Disclaimer
: The characters and show's aren't mine, they belong to their respected parties.Note: This takes place after the season finale (yeah, after they killed off our favorite slayer.)
Strength and Honor
By: Marcus
Prologue
…Death is your gift…
I stared out to the horizon, watching just as the sun began to appear like a phantom, I remembered words said, like a puzzle coming together in my head. Dawn stood before me, tears welling up in her eyes, at that very moment, I understood, it was like a dead calm rushing over me, for once in so long, I felt peace within myself.
"Buffy…no." Dawn said as she shook her head at me, her eyes wide, knowing what I was thinking in my mind, what I've realized.
"Dawny, I have to." I said to my sister, she still shook her head, her eyes afraid now, terrified as she knew what I was now going to do.
"No!" Dawn said again, more sternly than before, begging me.
"Please, there's not a lot of time left, listen." I told her, holding her shoulders gently. "Dawn, listen to me…listen. I love you…I will always love you. This is the work that I have to do." I told her, tears now flowed from her eyes, creeping down her cheeks as she shook her head, she shook with sadness.
"Tell Giles that…tell Giles that I figured it out…and…I'm ok. Give my love to my friends? You'll have to take care of them now; you have to take care of each other. You have to be strong." I told her, speaking softly to her, I didn't want her last memory of me to be tactful, or of the slayer, I wanted it to be her last memory of me…her sister.
"Dawn, the hardest thing in this world…is to live in it. Be brave…live…for me." I said to her, the last thing I had to say, what my heart was telling me, telling her. I gently touch her face, feeling more than blessed still to have her in my life, I move into her, kissing the soft skin of her cheek as her tears flowed so much now.
I moved away from her, letting the gap between us grow. I gave one last look at her, the only image I wanted to bring with me into the next life was of her, maybe I'll find her again, maybe I'll find them all again. I spun around, bolting or the edge of the platform, Dawn looking on in silence as she cried freely now.
Taking one last breath, I leapt into the brilliant white light that cracked with energy and lightening, my arms outstretched, my legs together, straight, if I were an angel, I felt as if I'd soar the heavens now towards eternity. But instead I fall into the light, into the portal and I feel the energies pulling at me, tearing at me inside. But I don't scream, I lived in this world, and I have to be brave…for Dawn.
Everything goes black after. I feel myself drop into a void, feeling the pull of earth…and then nothing…
…Death is you gift…to life.
Part 1
- Buffy Ann Summers awoke in pain, her lungs screamed for air as she shot up where she lay, her back arched as she tried to say anything, but she couldn't. she lay back down on her back, breathing heavily she opened her eyes. She squinted as the light stung her eyes, she felt the cold, hard surface she lay on. She forced her eyes open, looking beneath her as well as around her, it was the morgue.
- She sat up on the slab, tossing her legs over the edge. She sat there, trying to remember something, anything. But all she felt was this awful buzz in her head, she felt like the ground was about to rise up and hit her square in the face. Her muscles ached, trembling even.
Just as it was wearing off, it hit her even harder then before, she clutched her head quickly, the pain hit her sharply in her head. She looked around, afraid, confused and still on guard. She had no idea what was going on or even what to do. She shot to her feet as the door opened, she nearly dropped to the ground, she hadn't realized how weak she really was, her legs trembled under her weight.
She saw a man walk into the room, he saw her immediately. Their eyes locked and she knew he wasn't here to hurt her. She staggered to the slab she woke up on slowly as he walked in, she never took her eyes off of him as he walked in, closing the door and locking it behind him. "Who are you?" Buffy asked, her voice was dry and sounded like a gasp for air as she felt the buzzing pain wear off.
She leaned forward on the slab, trying to concentrate on her balance. "My name is Duncan Macleod." He said, grabbing a white sheet and rushed over to her. He placed it over her body. Buffy looked down at herself to see that she didn't even have clothes on, she would have felt shocked and humiliated, but considering how she felt, she didn't seem to really care right now.
