and Mattie had already nursed colds a couple of weeks ago. That was why she was being extra careful with Ginnie. Her baby girl was so young and vulnerable that Lou would hate herself if her daughter would fall sick for her carelessness.
In the kitchen she had a spoonful of the syrup she kept for when Kid or the children felt under the weather. It was her secret miracle potion. Actually, it was not so secret since it was a concoction Buck prepared for the whole family. There was no doubt the bitter mixture was effective. When she noticed the least sign ailment like a mere sneeze, she fed her family the syrup despite the children's and even Kid's protests, and most of the time that saved her from further strain or bothering the doctor. In truth, she hardly ever had to use it for herself since it had been years since she had last been sick.
The routine of the day unfolded: waking up the children, making breakfast, and when Janey and Matt left for school, making beds, the laundry, cleaning, and cooking. As hour after hour went by, Lou started feeling worse, and she almost had to drag herself to finish the day. When Kid came to dinner that night, he instantly noticed there was something wrong with her. Lou's slouched body sat at her usual seat, her elbows resting on the dinner table and her head on her hands. As she saw her husband appear, she stood up and was about to head for the kitchen when Kid stopped her. "Lou? You all right?"
"I'm…feeling a bit under the weather."
Kid's hand instantly reached to feel her forehead. "You're feverish, honey," he said. "Why don't you get into bed? You look as if you urgently need to rest for the remainder of the day."
"But dinner and…"
"Lou, go to bed. Me and the children will take care of everything," Kid cut her off. "You must've caught a chill, and some bed rest is all you need. Tomorrow you'll be as right as rain."
Lou nodded slowly and did not even try to protest, because in truth she could hardly stand on her two feet. The day had been too long and hard, and she was ready to have an early night, earlier than usual. "Night," she whispered, giving her husband a peck on the lips.
"I'll check on you later, and if you feel like it, I'll bring you something to eat."
Louise nodded again, and shuffled her feet towards the staircase. Right at that moment the sound of pattering feet sounded outside. The door opened and a draught of cold air wafted inside as well as the swirl of energy that were the McCloud brothers. Jed ran straight to the table that was already set for dinner, but Matt stopped when he noticed his mother starting up the staircase.
"Ma!" he called. "Where are you going? What about dinner?"
"Mattie, your ma ain't feeling too well, and needs to rest."
"It's nothing, honey. I'll be fine tomorrow," Lou said in a weak voice, blowing him a kiss, and then resumed going up the stairs. "Just be good to your pa."
That night Janey helped her father with dinner and her smaller siblings. While the girl was doing the plates, Kid popped into his bedroom once. Lou was sleeping, but as she was still running a temperature, he had to wake her up to feed her the medicine she always used when somebody in the family fell sick. Louise declined to have anything to eat, and closed her eyes again even before Kid was gone.
Later when Janey and the boys were already in bed, Kid climbed the stairs to his bedroom, carrying Ginnie in his arms. The toddler had been acting up, probably because she missed her mother, so it hadn't been easy for Kid to calm her down and put her to sleep. In the bedroom Kid left his youngest daughter in her cot, and after quickly stripping down to his long johns, he got into bed. Lou's deep intakes of air obviously told him that she was profoundly sleeping. Kid pressed his lips against her forehead, and made a face when he realized the fever was not gone, and he muttered to himself that he would call the doctor tomorrow if Lou was still running a temperature.
The following morning as Kid slowly woke up, he yawned and still with half-open eyes, he called his wife's name several times. "How are you feeling, Lou?" he muttered. The reply to his question came out in the form of a grunt, and Kid stretched his arm to touch his wife's forehead. She was sweating and as soon as he brushed his hand over her skin, he noticed she was burning.
"Lou!" he called eagerly, jumping from the bed as if the sheets were on fire. Opening the drapes with a strong pull, he ran to his wife's side. She was shivering under the bedding, her forehead glistening with sweat, and on closer inspection he noticed a rash that spread all over her throat. "Oh God," Kid breathed, and his voice managed to penetrate into her tired mind this time, and she opened her eyes a crack.
"Kid," she managed to utter very weakly. "I feel rotten."
"I know, honey," he whispered, caressing her feverish face. "I'll call the doctor now. Try to rest. You're gonna get well soon."
Lou closed her eyes, and faster than ever before, Kid managed to jump into his pants and slid into his shirt. Then he picked up Ginnie from her cot, careful not to wake her, and dashed out of the bedroom. At the end of the corridor he knocked on Janey's door before opening and poking his head inside. His daughter was rubbing her eyes as she sat up in bed. "Pa?" she called with an unhappy expression.