"What's happening to me?" Buffy asked Duncan, her voice was weak and strained. She lowered her head, trying to breath more, feeling like her lungs weren't using enough air. Duncan looked around the room, out the small window in the door before rushing back to her "I'll explain everything later, but right now, we have to get out of here. You have to trust me." He said to her.
Buffy looked up at him, she was still so confused and very afraid. She nodded all the same, she didn't have any choice right now but to trust him. Duncan placed an arm around her as he led her to the door, he looked out, making sure it was clear of people in the hallway before they made their move.
Thirty minutes later she was in a black car, A 62 Thunderbird by the look of it. She lay down in the back seat where Duncan had put her, she was cold now, and still terrified. Funny, it had been awhile since she felt this afraid. It was so often that she fought demons and otherworldly beings that they had usually feared her, she was always strong and brave.
Duncan got in his seat and slammed the door to his car shut, he put the key in the ignition and looked back to Buffy "You doing ok so far?" he asked. Buffy just nodded at him, curling up in the seat, holding the sheet close to her body. She closed her eyes as she felt the car vibrate with the engine starting. A second later she felt them moving, pulling away from the alley where the car was parked.
The only thing she could remember right now was a face and a name, Dawn.
3 Days later
The funeral was sad for them, it was the one time they never wanted to be alive. Willow stood next to Tara, tears running down her face, Tara kept her arm around her the whole time, never letting her get more than arms length away. Anya too was crying into Xanders shoulder, while Xander himself kept a strong face on, but underneath he was screaming and thrashing in sorrow.
Giles stood next to Dawn in front of the head stone, Dawn was crying almost constantly since her sister had died, they couldn't have blamed her. She lost her mother, and now her only remaining family was gone, leaving her alone.
Giles simply stared at the plot, he always feared this day might come, and now it was here. The girl he saw as the closest daughter he would ever have was dead, he stood there over her grave. He placed his hand on Dawns shoulder, they were now all the family she had left.
Spike and Angel were there too, standing in the shade behind them under the weeping willow tree, Spike was holding back his tears as hard as he could. Angel was no worse off either, he stood there as though he were about to drop to his knees, exploding in anger and cries of sorrow.
Cordellia stood next to him, her arm around his shoulders, keeping him comfort, tears crept from her eyes too, but they were silent ones. Gunn and Wesley came too, dressed in black they stood strong and silent.
Unknowing to them, not far from them, Buffy watched from behind a tree, she looked at them as she was pressed against the bark of the old tree, she remembered them now, all of them. She wished more than anything to walk up to them, stop their sadness and hold them all tightly, but she couldn't. To them she was dead, she was immortal now and it would only complicate their lives further than it was already. She cried as she looked at Dawn crying, her sister standing next to Giles.
She couldn't take it anymore, she had to leave before she lost her last hold of restraint and ran out to them. She moved away from the tree and slowly began to walk away.
After a few minutes everyone broke away, saying his or her good-byes to Buffy. Angel and Spike made their way to the car under cover of the blankets that Xander and Cordellia help hold for them. Giles remained where he was, watching them go. Dawn went with Angel and Cordellia to his car.
He looked around the large cemetery, so many dead, after all she did and still it didn't seem to be enough, and now she too rested here.
He was about to walk away to the cars when he noticed someone walking away to the far side of the cemetery. She looked just like Buffy almost from the distance he saw her from, blond hair tied back into a tail, a coat that came down a little past her knees. He couldn't see this person to well from where he was, so he began to walk in her direction.
Buffy walked up to Duncan, the place where she had asked him to wait. He looked at her as she walked up to him "You were right, it was hard to see them and do nothing." She said to him, stopping just a few feet from him. She looked down to the grave she asked him to wait for her in the car.
Joyce Summers
Beloved Mother and friend.
"We lost her, then they lost me…my sister lost me. I can't imagine what's going through her mind." Buffy said to him as she stared at the headstone. Duncan came up to her a little closer, looking at her with his hands in his coat pockets "In time she'll be able to move on, she still has your friends to help her, and from what you've told me, she'll be just fine." He said to her.
Buffy looked up at him, her eyes were sad from this decision to leave them like this "I know, but I'll never leave them completely." She said. Duncan smiled lightly "I know, we never do."