"Janey, your ma's very sick, and …"
His words alarmed the girl and the remainder of her sleep vanished instantly. "What's wrong with Ma?"
"I don't know," Kid admitted. "I'll bring the doctor now. I'll come back as soon as possible. Please honey, look after Ginnie, and if your brothers wake up, don't let them go into our bedroom, all right?"
Kid returned from town with the doctor in tow about half an hour ago. On the way to the ranch Dr. Maxwell had spoken his suspicions that Louise might be suffering from scarlet fever after the description of symptoms Kid had provided him with. It was not the only case in town, and the physician told Kid that the Morgan children were all sick, the most serious cases found in the youngest ones. Kid hoped he was wrong, but he knew the odds were against him. Lou and Mrs. Morgan weren't actually friends, but both women belonged to the school committee, and from time to time they got together to discuss school matters. Kid knew that Lou had been at the Morgans' farm last week, but he hoped that was just a coincidence. Scarlet fever could often be fatal, but Kid told himself that he wouldn't go down that road.
Dr. Maxwell followed Kid to the bedroom, and as the physician examined Lou, the man realized that she was in the same condition and the rash he had only noticed around her neck also spread down her arms and also her legs. To Kid's chagrin, the doctor confirmed his initial diagnosis, and instructed him what he should do. The main thing would be to isolate Lou from everybody, especially the children, and then they needed to bring the fever down. Dr. Maxwell prescribed a medical preparation as well as a strict diet, and he would check on Lou later in the day.
The physician insisted on carrying an examination on Kid and the children in case the disease had been passed onto anybody in the family. Dr. Maxwell did not find anything wrong with Kid, which was expected since the man had already suffered from a slight case of the illness when he was a child. As the doctor carried on examining the children, Kid silently prayed that they were spared. He was already frantic with worry, fearing what might happen to his wife. His three oldest children looked scared and kept asking how Ma was. Kid did not know what to tell them, but at least, the doctor concluded that the children did not show any symptoms of the fever, at least, not yet.
The children could not stay in the house. The girls went to stay with Rachel and her husband, and even though Buck had offered his home for the boys, Kid had objected as Dr. Maxwell had reminded him that it was known that since the children had been in contact with Lou, they might transmit the disease even if they did not have it themselves. So fearing for little Ike, Kid had asked Teaspoon to take in his two sons while Lou was sick.
In the silent house Kid remained in the bedroom, watching over Lou like a hawk, hoping she would come out of this new ordeal safe and sound. She looked so sick and frail as she fought the devastating fever she was a victim of. Her sleep was restless, and she kept moaning. At some point she had woken up and as Kid had come closer, all Lou had whispered was 'the children', and Kid had assured her they were fine, and she shouldn't worry. Lou closed her eyes, and even though he did not know whether she heard his words, Kid kept saying she was going to get better soon and silently prayed that he was telling the truth. The idea that this unexpected sickness might snatch Lou out of his life was unthinkable, and Kid did not even want to contemplate the possibility. His wife couldn't die; he needed her just like his lungs needed air to survive, or like the earth needed rainwater to bloom in spring. His Lou, his soul mate could not go; they were supposed to grow old together, support each other when the children started leaving, and welcome the grandchildren when they started coming. This was the plan, and he couldn't do this alone. Lou was his life, and he couldn't accept that this damn fever could kill her. He had to be positive. She was going to be fine; she had to be.
In the scanty rooms he inhabited, in his old range Teaspoon was busy cooking some good steaks he had got from Tompkins. The oven was also working full-steam as it baked some biscuits he had managed to make the dough for. Teaspoon hardly used the range in his lodgings since it was a rare occasion for him to eat his meals there. Most often than not, Lou or Rachel brought him some of their cooked food when he was on duty, and when he was not working, he usually shared the dinner table with his family, especially at Kid and Lou's.
As Teaspoon hovered over the range, he could not stop thinking about Louise. After talking to Kid, the marshal feared that Lou was in a very delicate condition, and worry flooded all his self. Lou was a strong woman, and he wanted to believe that she was going to be fine. It wouldn't be fair for a young woman like Louise to pass away while an old fox like himself remained on this earth. That couldn't be fair, and he needed to keep the faith. Despair would not help anybody, especially himself.
Tossing a look over his shoulder, Teaspoon had a look at the two boys who were sitting at his table and waiting for dinner. The children were logically more subdued than usual, and neither had spoken a word for hours. That was not strange in Jed, who was a very shy and quiet boy, but it was so odd for mischief-maker Mattie to be so silent and passive. Teaspoon was reluctant to admit it, but the truth was that he was nervous about having the two children under his care. It was the first time he had to look after such young children alone, and the circumstances under which he had to undertake the task didn't make it easier. Naturally, Teaspoon loved these two boys as if they were his grandchildren. Actually, they already called him grandpa, and because of the deep love he professed them, Teaspoon had not doubted for one moment to agree to take them in when Kid had asked him. Yet, he knew his home was not the perfect environment for two children. He only had one bed which he would leave for the two boys, so that meant he would have to sleep on one of his chairs. That did not worry him either because he was used to dozing anywhere. In fact, he was often laughed at in the family, a common joke being that he could fall asleep on his two feet. Apart from the scanty space in his lodgings, he was not sure he knew how to look after young children. He couldn't cook, and he was clueless about what the boys might expect from him. In any case, the present situation was exceptional, and he was happy to give Kid a hand with the children.
"Dinner's ready, boys," Teaspoon announced as he transferred the meat onto the plates and added the biscuits, which had come out better than he had anticipated. "My cooking ain't nearly as good as your Ma's, but I don't think it's totally inedible."
Teaspoon placed the plates before the boys, and sat down between them. As it was his custom, he tucked a napkin into the collar of his shirt and grabbed the knife and fork, ready to attack the juicy steak. Yet, as he looked at Jed, he noticed the boy staring at his food but made no attempt to start. "What's wrong, Jed? Don't you like the meat?" The boy nodded, and the marshal added, "Then what is it?"
"Pa and Ma usually cut the meat into little pieces for me. I'm not allowed to use a knife," Jed explained.
"Oh sure… sure," Teaspoon exclaimed, feeling clumsy and ignorant. "That ain't a problem." Moving Jed's plate, he carefully diced the steak into tiny bits, and when he finished, he pushed the plate back before the boy. "All done now." Turning his eyes to the other side where Matt sat, he also realized that the nine-year-old wasn't eating either. "Shall I cut the meat for ya too, Mattie?" The boy shook his head, and the marshal insisted, "Then why ain't you eatin'?"
Matt opened his mouth to speak, but instead of his voice, a sob escaped his lips as tears cascaded down his face. Right away the marshal left his seat and despite his bad knee, he managed to squat before the boy. "Mattie…"
"I don't want Ma to die!" the boy wailed loudly, cutting Teaspoon off, and on hearing him, little Jed started whimpering too. "I don't want her to die!"
Teaspoon sighed, and rested his hand on the boy's tense shoulder. "Matt, gettin' yourself so worked up ain't good. You're upsettin' your brother, and who said anythin' about your ma dyin'?"
"I heard Pa telling Aunt Rachel that Ma had scarlet fever," the boy continued in a calmer tone, but the tears still rolled down his cheeks. "Last year that girl from school… Mary Nichols died of the fever, and … and I'm scared."
Teaspoon nodded. "It's logical to be scared, Matt. But do you honestly believe a wee little fever can defeat your mother? Your Ma ain't any woman… she's strong and amazingly brave. Don't you know all those stories your parents always tell ya about the time they rode for the Express? Those ain't just silly stories, but as true as the Holy Bible. Your Ma lived very dangerous times, and I was there to see her come up victorious, and I'm certain this time won't be any different."
The boy was hiccupping and trembling. "Do… do you believe that?"
"Sure I do. Before you think, your Ma will be givin' you a big hug and lots of kisses."
"I miss her," Jed said in a very tiny voice.
"I know you do, son."
"And Pa… even Ginnie," Jed continued.
Teaspoon had to smile at the sweet innocence of the boy, but silently he was going through a real turmoil inside. He hoped he was telling the truth because if something happened to Lou, the blow these two boys would receive would be twice as powerful when their hopes would crash down. "You'll soon be all together again," Teaspoon assured them. "And now let's fill our bellies with this food. You boys don't want your mother to give this old fox a lecture and a flick on my ears for not feedin' you properly, do ya?"
The two boys shook their heads simultaneously and Teaspoon clumsily struggled back to his feet. As he sank down on his chair once again, his hand rubbed his sore knee that complained from supporting his weight all this time. The marshal smiled as his two little guests started eating, and he dug in as well. As he was munching his second mouthful of meat, a little voice interrupted him. "Grandpa Teaspoon!" Teaspoon turned to Jed, who was looking at him with big eyes, and as the boy noticed his eyes on him, he said, "You also love my Ma, don't you?"