Duncan began to walk to his car that was parked not far from them "Don't take to long, we have to leave soon." He said to her as he walked. Buffy nodded, watching him leave. She watched him, making a mental picture of him, his short, jet black hair, his long duster coat, those silk like shirts he seemed to like wearing so much, his height, the strong features of his face, he was quite the handsome man.
She looked back to her mothers grave and knelt down before it, touching the cold stone, tracing the letters to her mothers name. "I'm sorry I haven't come by to visit in awhile mom, slayer stuff." She said, forcing a weak smile for a second, using the same excuse she would always use when they would argue. "I want you to know that I have to leave…alone, Dawn is safe now, and I know that they all will. They're family, we all are, and…and I want you to know that…I will always be there when they need me the most. Even if I'm not supposed to, I will…somehow." She said.
Buffy stood up, kissed her hand and leaned over, pressing it to the stone "Good-bye…I love you." She whispered before she walked away to the car with Duncan waiting for her.
Giles walked up, seeing this mystery woman walking away from Joyce's grave to a black car. Damn, he was still to far from her to get a good look at her. As the car door opened, the woman turned back to face the grave, looking one last time. Giles could have swore he saw Buffy looking back, but it couldn't be. He dismissed the idea as soon as it came to him, calling it a wishful thought.
He watched the car drive off as the blonde woman got in, closing the door. He walked away, heading back to the others. I couldn't have been Buffy, she died. She died bravely, accepting her death and dying with honor.
He walked back to the cars before long, the others were there waiting for him. "Are you ok Giles?" Tara asked, walking up to him, her arms crossed looking down, unable to look him in the eye. Giles raised her head up with his finger under him chin "Yes Tara, I'm alright, I just…" he began, but as he was about to tell her that he thought he saw Buffy. He decided against it, it was best to let them deal with what they had in their hearts now "…I just needed a few minutes alone." He said.
Tara nodded "We're all ready to go back to the house for the reception, are you ready to go?" she asked him, still looking him in the eyes. Giles nodded "Yes, let's be off shall we?" he asked as he walked next to her back to the cars.
The drive to the house felt long, like it was hours instead of thirty minutes. Xander drove his car with Cordellia, Anya and Wesley with him as well. They were all quiet, Anya looked to the road ahead of them as she leaned on his shoulder while he drove. He still had trouble believing it, she was dead. He always figured that even with her estimated 'short life-span' that she would always live for so much longer. She had done so much, more than what any slayer had done…and now she was gone.
The group walked into the house, Angel moved through the door first with Spike running in behind him with a light cloud of smoke following him. The others walked into the room to see someone they hadn't seem before "Hi folks, come on in, I've got everything setup for you." He said, everyone stared at him and his 'colorful' fashion sense.
"Uh, everyone, this is Loren, a friend." Angel said, walking up to him. Willow shook her head, remembering him now, she met him when she went to Los Angeles to tell Angel and the others the news of Buffys death. "Hey Loren." Willow said, waving at him, although she spoke kindly, the expression on her face told other words though.
Everyone said their 'hello' to Loren as they entered, he had set up everything for them, food and drinks, even music for them that really helped them relax. After awhile Dawn and Loren were talking, as usual, Loren was the one that was confided in from others. He sat next to her as she talked to him, he sat with his leg crossed over the other and a drink in his hand.
"Dawn…listen to me, your sister, she did it to save you. She loved you, she still loves you kiddo. It might not feel like it now, but…you will be happy again in your life." Loren said, Dawn looked at him, his red horns, green skin, he rather looked frightening to her at first, but after they began to talk she started to like the guy "Thanks Loren, but I still keep thinking about what happened." She said, looking just as sad as before.
Loren, the host, leaned back "Sing." He said, Dawn looked at him with a confused look "What?" she asked. Loren motioned with his finger "Sing, it's what I do, I can see what's in your soul." He said "And see what happened, naturally." He said, getting a little proud of himself.