Teaspoon gave a sad smile as he muttered, "More than anything."
At the end of the second night Lou's fever broke, and to Kid's delight the doctor finally announced the news that he had been longing for. Lou had now better possibilities to recover and pull through. The last couple of days had been a nightmare, and now Kid could see a little light at the end of the dark tunnel he had been so lost in. Worry about Lou had been constant and still didn't leave him as well as his concern about the children's health. He was aware that there was a real possibility that they might have contracted the same nasty illness that Lou was suffering from. The doctor came round to examine them every day, and when in his daily visit to Kid's, he assured that the children did not show any symptoms of being anything but healthy, the rancher almost cried in relief.
The same day Dr. Maxwell smiled his good news Lou even stayed awake for a while and managed to talk. Her main concern was the children, and Kid kept assuring her that they were fine, which was the truth. Little by little the shadow that had threatened Lou's life so scaringly started to vanish, and she started feeling better. Her healing was slow which was normal in those cases, and her isolation and bed confinement lasted for a few weeks. Following the doctor's instructions, Kid had burned most of Lou's clothes and personal objects as well as his to avoid further contamination.
It was in the middle of the third week that the doctor gave the thumbs up to have the children back home. Relief flooded through Kid, finally believing that his wife was actually on the mend and their life would now go back to normal. Kid had visited the children every day since the doctor had assured him there was no danger they might get infected. Janey and the boys kept asking when they could return home, and Lou was also restless about the children. So the doctor's go-ahead was like rain after a drought, and even though Lou still remained in bed since she was weak and needed to restore her strength, the idea of having her family all together again made her shine and seemed to be more effective than the medicines she had been taking.
Teaspoon drove the buckboard to the ranch while Matt and Jed sat in the wagon seat next to him. Since the moment he had told them they could go back home today, they had been nervous and talking incessantly, even shy Jed. The marshal had stopped briefly to pick up a letter, and then the three had set off for the ranch. In these weeks the children had been as good as gold and even Matt, who had a reputation for being a mischief-maker, had been on his best behavior. The boy had been so worried about Lou that he had been unusually quiet. Thankfully, thought Teaspoon, Lou was on her way to recovery, and everything would be fine. The marshal, though, would miss the two boys. Although at the beginning he had been insecure around his little guests and there had been a few awkward situations in which the children actually had to tell him what to do, Teaspoon knew he was going to miss them.
On the way to the ranch Teaspoon kept telling the two brothers they should behave at home because Ma wasn't completely well and needed her rest. Yet, when he stopped the wagon, he foresaw Matt's intentions to bolt away, and grabbed him by his braces. "Mattie, didn't you hear a word I said? You can't just barge into the house like a train engine at full steam."
"I can't wait to see Ma," the boy remonstrated.
"I know, son, and you'll lay eyes on her in a minute. Patience is a virtue, Matt, and it never hurt no man to cultivate their own patience. That'll make your Ma and Pa very proud."
Matt frowned and Jed smiled from ear to ear. The three of them walked to the house, and when Teaspoon knocked and nobody answered, he dared to open the door. "Hello?" he called. "Anybody home?"
"Up here, Teaspoon," Kid's voice resounded from up the stairs, and his head showed up at the balustrade upstairs. "Bring the children up to our bedroom."
Despite the marshal's previous words and before either of the adults could thwart his intentions, Matt shot up the stairs at full speed as soon as he saw his father, and naturally, Jed copied him and rushed after him. The boys gave Kid a quick hug and continued down the corridor. "Don't run!" Kid called after them, but the two boys turned a deaf ear to him.
Matt reached the bedroom first and pushed the door open. "Ma!" he called eagerly as he dashed into the bedroom. Before Lou could react, Matt had lurched towards the bed, jumped onto it and hugged her strongly. Soon Jed had also hooked his little arms around the space in Lou's body left by his brother. Propped up against the headboard, Lou smiled and wrapped her arms around her two sons.
"Oh my boys! My lovely boys!" Lou exclaimed in a weak voice.
Matt forced his face from her chest and looked up. "Are you now well, Ma?"
"Yes, much better, especially now that you're with me," Lou whispered.
The bedroom was densely populated today. Rachel had brought the girls, and sat in a chair while Janey stood with Ginnie in her arms. Minutes before Lou had welcomed her two girls with a shower of hugs and kisses, especially her baby daughter who she thought was too young to be without her mother. Rachel had told her that even though Ginnie was unable to grasp what was happening around her or why she was in somebody else's home, she kept sending strange looks at everything around her and asking 'Ma?' constantly.
"Boys, don't strain your mother too much," Kid said as he stepped into the bedroom, followed by Teaspoon.
"It's all right, Kid," Lou contradicted her husband. "I've missed them so much that I can't get enough hugs from my beautiful boys."
"How are you, sweetheart?" Teaspoon asked, smiling in her direction.
"Much better, thankfully."
"You gave us quite a scare," the marshal continued.
Louise nodded while she gave Jed a hand to jump off the bed when he got bored. Yet, Matt remained by her side, sitting close to her and not making the least attempt to unhook his arms around her middle. "I know, but I feel much better."
"And if Dr. Maxwell agrees, tomorrow we'll have you downstairs with us," Kid added.
"But don't think of moving a finger, Louise McCloud. We've known you too long, and we have a pretty good idea what your little head is plotting," Rachel warned her.
Lou gave her a weak smile. "Don't worry. I know I have to be patient and get back to full health… for my family."
"I always knew you were a very clever girl," Teaspoon quipped, and everybody else in the room agreed with smiles. The conversation flowed as, despite feeling tired, Lou did not want anybody to go and kept asking questions about what had been going on while she had been sick. Teaspoon gave her a full account of the boys' behavior, and Janey told her mother about every little new thing her young sister had managed to do in these weeks. Ginnie was learning to take her first steps, and laughing, Janey explained that lately her adorable sister had started to walk unassisted and wander off around the room when she knew nobody was looking. That had made her take a few stumbles, and her tender knees had already suffered the impact of her thirst for independence.
"Your little'un seems to take up after her ma," Teaspoon commented, chuckling at the same time. "I won't be surprised if in a few years she starts wearin' pants and sneakin' into the stables to ride one of your horses."
"Oh the joy!" Lou remarked bitterly.
"Honey, you know what they say: what goes around comes around," Kid added in a teasing tone, but sobered as he said, "You girls are gonna be my death one day."
"I already warned you, Kid," Teaspoon chaffed, slapping him on the back. "Women!" As the word left his mouth, he suddenly remembered something. "By the way, today I got a letter. You can't imagine who's goin' to pay us a little visit quite soon."
Lou's face lit up, imagining that the marshal meant either Jimmy or Cody. It had been months since either of them had been seen in Rock Creek. The last time they had all been together had been for Rachel's wedding, and since then they had only heard from Cody, who wrote very long letters without fail, but Jimmy remained in his part of the world as silent as a church mouse, which wasn't so strange since that was his way.
"Who?" Rachel asked, her thoughts going in the same direction as Lou's.
Teaspoon smiled from ear to ear as he said, "Amanda."
"Oh," Lou could not help to utter in disappointment, but she managed to compose herself, and said, "That's… great."
Kid noticed the low tone in his wife's tone, and her words had such unenthusiastic pitch that clearly contrasted their meaning. Kid was aware what Teaspoon's announcement had led everybody to think, so it was logical that disappointment had hit Lou strongly. Besides, his wife had never seen eye to eye with Amanda. They had a civil relationship on the few occasions they had seen each other, but it was Lou who had kept a cold distance. Kid knew that the reason came from far back, and despite the long years that had passed, Lou still remembered the incident with the Pike's band, and how Amanda had betrayed and given her away so shamelessly. Kid agreed with her that Amanda could not have known how far Pike could have gone, and Lou might have ended up dead, and actually, she almost did. Amanda's actions were reproachable to say the least, but Kid also thought that they should get past that and forget. Lou always said that she had forgotten, but the truth is that she still kept her distance.
"And when is she coming?" Rachel asked.
"Next week she'll be here," Teaspoon replied, beaming happily. "Naturally, not only her, but also Adrian. She can't leave the boy behind," the marshal added, chuckling.
"How old is he now, Teaspoon?" Kid asked.
"Just like your Jed, I reckon. He's already a big boy," the marshal replied, and on hearing him, five-year-old Jed beamed proudly as he hugged his father's legs shyly.
"We'll be glad to have her here," Rachel commented. "We haven't seen her in ages, and you Teaspoon, it's been almost a year since you last visited her, hasn't it? I imagine you're looking forward to seeing her again."
The marshal smiled as he confirmed the woman's words. "I can't wait."