Dawn thought for a little, she didn't know what to sing, or know that many songs by heart for that matter. Loren eventually raised his hand "May I make a suggestion?" he asked. Dawn shrugged, nodding a little. Loren moved in closely and whispered into her ear. As it was, Dawn knew this song, when Faith was around before she went 'nuts', "I know that song." She said.
She took a breath, thinking of the words…
We walk the narrow path…beneath the smoking skies. Sometimes…we can barely tell the difference between the darkness…and light. Do we have Faith…in what we believe? The truest test, is when we cannot…when we cannot see.I hear a pounding feeling in the streets below, and…and the women cried, and the children moaning. There's something wrong, and it's hard to believe…that…love will prevail, oh.
It won't rain all the time, the sky won't fall forever. And thought the light seems lost, your tears won't fall forever.
Oh…when I'm lonely, I lay awake at night, and I wish…you were here…I miss you.
Can you tell me…is there something more to believe in? Or is this all there is? And the pounding feeling, in the streets below, and…and a window breaks, and a woman falls, there's something wrong it's…it's hard to believe that love will prevail!
It won't rain all the time…the sky won't fall forever. And though the light seems lost…your tears won't fall…your tears won't fall…your tears won't fall…forever.
Last night I had a dream…you came…into my room. You took me…into…your arms. You were smiling…and kissed me, and telling me to still… believe.
(The failing emptiness against the burning sea in which we set out darkest aside.) And then…I fell asleep in…your arms. When I awoke…I cried again…for you were gone, oh, can you hear me?
No it won't rain all the time, the sky won't fall forever. And though the night seems long…your tears won't fall forever.
It won't rain all the time, the sky won't fall forever. And though the light seems lost…your tears won't fall…your tears won't fall…your tears won't fall…forever.
(Note: Jane Sibbery – It Can't rain all the time)
Dawn ended the song to find everyone was silent and looking at her, that song reminded them all of what happened, as well that it reminded Dawn of her sister. Loren looked at her, he saw what she had seen when Buffy had died and he was at a lack for words for once.
Dawn wiped the tears from her eyes and stood up, she rushed out of the room quickly, verging on the edge of breaking into sobs and cries. Angel walked up to Loren as Willow and Tara went after Dawn. "What was that about?" Angel asked him, sitting where Dawn had been. Loren looked at Angel, still stunned by what he had experienced as Dawn sang.
"Angel, Dawn…from that girls perspective, and with everything that's happened lately…this really hit her hard. I saw how Buffy died…it was…selfless." Loren said, trying to sum up words that still didn't seem to define what he saw. Angel sat back in his seat, since Willow had told them about Buffy's death at his hotel, he had remained as calm as he always did, and he was screaming inside horribly.
Dawn sat on the back porch crying, she shook with each breath. The sobs wouldn't stop as she buried her face in her hands, trying to muffle the cries she gave away loudly. Willow and Tara walked up behind her and sat on either side of her. Willow rubbed Dawns back gently as Tara sat with her knees up, resting her hands on them as she looked at Dawn with concern.
"Dawn…" Willow began, but as she spoke, Dawn jerked, causing Willow to yank her hand back quickly. "Go away!" Dawn yelled at them through her cries. Willow looked at Tara, silently asking her love to leave her and Dawn for a moment. Tara nodded and stood up, walking away she looked over her shoulder to Willow, whom was in turn looking back at her with worry on her face.
Willow looked back at Dawn who had her head lowered, her hair covering her face. "Willow stood up and moved to be in front of Dawn, kneeling down on the lawn "Dawn, listen to me…" she began, but Dawn shook her head, covering her ears as she rocked back and forth. "Dawn…" she said, but Dawn simply began to hum to herself.
Willow was trying to be calm, be strong for her like Buffy would have for all of them, but she couldn't. She grabbed Dawn by the wrists and removed her hands from her ears, Dawn stopped, she stopped rocking and humming as she looked right at Willow in shock for her sudden action of what she knew as brute force. "Dawn listen to me!" Willow yelled at her.
Dawn looked down at Willow, she saw the redheads eyes glistening with tears, "She's gone and I'm sorry for it Dawny, I am." Willow said, Dawn could hear her voice shake under her words. Dawn lowered her head again as she wiped her tears, Willow let go of her hands, crossing her arms, wrapping her arms around her stomach.
"It reminds me of her Willow, and it hurts…" Dawn said, looking back up at her. Willow nodded her head "Yeah, it does hurt doesn't it?" she said, letting her tears flow through now too.
Dawn burst again, sobbing and crying she leaned towards Willow, throwing her arms around the wiccan she buried her face in her neck, crying. Willow held Dawn tight, as she…they cried together, tears flowed from their eyes "It's ok Dawny, it's ok." Willow said, gently stroking her hair. They remained there for the next while, taking all the time they needed. After awhile, Willow sat next to Dawn again, her arms around her, holding her closely. She kissed her gently on the forehead, and rubbed her shoulder.
"Where'd you learn that song?" Willow asked her with a soft voice. Dawn looked up at her, she seemed to be doing much better now, at least for now. "From Faith, when she was staying here before, I walked in on her listening to that song instead of the usual heavy music she listens to, she taught me the words…it always reminded me of Buffy." Dawn said.
Buffy and Duncan drove down the street to the airport, he was taking her under his wing, and the first thing they had to do was leave Sunnydale. She hated this, leaving. Just about every part of her wanted to stay, but she knew deep down that Duncan was right, it would just make things far to complicated for her friends, as well as endanger their lives. She wouldn't allow that to happen purposely, people have been hurt from their involvement with her in the past, even killed.
Before long the car was parked and they gathered their bags, there wasn't a lot really, especially for Buffy, she only had a backpack over her shoulder. She managed to sneak into her room at night while no one was there and take a few clothes from her closet and dresser quickly.
They walked into the terminal, everything had already been setup by Duncan over the phone, the tickets were all in order and their flight was on time. They went through security rather quickly, Buffy was surprised, she had seen his sword, she wondered how he got the blade past the detector. As they continued onwards to their plane, se leaned closely to him "How'd you get the sword through?" she asked. Duncan smiled as he put on his sun-glasses "Trade secrets." He said to her.
Buffy stayed back a few steps, glaring at him with false anger "Wise ass." She muttered under her breath with a smile and catching back up to him as they walked to the plane together. Buffy stowed her bag into the overhead compartment and sat beside the window, all she could think about what was ahead for herself, and her friends.
"You're thinking about them aren't you?" Duncan asked her, Buffy looked out the window to the runway, nodding "Yeah, this just feels wrong to me." She said, looking at him for a moment "It hurts to leave." She added. Duncan rested his head back in his seat, he knew something about the pain she was feeling, the memories that seemed to hurt you deep down "In time it will be easier, I'll be there to help you through it." He said, turning his head to find her looking at him.
Buffy looked down, breaking eye contact, being shy "Thanks." She said, smiling shyly. She looked back out the window as the plane was beginning to speed up down the runway. "Can I ask one thing though?" She asked. Duncan nodded to her, ready for any question she had for him, Buffy thought for a moment of what to say "How was it that you were there right when I woke up? Or in Sunnydale for that matter?" she asked.
Duncan sighed deeply as her ran a hand through his short hair "Well, I was asked by a friend of mine, Joe, to come over to pick up an item that he and the people he works for have been looking for. When I read in the saw and heard that you died after that…bizarre night, I had a hunch, more like checking out if you were immortal or not." He said.
Buffy smirked a little "Good thing you did, who knows what trouble I'd have gotten into by now. And what was that item you had to pick up anyway?" she asked. Duncan thought for a moment, was she ready to know about the watchers just yet? Given the past history between watchers and immortal it may not be a good idea, "An old book, a chronicle on one of the oldest immortals still alive. Don't worry, when you're ready, I'll tell you what I know about everything, 'till then, just lay back and follow my lead.
Buffy smiled, accepting his explanation, she looked out the window once more as the plane lifted off.
As the plane lifted off, she could see the town more and more until it was all in her sight, she touched the window gently, feeling pain in her heart "See you around." She whispered to herself.
End part 1
